Alone With You
by slaves4hemo
Summary: *BRITTANA* Santana is infatuated with Rachel's new roommate. She knows Brittany's dangerous, but is she willing to take the chance? Are Brittany's flirtatious ways just apart of her fun-loving personality or could she actually be interested? Set in New York the summer before their sophomore year of college. Lots of glee characters.
1. Roommates

"Do we _have _to go?" I plead. "I've seen her perform like a million times."

"Yes, Santana," Quinn rolls her eyes as she grabs her oversized white-silver handbag and slings the rolled shoulder straps over her shoulder.

"She won't even be able to see us in the audience," I say. "We could just show up right as the show finishes and meet her in the lobby. She'd never know!"

"She has a solo," Quinn says clearly irritated as she walks to the doorway.

"I watched that girl sing more than enough solos in my four years at McKinley."

"Come on," she sighs as she jiggles the door handle.

"Ugh," I grunt as I follow Quinn out of our apartment and down the steps.

"We both know you like watching Rachel perform," Quinn smirks as we step out onto Columbus Circle.

"Shut up," I mutter as we navigate our way through the busy sidewalk. The city is always really super busy the first week few weeks of summer. College students try to enjoy their last week or two in New York before going home for the summer while local high school kids take advantage of their newly found freedom. Plus the insane amount of tourists.

"Sorry!" A woman apologizes after lightly bumping into my shoulder, trying to squeeze past me.

"Oh, no problem," I say a little taken aback by her apology.

Quinn chuckles.

"Clearly not from around here," I smile. I've learned you can usually tell a New Yorker from a tourist pretty easily. A real New Yorker wouldn't apologize for barely brushing against me, and they probably wouldn't have bumped into me in the first place. New Yorkers also don't smile at strangers. They don't really smile that much at all, actually. Not on the streets, at least. It's not all New Yorkers, just a good majority. Rachel always gets a lot of strange looks because she smiles like a fool at people she passes by.

Quinn and I walk quietly to NYADA's auditorium, but the bustle and noise from the city fill in the silence. It's only about a ten minute walk but it's really humid out so it feels a little longer. I'm constantly swiping my hair off the back of my neck to allow my skin to breath.

"Thank you," I nod to the tall doorman dressed in a dark suit. After surveying him and the crowd, I quickly look down at my outfit to make sure I'm not underdressed. I'm wearing a simple sundress that falls about mid-thigh. But it's black and the straps are the width of two of my fingers, so I decide it passes for dressy enough.

"This way," Quinn tugs my arm as she leads me through a giant group of people. She lets go to hand our tickets to the usher as she shows us to our seats. The auditoriums pretty big. Fancy, too. It's a lot nicer than the one at McKinely. The usher keeps walking closer and closer to the stage until we're literally in the front row.

"Right here," the small woman smiles as she hands our tickets back to us.

"Oh my god," Quinn breaths.

"I know," I say, examining my ticket. "Good thing we showed up, she definitely would have been able to see if we weren't here."

"No," she says as she turns to lightly hit my arm. "Look!"

I crane my neck around Quinn, only to see Sam Evans and Finn Hudson with huge goofy smiles rising to meet us.

"What!" I scream. "Sam!" I push Quinn to the side and scoot past her as I run into Sam's arms.

"Wh- what are you doing here?" I squeal as we both laugh out of excitement.

"I'm here for the summer," he says as we pull away. "I got an internship. Mr. Schue actually set it up. Finn, too," he smiles, motioning to the tall boy behind him.

"Finn," I smile to him as I drag out his name.

"Santana," he mocks my tone as he opens his arms and I slide past Sam to give him a hug.

"Good to see you," he says with a big smile.

As Quinn takes her turn saying hi to the boys, I suddenly remember that Finn and Rachel aren't dating right now. Actually, I thought they had a pretty bad breakup. Well, not a bad breakup, but Rachel was really hurt.

It was the end high school, so two summers ago, and Finn told Rachel he didn't want to hold her back. If you ask me, it was the pussy way out of the relationship. Finn stayed back home to go to college-single- while Rachel came here to follow her dreams. She cried for the entire first semester of college. Eventually, she was able to settle down but it's still clear she's in love with the guy.

Quinn, who briefly dated Finn (but who didn't), takes her seat next to Finn. I sit next to Quinn and Sam takes the outside next to me.

"So where are you interning?" I ask Sam as we settle into our seats.

"It's this recording studio mostly used by people in the broadway community-"

"What!" I freak. "That's so cool!"

"Well I'm not going to be doing anything with the music," Sam says. "Finn and I will be doing the bitch work. Getting coffee, carrying heavy stuff."

"Gotta start somewhere," I shrug. Sam chuckles a little as he keeps his eyes on me. "What?" I ask when his gaze doesn't falter.

"Nothing," he smiles. "Just- you seem like you matured a lot."

I shrug again. "You've been with me for like 5 seconds," I say. He rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, but what I see, it just confirms what I've heard."

"What have you heard?" I say, alarmed by other people using me as conversation, even if it is in a good way.

"Just that you had a good year. Worked hard, stayed out of trouble."

"I've always worked hard," I say defensively.

"What about the trouble you somehow managed to avoid," he smirks.

I pause as I think about it. Freshman year was fun. I had a good time. And I did it without stirring up any trouble. I think it was because I was a small fish in a big pond this time, instead of the other way around. Also, some of the stuff I would have done in high school just seemed kind of... _childish._

"I don't know," I start. "I guess I decided that I had enough of being such a bitch-"

"What? No more bitchy Lopez?" Sam says completely shocked. He kind of looks a little let down.

"Oh no," I smile. "I'm still me. I just pick my battles, I guess."

"Good," he smiles. "I like bitchy Lopez," he says with a cheesy wink.

A small older woman with light blonde hair walks out onto the stage towards a single microphone as the lights dim. Perfect timing. Sam is a great guy, and I really did miss him, but he's been trying to get me back since I broke up with him in the beginning of senior year. His flirting, even when it's just friendly, still can make me uneasy. He's one of the greatest guy friends I've ever had, and I love having that, but that's all I want. Sam and I sort of started dating because I decided I needed a boyfriend. I was single, and I was too hot to be single when everyone else was all paired up. And he was available and interested. Sam ended up being a great boyfriend. I ended up growing to love him- but only as a friend. That's one of the reasons I think it didn't work out. I actually cared about him and his feelings, unlike any of the other guys.

"Are these things any good?" Sam whispers as the lady introduces the first performance, some guy singing a classic broadway song from Les Miserables.

"Sometimes," I admit. "I mean, sometimes they are boring. Everyone's really talented, but if they do songs I don't like it's torturous."

The guy finishes his solo and the audience claps until he leaves the stage. I honestly couldn't tell you how good it was because I was too busy watching some strange interpretive dance going on in the background between a guy and a girl.

The lady comes back on stage.

"How about another round of applause for Joseph?" She says and we all clap again. "And another round of applause for our special guests from Juilliard. The students of NYADA's summer program have partnered up with some of the students from Juilliard's summer program. You'll get to see a taste of them throughout today's show," she explains. Makes sense. I guess that's where those dancers came from.

"Now, please welcome a group of first years performing a medley by the talented Lady Gaga!"

"What?" I say a little too excitedly as I grip Quinn's wrist. Quinn just laughs.

A group of about fifteen students come out on stage, maybe even a little more. Girls are wearing fancy dark silver dresses and boys are in nice black pants and white button-down shirts. They stand in small rows as the familiar opening from Bad Romance starts. The group quickly changes into the beginning of Just Dance and I find myself bobbing my head already. Right as they are about to go into the chorus of Just Dance, they switch back into the chorus of Bad Romance. Rachel steps forward a little towards the center of the stage as four dancers, presumably from Juilliard, step out onto stage with her.

"I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance," Rachel belts out.

Quinn's right. I do enjoy Rachel's solos. That girl's voice is unreal and it's undeniable. It's one of the most unique voices I've ever heard. The second she opens her mouth everything else is zoned out. She _is_ the show.

"I want your love and all your love is revenge you and me could right a bad romance," Rachel sings with a crazy run at the end. After she steps back into the group the audience gives applauds her, as they should.

"Makes me miss glee club," Sam whispers as they go back into Just Dance. A smile creeps onto my face as I remember all the amazing times we had in glee club. The competitions, the rehearsals, the music.

Just Dance quickly turns into Love Game and I'm suddenly really glad I came. Rachel takes another step forward and I'm pretty sure she's about to have another solo. She looks down a little towards our row and by the smile on her face I know she can see us. She's glad we came, too. Well, she's glad Finn came at least.

After a quick second of pokerface, Rachel begins to belt out a small solo to Paparazzi. Right before the chorus to Paparazzi starts four more Juilliard dancers pop out from the sides of the stage and join Rachel in the middle. Two boys are in the front blocking what I think are two girls behind them. They encircle Rachel until she returns back to the group. The four dancers join in a line with the first four. They follow a choreographed routine and it's really good. Then two girls step out of the line for small solos. The first girl is a smaller girl, about my height, with light brown hair. She's tan but not quite as tan as I am. The second girl is a little taller with bright blonde hair. Unlike the other girl, her hair isn't tied up and it reaches a little past her shoulders. They start dancing and they're _really_ good. So good that I forget there is a Lady Gaga mashup going on right now. It's clear why the got the solos. But the blonde girl is a little better. Well, maybe not technically better, but something about her is more fun to watch. It's like you can see how much fun she's having. She's almost glowing. And the way her body moves is hypnotizing. The songs are fast, but they aren't super fast. Usually dancers are only really appealing to me if they are dancing to a really fast song or some sort of hip-hop. But something about this girls dance is enticing.

I think of Mike Chang. Mike Chang is one of the best dancers I've ever seen live. Until today, actually, he was my favorite dancer to watch. This new girl takes the cake, though. I forgot Mike was at Juilliard, too. Maybe he knows her. He isn't doing a summer program though, otherwise I'm sure he'd have a solo, too.

The performance ends earlier than I'm ready for it too, but not before the blonde girl does an insane handless cartwheel and lands into a full out split. The singers come out in a big group and we all clap for them. Then Rachel, as the soloist, steps out. Everyone cheers a little louder as Rachel smiles her famous wide-mouthed grin before she steps back into the group. Then the eight dancers all step forward to receive their credit. The noise calms down again, not quite as loud as it was for Rachel but still pretty loud. Then the group points towards the center, towards the small brunette and my new favorite dancer. The two girls step forward towards the edge of the stage. If they took two more steps they would probably fall off the stage.

My eyes trace up the blonde girl's body to her face. She's smiling, kind of timidly. Almost like she doesn't quite know how good she really is. She's pretty, too. Like _really_ pretty. Magazine pretty. She's fair skinned. But it's the pretty kind of fair skin- the angelic kind. It has a special glow to it. Her eyes are so blue that I think people in the back row could see them just as clearly as I can.

"She's hot," Sam whispers, breaking my attention from the blonde. I follow his pointed finger until it directs me right back to the blonde.

I feel a pang of some emotion I can't quite place my finger on. It almost feels like jealousy. My eyes fall back over Sam as I try to comprehend my emotions.

Yeah, Sam's cute. Hot, even. His face. His body. His personality. But...nothing. I feel nothing. I know I feel nothing. So why am I jealous? Why do I care that he thinks she's hot?

Maybe I'm just like Quinn. A little territorial. Even when she didn't like Finn anymore, and she had completely moved on, she hated Rachel for like two full months.

But still, I never felt for Sam what Quinn felt for Finn. I've never felt that way for anyone, really.

When I turn back to the stage, the girls gone. Everyone's gone, actually. The stage is completely empty. When I look to my left I realize that Quinn, Finn, and everyone in the row behind them are already standing, waiting to exit the row.

"That was amazing," Quinn says as I rise to my feet.

"She's amazing," Finn says. _Then why'd you leave her_ I want to say, but I bite my tongue.

We walk single file out to the lobby and take a seat at a table for four while we wait for Rachel to come out. After a few busy minutes the lobby clears out and it's just a small group of us waiting for the performers.

"So how was freshman year?" Finn asks me as Quinn and Sam turn their attention towards me.

"Pretty good," I say. "Hard," I admit. "But next year I get to take a lot more classes that interest me. More music stuff. Production, song writing, stuff like that. This year was a lot of academic stuff."

"You heard Blaine got in, right?" He says.

"To NYU?" I say, shocked.

"Mhm," Finn says. "He got in a few other places, so I don't know for sure where he's going. That's what Kurt said at least."

"Cool." Blaine is cool. He's been good to Kurt. And that's what Kurt needed, after Karofsky bullied the crap out of him. He's not necessarily someone I'd go out of my way to hang out with, but he definitely knows who he is. And I respect that.

"How was freshman year for you?" I ask Finn.

"Great," he smiles. "I got to play football. My grades were good. But honestly, I kind of missed the whole music thing," he says.

"Shouldn't have gave it up," Sam says. "I took a few songwriting classes. And a guitar course," he smiles.

"I know," Finn sighs.

"So you survived?" Sam smiles at Quinn, turning the conversation to her. We all chuckle a little.

"Barely," she laughs.

"You should have seen how many all nighters this girl pulled," I say.

"You lived together all year?" Sam asks.

"Yeah. The apartment actually ended up being cheaper, if we split it, than room and board for NYU and Columbia," Quinn explains.

"Oh, cool," Finn says.

"We got to see Rachel a lot more, too," Quinn smiles, clearly trying to tease Finn. "Her dorm was only a five minute walk from us."

"Did she like her roommate?" Sam asks. "My roommate was a nightmare. Total jerk. But he got kicked out of the school, so I had a single the rest of the year."

"That's awesome," I say. I would hate to share a small dorm room with anyone. I don't know how I've made it this long with Quinn. "But they got along. She was quiet. But really nice. She's transferring to a school back home though. She just didn't have the competitive edge she needed for the business. Well, that's what Rachel said," I scoff as I roll my eyes.

Finn quickly jumps to his feet and gets a nervous smile. I snap my head around and see Rachel walking towards us. Sam, Quinn, and I all stand up as we walk over to greet her.

Quinn gets there first and they embrace.

"You were amazing!" Quinn says in her high-pitched, happy voice.

"Thanks," she smiles. I walk over to hug her next. "Thanks for coming. All of you," she says and I can see her clearly eyeing Finn.

"You sounded unreal," I tell her as my arms wrap around her neck.

"I miss you up there with me, you know," Rachel gives me her cheesy smile. Senior year of glee we performed a lot together. That's actually when we started not totally hating each other. It's not that I ever really_ hated_ her, I was just too into upholding my reputation. I was a bitch and she was an easy target. But Rachel kind of...got me that year.

"Sam!" Rachel says excitedly as he lifts her off her feet and twists side to side. "I missed you!"

"Me too, Rach," he says back. "Still as amazing as ever, by the way."

"Thank you Sam," she smiles. "Are you still performing?" She asks him.

"Yeah," he says. "Not as much as before. I took a few music related classes and all but I did smaller setting gigs this year. Like coffee house performances and small shows."

"That's awesome!"

Sam steps to the side allowing for Finn and Rachel to say their hellos. I think this is their first time seeing each other in person since the breakup. Rachel didn't go home for the holidays this year with us. I know they've spoken, but not in person.

They both smile timidly as they slowly inch closer together. I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes at how dramatic they both are. Some things never change.

They finally hug, Rachel not even reaching his shoulder. Their hug isn't as enthusiastic as all her other ones.

"It's good to see you," Rachel whispers, but I don't think it's on purpose.

"You too," he says back in the same tone.

They pull away and lock eyes for a moment, not saying anything.

"Well this is sufficiently awkward," I say under my breath, just loud enough for Quinn and Sam to hear. Quinn's arm slaps side as Sam lets out a giggle.

"Look," Sam breaths as he tugs at my hand. I turn around to where he's looking and see the same blonde girl, more striking up close. She's about fifteen feet away, hugging some guy.

"She was really good," I say.

"Good?" Sam spits. "She was amazing! And look at her," he says, completely love struck.

"You look like you could be related," I say defensively. I'm not sure what's making me defensive though.

Sam rolls his eyes as we turns our attention back to the group. Yup, Rachel and Finn still aren't speaking.

"Whose that?" Sam asks Rachel as he points to the blonde.

"Oh!" Rachel smiles as she trots away from us over towards the blonde. The two girls embrace and for the first time I see the blonde girl's real smile. It takes me a few seconds to realize I'm smiling along and I quickly wipe it off my lips. They start talking and all three of us are staring intently. I'm not sure why, though.

After about two minutes of conversation they hug again and Rachel walks back to us. The blonde girl's arm loops through the guy she's with as they walk out of the auditorium. I don't know why I'm so curious, but I want to know about that guy now too.

"Who was that?" Sam repeats himself when Rachel returns to the group.

"She's a dancer from Juilliard," She smiles. "She's good, right?"

"She was captivating," Quinn admits. My eyebrows arch a little. I hadn't realized everyone else noticed her too.

"Want to grab lunch?" Finn finally says.

"I thought you went mute," I say. Finn's a good guy. He really is. I just didn't like that he hurt Rachel, even if he didn't mean to. And he's pretty easy to pick on. He's a big goof.

"Sure," Rachel smiles. For a moment, Quinn, Sam, and I look at each other, deciding if we were included on that invite to lunch.

"Where do you guys want to go?" Rachel asks, clearing it up for us. I don't know if Finn necessarily wanted us all there, but it's clear Rachel does.

"Anything but French," I say as my face twists.

"She got a job at Per Se," Quinn explains.

"More than enough French cuisine to last me a lifetime," I say as Sam laughs.

"Let's just go next door," Rachel offers. "There's a small homemade pizza shop. All types of Italian food."

After we all agree, we walk next door and get a large round table for the five of us. The waiter leaves to get us some water and Quinn and Rachel start telling Finn about their "hilarious" encounter with the hot man from the new Crest toothpaste commercial.

"I was there," I whisper to Sam. "Wasn't that funny." Sam chuckles and shakes his head.

"So," he starts. "How are the kids at NYU?" he asks.

"Pretty cool," I shrug. "I mean, most of them are. There are a lot of different people here, but I kind of like it," I say. "It makes it easier to be yourself. There's always someone a little stranger than you," I laugh. He joins in.

"You hang out with a lot of them?"

"Well, yeah, but because I didn't live in the dorms I didn't make as many close friends as I probably would have if I was living in one. But I didn't care. I like Quinn more than any of the girls. But some of the kids in my classes, the ones I party with, they're really cool. They invite me out a lot."

"How are the guys?" Sam asks coyly.

"What guys?" I joke. Sam laughs and looks visibly relieved.

Straight guys that are not total dick faces that just want to make out are hard to find. I made out with a few guys this year, but no one interested me. I just really didn't care about them at all this year. I guess without all the pressure of high school it was just easier to realize that I didn't need a guy. Or want one.

"So girls," Rachel says, catching my attention. "I wanted to tell you something earlier, and it was really exciting, but now, I don't know."

"Hm?" Quinn asks.

"Well, I was going to try what you girls did this year. Being a sophomore, I don't have to live in the dorms. There was an apartment open across the street from yours. Literally, right across, and I put a downpayment on it-"

"What!" Quinn freaks. "Rach! Yes!"

"Well, the problem is, I put the downpayment down last month, when I had a roommate who was going to split the cost with me."

"Who?" I ask, confused.

"Kurt," she says. I can tell she's disappointed it didn't work out by the way she says his name. "We had it all planned out. But then Blaine got into NYU. And after spending a full year apart, he wants to spend every minute with him. I get it," she says. "I do, I'm not mad. I just, now I don't have a roommate. And I made the deposit. And if I don't find someone to pay, I'll get sued. And I really want the apartment. It's perfect. Only five minutes from school!"

"Where's Kurt gonna live?" Sam asks.

"Well, he's gonna try to rent another apartment. Then Blaine can live there and say he's commuting. He found one pretty close to us that he thinks is going to work."

"What are you going to do?" Quinn asks.

"I don't know," she says. "I guess I have to find a roommate."

"Well, I'm sure Finn or I would offer to help, but we're only here for the summer. You need a roommate for the entire year," Sam says apologetically. I'm suddenly so glad they're only here for the summer. I could _not_ deal with Finn and Rachel drama 24/7. Even when they're together they manage to make the stupidest problems seem like World War Three.

"Well, don't you know anyone from NYADA besides Kurt?" I ask.

"Not anyone I like enough to _live_ with," she says. "I mean, there's a few girls I really like, but I couldn't live with them. And Ashley and Emily," those are Rachel's really good friends we sometimes hang out with, "they're already living together. Those are the only girls there reliable enough to pay rent that I would want to live with."

The waiter comes back to take our order, two large pizzas and an order of calamari and garlic breadsticks. When he leaves, Quinn speaks up in her calm, motherly tone.

"It will all work out. There's got to be someone out there."

"How long do you have?" I ask, being more realistic.

"Till the end of the week. Otherwise I have to come up with the other half of the rent for the month. My Dads said they would pay, but I want to show them I'm responsible enough to handle it."

"The end of the week!" I exclaim. "As in Friday?" I ask. Rachel nods. "It's Wednesday!" I say with wide eyes.

"Santana," Quinn whispers my name, clearly telling me to relax. I know I'm not helping Rachel's nerves, but really, she's screwed.

"I know," she breaths, deflated.

The waiter brings out our calamari and breadsticks and I delve into the breadsticks basket.

"Some things never change," Sam laughs. I take one bite and shrug.

"It's no Breadstix, but it's good," I tell him and he laughs again.

"Hey Rach, isn't that your friend?" Finn asks nodding towards the door. We all turn our attention towards the entrance. Sam and I have to turn our heads to get a good look. Standing at the door, still linked arm-to-arm with the same man, is the blonde dancer.

"Brit!" Rachel calls as she throws her hand up in the air. The blonde looks over and smiles in recognition.

Sam looks over to me and smiles his hugest grin. I swear he could swallow my head that's how big his mouth is.

Rachel stands up to meet the blonde who now has a name-Brittany?- halfway.

I don't hear what they're saying but I can see their lips moving. Rachel gestures towards the table and for a quick second my stomach twists in a weird way. I turn back towards the table, confused as to why I feel any type of nerves.

"I- I think she's coming over here," Sam stutters excitedly like a child as he taps my leg. I twist my body around and see Rachel walking towards us with the blonde and her friend following closely behind.

"Guys, this is Brittany and Jeremy," Rachel says pointing to them. "They're gonna join us."

"I hope that's okay," the blonde says softly. I look over to get a closer look at Jeremy. He's a good looking guy, really fit. Tan with light green eyes and short brown hair.

"Of course it's okay," Sam says a little too quickly. The hostess drags over two more chairs and slips them in between Rachel and Quinn. We all scoot our chairs over a little, making enough room for them.

"This is Quinn," Rachel points to Quinn.

"Nice to meet you," Quinn smiles to them both.

"That's Sam."

"Hi," Sam smiles. "You were amazing today, by the way," he says nervously.

"Oh, yeah!" Quinn says in agreement.

"Thank you," Brittany says with a soft smile.

"Santana," Rachel gestures to me.

I smile a little and give a slight wave but say nothing. I don't know why, but I'm almost certain if I open my mouth nothing would come out. Brittany's eyes meet mine as she smiles back. I thought her eyes were blue before, but they're even bluer than I remember.

"This is Finn," Rachel says breaking Brittany's eyes from mine. By the way Brittany smiles at Finn, I can tell Rachel already told her a little about him.

"We all went to high school together," Rachel explains.

"All of you?" She says shocked.

"Yup," She smiles.

"In Ohio? How did you all end up here?" She asks. Everyone laughs a little, partly because it is pretty funny. How _did_ we all end up in New York, 500 miles from home.

"I don't know," Rachel laughs. There's a long answer to that question but nobody wants to get into it right now.

"Jeremy and I went to high school together too," Brittany explains. "But he graduated when I was a sophomore."

"High school sweethearts?" Sam asks cooly. For some reason, I'm glad he did. It's exactly what I was wondering but I didn't want to be the one to ask.

Brittany and Jeremy burst out laughing as she throws her head into his chest. Her laugh is almost as contagious as her smile. It's a soft giggle at first but quickly turns into one of those silent laughs.

"N-no," Brittany spits out through her laughing fit.

"No," Jeremy says, still smiling. "I'm gay," he explains confidently. I feel my body relax a little. I didn't even know I was tense to begin with.

"Ohhh," Sam smiles, doing a poor job of hiding his excitement. "Yes!" Sam whispers into my ear.

"So Jeremy," Quinn starts, trying to move past any possible lingering awkward tension. "Are you in a summer program or do you just live here?"

"Well, actually, I was in the program with Brit at Juilliard. I'm a dancer there, too," he explains. "But I'm leaving next week for LA."

"He booked a tour gig," Brittany chimes in. "Britney Spears!" She says proudly.

"What!" Rachel and Quinn say at the same time. "That's incredible!" Q says.

"Thanks," he smiles. "I'm excited."

I don't know why I don't freak out out loud either. Britney Spears is one of my favorite performers ever.

"He's amazing," Brittany says. "I'm so proud," she feigns a motherly voice. I let out a soft chuckle that no one but Brittany seems to hear. She looks up to me and smiles and I immediately look back down at my plate.

"Have you met her yet?" Sam asks.

"Britney? No, I meet her when we start rehearsals."

"I can't imagine how excited you are," Quinn says. Jeremy laughs a little and smiles.

"Me on the other hand," Brittany sings.

"I know, I know," Jeremy smiles softer at her. "I'm so sorry, B."

She laughs. "Under any other circumstances, I'd be pissed."

When she realizes we're all a little lost in their conversation, she quickly clears it up.

"Oh, I'm obviously really happy for him. It's just, on top of him being my best friend, he's also my housing provider," she smiles. "Room and board wasn't covered by my- it wasn't covered-"

"By her scholarship," Jeremy fills in. I think Brittany had been to modest to say it. If I was as good of a dancer as her, I would _not_ be modest at all. It makes her even more impressive, though.

"Yeah," she says shyly. "And Jeremy was already here, in his apartment. And he offered to let me stay in his spare room. The rent was so much cheaper than room and board. My Dad was so happy," she smiles. "But now, he's leaving."

"Where are you going to stay?" Rachel chimes in and I think it's suddenly clear to everyone where Rachel's going with this.

"I'm not sure. He said I could stay till next month and he'd help pay the rent, since it was such a quick decision, but I feel bad. I'm probably going to try to talk to Juilliard or something. Get a dorm room. Maybe try to be an R.A. That way it would be paid for. But I don't know if that will even work out."

"I need a roommate!" Rachel says super excited. "My roommate bailed. If you want, I mean, you can come see it. It's right on Columbus Circle. It's only about a five minute walk from Juilliard. Maybe a little longer, I'm not sure. But we'd be splitting rent. It was cheaper than NYADA's room and board, so it's probably cheaper than Juilliard's."

"Really?" Brittany says. She seems pretty interested.

"Yeah, if you want, after this I can show you it. If you're interested. If you don't want to it's totally fine too," Rachel says less aggressively.

"N-no," Brittany smiles. "That would be awesome! I'd love to!"

"Great!" Rachel grins.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"We're only 9 blocks from you guys," Sam smiles as we walk onto our street. "50th street."

"I actually love Columbus Circle," Brittany says. "I can't believe you found apartments this cheap here."

"I know," Rachel smiles. "Student discounts and a little bit of luck."

"Quinn, Santana, you guys want to come see it too?" Rachel asks as we're about to walk towards our apartment.

"Sure," Quinn chirps. We walk to the crosswalk and wait for the white walking man to signal it's safe to walk across. The streets are busy as usual and I lose vision of most of my friends. Sam's still next to me though so I'm not totally worried.

"I like your dress," Brittany's voice startles me from behind. I turn to look at her and manage a small smile.

"Thanks," I say before turning forward again.

"What's the matter?" Sam whispers. "Cat got your tongue?" he jokes. I let out what I think is a nervous laugh. I hadn't really realized how quiet I've been being. It must be even weirder to Sam who knows me as Santana from high school. I never shut up there. And here I am acting all shy.

"Just tired," I tell him. But that's not it. I'm not tired at all. In fact, I have a lot of energy right now. I slept at least ten hours last night.

We walk across the street when the light changes and make it to what Rachel says is her building. She's right, it's directly across from ours.

"You already have keys?" I ask when Rachel pulls them out of her purse.

"Mhm," she smiles with pride. "Come on," She says as we follow her up the stairs to the second floor.

Rachel unlocks a door and we walk into an empty apartment. It's almost identical to Quinn and I's. It's probably the same owners.

Right when you walk in there's a small space for a living room. Then there's a doorway without a door that leads to the kitchen. It's a really nice kitchen. Nicer than ours. The living room also connects to three doors. One's a large bathroom and the other two I assume are the bedrooms. They're pretty far apart and on opposite sides of the room so it gives them both a lot of privacy. It's the same set up Quinn and I have. I love it. I could stay up all night listening to music and Quinn wouldn't even hear.

I walk right towards the farther bedroom to peak inside. I step inside to the empty room and my eyes widen. It's _literally_ right across from our apartment. By looking out this window I'm looking straight into my room's window. I can see my bed, my dresser, my computer.

My heart stops for a second when I think of the people that could and already have seen me in my room.

"Do you like it?" a voice asks as they enter the room. I turn my head away from the window and the blonde is standing there alone.

"Oh, yeah. It's nice," I say as I watch her eyes flicker around the room. "Do you?" I ask, realizing that she's the reason we're here.

"I love it," she smiles. "I thought I wasn't gonna have anywhere to stay," she admits in a softer voice. "Now I get a nice place with a new friend. I just feel really lucky."

Her softer voice makes me smile a little. I turn back towards the window as I feel my grin growing bigger than I want it to.

"What are you looking at?" Brittany asks and I can hear her getting closer.

"That's where I live," I point when I feel her standing next to me.

"Really?" She says excitedly.

"Yeah, that's my room," I say. "The one with the dark red bed sheets."

"I like them," she smiles as she turns to me. I'm pretty positive my face is starting to turn the shade of the sheets.

"What do you think?" Jeremy asks as he walks in, followed by Rachel and Quinn.

"I- I love it," she says again in awe. "Rachel, are you sure about this?" She asks.

"Sure about what?" She asks.

"That this okay," Brittany says weakly. "That it's okay for me to live here. That you- that you want me to," she says even quieter.

I don't know why anyone would ever _not_ want her to live with them. I know I just met her, but I can't imagine her doing anything that would be even the slightest bit bothersome.

"Of course!" Rachel smiles as she walks closer to Brittany. "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to live with me. And we'll have a lot of fun!"

"Y-yeah," she smiles. "Okay!"

"Okay?" Rachel repeats, enthusiasm growing.

"Okay," Brittany smiles. Rachel lets out a squeal as she throws her arms around Brittany's neck.

"So you're doing this?" Jeremy asks one last time.

"I'm doing it," Brittany nods. "I'm moving in!"

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Okay, so let me know what you guys think of the story so far! I wanted to do a summer romance type story but if I sent them somewhere away to meet it would be hard to incorporate the other characters. If you guys like it please let me know so I continue! Otherwise I may start a different idea.

I hope you guys liked it!

xoxo

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . Com


	2. Moving In

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana and Quinn go to watch Rachel's show and see Sam and Finn who are in NY for the summer_

_-Santana is mesmerized by Brittany dancing on stage_

_-Sam, who has always been interested in Santana, was also mesmerized by Brittany_

_-When the group goes out to lunch, they run into Brittany and her roommate Jeremy who join them_

_-Rachel and Brittany both realize they need roommates and after already putting a downpayment on the apartment across from Santana and Quinn Rachel asks Brittany to move in with her_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Wear something you can move around in," Quinn says as she peaks her head into my room.

"Ugh," I moan as I tug the covers further over my head.

"We have to leave in ten minutes, Santana! Get up!" I hear her exit the room but she leaves the door cracked open.

"Why can't Finn and Sam do all the heavy lifting?" I cry loud enough for her to hear me.

"They will," she screams back. "That doesn't mean we don't still have to help set them up!"

I shove the blanket off of me as I roll off the bed onto my feet. Quinn signed us up-without my knowledge- to help Rachel and Brittany move into their new apartment. It's not like I could have said no, but still.

I pull on my tightest black workout leggings that fall mid-calf on my legs. I run my fingers through my hair and pull it up into the classic ponytail I wore so often in high school. I throw on a short sleeve white v-neck t-shirt and head to the bathroom. I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth before applying light mascara and a little foundation.

"You ready?" I hear Quinn yell from the living room.

"Chill your grill," I shout as I run back to my room to grab my sneakers. I quickly put on some socks and slip on my black Nikes with the neon green accent. I take my time walking out to the living room, partly to tick Quinn off a little and partly because who cares if we're late? We have all day to help them.

Quinn is sitting on our recliner with her legs crossed and her head propped up by her hand. Her annoyed look just makes me laugh a little.

"Calm down," I chuckle.

"We told them we'd be there _five_ minutes ago," she says flatly.

"I think they'll be okay," I tell her as I open the door and wait for Quinn to meet me.

"You coming?" I ask when she doesn't stand up. "You're holding me up! We're gonna be late," I mock.

Quinn rolls her eyes as she tries to stifle a laugh.

"They got a moving truck?" I laugh a little when we make it out of the building. Across the street is a small truck parked in front of the apartment.

"What were they supposed to do?" Quinn asks. "They're moving."

I shrug as we keep walking.

As we wait at the crosswalk we see Finn and Sam grab a couch out of the truck and struggle up the few steps into the apartment.

"Did Rachel get a new couch?" I ask when I realize I've never seen that black fabric love-seat type chair before.

"It could be Brittany's," Quinn says.

Right. Brittany. I forgot she was moving in too. Well, maybe I hadn't forgotten. But I forgot she had stuff to move in too.

We make it to the truck and it's almost completely empty. Only two small suitcases and Rachel's familiar brown couch.

"I guess we are kind of late," I say not so upset.

"Come on," Quinn rolls her eyes as she grabs one of the suitcases and I grab the other. We climb up the stairs and about halfway up run into Finn and Sam on their way down.

"Hey girls," Sam smiles. "Need help?" He asks when he sees us carrying the suitcases.

"I'm good," I say. "The couch is still down there."

"Yeah, we got it. Is that all that's left?" Finn asks.

"I think so," Quinn says before we continue up the steps and into the apartment.

"Hi!" Rachel cheers as we walk through the door. There's an enormous pile on the floor from the stuff in the moving truck. I toss my suitcase into the pile.

"Happy moving day!" Quinn sings as she gently places the suitcase down and throws her arms around Rachel's neck. I follow Quinn's example and give Rachel a hug.

"Hey," I say as I lean in.

"Thanks for helping," she smiles.

When I turn around to check out the pile, Brittany walks out of her new room, the one directly across from mine. She smiles as she flicks her blonde hair off her shoulder. Her white tank top and grey sweats shouldn't look cute but it does.

"Hi Brittany!" Quinn smiles as she walks closer. My eyebrows crease when I realize she's going to give her a hug. They met yesterday.

"Hi!" Brittany smiles back in the same tone as the girls hug as if they do it everyday.

"Hi Santana," Brittany smiles as she starts walking closer to me and I realize she's going to give me a hug too.

"Hey," I say softly. Her arms open as she stops less than a foot away from me. I wrap my arms around her back while I feel her arms tighten around my neck.

"Thanks for helping us," she says cheerfully. It almost makes me laugh, her enthusiasm. It's so genuine and real. I don't know any other girls that could have just hugged me after knowing me for like 5 minutes without making me uncomfortable.

"Sure," I tell her.

The sound of footsteps and heavy breathing enters the room as the boys place the couch down with a loud thump.

"Yay!" Rachel claps. "That's the last of it, right?"

"Yup," Finn says.

"Okay," Rachel starts. "How about we move our stuff into our rooms. Then we can do the living room later when there's less stuff in this pile."

"Sounds good," Brittany smiles. Something tells me that even if she wasn't okay with it she isn't the type of girl to say so.

"Boys, will you carry the beds and heavy furniture into our rooms? We'll take care of the rest," she says. They both nod and she immediately starts directing them on where to go. I roll my eyes. Classic Rachel.

"Quinn, can you grab that?" she says as she points to a box. Quinn lifts the box and follows Rachel into her room, leaving Brittany and I alone.

"Oh, San, help Brit set up her room," Rachel says before entering her room.

I turn to face Brittany and she's standing there smiling.

I turn back around and watch Finn and Sam disappear into Rachel's room with the giant bed

frame, leaving Brittany and I completely alone.

"What should I grab?" I ask after the silence starts too feel uncomfortably long.

"The black suitcase set is mine. We can bring that stuff in first," she says.

The suitcases only take one trip back and forth but it's silent trip. I don't know why, but I keep finding myself over-thinking what I want to say. Once Brittany starts conversation, though, it becomes a little easier.

"So where are you at school?" She asks.

"NYU," I say as I put the last bag of clothes down.

"That's awesome," she smiles. "Are you doing a summer program?"

"No, I'm just here to work and hang with the girls. Home is boring, especially when everyone is here."

"Where are you working?" She asks as we walk back out to the living room.

"Per Se," I tell her. "It's a French restaurant. I'm just a hostess."

"That's awesome," she smiles. I smile a little because it's not that awesome but I think Brittany really believes it is.

"So what do you study?" She asks as she grabs one of her boxes.

"I want to do something with music," I tell her. "Maybe producing, or writing."

"What about performing?" She asks.

I shrug. "I don't know," I say.

"Rachel told me you were in glee club with her. She says you have an amazing voice," Brittany smiles as she points to a box for me to grab.

I lift the box. "I was in glee," I admit. "You asked Rachel about me?" I find myself smiling as I look at her out the corner of my eye.

She gets this bashful look on her face as she carries the box to her room. I quickly follow behind her, intrigued.

She shrugs and decides to ignore me.

"So why don't you want to perform?" She asks.

"Honestly, I just don't think it's realistic," I tell her after a short pause.

"Why not?" She asks.

I place the box down. "There are a lot of talented people out there."

"And?" She asks.

"So the chances of me making it for singing-"

"Are pretty similar to the chances of you making it as a music producer. Or a songwriter. Or a successful accountant," she adds. I can't help but laugh at her last suggestion.

As I pick up the next box I take a long look at the girl in front of me. Why did I just tell her that. That I didn't think I was good enough. In all the years I've known Quinn and Rachel I don't think I've ever even hinted at not being good enough. I told them I wasn't as into performing anymore and I'd rather be behind the scenes.

"Sing," Brittany says as she drops the box on her floor.

"What?"

"Sing for me," she smiles as she puts her arms on both sides of the doorway, blocking my way out.

"No," I giggle nervously.

"Please," she begs.

"No," I laugh. "Let's go get your stuff," I say as I try to push her arms down so I can slip past her.

I'm immediately taken aback by the softness of her skin. I flinch a little as I pull my hands away.

"Come on," she begs. I cross my arms across my chest as Brittany pouts out her lip, making the classic puppy dog face I used to use on my Dad whenever I wanted something.

"Brittany?" Sam's voice calls from the living room. "Can we bring your bed frame in now?"

"Yeah!" She shouts as she cranes her neck out of the room. When her head returns to the room she laughs. "I guess you're off the hook for now."

I can't help but smile.

I feel kind of silly, now. Being all nervous around her. Brittany may be one of the easiest people to talk to in the world. I didn't think about one of my answers, they all just came out. And none of them have been bitchy like they so often are.

Sam and Finn walk in and place the Queen size bed frame in the corner of the room, so the head of the bed and the left side are up against walls.

"We'll go grab the mattress," Finn says as the boys walk back towards the big pile.

I walk over to the window and look across into my room.

"Shit," I mumble.

"What?" Brittany quickly answers.

"I forgot to turn my lights off. Quinn's gonna kill me," I say. "She thinks it effects our electric bill way more than it actually does."

"Want to run over and turn it off?" She asks.

"Nah," I shrug. "It's not that big of a deal. Quinn's not that scary."

Brittany smiles.

"We should get walkie-talkies," she says with a big grin.

"Huh?" I say.

"Walkie-talkies?" she says, confused that I don't know what she's talking about.

"Yes," I laugh. "I know what they are."

"We should get them," she repeats herself. I give her a confused look and she continues. "We can see each other from our windows," she smiles. "If I want to talk to you I can use a walkie-talkie. It's less than a mile."

"Or we could just use a phone," I suggest.

"That's no fun," she jokes as Sam and Finn enter again with the mattress, placing it down on the bed.

"What's no fun?" Sam asks with a smile.

"You," I jump in, making Brittany laugh.

"_Ha ha_," he feigns a laugh.

"Thanks for helping," Brittany says as she flops down on her bed.

"Of course," they answer in unison.

"Finn? Can you help me move this?" Rachel calls from her room.

"That's my cue," he smiles as he exits the room.

"You excited about your new place?" Sam asks.

"Yeah," she says. "It's really nice."

"I bet all your friends in dorms are jealous," he says.

She shrugs and I see her expression soften a little.

"I guess," she says. I don't know if Sam picks up on it or not but he changes the subject.

"How's your summer program going?" He asks.

"It's good," she says and her light tone returns. "It's just two classes a few times a week but it's super fun. Do you take classes?" She asks.

"No, I'm here for an internship," he says.

"Oh cool! So were you in glee club, too?" She asks.

"Mhm," he says. "We all were."

"So Santana," she nods to me. "How good is she?"

Sam's smile grows as he eyes me. "This girl," he says as he bumps his shoulder into mine, "is amazing."

Brittany looks over an gives me a toothy grin.

"Shut up," I say as I playfully slap his arm.

"It's true," he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. "I'm a lucky guy," he smiles. "I'm in a room with two of the most talented girls in New York."

I roll my eyes with a laugh as I push his arm off of me. Sam lets out a laugh because he knows how cheesy he's being.

"Sam, I need your help man," Finn calls.

"Later," he says to us as he walks out to help Finn.

Brittany giggles.

"He's cool," Brittany says when Sam's far enough away.

"Yeah," I agree. "Nice guy."

"So, are you two...?"

"Oh, n-no," I quickly stammer. "No. No." I don't know why I want to keep saying no, but I want it to be clear that Sam and I are not together. "I mean, we used to date or whatever, but not anymore. Just friends."

"Oh," she says.

"Wait, why did you think that?" I ask, suddenly concerned I'm sending Sam the wrong signals.

"No, it's nothing," she says. "I was just curious."

I give her a knowing look, waiting for her to tell my why she _really_ thought it.

"It's stupid," she says.

"Please," I say

"It's just the way he looks at you," she finally says.

My eyes widen for a second. I didn't expect that.

"I mean, it's just he looks at you, I don't know. You can just tell he cares," she says.

"He's a really good friend," I tell her. She nods as she stands up off the bed and unzips one of her suitcases. She pulls out light blue bedsheets and throws them onto her bed.

"Can you help me put these on?" She asks.

"Mhm," I say as we each grab a corner of the sheet. "I can't believe you thought we were dating," I laugh, suddenly realizing how funny it is.

"Why is it so funny?" She asks as she tucks the corner under the mattress. "You dated before."

"No, no, it's not that. It's just, if we were dating, don't you think I would have been a little upset with him for blatantly flirting with you?"

"What?" Brittany says. She lets go of the sheets and looks up at me completely stunned.

"Wait," I scoff. "Don't tell me you didn't notice."

"I- I didn't."

"What do you mean you didn't notice," I say in disbelief. "He was practically _drooling_!"

Brittany looks down nervously as her cheeks turn bright red.

"I'm not good at noticing those thing," Brittany says super softly.

"What things?"

"When someone flirts with me. I don't know, I don't usually pick up on it. Sometimes I just- I've been told I have a flirty personality. And sometimes I just think everyones like that. So I don't really notice when someone's _actually _interested," she explains. She looks really embarrassed.

"Well I'll help you out," I smile. "And Sam definitely is," I laugh.

"Thanks," she smiles as she looks back up at me. She unfolds her other sheet and lays it on top of her bed, tucking in the bottom corners. "I think my comforter is in that bag," she says pointing to the suitcase next to me. I lean down and unzip it and pull out the fluffiest blue comforter ever. I toss it onto the bed.

"So where's Jeremy?" I ask as Brittany and I straighten out her comforter.

"He left this morning," she says, clearly upset. "We said our goodbyes last night."

"I'm sorry," is all I can think to say when I see the look on her face.

"Thanks," she finally says. Then we fall silent.

Brittany sits down on the edge of her newly made bed and starts to tinker with the small throw pillow I just tossed her.

Not quite sure what else to do, I sit down on Brittany's bed leaving over a foot of space in between us.

"You guys are really close?" I ask even though I know the answer. I don't know if it's bad to keep talking about him because she seems so upset but the words slip out of my mouth. I want to know about her.

"Yeah," she confirms. "He's- he was kind of my only real friend here," she barely manages to get out.

I look up at her gentle expression in disbelief. Brittany is so easy to get along with and outgoing, how could she have any trouble making real friends?

"It's not that I don't get along with people," she quickly stammers. "Just, not living in the dorms, it was hard making friends at first. And I really focused on school and dancing, so I didn't go out that much. I mean, I have a few friends in my classes and stuff, but I always knew I had Jeremy. So I didn't really put myself out there," she shrugs.

"I kind of did the same thing," I confess. "I didn't really try that hard because I had Quinn. Rachel, too. I don't know what I'd do if they left."

Brittany's expression softens a little.

"I just feel really lucky," she says. "Rachel was so nice. And she made it easy to be her friend. It all just worked out really nicely," she smiles.

"Hey we're gonna- Oh hi," Rachel smiles at us as she walks into Brittany's room. "We're gonna start doing the living room soon if you're ready."

"Okay," Brittany says, jumping off the bed. She walks past Rachel into the living room.

Rachel gives me the biggest grin as she arches her eyebrows.

"What?" I say a little ruffled.

"Nothing," she says in a singsongy voice.

"Shut up," I say as I shove past her. Rachel giggles and I try my best to keep my face from changing color.

When I make it into the living room Finn, Quinn, and Rachel are spreading out a large carpet on the wooden floor.

"Oh, I like that," I say about the plain dark grey carpet.

"Thanks!" Rachel smiles.

"Where's Sam?" Finn asks. "We need to move the couches on top of the rug."

"He's with Brittany," Quinn says and I feel my stomach tie into a bunch of nerves. Again, I don't know why this keeps happening. I don't feel anything for Sam.

"We're right here," Sam says as they walk out of Rachel's room, both with big smiles on their lips. My stomach twists even tighter.

"Santana, we set up my room the same way they set up Rachel's," she laughs in excitement. "Come look!" She says as she turns back into Rachel's room. The tightness in my stomach eases a little as I follow her into the room.

Sure enough, the bed is up against the wall the same way Brittany's is. Where Brittany's planning to put her love seat is where Rachel put her recliner. Their dressers are in the same place, too.

I chuckle a little. "That's crazy," I say.

"I know!" she laughs.

I flop down on Rachel's bed and pet her weird tan comforter.

"I like your bed better," I say and immediately regret it. Am I flirting?

Brittany sits beside me and I feel myself tense up a little. "Me too," she says casually after lightly bouncing up and down.

I'm suddenly so glad Brittany has trouble decoding when people are flirting because I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it sounded like I was doing.

"So Sam asked if I wanted to hang out tonight," Brittany says. I feel like someone punches me in the stomach. What the _hell _is going on with me?

"Oh?" I manage to say.

"Yeah," she says softly.

"What did you say?" I ask slowly, nervous to hear her answer.

"Well, I said it sounds like fun. But- I don't know," she trails off. "I- I'm not good at dates- I don't know if that's even what this is. But we just met and I don't know."

"Sam's sweet," I tell her. "He'll make you feel comfortable."

Brittany nods, but she doesn't look totally convinced.

"But, if you really want, since he said hang out, I can try to make it a group thing?" I suggest. "Like ask everyone to hang out? Then maybe-"

"Yes!" Brittany says as she grabs my hands. "Yes, please. If you could. That would be great," she says as calmly as she can.

I giggle.

"Thanks," she says softer as she takes her hands off mine. I don't really realize her hands were on mine until she takes them off and I suddenly feel cold without them.

"Brit?" Rachel calls from the living room. "Do you want this couch here or here?" She shouts.

Brittany hops up and walks back out of the room. I follow behind after I realize I can feel my heart beating a little harder than usual. I think I need something to eat.

Brittany must have already told Rachel her opinion because the boys are placing the couch directly across from the TV.

"Ugh, where is the food?" I ask as I walk into a vacant kitchen.

"What do you expect?" Quinn says. "They just moved in!"

"So?" I say as I empty every possible cabinet.

"Keep opening them," Sam jokes, "maybe something will appear."

"_Ha_," I fake laugh. "Keep talking, maybe I'll punch you in the face."

Sam laughs it off. That's why I've always liked him. He can actually take a joke.

"Santana," Rachel scolds as I walk back into the living room and plop down on the newly placed couch.

"I'm sorry about her," Rachel smiles to Brittany. "If she says something like that to you don't take it personally. It's just her humor," she explains as I roll my eyes. "She doesn't mean it. Well, sometimes she does."

Brittany laughs. "It's okay. She hasn't said anything bad to me."

Every person in the room flicker their eyes to me in disbelief.

"What?" I say defensively.

"Santana Lopez hasn't said _anything_ mean to you?" Quinn asks Brittany without taking her eyes off of me.

"Nope," Brittany laughs.

"Maybe she's a changed person," Finn says.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I don't always have to be a bitch?" I ask. "Maybe Brittany just doesn't say things to piss me off like the rest of you," I joke.

"And she's back," Sam jokes as he sits down next to me. We all laugh and I'm glad the attention is off me and my sudden change in character towards Brittany.

"You guys wanna go out tonight?" I say. "Maybe go to Pulse? You know, to celebrate the big move."

"Why not Mist?" Rachel asks.

"Because we aren't all 21, right?" I ask, looking at Sam. I dated him for a year, I'm pretty positive I know his birthday.

"Yeah," he says bashfully. "Still got 4 months."

"Having spring and summer birthdays are the best," Rachel smiles. "Are you 21 yet?" she asks Brittany.

"Yeah," she smiles. "I turned 21 last week."

"What!" Rachel squeals. "Well now we have to celebrate!"

"I've never been to the Pulse," she says excitedly.

"It's cool," I say. "And they allow little babies like Sam," I say in a baby voice as I pinch his cheeks. "18 and up. But they have alcohol for 21 and older if you have wristband. But it's still easy to get some to the children, don't worry Sammy," I smile to him.

"Thanks," he says, annoyed at my baby jokes. Or maybe he's annoyed that I ruined his solo night with Brittany. Either way, I don't really care.

We finish moving everything in, except for the kitchen. Since there's no food, it doesn't really need much done. The girls still have to put their clothes and drawers and obviously making things more comfortable, but they said they could do that themselves.

"Okay," Quinn starts. "So we'll meet at Pulse at 9?"

"Sounds good," Rachel says as they all nod.

"Thanks again!" Brittany says.

"Yeah, thanks!" Rachel adds.

"No problem," we say as we walk out of their apartment.

"That wasn't so bad," Quinn says as we make our way onto the street.

"I guess," I say. It wasn't bad at all, though. It was pretty fun, actually.

"You seem to get along with Brittany," Quinn notes. "That's good."

"You guys act like I'm going to scare off every person we meet. I'm not _that_ bad."

"I know," Quinn laughs a little. "You're only like that with us now. You've come a long way," she says in a reminiscent tone.

"Shut up," I say. Quinn just laughs.

"Do you think Sam and Brittany are going to hook up?" She asks after we cross the street.

I shrug, and suddenly realize how much I _don't_ want that to happen.

"I don't know," I say honestly. "He asked her to hang out tonight, and she seemed excited," I say remembering. "But she also was nervous. Or unsure."

"Wait-" Quinn stops me.

"What?"

"Is that why you asked us to go out? As a group?"

"Wh-" I start getting nervous.

"Because you were helping Brittany out?"

"Oh, yeah," I say, realizing what Quinn means. "Don't tell Sam, okay?" I say.

"No, of course not. That was nice of you," she says as we enter our building.

"I guess. She just thought it would be easier in a group setting, I think."

"I get that," Quinn nods. "They'd be really cute together though, don't you think?"

I shrug. "They kind of look alike," I say again.

We walk up the steps and Quinn stays quiet till we make it to the top.

"Do you- do you care if Sam dates her?"

"What? No, why would I care?" I say a little flustered.

"Well, you did date him for a year. I don't know. I felt weird about Finn dating Rachel, even when I was over him."

"Oh, right," I say softly. "I mean, you know I love him. I just want him to be happy."

Quinn smiles and nods as she throws her purse on the couch.

"Go get ready," she says as she walks into her room.

"Go get ready," I mock under my breath. But I listen. The truth is, without Quinn I would probably be totally lost.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Damn," Quinn says as I walk into our bathroom. "Can you breath?" She laughs as she looks at my short black dress.

"It's not _that _tight," I say as I grab my makeup bag. Quinn laughs because we both know it is pretty tight. It's straps are pretty thin, about the width of two of my fingers. It has a neckline that swoops down and makes my chest look pretty good.

"I like your outfit," I tell her as I start applying my foundation.

"Thanks." She's wearing a high waisted black skirt with cream colored shirt.

"You gonna wear heels?" She asks.

"Mhm."

"Are you trying to meet a guy or something?"

"Maybe," I say, even though I have zero intention of doing so.

"What about you?" I ask. Quinn's had a pretty boring year. She had a hard time adjusting to the workload and ended up staying in a lot. I couldn't tell you if she got with more than two guys all year. And they were each one time. For a girl as beautiful as Quinn, that's not that much. Then again, Quinn's been pretty reserved with guys since high school. Puck, though she'd never admit it, broke her heart. I really think he loved her. Maybe he still does. But he was never ready to be in a real relationship. He would lead her on, tell her he really liked her. Then two dates later he'd stand her up or cancel and he'd start hanging with other girls. It was a cycle for pretty much all four years.

Quinn shrugs and ignores my question.

"You should put yourself out there again," I tell her. "I'm not telling you to marry the first guy you see, but have some fun tonight, okay?"

Quinn smiles as she brushes some blush on her cheekbones.

"Okay, okay," she says.

We both put on our heels-yes our legs look great-and after grabbing our purses head downstairs. The Pulse is only two blocks away so we get there pretty quickly.

Outside, inline waiting to get in is Finn and Sam.

"Hey!" Sam waves us over. We cut in line and get a few dirty looks from a group behind us, but I shoot an even dirtier look right back. They back off immediately.

"Where's the girls?" Quinn asks.

"Rachel just texted me," Finn says. "They said they'd meet us inside."

The bouncer takes one look at Quinn and I, smiles, and lets the four of us slip right through. At the door, they ask for our IDs and give Finn, Quinn, and I a blue wristband.

We walk to the corner table in the back and sit on the couches surrounding it. There's a cool red florescent light shining on us. We decide we'll wait to get drinks until the girls get here.

Luckily we don't have to wait long, because just minutes after we sit down we see Rachel walking towards us in a small dark silver dress with straightened hair and black pumps. I take a peek at Finn and can't help but laugh at his goofy smile.

I can only see Brittany's blonde hair in what I assume is a high ponytail. Rachel, whose dragging Brittany to us by her hand, is blocking my view of the girl. When they break through a crowd of people Brittany finally appears at Rachel's side. She's wearing a light blue jumper with a black belt around her waist and black heels that cover her feet. After checking out her shoes I can't help but check out her legs. I would _kill_ for those legs. This is the first time I've seen her hair up and she somehow manages to look just as good.

"Hey!" Quinn screams, already loosing up without the help of alcohol.

"Hi!" Rachel squeals as we all rise to our feet to greet them. After feeling more comfortable from this morning, I lean in to give Brittany a hug this time.

"You look hot!" She screams into my ear above the music.

"You too," I tell her. I know she only means it in a friendly way, the same way I'd say it to Quinn or Rachel, but I'm pretty sure it makes me blush.

By the time we sit back down on the black couches Finn has already ordered a round of shots. He ordered a beer too to slip to Sam.

When the shots come we all pick them up and hold them in the air. "To your new place!"

But before we take the shots Rachel adds, "To Brittany's 21st!"

We all cheer a little and Brittany says in a softer voice, "To new friends."

Our cheers turn into "Aw"s before we take our first shot.

Sam's sipping on his beer and I lean over and whisper, "Want me to get you a shot?"

"No thanks, San," he says. "I got work tomorrow. I'm fine with this."

I nod and turn back to the table where Quinn has already ordered another round.

We take two more shots before anyone decides to dance.

Quinn, Sam, Brittany, and I head to the dance floor while Finn and Rachel stay behind to talk for a little.

The second we get to the center Rihanna's _Talk that Talk _comes on and Quinn starts jumping as she takes my hand in hers. We start dancing face to face with our hands locked as Sam sneaks up behind Brittany and they start dancing, Brittany's back to him.

Jay-z's rap comes on and Quinn knows every word. It always makes me giggle when she raps, especially when the lyrics are _I be trying to chill, bitches wanna fuck me_.

Quinn's body rubs against mine as my head lands over her shoulder. It gives me a perfect view of Brittany and Sam.

Brittany's ass shakes against Sam and he's grinning so wide. Even in a club, her dancing is mesmerizing. Maybe even more so than on stage.

Just then I see a guy walking up behind Quinn as I feel hands land on my hips from behind. I jump for a second before turning around. A tall, tan guy with blue eyes and brown hair is standing behind me with a cute smile. He raises his eyebrows a little as if he's asking me to dance. I take a look towards Quinn but catch Sam and Brittany out of the corner of my eye. Immediately, I wrap my hands over the guy's hands as I push into him. Quinn giggles as she starts dancing with the smaller, but still cute, blonde guy.

Brittany giggles at me when she sees me dancing with the guy. I smile back before she spins around and wraps her arms around Sam's neck. Her hips grind into him and I find my eyes wandering to her ass. The way she dances...

She suddenly drops lower as her arms slide down Sam's chest and her legs bend completely, putting her head below his waist.

"Ahhh!" Quinn squeals as she watches Brittany. Her sexual dancing goes perfectly with this song. For a second, I wonder if that's how she decides to dance. By the lyrics. But I decide she's just having fun.

It's like a car crash. It almost hurts to look at but for some reason I can't look away. Maybe it's because she's such a good dancer.

The guy's hands explore my hips, reminding me he's there. Brittany turns back around so she's grinding with Sam and something comes over me.

_Boy talk that talk to me all night_

I drop my hands to the floor and circle my hips and I hear Brittany and Quinn let out high pitched screams.

"San!" Quinn squeals. But I don't stop. I feel all this adrenaline and I push harder into the guy behind me. I slowly work my way up as the guys hands fall lower down my thighs and I feel his breath on my neck.

Suddenly I feel a hand tugging my hand and I look up to see Brittany's hand on mine. She walks closer to me to lean into my ear, detaching herself from Sam.

"You didn't tell me you could dance like that," she whisper yells and a smile grows on my lips, proud I could impress someone who dances like her.

She grabs my hands and, without pulling me away from the guy, pushes herself up against me. She unlinks her hand from mine to reach behind her. She grabs Sam and pulls him back up against her. He obviously obliges. Brittany's hands fall back onto mine and she links her fingers with mine. Her smooth skin feels so good against mine.

Her hands pull us closer and her bare thigh slips in between my legs and she drops down on Sam. Her leg against mine sends a chill down my spine.

We keep dancing and the more Brittany touches me the better I feel.

The song ends and Sam pulls Brittany away, whispering something in her ear. Brittany nods and turns back to Quinn and I.

"We're gonna go get a drink," she says.

Quinn and I nod and after I feel the guy behind me _growing, _I get a little irked and walk away, pulling Quinn by the hand.

"Was _not_ feeling him," I whisper in Quinn's ear.

"Sure seemed like you were," Quinn says back, probably referring to my promiscuous dancing.

I ignore her and walk back to the table.

"We're gonna get going," Finn says as he taps Sam. "Our first day of work is tomorrow."

We get up and give the guys hugs. As I sit down I watch Sam and Brittany embrace. She giggles when he whispers something into her ear and I force myself to look away.

The boys leave and we all sit back down together, sipping on some mixed drinks Rachel ordered for us.

"Thank you guys," Brittany says as we start to relax.

"For what?" Rachel asks.

"For being so nice. And making me feel apart of this," she says as she motions to all of us.

"We like you," Rachel says. "_Santana _even likes you," she says and they all laugh. My face flushes even though I know they don't mean what I think they mean. "When that happens, you know you're in."

Brittany looks over and gives me a soft smile. For a quick second, I feel like we're the only two people in this club.

"Come on," Brittany says to all of us after we take one last sip. "Let's go dance."

I smile at the thought of dancing with her again. Especially with no Sam.

I may not be the only one she asked to dance, but my hand is the only hand she grabs as we walk towards the dance floor.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Thank you so much for the reviews and sweet messages! Please let me know if you keep liking it and I'll keep writing it!

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	3. The OC

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Everyone helps Rachel and Brittany move into their new apartment_

_-Santana helps Brittany with her room where the girls have their first real conversation_

_-Sam asks Brittany out but Brittany is hesitant so Santana helps her by making it a group outing_

_-They go to Pulse where Brittany is impressed by Santana's dancing and even though she's dancing with Sam makes it a point to dance with Santana_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Ow," I groan as I slowly ease myself out of bed. My heads throbbing a little so I walk to the pantry to find some Advil.

"Quinn?" I call as I enter the kitchen. But the louder I am, the more it hurts my head.

"Quinn," I try again but it's barely above my normal volume. I give up after my third try.

I open the cabinet and take out two pills. I swallow them dry but remember I should probably be consuming liquids anyway to help my headache. I grab a blue Gatorade out of the fridge (my favorite) and try to find something I can eat without vomiting.

I don't know why my head hurts so bad, I didn't even drink that much. I mean, after the boys left, we just danced. All the girls together. It was fun. But now that I think of it, I don't really remember getting home. Or anything after dancing. The night just kind of... ends. We must have done some more shots.

I decide on toast because that's about all I can handle right now.

What I do remember, though, is dancing with Brittany. I remember that perfectly. Her body against mine. We were so close I almost felt uncomfortable that other people were there, but lucky for me Quinn and Rachel are pretty touchy, too. Brittany grinded on me the way she did to Sam, both front to front and back to front. But when Rachel stole Brittany from me, Brittany danced just as flirtatiously. I thought that maybe she had pushed a little closer and danced a little harder and touched a little more, but it could have been all in my head. Wishful thinking, maybe.

_Oh._ It's 10:42. That's why Quinn isn't answering. She must be on her way to her class.

I butter my toast a little and sit down at the counter. After I finish one slice I already feel a little better. I think part of the reason I feel so shitty is because I didn't eat too much last night.

"Ugh," I groan when I realize I left my gatorade by the toaster. I stand up and walk over to grab it. On the way there, I pass our pile of mail. I normally ignore the mail and let Quinn deal with it, but there's a handwritten note from Quinn right next to it. I grab my Gatorade and pick up Quinn's note.

_San,_

_Hope you're feeling okay. Glad you had fun last night. Thanks for making me loosen up, you were right. I have to get out more. :) I'll be back after lunch today- I have a project to work on. _

_Oh, there's a package for you that came in the mail. I left it on the kitchen table. _

_Xo,_

_Q_

I put the note down with a small smile. Partly because Quinn had fun, and partly because I have a package. I love when I get packages. They're mostly little care packages from my mom or my tía. They're usually full of things I need, like bathroom stuff or school supplies, but sometimes it's a bunch of candy and junk food.

I walk past the counter to the small table for four that we hardly ever use and find a small brown box with my name on it. I carry it over to the counter and, using my butter knife, cut the tape and open the flaps of the box.

Laying on the top layer is a note. I don't immediately recognize the handwriting. My eyes narrow as I read the note.

_San!_

_I miss you! After we got off the phone, I knew I had to send this._

I smile knowing who it is.

_You better finish season one by the time I come to visit! ;)_

_See you soon hot stuff._

_Xoxo,_

_Sugar_

I giggle as I remove one layer of unnecessary pink bubble wrap, revealing the orange DVD box labeled _The O.C. _Season one.

Just last week Sugar Motta had called to catch up. We hadn't talked since Christmas break and she decided we can never go that long without talking again. I'll admit, talking to Sugar is hilarious. She's a character. She was new when I was a senior so we weren't close right away. I wanted to spend time with the kids who were graduating with me at first. But then, once I realized most of us were going to end up in NY together, I started spending more time with the other kids, too.

When Sugar called, she told me about her new boy-toy. She said he was totally like Seth Cohen- a reference to the O.C. which I didn't pick up on. When I asked who Seth Cohen was, she flipped a shit. She demanded I watch the teen drama ASAP. But then she freaked and said "No, no. You wait. I'll take care of it."

I guess this is her taking care of it.

I make a mental note to call Sugar later and thank her, but not until I watch an episode or two.

What else am I going to do today? I'm not feeling too hot, I don't have work, and everyone else has class. I finish my last piece of toast and carry my Gatorade bottle and my new DVD back to my bedroom. It's a little chilly so I slip a grey crew neck sweatshirt on over my tank-top. I leave my leggings on and slip under my blankets, leaning up against my bed's headboard. I'm impressed I was able to successfully get changed last night if I don't remember even getting home. I take out the first disc. I stare at the blonde haired, blue eyed guy on the disc before I insert into my computer. I leave my lights off, otherwise the glare on the screen would be too big. The sun coming in from my window is enough light, especially with my temporarily sensitive eyes.

The first scene starts off in a ghetto type area and it immediately reminds me of Lima Heights Adjacent. A guy is teaching his little brother how to break into and steal a car. There's a classic police chase followed by a car crash and it lands the brothers in jail. It's clear the blonde haired kid, the one from the disc and the little brother, is the star of the show. He's supposed to be a badass, and he's doing a nice job, but I really wouldn't have cast him to play a troubled kid. He could have just as easily played a sweetheart. He sits down with this lawyer guy and I learn his names Ryan. So I guess he isn't Sugar's Seth Cohen.

It turns out Ryan has an alcoholic Mom, his Dad is in jail, and now his brother is too. His lawyer gets him out of jail but then he gets in a fight with his mom and soon enough he's kicked out. But the lawyer guy, Sandy Cohen (I'm guessing Seth's father), he gave him his number. So it's becoming pretty clear to me that he's gonna end up at the Cohen's house somehow.

I'm right, too. Soon enough he's at the Cohen household. The most _beautiful_ house I've ever seen. Classic California house. And they have Range Rovers. I _love_ Range Rovers. Maybe the show won't be that bad.

I think of Mercedes. She's in California. I miss that girl. I make another mental note to call her soon.

Then Mischa Barton shows up, pretty as ever.

"Who are you?" She says.

"Whoever you want me to be," Ryan smoothly says back. I scoff a little at the cheesy line, but I can't deny that I like it. I'm ten minutes in and I still haven't met Seth Cohen, the whole reason I'm watching the show. While Ryan and Mischa Barton are talking, my phone beeps, signaling a new text. I reach across the bed and grab my phone off the bedside table, but not without letting out an exaggerated painful moan.

No name shows up on my screen. Instead, there's a number not in my contact list. My forehead creases as I slide my thumb my iPhone to display the message.

_Is that the O.C.?_

What. The. Fuck. I drop the phone and quickly sit up, pausing the show and searching around my room. My heart speeds up and I can feel it beating against my chest. I stand up and slowly spin around my room. I'm about to walk out of my room, looking for some mutant monster ready to kill me, when I look out my window. I look down onto the street but everything is normal. I slowly bring my eyes back up and turn back around.

_Wait._

My body relaxes and I let out a huge sigh as I turn back to the window. Brittany's standing in her window, smiling huge, holding her phone up in the air.

It's her. It's Okay. Relax, I tell myself. I can't help but laugh at my major freakout. Who else would it be? And no one seriously threatening would have been _that_ excited that I was watching the O.C.

I type back _Yup. You scared me! How'd you get my number?_

After I send it I'm worried it may sound like I'm angry that she has my number. I'm not, at all. Just curious. I didn't give it to her.

Brittany smiles when she gets the text and relax again as she types back.

_Rachel gave me your and Quinn's numbers incase I needed them. I hope that's okay._

Brittany looks a little less smiley after I get her message.

_Of course it's okay!_ I type back. _You would have ended up with it at some point, I'm sure. _

To make sure she knows I'm not mad I add, _So you like the O.C.?_

Her huge grin returns when she reads my text, making me smile back.

She nods a few times and starts typing. But before I get her text I type one too.

_Come over and watch it with me._

I send the text before I can think about what I'm saying.

I don't realize how fast my heart's beating while I wait for her response. I don't know why it's making me so nervous. So what if she says no? Then I just watch it alone. No big deal.

I can tell the text went through because Brittany's face lights up and she looks up to me. She nods a few times and starts typing.

_Okay :)_

Her smiley face makes me giggle and when I look back up she's gone from her room.

I'm surprised with myself, inviting someone over. I've never been that way, just asking someone-let alone someone I barely know- to hang out. Even in high school, I really only went out of my way to ask Quinn to hang out. Otherwise, I waited for people to ask me.

But I like Brittany. I'm not sure what it is about her but I really like her. Everything about her. Including how she makes me feel.

I frantically look around, trying to decide what to tidy and if I should change and where I should meet her.

But I decide I'm being stupid. It's just Brittany. She just saw me wearing what I was wearing and it didn't look like she was changing out of her sweats. I go to the bathroom and settle for washing my face, brushing me teeth, and redoing my hair into another version of a messy bun.

I wait in the living room so when Brittany knocks I can let her in. As I sit in the recliner chair I realize I don't feel so crappy anymore.

I'm only sitting for about thirty seconds before I hear her knock. I jump right up and have to stop myself from running to the door. I quickly run my hands over my hair before I open the door.

"Hey," I say as I back up to let her in.

"Hi!" She says as she tosses her arms around my neck. I'm taken aback again by her hug but quickly let my arms fall over her back. I don't know why I'm surprised, we've hugged pretty much every time we've seen each other. But it's a good surprise.

When we pull away there's a long moment of silence where we're just staring at each other. But it's not awkward or uncomfortable.

"So this is my place," I tell her, breaking the silence. She smiles.

"I like it."

"This is the living room," I say as I point to the space. "Just like your house, that's Quinn's room and that's mine," I say pointing. But I realize she probably already knows that, since we were just communicating through my window.

I walk forward towards the kitchen.

"This is the kitchen. Want a drink?"

"Sure," she smiles. I open the fridge and let her take her pick. She pulls our a blue Gatorade, just like me. A slight smile crosses my lips.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing," I say. "How are you feeling?" I ask. "From last night."

She laughs a little. "Okay, now at least. When I woke up my head was killing me. But after class-"

"You had to dance this morning!" I cut her off.

"No, no," she laughs. "It was a critique of our performance. So we just had to listen to our teacher talk."

"I'm sure you got a good review," I say. She doesn't answer, she just shrugs, confirming what I said.

"Come on," I say as I walk towards my room.

We walk into my room and I suddenly become a little nervous. I don't have a couch or chairs in my room. It's just my bed. Then I remember Quinn and I always sit on the bed when we watch TV together. Heck, whens the last time I had a sleepover and _didn't _sleep in the same bed as the person? I quickly calm myself down.

I sit down on my bed, against the backboard, the same way I was before. Brittany doesn't hesitate and comes and sit's right next to me.

"Oh my gosh!" She squeals as she stares at the freeze-frame of the show. "You're watching the pilot!"

"Yeah," I laugh.

"Have you ever seen it before?" She asks.

"Never-"

"What!" She squeals. "Oh my gosh! We have to watch. Now. Oh my gosh."

"That's what we're doing," I laugh.

"What made you start?" she asks with a childish grin.

"My friend sent it to me. She mentioned something about her new boy being like Seth Cohen-"

"Oh my gosh, she's so lucky!"

"Yeah, well I wouldn't know. He hasn't even been in the episode yet," I say.

"Give it two minutes," she says. I laugh again because Seth Cohen will probably appear on the screen in exactly two minutes. Brittany seems like she knows this show like the back of her hand.

I pick up the laptop and put it on my lap. Brittany scoots closer to me and I tense up for a second. I realize she's just trying to get a better look at the screen. Why should it make me nervous? The way we were dancing last night is so much more contact than a little cuddling.

I'm about to press play when Brittany speaks up again.

"Well, I'm honored to be the one you lose your O.C. virginity with," she smiles. But she has a pretty serious tone.

I giggle and no doubt blush as I push play.

As predicted, Seth Cohen shows up on my screen exactly two minutes later.

"That's him," she hits me excitedly as a lanky boy with brown hair and brown eyes looks up from his video games. He's sitting cross legged on the floor.

"_That's_ him," I laugh. "That's the Seth Cohen you're all swooning about. This _dweeb!_"

"Santana!" Brittany says offended. "Jus- just watch. He grows on you. When you see him with a girl, you'll love him."

I shrug, not convinced. He's not _bad_ looking. He may even qualify as cute. But he- he's just dorky. I like dorks, I do. But I just didn't expect the guy everyone swoons over to be this nerdy character.

We watch another minute or so before I speak up.

"He named a boat after a girl he never even _spoke_ to before?" I laugh.

"It's cute!" Brittany says.

"It's creepy."

Brittany laughs and I can't help but laugh along with her.

She scoots over a little more. Her hip lightly hits against mine and I feel like an electric shock is sent through my body.

"Summer's hot, isn't she?" Brittany asks when Rachel Bilson pops on the screen

I eye Brittany out of the corner of my eye and she's looking up at me waiting for an answer.

"Yeah," I say. She is, too. Maybe not my type- or I don't know.

"She get's hotter as the seasons go on. They all do," she tells me. I nod and keep watching.

We're almost thirty minutes in when Brittany scoots down on the bed and I feel her lightly rest her head against my shoulder. My stomach flips and I fight off a smile.

Suddenly there's a fight scene and I have no clue how we got there. I realize I've been staring at Brittany for the past few minutes.

"Do you like it?" She asks hopeful when the fight is over.

"Mhm," I tell her. And I do. I've just been a little distracted.

"Hey Santana?" She says looking up at me.

"Yeah?"

"I- I just wanted to appologize-" she says with nerves.

"For what?" I say as my face contorts in confusion.

"Incase I maybe made you uncomfortable last night. With dancing. Being a dancer sometimes I dance the way I do with my dancer friends, and I- I forget it may be weird for some people. I'm really comfortable with dancing so sometimes, I don't know. I get a little touchy. Especially with a few drinks in me," she laughs. But she seems anxious.

"Brit," I say and I realize it's the first time I've ever shortened her name. "Brit," I say again, liking they way it sounds. "Don't be sorry. I was doing it back. And I get it. It's no big deal. It was fun," I tell her.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"I mean I had fun," I tell her.

"So did I," she says.

"Plus, Rachel and Quinn dance were dancing like that too," I say.

"Not like we were," she says with a light laugh.

"What?" I freeze.

"At the end of the night. We were just, I don't know. We danced a little more... I don't know. They didn't say anything," she says flustered. "They were dancing with each other. They may not have even noticed. We just, I danced with you like I danced with Sam," she explains. "Maybe even a little more intense." If Brittany's cheeks didn't get so red I wouldn't have even noticed she wasn't a hundred percent comfortable.

My face heats up and my stomach drops, but I'm not mad. The only thing I'm mad about is that I don't remember it.

"Don't worry about it," I tell her. "You looked hot," I shrug feeling bold. "Show off your skill."

"You're not so bad yourself," she smiles before looking back down at the screen and nuzzling her head closer to me. It takes everything in me to not lift her up and slip my arm around her.

We finish the episode and immediately start the next one. She was right. The more I see Seth Cohen, the more I like him. He has this nerdy appeal that works for him.

In the middle of the second episode I can't keep it in anymore. I've been thinking about it since she got here.

"Did you have fun with Sam?" I ask. Brittany doesn't seem fazed by my question because she doesn't even look up.

"Yeah," she says indifferently. "I guess."

"Do you think you're gonna hang out with him again?"

"I mean, I'm sure we'll be hanging out. But I don't know as what," she says.

"So you're not into him...like that?" I softly ask.

"Look, he's cute. He's sweet. And he's funny. But I don't feel anything... _special_. I'd totally make it a fun thing, but the vibe I'm getting from him is really serious," she shrugs. "The last thing I want to do is make him like me and then hurt him."

"Too late," I laugh a little.

"What?" she sits up, suddenly concerned.

"He already likes you."

"Then I better be careful," she says seriously as she lays her head back down.

I look down at her, smiling. I don't know many people who care that much about not hurting someone they just met.

My phone beeps, signaling another new text. My screen lights up about three feet down from me at the foot of bed. I don't want to move to get it because then Brittany's head won't be on my shoulder anymore. Who knows if she'll rest it back on me after I lay back down?

"Want me to get that?" Brittany asks as she sits up and points to my phone. I guess now that she's up...

"Uh, yeah. Thanks," I smile as she hands me my phone and immediately cuddles up to me, even closer than before. This warm heat floods my body and I almost forget to check my text.

Rachel.

_Whenever you want to talk about that thing you don't want to talk about..._

My heart stops as I slowly sit up and look out the window behind me. Rachel's standing in the window with a soft half-smile. She gives me a small nod before turning and walking out of the room.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

_I look around before I knock on her door, making sure I'm alone. If someone saw me here I'd get so much shit. _

"_Hi Santana!" Rachel Berry smiles wide as she opens her front door. _

"_Uh- hi," I say not so enthusiastically. I quickly step inside hoping no one saw me. Rachel's house is down a semi-long driveway so the chances of someone actually seeing me are slim. Plus, it's getting late. No one's really outside. It's just starting to get dark. I'm just paranoid, I guess. _

_I look around as I follow Rachel down her basement steps. Her house is really nice. Modern and cool, unlike most of the houses in Lima. The only problem is the house is like a fucking shrine to Berry. There's a billion pictures on the wall all of her. And every award she ever got is on a bookcase, including a participation ribbon from a 5th grade soccer team._

"_Geez, you'd think you fucking died," I say, examining her pictures. _

"_Yeah, well, my Dads just take a lot of pride in me and my achievements," Rachel says as she sits down on her couch. She motions for me to sit on the smaller two person couch across from her. In between is a small table with two glasses of water and a small bowl of pretzels. My face scrunches up as I look at the set up._

"_So what?" I ask sharply. "Do you want to do another duet or something?"_

"_No- well yes. I do. Good job today, by the way. We killed it," she smiles. I smile a little just because I agree. Mr. Schue did some stupid assignment this week where we had to do a duet with someone we wouldn't normally sing with. Of course, Rachel and I were the most obvious paring. We sang We Found Love by Rihanna and even I have to admit, our voices sounded good together. We sounded so good that I let Rachel hug me after. Maybe that's why she invited me here. Maybe she thinks we're friends. _

"_Then why am I here?" I bite. After our performance, Rachel asked me if I could come over after dinner. I obviously laughed and said no. She said please and that it was important. I wasn't totally convinced. She said she had something really important to talk to me about. Then I asked if it was about glee. She hesitated but said yes. I knew she was lying. I did. I could tell. But I was still really curious what the real reason was so I guess I said yes. _

"_Well," Rachel starts. "I- I wanted to talk to you about something." She suddenly becomes soft-spoken. _

"_Yeah?" I say as I adjust the way I'm sitting on the couch to get comfortable. _

"_Well I- I've noticed some things recently. First, I just wanted to make sure. Are you okay?" she asks softly._

"_What?" I spit back. "Y-yeah," I say as strongly as I can, but her question kind of takes me off guard. "Why wouldn't I be?" I ask. "And if I wasn't, why is it your place to care?" I say harshly. _

_Rachel doesn't let it effect her. I do respect that about her. I'm a total bitch to her and she rarely lets it get to her. She's confident, even at times when she shouldn't be. _

"_After you, you know, helped me that day in the bathroom, I don't know. I want to help you too," she says. "Even if we aren't great friends,"_

"_Or friends at all," I cut her off._

"_Right," she rolls her eyes. "Even if we aren't friends, the way you helped me out- you didn't have to do that, you know."_

"_I know," I mumble. _

"_But you did. And it meant a lot to me. It always will. You helped me a lot. Three other girls ignored before you came. You didn't."_

_I think back to that day. It was less than a month ago, the second week of school. I left Math to go to the bathroom because I couldn't sit in that room for another five minutes or I'd literally die of boredom. Anyway, I made it into the bathroom, and because I didn't even have to pee I walked over to the mirror to check out my hair. I heard a little sniffle coming from the stall behind me. I ignored it at first, not thinking much of it. But then I heard it again, muffled but still audible. I leaned down to peak under the stall to make sure I wasn't imagining it. In the third stall from the left I saw the white tights leading into her weird ass buckle shoes. _

"_Berry?" I called. The noise stopped and we fell silent for a moment. _

"_Berry," I said again as I crossed my arms. "I know it's you." She stayed quiet but I could hear her shuffle around a little. _

_After about a minute I tried again._

"_Berry, come out," I said softer. It worked, she came out. _

_Her face was puffy and red and it was clear she had only just stopped crying. We stared at each other for a moment, unsure of what to say._

"_What's wrong?" I finally asked. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard ._

"_F-Finn," she stuttered. It took everything in me not to immediately roll my eyes and walk out. But I didn't. She needed me. I could tell. _

_I walked closer to her until she started talking again. _

"_He- he told me he thinks we need a break. Because we've been together too long. It's only been a few months! I just- I think he's doing it because he wants to get with this girl he met over the summer. Maybe he already has-" that's when she got choked up and started crying. I did all I knew how. I hugged her. That may have been the first time we hugged. I'm pretty positive it was. She buried her head into my chest and cried. I missed the whole math class to stay in there with her. I told her that Finn could never get another girl like her, which was true, he couldn't. There's no one like Rachel Berry out there. No one. And he was a stupid boy. But mostly I just let her cry and I held her. When the period was over, she apologized about a hundred times. I told her I didn't care, I hated math. For the rest of the day, I actually smiled when I saw her. And at the end of the day I even checked up on her. She said she was feeling better. _

_That was that. I don't know why I did it. But I also don't like that it's so surprising that I did it. Rachel, no matter how annoying she can be, means well. And she's apart of that big dysfunctional glee family. She needed my help. So I helped her. _

"_Well, I don't need your help," I say to Rachel. "My life is great," I tell her. "Cheerios, Glee, good friends, and Sam," I say, reminding her of my popular boyfriend. _

"_Well, that's actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about," she says more cautious than before. _

"_Huh?" I say. _

"_Okay,"she starts with a deep breath. "I- I don't want you to freak out. Please just- just hear me out."_

_I nod. _

"_As you know, I grew up with two gay Dads," she says._

_I nod. Yeah, I know. Everyone knows. Besides the fact that she talks about it all the time, it's kind of big news in this small town. _

"_Well, growing up around that, I'm more... I see things that other people don't normally see," she says. _

_Suddenly, my heart starts pounding. _

"_Wha-"_

"_Just listen," she says. I think I would have tried to leave or say some snarky comment but I feel paralyzed. _

"_When I look to see whose into who, I- I don't look at girls to boys and boys to girls. I just look at...people," she says. _

_I'm not completely positive where she's going with this. But I have a hunch. And it's making me feel physically sick. My hands are sweaty, my heads throbbing, and I feel like I could puke. _

"_Wha-at are you saying?" I say, shaking. _

"_Santana, I- I just wanted to let you know that- if you- you wanted to talk about anything. I'm here," she says. "And accepting. And understanding."_

_My heart stops._

"_I- I don't mean to put you on the spot. I just- I want to help you like you helped me," she says rushed._

"_I'm- I'm not-" I can't even say the words. I don't know why I'm not freaking out at Rachel. _

_We sit there quietly for a minute as I stare down at my hands. Rachel may be the last person I want to have this conversation with. But weirdly, at the same time, she may be the only person I'm semi-comfortable talking about it with. _

_I look up at Rachel and I give her a small nod. That's all she needs._

_I realize how watery my eyes are. My hands are shaking too._

"_So, what about Sam?" she finally asks slowly. _

"_I- I don't know," I say. "He's a great guy. But I don't-"_

"_Feel anything," Rachel says. I nod again. _

"_Look," I say. "I don't even know if I- if I like girls," I whisper as though the words hurt to say. "I've never been in love, so how am I supposed to know for sure?"_

_Rachel nods._

"_Wait- h- how did you know?" I ask. "I'm not even positive."_

"_Well, the way you went from guy to guy, it was always- I don't know. I knew you weren't just a slut. That, with the way you.. you know, push everyone away."_

"_You mean be a bitch," I laugh a little. _

"_Yeah," she mumbles. "And I grew up around my Dads. All our family friends...gay," she smiles. "Three sets of my 'aunts' are lesbains," she laughs. I laugh a little too. _

"_Also," she starts again after our laughter subsides. "The way you- the way you look at Quinn," she says softly. _

"_What?" I snap as I jump to my feet. _

"_Santana," she says softly. "I- _

"_No," I tell her as I calm myself down. "I'm sorry," I say as I slowly sit back down. Whether Rachel knows it or not, this talk is exactly what I needed._

_I've been dealing with this for the past few years. I never understood why I never felt anything when I kissed a boy. I always just thought it was because I didn't find the right guy. So I tried again. And again. And again. Last year, I started to think maybe that the boys weren't the problem. And then, at the same time, I started noticing other things. Like the way girls skin was softer than guys. And the way they smelt. And how pretty they were. _

_But still, I've never been in love. I've never had more than a small crush. So how can I really know for sure? It's hard to deal with accepting myself when I'm not even positive._

"_I- I don't like her," I confess. "She's just-"_

"_She's beautiful," Rachel smiles. _

"_Keep it in your pants," I joke. Rachel laughs. _

"_You don't have to be gay to know Quinn's pretty."_

_I laugh, but the use of the word gay hits me a little harder than I thought it would. _

"_I just want you to know," Rachel says, "nothing is wrong with what you're feeling. And I know it's hard, but if you ever want to talk-"_

"_You better not tell anyone," I suddenly snap._

"_No! No, of course not! Santana, I just wanted you to have someone to talk to."_

_I nod. "Thanks," I tell her. "I- I needed it."_

"_Whenever you want to talk, I'm here," she smiles._

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I never took her up on that, though. That was the last day I talked about my sexuality out loud. I came to terms with it. Still, I was never really certain. After battling with myself for three years, I decided it wasn't worth it. I was just going to be open to whatever I felt, no matter how scary it was. That's why I broke up with Sam. And that's why I haven't dated anyone since then.

After that, Rachel and I sort of became... friends. I needed her. Even if we weren't talking about it. She was there for me even after I was a total bitch to her. She brought it up a few times when we were alone, but I always said I didn't want to talk about it.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asks as she sits up. She follows my eyes and looks towards her window where Rachel had appeared.

"N-nothing," I say, zoning back in. "Just Rachel saying hi," I muster up the best smile I can.

Brittany smiles as she lays her head back on my shoulder.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The italics is a flashback incase that was hard to follow.

Thank you again for all the reviews! I'm glad you're liking it so far! Let me know what you think!

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . com


	4. Everyone Has A Story

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana wakes up home alone after their night out_

_-She receives a package from Sugar with the OC in it_

_-While watching the OC in her bedroom she gets a text from Brittany and Santana invites her over to watch it_

_-Rachel see's Brittany resting her head on Santana and texts her...queuing the flashback where Rachel confronts Santana about liking girls_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Hello?" Quinn calls from the kitchen.

"In here," I yell as I pause the show.

"How do you feel?" She says with a laugh as she approaches my room. "Oh hi Brittany!" Quinn says happily surprised when she enters my room. I guess Rachel hasn't said anything to her.

"Hi!" Brittany says, not lifting her head from my shoulder.

"I'm better," I say. "Just had a headache."

"So did I," Quinn giggles. "Last night was really fun, though. We have to do it again," she smiles.

From Quinn's tone, I'm almost a hundred percent positive she didn't think anything of the way Brittany and I were dancing. But then again, she's making it seem like she was pretty drunk.

"What are you guys doing?" She asks.

"Watching the OC," Brittany grins.

"My favorite!" Quinn says like a child as she drops her bag off her shoulder and hops on the bed on the other side of me.

"How has everyone seen this but me?" I ask.

"Were you living under a rock for the entirety of middle school?" Quinn asks completely serious.

I ignore her and press play.

Quinn immediately settles in and cuddles herself up to me, even closer than Brittany did. I guess it's just because she's more comfortable with me.

I sit up a little and spread my arms out and the girls both immediately lift their heads up to allow my arms to slide under them. They both rest their heads on my chest and cuddle into me.

We watch two more episodes like this. Me holding the two blondes. I've done this before but somethings different. Good different. I don't know if they realize it, but one of them has got my heart racing a little faster and I'm holding one of them closer than the other.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Rachel wants to know if we want to go over there for some take out tonight," Quinn tells me as she walks out of the kitchen into the living room.

"Sounds good," I say, distracted by the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

"Ugh, when are you going to realize that reality TV is junk?" Quinn asks as she sits down next to me.

"I never said it _wasn't_ junk. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it."

Quinn scoffs.

"Did you finish your homework?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says. "The summer workload is a lot lighter. Wait, Don't you have work tonight?"

"Nah," I tell her. She gives me a questioning look, probably doubting that I have two night off in a row.

"How did Brittany get over here anyway?" Quinn asks after a few more minutes of TV.

The mention of Brittany's name makes my stomach pulse a little. I was a little upset when Brittany went home to Skype with her Dad, but at the same time I was a little relieved. Being with Brittany had been so easy and I didn't want to ruin it. We're still in that new friendship stage so there's plenty of room for awkward silences and moments.

"She saw me watching the OC through the window. So she texted me about it-"

"You already have her number?" Quinn asks quickly.

"She had mine," I explain. "Yours too," I add. "Rachel gave them to her."

Quinn nods and doesn't seem fazed.

"Anyway, I told her to come over because she clearly liked the show."

"I like her," Quinn says after a small pause.

"Yeah," I agree, fearful I may say something I'll regret.

The thing about living with someone is eventually you learn to ignore the other person. Not in a mean way, it's just you have to learn how to do your own thing. Otherwise, you'd go insane, being bothered by every single noise they make. But at the same time, when your roommate is your best friend, you have to remind yourself that you're not just roommates. Quinn and I managed to stay close, but there were plenty of times we let it get to us. There was like a full week and a half where we didn't say more then 'hey' to each other- but to be fair it was the week of midterms. It's almost like we forget the other one's there. Like right now. Sure we're watching TV, but we haven't said a word in like fifteen minutes.

"Remember when we hated Rachel," I laugh. Quinn smirks a little but looks over at me.

"Yeah?" She says, waiting for me to say more.

I laugh a little more. "I'm just reminiscing," I tell her. Quinn's smile grows.

"We we're awful to her," Quinn says with regret.

"You weren't that bad," I smile. "You tried to be, but your dumb heart kept getting in the way."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Plus," I add, "Rachel was just as bad."

"How did you guys even become friends?" Quinn asks with a small laugh.

"Mr. Schue's dumb assignment," I lie. "You know, the duet with someone you wouldn't normally duet with."

"Oh, right!" She recalls.

"How did _you _become friends?" I ask her.

"Once I realized I had no feelings for Finn, being a bitch seemed kind of..._stupid_. I felt really bad. I even apologized to her. She was super dramatic about it, of course," Quinn laughs. "She kept saying 'I knew we'd be friends!'"

"Classic Rachel," I say through my giggles.

"Hey, do you remember when we both had a crush on Robby Faulkner?" Quinn says suddenly sitting up and turning her body towards me.

"Yes!" I giggle. "7th grade?" I ask.

She nods. "He was so cute."

"I didn't talk to you for a full week," I remember. "I thought you guys kissed under the bleachers."

Quinn laughs. "Confession: we did kiss under the bleachers."

"Quinn!" I squeal as I slap her arm. "You bitch!" I laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she laughs. "We better get ready," she says as she stands up. "It's almost dinner time."

I follow her lead and head to my room with a smile.

This silly side of Quinn is my favorite. We both have serious, rigid personalities that sometimes take over. We both need to lighten up every once in awhile.

After a quick shower I blow-dry my hair and slip into a pair of grey capri sweatpants and a loose tangerine colored tank. I put on light makeup, grab my phone, and head out the living room to wait for Quinn.

It's not until I sit down on the couch that I realize I have a new text.

From Sam.

_Hey San what are you up to tonight?_

I stare at my phone for a minute before I decide not to answer. It's not like me, ignoring Sam. He really is one of my best friends. But I just want a girls night and I know I'll end up having to invite him. I slip the phone in between my waistband and my hip as Quinn appears, wearing leggings and a large sweater.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Mhm," I say as I follow her out the door.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The second Rachel appears at the door my stomach twists, remembering her text.

"Hello ladies," she smiles as she greets us both as casual as ever. I give her a grateful smile when I realize she isn't going to say anything to me in front of Quinn.

"Hi guys," Brittany says, not rising from the couch. I didn't realize how much I liked her hugs until I don't get one.

I quickly sit down next to her, before Rachel or Quinn are able to take the spot. I leave a considerable amount of space between us, though.

"Did you watch anymore episodes?" She asks with a smile.

"Not anymore," I tell her. I suddenly want to add I felt bad watching without her, but I stop myself.

The doorbell rings immediately after and Rachel jumps back to the door to answer it. Rachel hands the teenage boy the money and takes the large bag from him, placing it on their new coffee table.

"I got Thai food!" She sings.

"Yay!" Quinn squeals as she opens the first carton.

"Sex in the City anyone?" Rachel smiles as she turns on her TV, not actually giving us the choice.

"Sure," I say sarcastically. I do like the show, but I know my opinion doesn't _really_ matter.

Rachel hands us all plates and Brittany grabs us cups of water.

"I have wine for later," Rachel says a little too excitedly.

I pile on some rice and noodle type food. And maybe chicken? I'm not really sure what it is, but it tastes good.

"So Brittany, where did you grow up?" Quinn asks when we start eating.

"I was born in Chicago, but we moved to Baltimore when I was eleven," she says.

"I've never been to either," Quinn admits.

"Same," Rachel and I say together.

"I love them. You guys have to go sometime. I'll show you around if you want," she offers.

"Which did you like better?" I ask her.

"Well, Chicago was really cool. But I think that's because I was a child. Everything was fun there. And it has some of my more special memories," she says in a softer tone. "But Baltimore's awesome, too," she smiles. "That's where I went to high school."

"She went to the Baltimore School for the Arts," Rachel brags. "That's one of the top five performing arts high schools in the country!"

"Woah," I mutter. I knew Brittany was talented and so fun to watch, but I guess I hadn't realized just _how_ talented she was.

Brittany's already blushing before Quinn tells her "that's amazing Brittany!"

"I would have given anything to go to a school like that," Rachel says.

"Your talent spoke for itself, though," Brittany tells her. "You ended up at NYADA without all the politics. That's more impressive than anything," she smiles. I smile too. She's right. We all got where we got by working hard. Brittany, too. She definitely could have gotten here if she went to McKinley.

"Thanks," Rachel smiles.

"So why'd you move?" Quinn asks. "Job transfer?"

"Quinn," Rachel whispers as she gives her a look that almost says to stop talking.

"No-" Brittany says to Rachel. "It's okay," she says with a soft trying smile. "When I eleven my Mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer."

My heart sinks thinking about having to go through that.

"They caught it pretty late," she says in a soft voice I haven't heard her use yet. "But they were able to remove all of her breast tissue and get rid of the cancer. For the surgery she went to Baltimore at the Johns Hopkins Hospital. It's like number three in the world for cancer and my Dad really wanted her to have the best," she explains. "My grandparents watch me and my baby sister while they went to Baltimore for the surgery. But while they were there, after the surgery, they- they found a brain tumor." Her voice is strained and I feel my eyes starting to water, clearly seeing where the story is going.

I scooch over a little on the couch and place my hand on Brittany's back.

She lets out a soft breath before continuing.

"My parents loved the doctors at Johns Hopkins so much that they decided it was best if we moved there. It also gave her the best rate for survival, being with the best doctors."

She takes a sip of water. I don't think it's because she's thirsty, though. I think she's trying to buy herself time to take a breath. It's clear she's fighting off tears.

She shrugs a little before starting again. "She made it until I was fourteen," she smiles a little. But it's a sad smile.

"I'm so sorry," I say in a whisper because that's all I can manage.

"I'm so sorry, Brittany," Quinn says at the same time.

She nods. "Thank you," she says. "I didn't mean to bring down the mood," she says with a breathy laugh as she wipes what I assume is a tear about to drop from her eyelid.

"No, my fault," Quinn smiles. "Plus, you didn't bring down the mood. We're just learning about each other," she smiles.

Brittany smiles and I can tell she feels a little less guilty.

Staring at her smile I realize how much admiration I have for her. Going through that at such a young and getting a scholarship to fricking _Juilliard. _

"What about you guys?" Brittany asks looking at the three of us. "What's your story?"

I suddenly get nervous. I don't have a story that compares to the magnitude of her story. I don't want to tell her about something that doesn't seem important at all when she just told us about arguably the most important thing in her life.

"I got pregnant at 16," Quinn says with a small laugh. Not because she thinks it's funny, just because she's at the point in her life where she can openly talk about it.

Brittany's eyebrows quickly raise for a quick second before she relaxes them.

"Woah," she breaths.

"Yeah, I was..._ different_ in high school," she says.

"Did you..." Brittany asks.

"Yeah, I had her. I gave her up for adoption-"

"To my mother!" Rachel cues in dramatically.

"What?" Brittany laughs as if we're playing some sick joke on her.

"My birth mother," Rachel explains. Brittany already knows about Rachel's gay Dads. "Turns out she worked at a school right near us. Our rival school, actually. Wow we sound like a soap opera."

"Wow, that's actually pretty awesome," she smiles.

Quinn smiles back, clearly relieved and shocked by Brittany's carefree response.

"Who was the boy?" Brittany asks.

"Noah Puckerman," Quinn says. "I'm sure you'll meet him at some point," she says and I smile. I really like Quinn and Puck together. Just because I know how Quinn feels about him.

"So you guys are still...?" Brittany trails off again.

"No- no," Quinn quickly says as she shakes her head and her hands. "We're friends, though."

Brittany smiles. "You're really impressive, Quinn."

Quinn looks a little confused but she starts blushing.

"Your life just seems so together. And I don't know many 16 year old girls who would actually go through with it and be strong enough to give the baby up to better their child's life. _And _be friends with the father. And then _still_ manage to go to Columbia."

Quinn smiles pretty big now. "Thanks," she grins. Brittany just nods.

"What about you?" Brittany says turning to me. I suddenly feel anxious. And inadequate.

"Me?" I say as I try to think. "Not much," I shrug. "My life is pretty boring."

Rachel scoffs.

"Come on, San, help me clear their plates," Rachel says as she stands up taking Quinn's plate.

Grateful for an escape route, I quickly pick up Brittany's plate and follow Rachel to the kitchen. It's not until we're about halfway there that I realize I don't really want to be alone with her either.

I put the plate down in the sink and quickly try to walk out when Rachel grabs my wrist.

"You're not going to help me?" She asks with a small smile.

I sigh as I roll my eyes. I quickly pick up one of the plates and start washing it.

We stand there in silence for a moment and I can feel my nerves building up.

"Did you lik-"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I snap the second I hear her speak.

She laughs a little. "I was just gonna ask if you liked the Thai food." I feel her eyes fall over me as my face heats up.

"O-oh, sorry," I stutter as I grab a sponge.

"It's okay," she says with a smile. We fall silent again. I can feel Rachel fighting off a smile.

"Can you pass the soap?" Rachel asks. I nod as I hand her the blue bottle.

I finish the first plate and place it on the counter before grabbing the second.

"You-" Rachel starts to say the same time I start to say "I fin-".

We both stop talking and awkwardly start cleaning again.

"Look," I sigh. "You know I appreciate everything," I whisper. "You know that. You helped me more than you'll ever know." Rachel smiles but doesn't say anything.

"But," I continue. "I'm just- I don't think I'm ready to talk about anything."

"It's fine, Santana," she smiles.

"What?" I ask, shocked. Rachel's usually pushy, bossy, and says whatever she wants. But she knows this sensitive subject and she's been so respectful.

"I just sent that text because I wanted you to know I was here if you needed me."

"Oh," I say.

"What's going on in there?" Quinn calls. "Where's the wine?"

"One minute!" Rachel shouts back.

"God, after last night that girl is all into partying," I roll my eyes. Rachel laughs.

I pick up a towel off the oven rack to dry the plates while Rachel finishes washing the last plate.

"Even if I wanted to talk," I say, "I wouldn't even know what to say."

Rachel doesn't say anything. I'm looking down at the plates but I can see her smirking out of the corner of my eye.

"I mean- I don't even know how I feel so what's the point?"

"San, you don't have to-"

"So what if I have a little crush?" it blurts out of me.

The second it leave my lips both Rachel and my's mouth drops open. I guess I wanted to talk about it more than I thought.

"I-"

"You-"

"Oh my god," we both mutter.

Rachel doesn't say anything else, she just closes the gap between us and envelops me in a hug.

I accept the hug for a quick second before shoving her off of me.

"Stop that," I say as I try my best to hide a smile.

I'm attracted to Brittany. I think I've always known that. She's hot. At first I thought it was just because of the way she dances. But after seeing her sit on a couch or walk down the street the attraction didn't fade. She's cool, too. I like being around her. I want to be around her more. So yes, if that's what a crush is, then I have a crush. People get crushes everyday, though. Quinn used to see a guy in the supermarket and have a crush on him for like two weeks without even knowing his name. Rachel shouldn't be freaking out because I admitted I have a small crush.

But she is. And so am I.

Because Brittany is a girl.

Everything I've been questioning over the past few years, everything I've been feeling, it all just came together. I'm admitting that I'm into a girl the way I'm expected to be into a guy.

"Brittany?" Rachel asks as if to confirm it. I nod and I know I'm heating up.

"Don't. Say. Anything."

Rachel nods.

"Of course not! What are you going to do?" she asks.

"What do you mean what am I going to do?" I snap. "I'm a _girl, _Rachel," I remind her.

"So?" She asks.

"So, I'm a _girl_."

"Yeah I _know," _she says. "A hot, talented, girl. Who knows who Brittany likes?"

"I do. And it's not me."

"How would you know?" she asks. "You've known her for like three days."

"Even more reason we shouldn't be freaking out about this. I've known her for three days. Who knows if this is even a crush. Maybe I'm just a little infatuated with her," I say.

"That's what a crush is," Rachel says flatly. I roll my eyes as I put the clean plates away in the cabinet.

"Whatever. I don't even know what it means. Just forget about it for now," I tell her.

"Where's my wine?" Quinn screams from the living room. I hear Brittany's giggle and I can't help but giggle along.

"I won't say anything," Rachel promises as she opens a bottle of wine. The cork pops and we hear cheers from the living room.

"Good," I say as I shoot her a glare. She just laughs as I grab two of the glasses to bring to the girls.

"Hey Rachel," I say, turning back around towards her. "Thanks."

"No problem," she smiles.

"It's about time!" Quinn grumbles.

"You're like a child," I tell her. Brittany laughs a little as I hand them both their glass. Rachel follows shortly behind and hands me a glass as I sit down on the couch.

"So what did we miss?" Rachel asks.

"Well," Brittany says, "apparently you're all these amazing performers but I have _yet_ to hear you two sing."

"For the last time, I am not singing!" Quinn laughs.

"Why not?" Brittany cries. "You've seen me dance."

"That was a performance," I tell her. "If we were in a performance we'd let you hear us."

"Okay, go," she says. "Perform. You two. A duet. Right now."

"What?" I say flustered. "No."

"Come on," she says as meets her eyes with mine. They're so clear. I've never seen such blue eyes. Artie's are pretty blue, but they're a darker shade.

"I have an idea," Rachel smiles as she jumps off the couch. She disappears to her room for about two minutes.

"What are you doing?" Quinn calls.

"I'll be there in a minute!" She calls as she rummages through what I think are boxes.

Quinn's eyes me nervously. Brittany just sits there sipping her wine with a smile.

"Ta da!" Rachel sings when she walks out of her room holding a disc.

"What is that?" Quinn asks.

"_Shit,_" I say, clearly recognizing the DVD.

Rachel giggles as she walks over to her DVD player and inserts the disc.

"Sectionals," I tell Quinn. Mr. Schue had handed out one of the DVDs to all of us after we won so we'd always remember the performance and how proud he was of us or some other bullshit like that.

The music starts and a curtain opens.

"Oh my god," Quinn squeals as she buries her hands in her face.

Sam walks out and starts singing. "Now I've had the time of my life-"

"Oh my gosh is that Sam?" Brittany sits up. "He's so good!"

I look over at her and she's totally enthralled in his performance. My stomach twists into a giant knot.

"-and I've never felt this way before. And I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to you," he sings as he points to the other curtain.

Quinn steps out looking beautiful and sings, "And I've had the time of my life-"

"OH MY GOD!" Brittany screams. "You have such a pretty voice! Why did you stop singing?"

Quinn doesn't take her face out of her hands. She just opens her fingers a little in order to see through them.

Sam and Quinn run up to the stage and start dancing.

"-This could be love!" Quinn and Sam sing in unison as Quinn grabs Sam's face and brings him close. They look like they're about to kiss.

"Did you guys date too?" Brittany asks in astonishment. "Because that _cannot_ be acting," she laughs.

"For a little," Quinn says. "He was new! It was short. We just- it was a little fling," she says quickly in defense.

Brittany nods as the curtain opens and reveals the rest of us.

"There you guys are!" Brittany slaps my leg as Rachel and I appear in the background.

We watch the rest of the performance before anyone says anything.

"You guys are _so_ good!"

"You should have seen us our senior year," Rachel smiles. "Watch," she says as she points to the screen. "Our girl is about to kill it," she says as she winks at me. Brittany flashes her teeth at me before looking back at the TV.

The music starts and my backs to the audience. I turn around on the beat and start singing.

"Well sometimes I go out by myself-"

"Oh," Brittany breaths.

"And I look across the water." I start strutting around the stage and I look over towards Brittany to see her expression. She's staring at the TV me so intensely.

I look over to Rachel whose staring at Brittany and me with a big grin.

"_You're welcome," _she mouths. I shoot her a glare but I can't help but feel a little grateful.

The song ends and Brittany can't peel her eyes away from the screen.

"You're- you're incredible!" She says in a soft voice as she finally looks towards me.

"Nah," I say as confidently as I can.

"No, seriously. You have the most unique voice I've ever heard," she says seriously.

"Thanks," I tell her.

"You have to perform, Santana," she says as she grabs my forearm.

I just shrug.

"Wow, you guys are all so talented," Brittany says to us.

"You went to a performing arts high school," I laugh. "I'm sure you've seen better."

"No, all three of you would have been stars at my school," she says honestly.

"I miss glee," Quinn says with a depressed tone.

"Me too," I say as we become quiet.

"Let's do something fun!" Rachel says after a minute of nostalgia, clearly trying to get us out of our depressed state.

"Let's go out!" I say, suddenly feeling in the mood to dance after watching my younger self perform.

"Yeah!" Brittany says.

"I have class tomorrow morning," Quinn says dejected.

"Ugh, shit," Rachel says, "same."

"Then we'll go tomorrow," I smile.

Brittany sighs a little, but I'm not sure if I'm the only one who notices or not.

"Don't you have work?" Quinn asks.

"Ugh, yeah. But I'll get off at 9. We can go after?" I offer.

I think Quinn's about to agree when Rachel cuts her off.

"You guys should go," she says to Brittany and me.

Brittany looks at me expectantly.

"You can go to Mist," she suggests.

"What about you guys?" I ask.

"I'm pretty tired," Quinn says. "And I have an eight am class."

"Go," Rachel smiles. It's pretty clear what she's doing, and I appreciate it, but I still feel kind of uneasy about it.

I look towards Brittany and she's smiling at me.

"You want to?" I ask.

"I love Mist," she says softly. "And I _do_ really want to dance," she grins.

My stomach swells. Thinking of dancing with Brittany is making my heart race a little faster.

I look around at everyone's expressions.

Quinn's smiling softly. She kind of look indifferent. She knows she can't go out and I don't think she really cares what I do.

Rachel's eyebrows are arched a little and she keeps giving me these little nods as if to say _go_.

And Brittany. Her blue eyes are waiting patiently for my answer.

"Well," I smile, "we better get changed."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi everyone! Sorry it's a little shorter, but I'm planning on getting one last update up tomorrow before I go to camp. Otherwise, I won't be able to update until at least Wednesday.

Let me know what you think!

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr. Com


	5. Mommy Talk

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Quinn joins Brittany and Santana to watch to OC_

_-Santana and Quinn have a small catch up before heading over to Rachel and Brittany's for dinner_

_-They learn Brittany's mother passed away when she was 14 and Quinn confesses she was a teenage parent_

_-Rachel and Santana have a private chat where Santana admits to having a crush on Brittany_

_-Brittany wants to hear the girls sing so Rachel plays their sectionals DVD featuring Sam, Quinn, and Santana_

_-After feeling nostalgic, Santana suggests they go out. Rachel and Quinn both have early classes but Rachel insists the girls go out alone_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I take out my phone and begin typing.

_I'm outside._

I pull down my sequenced bronzed dress a little as a small gust of wind blows my hair out of my face and sends chills through my body. I'm momentarily glad my dress covers my shoulders with its tiny sleeves.

I look towards the glass doors and out walks Brittany in a loose off the shoulder blue and white patterned dress, tightened around her waist with a belt. She smiles when she sees me as a similar wind blows the bottom of her dress around. She quickly flattens it down with her arms as she giggles. I walk towards her and pull her into a hug, just the way I decide I would before I left her apartment.

On the way out, after Brittany went to her room to get dressed, Rachel pulled me aside while Quinn was taking the empty glasses to the kitchen. She wanted to remind me of the old Santana. The one that went after what she wanted. And with confidence. So that's what I decided I have to do. How else am I going to know if I actually have real feelings for Brittany or not? I have to try something. But Rachel also made it clear that I can't cross a line if I'm not completely sure Brittany is ready to cross the same line. Honestly though, I don't think I'll be able to _make_ myself cross the line.

"Hey!" She smiles.

"You look good," I tell her as casually as I can.

"So do you," she says as we start walking.

"Thanks for coming out with me," she says.

"Thanks for coming with me," I tell her. I had been the one to ask, hadn't I?

"I just- I really need this right now."

I'm not sure exactly what she means but I agree.

"Me too," I say. "After watching that performance I really just wanna dance," I tell her.

She smiles but it doesn't seem as genuine as her usual one.

"You okay?" I quickly ask.

"What? Oh yeah, I-I'm good," she quickly says as her right arm comes across her chest to stop her left arm from swinging."You're really good," she says as she looks up at me.

"Thanks," I say, deciding to take her compliment.

"No. Like _really_ good. Before, when you were talking about performing being unrealistic, I couldn't really tell you I knew you could do it. You know, because I'd never heard you sing. But after seeing that video, I just, I don't understand how you _can't_ do it."

She stops for a moment to stare at me. I think she's making sure what she's saying is okay. I soften my expression as much as possible to let her know she can continue. I want to hear what she's saying.

"Not only are you incredible, but it's clear to anyone who sees that you belong up there."

A small chill runs through my body at her words. Hearing someone believes in you is always an amazing feeling.

"You just look really happy up there," she says.

"I was," I smile, remembering how great I felt.

"Then why did you stop?" She asks softly.

"I didn't totally," I tell her. "I mean, I'm studying stuff with music."

"Is it the same?" she asks. I shake my head no. No, it's not the same. Performing on a stage, having people listening to me and watching me is the most incredible feeling in the world.

"All I know," she says, "is when I'm on stage, there's nothing like it. And I wouldn't give it up for the world." Brittany looks at me and shrugs.

"Yeah," I mutter.

She's right, though. I miss performing more than anything. I shouldn't have ever stopped. But really, what choice did I have? I have to take classes so I can actually make something of myself.

We turn the corner and see Mist's dark red sign glowing.

"Let's go have fun," she smiles, looping her arm in mine as we approach the bouncer. The touch of her skin sends a shock through my body.

The guy at the door doesn't card us, probably because he recognizes me at this point. I come here a lot.

When we get inside, the floor is shaking from the bass from some loud techno song. The place is packed. The glowing red and blue lights illuminate the way enough for us to find our way to the bar.

"Let me buy us a round," Brittany says in my ear.

"No," I tell her. "New plan. We're not buying any drinks tonight." I nod to two empty seats next to two guys. Brittany smiles as she pulls me to the seats.

We don't look at the guys but I can feel their attention turn to us the second we sit down. Brittany turns her back to them as she pretends to say something to me.

"Excuse me," the first guy says as soon as she turns. Brittany smirks at me before she turns towards the black haired man. He's average looking at best but he looks like he has a nice body.

"Can we buy you ladies a drink?" he asks. Brittany turns to me before answering.

"Sure," she smiles. The guy quickly raises his hand to get the bartenders attention.

He gets us a round of shots and we gulp them down without hesitation. After about five minutes, we've done four rounds and I'm feeling it pretty good.

I've learned the guy who I've been talking to's name is Greg and he goes to Fordham and he's going to be a senior. He's talked a lot but I haven't really been listening. I've been watching Brittany flirt it up with the other guy. She's doing so well she got him to buy her _another_ drink.

Even if I could get Greg to get me another drink, I don't think I could handle it. My visions already a little blurry.

"Santana," I feel Brittany tug my arm and I turn to face her. "I have to go to the bathroom," she says as she stands up from her stool.

"Excuse us, boys," I smile as I follow Brittany to the bathroom. I take a step forward and I feel her grab my hand. Even through all the alcohol I feel my stomach tighten a little as I lead her to the bathroom.

The instance we make it into the bathroom she lets go of my hand and darts into a stall. I decide while I'm here I might as well go, too.

"I dun wanna dance with them," Brittany slurs as we wash our hands. It's clear she's had a good amount of alcohol.

"We don't have to," I tell her. "I don't want to either."

"Good," she says as she pulls my hand. "Let's go!"

She's one of the happiest drunks I've ever seen. A total free-spirit.

She drags me out of the bathroom and all the way to the opposite side of the club, as far away from the bar as possible. She pulls me onto the dance floor as some J. Lo song blasts through the speakers. The beat drops and I feel my self jump (a little later than I probably should have because of the alcohol). I turn around and bump directly into a speaker. I look above us and see the DJ spinning.

Brittany yanks my hand and catches my free hand in hers, pulling me closer to her. She intertwines our fingers in both hands as she bends her elbows to pull us closer. Her hips start swaying to the beat and I quickly mimic her motions. Her chest presses against mine for a moment before she starts to bend her knees. She rocks down and quickly pops back up, a smile plastered on her face. The bass is beating so loudly I feel it like a pulse through my body. I quickly realize that same pulse is actually my heartbeat, shaking my entire body.

Brittany quickly turns her body around and presses her ass into me, slowly circling it against me. I let my hands slide down her sides. I decide it's the alcohol making me so bold and I'm suddenly glad I drank it. My hands slip down her sides and the second they start falling inward on her thighs Brittany spins around, wrapping her arms around my neck.

_Tease_.

Her body against mine sends a rush through me and I quickly pull out my hottest moves. I slide down her body like a pole and shake my hips side to side on my way up. The second I make it up I turn around and grind against her. Because of the size of my heels, I'm the same height as her now.

I lean back into her as I run my hands through my hair. I lean forward towards the floor and Brittany's hands land on my waist. Every time her finger moves the slightest bit on my body a small shiver shakes my body.

The song ends and I slowly rise back up and Brittany spins me around with her hands.

Feel So Close comes on and Brittany slips her leg in between my two thighs. My muscles clench but I quickly squeeze my two legs around hers as my hands slide down her sides. Her hands rest on my neck as she looks down and dances against me.

"Shit," I mumble. Brittany either doesn't hear me or she just doesn't care because she doesn't even look up.

"Brit," I say. She doesn't answer again so I say it a little louder as I squeeze her hips. She looks up with a small smile.

She turns her head sideways enough for my lips to reach her ear.

"It's the guys," I whisper into her ear. She quickly snaps her head around to see Greg and whatever his name is staring at us like meat.

The guy who bought Brittany drinks smiles and gets a little closer.

"Damn, girls," he smiles. "Is this why you ditched us?" he asks gently. "Are you guys..._together?"_ he asks with a hopeful smile.

My heart stops and I freeze up.

"Yup," Brittany quickly answers as she wraps her arms tighter around my neck. The guy's face lights up.

Brittany plants a soft kiss on my cheek and my face heats up as my stomach twitches.

"Damn," Greg says, "we always pick the wrong girls."

"Sorry," Brittany says with a shrug as she turns back towards me and continues to dance.

I quickly join in, hoping it will make the guys forget about us. But they don't. They just stare. I look away as quickly as I can and focus on Brittany, grinding up and down my body.

She pops back up to whisper in my ear. I angle my head so I can hear her. "Sorry," she says as her lips brush against my ear. "I _really_ di'n wunna dance with him." Her words are slurring together but she's easy to understand.

"Don't worry about it," I smile. "Good save." Brittany grins as she pulls her lips away from my hear. On her way down my body, her lips graze my neck for a split second and I get goosebumps all over my skin.

I decide I wish those guys would never leave. That Brittany would keep pretending we were together to keep them from dancing with her.

But when I look up they're gone. I let out a disappointed sigh.

Brittany doesn't seem to notice. Her arms slip off of me and she starts dancing right in front of me. It's hard to keep dancing when all I want to do is watch her.

"Hey," Greg taps my shoulder. I freeze up. "We just wanted to give you girls a goodbye shot. We had fun talking and we didn't want you to think we were like, mad or anything."

"Oh," I smile a little. But I'm honestly just confused. "Uh, no thanks. I've had enough. But-"

I turn around and Brittany is already taking back her shot.

"Maybe she'll want it?" Greg nods to Brittany. I take the shot from his hand and hold it out to her. Her face lights up as she quickly grabs it from my hand and downs it.

"Thanks," we both smile. They give us each a kiss on the cheek at which point I have to stop myself from gagging.

"We support you guys," Brittany's guy says with a soft smile before he leaves.

"Thank God," Brittany slurs. "I thought they'd neva luheave."

"You okay?" I ask with a small laugh as I grab her shoulders to steady her. She's starting to tip over.

"Yeah," she says as she pulls me closer to dance again. I'm not resisting, but her knee gives out and I have to grab her waist to keep her from falling.

"Hey, wanna sit down?" I ask.

"Uh, no-," she starts to say. I can see her eyes starting to get a little glassy and she quickly nods. "Y-yeah. Maybe."

I pull her over to the couch and sit her down.

"Stay here," I tell her. I walk over to the bar and grab two glasses of water.

I bring them back to her and quickly place mine on the table in front of me.

"Drink this," I say as I hand it to her. It's not going to do much but I don't want her having anymore alcohol.

She takes the drink from my hands and slowly sips the water.

"Thanks," she mumbles as she tries to place the drink on the table. I scooch closer to her so I can push her hair out of her face. Her hand falls down from the cup and lands on my knee.

All at once, Brittany tries to put her glass down but her shaky hand fails her and the glass slips right through her fingers onto my lap.

I inhale sharply as the ice water sinks right through my dress and no doubt my underwear.

"Oh muh goodness I'm suh suhry!" Brittany tries to apologize as her hands shoot onto my lap.

I giggle at her gargled words but quickly become paralyzed by her wandering hands.

"I'm suh suhry," she tries again as her hands pat around my thighs. I think she's trying to dry the water but she's forgetting a napkin or towel.

"It's okay," I smile softly. "It's fine!" I tell her again when her hands suddenly go higher. I jump to my feet as her hands fall down my bare thighs.

"I'm sorray," she says and it's suddenly clear she may cry.

"Brit," I say pulling her to her feet. "It's okay!" I try to smile. "It's just water."

She nods but refuses to look me in my eyes.

"Maybe we should get you home," I suggest. Brittany nods a little. I wrap her arm around my shoulder as if she were suffering from an ankle injury and needed help walking.

We slowly make our way out past the bar and out the door onto the streets of New York. The streets aren't busy so I figure it must be pretty late. I pull out my phone and quickly see it's 1:53 in the morning.

Brittany's weight shifts a little and I quickly stand up straighter to support her.

"I'm suhry," she mutters for about the fifth time as we turn the corner.

"Brit, it's okay," I tell her. "We gotta get you something to eat," I mutter.

We pass about four carts but they're all closed. _Ugh. _We finally pass Pulse, the other club on the street and I see a small cart open. The guy is selling soft pretzels and gatorades- clearly targeting the kids from the club.

"Hold on," I tell her as I steady her up against the wall. I run over and grab two soft pretzel and a blue gatorade, remembering that she chose that color at my house.

"Blue!" She smiles when I return.

"Yes," I giggle. "Eat this," I tell her, handing her one of the pretzels. She nods. By the time we make it to her door she's already finished the entire pretzel.

"Woah, someone was hungry," I say. "Do you have your key?" I ask her. She hands me her purse and I quickly shuffle through it until I find a tiny silver keyring. We walk into her building and I help her up the steps.

"Shh," I say as I put my finger to my lips. She nods as I unlock her door and quietly open it.

I slowly help her into her room as I hand her the other pretzel.

"Eat this, too." She complies.

"I'm sorry," she whispers clearer than before.

"It's fine," I smile. I open her drawers until I find a white T-shirt and athletic shorts. I throw it on the bed for her and she quickly stands up.

"Thanks," she says as she quickly takes her belt off and pulls her dress over her head. My eyes quickly shoot away from her as she exposes her bare skin. I turn towards her dresser and pretend like I'm looking at her furniture.

"San?" She calls. "Can you grab me a bigger shirt?" she asks. Her words a still coming out one big slur but they are definitely clearer than before.

"Uh- yeah," I say as I open her drawers and find a big blue shirt. I turn around to hand it to her.

Brittany's standing in front of me in her black shorts and black lacy bra. I almost choke on my breath when I try to inhale. My eyes fall over her perfect abs and I freeze.

"Thanks," she smiles as she takes the shirt out of my hand, clearly unaware I've been staring at her bare stomach. Brittany turns her back to me to place her shirt on the bed. She unlatches her bra and slips it off her shoulders. As much as I know I should look away, I find myself examining her bare, glowing skin as she slips the shirt over her head.

Brittany walks right out of the room without saying anything else. My head follows her out the door and I see her walk into the bathroom. I sit down on the bed for a moment while I wait for her to come back. I think I should wait to make sure she gets in bed okay.

It's another two minutes or so before I hear a thud in the living room and know Brittany's done in the bathroom.

"Sorry," she says when she makes it into her room. "I didn't see the couch."

I laugh a little because the couch is huge. "It's okay. It's a good thing Rachel is a heavy sleeper."

Brittany relaxes. As she gets closer I realize she didn't wash her makeup off. Then I realize her mascara is dried up on her cheek in a big streak.

"Brittany?" I whisper as she gets closer. "A-are you okay?"

"Yeah," she says as she keeps her eyes on the ground.

"Brit?" I repeat. She looks up at me and I can see the circles forming behind her eyes.

"I-I'm really sorry," she says, clearer than before.

"Brittany," I say as I place my hands on her shoulders. "It's okay!" I give her a soft smile.

"I don't- I don't normally get this drunk," she explains.

"We all have our nights," I tell her.

"No," she says. "I- had so much fun," she tells me with a smile.

"So did I."

"I- I don't normally drink this much," she repeats.

I just nod because I suddenly realize she's trying to tell me something. I sit her down on the bed and sit right next to her, making little circles on her back.

"I- tomorrow- no today, it's a hard day," she says as her voice cracks.

I bring my other hand to her lap and place gently it on her knee.

"I just- I drank a lot because I wanted to just have fun. But- today-" she stops and a single tear falls from her cheek.

"Brit," I murmer as I watch the water droplet slowly slither down her cheek.

"I was Skyping with my Dad because we- we were sad," she explains. I nod and give her time to continue. "T-today," she says. She's shaking now. Her leg, her hands, her back. All of her. She's trembling. "It's the 7th anniversary- of- of," she chokes as more tears slide down her cheeks. I pull her into a hug, suddenly realizing what she's trying to tell me.

"Shh," I coo as she shoves her face into my chest. She sobs violently against me and I hug her tighter to stop her trembling as much as I can.

"I-I'm sor-ry," she tries to say again.

"Shh, stop," I tell her. "Don't be sorry. It's okay."

Her arms wrap around my back and she tightens her grip around me. I'm suddenly aware that Brittany's here, in New York, totally and completely alone. She's probably been dying for someone to hold her. Let her cry. I'm sure she wishes it were her Dad right now, but I'm suddenly glad that I could be here at all to give her any sense of comfort.

She cries for a few more minutes before she finally manages, "my mom," as if to complete her thought.

"I know," I mutter. "I'm so _so _sorry," I whisper. She shakes her head into me as her choppy breath slows down.

She pulls her head off of my chest and her cheeks are covered in black. I bring my thumb to her skin and slowly wipe away as much mascara as possible.

"Ugh, I'm so sorry," she cries looking down to my dress. I look down and see a few small black streaks.

"It's okay," I smile. "It will come out. And if it doesn't, I didn't like this dress that much anyway."

Brittany laughs a little and I can't help but smile. Even in her darkest moment she manages to make me smile.

"Can you- can-" Brittany starts to whisper. "Never mind," she scoffs a little.

"No, what?" I ask.

"It's- it's nothing," she says. "I was just gonna ask if you, I don't know, could maybe stay here tonight. But it's stupid- you probably have-"

"No," I stop her. "Of course I can." Her eyes soften.

"Thanks," she smiles. "I just- I kind of want someone to be here."

"I get it," I smile. "But can I borrow some clothes?" I ask.

Brittany laughs as she points to her drawers. "Of course, go for it."

I jump to my feet and find the T-shirt Brittany decided not to wear and a pair of yellow boxer shorts. I turn towards the dresser as I unzip the dress from the side and slip it down my body. I quickly pull the shorts up my legs. As quickly as I can, I unlatch my bra and slip the white T-shirt over my head.

I turn around fully clothed to see Brittany staring at me on her bed. My face heats up at the thought of her watching me undress, even if it is just my back. But I quickly remember I did the same to her. Plus, how many times have I seen Quinn or Rachel undress. She probably didn't think anything of it.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom," I tell her. "Do you want a drink?"

She holds up her gatorade to remind me she already has one. I nod and head to the restroom.

I quickly splash water on my face to wake me up and calm me down.

After I pee and grab a sip of water from the kitchen, I return to Brittany's room and she's lying flat on her back in the dark. I think she may already be asleep so I slowly ease myself under the covers, trying not to wake her.

"You know," she whispers, causing me to jump, "you'd think I'd be okay with it after seven years."

I'm about to tell her no, I wouldn't, because it was your mother and it's not fair she was taken from you when she starts talking again.

"It just feels like it was yesterday," she says. Her voice is soft. I can hear the pain in it, but she doesn't sound like she's going to cry yet.

"I- I got this for you," I hand her a small chocolate bar. "When I'm upset, I always eat chocolate. You don't have to," I say when her fingers wrap around the bar. "I just- it makes me feel better so I thought-"

"Thank you," she says, and I can tell she's smiling. "I love chocolate."

I hear her unwrapping the bar as she continues.

"I just feel awful for Troy." I'm about to ask who Troy is when she quickly answers my question. "She didn't even get a chance to know her mother. And now she's ten, at home, living with our father. I can't even be there to give her a woman to look up to," her voice strains.

Listening to Brittany talk, it's amazing to me how one of her main concerns is someone else's pain, even when she herself is feeling an insane amount of pain. I realize I have a tears falling from my eyes now, too.

"I can guarantee she looks up to you, whether you're with her or not," I tell her in my softest voice.

I hear her take a bite of the chocolate bar.

"What was she like?" I ask.

Brittany lets out a soft laugh. "Amazing," she tells me. "You know when you meet someone and you feel like you could trust them instantly? Like you know they mean well. They wouldn't do anything to hurt you. They have a good heart, and you can just tell. So you like them right away. Even when you don't know anything about them."

"Yeah," I tell her with a smile. The kind of person Brittany is describing is herself.

"That was her. I remember, we'd be in line for coffee at Starbucks and people would just come up to her and start talking. Never small talk, though. Always heavy stuff. One time, a woman came up to us and told my mom how she lost her son only three days earlier because of a drug overdose. The same day a man told my mom in the checkout line at the food store that he just caught his wife cheating on him with his own brother," she laughs. I laugh too. "The funny thing was, my mom would talk to them so kindly and help them out or just listen, but as soon as they'd leave she'd give me this look, like _what the fuck?_ She'd smile and be like 'I don't know why they just told me that.' Then she'd just shrug."

I laugh a little more.

"And she always helped me before my dance recitals with my makeup. One time, when she was really sick, she couldn't make it to my show. I went to the hospital and she put it on for me, in her hospital bed, barely able to move her arm. And she did better than any of the other moms," Brittany says proudly.

"Then she had me put the show on for her before I left. But I needed a guy for my big duet. So she made my Dad do the routine," she laughs.

I still have tears falling down my face a little, but I'm laughing along with her.

"She cared about us more than anything," she tells me.

"I just don't get it-" she says as her voice cracks. I can tell she's about to start crying again. I quickly sit up and scoot closer to Brittany. Instantly, she sits up and lets me slip her arm under me. She curls up against me and rests her head on my chest, draping her arm across my stomach.

"I remember," she says softly, "we got the call that the surgery worked. Her breast cancer was gone. They removed all her breast tissue and it was all going to be okay. I was going to have my mom," her voice cracks. "My Dad was going to have his love." She takes a break from talking so she can catch her breath. She's shaking again and I tighten my grip on her.

Brittany bunches up the end of my T-shirt into a ball and grips it tightly in her fist.

"My Grandparents told me. We were so happy. We all cried and laughed together. And then they took me and my sister, who couldn't even walk yet, out to dinner. We went to this fancy steakhouse. I remember. I was drinking a shirley temple. I got a big order of mashed potatoes. And shrimp cocktail because it was a big celebration. I was so happy. My mom was going to live," she barely whispers. I let my arm rub up and down her back as the blonde cries into my chest.

"My Grandpa's steak had just arrived. He was about to cut into it. Then his cell phone rang. He ignored the call, you know, because we were celebrating. Immediately after the ring stopped, it started again. So he took it out to check who it was. And it was my father. He answered the phone, big smile on his lips. I remember, watching him feeling so happy-" her voice cracks.

I bring my hand up to her head and let it smooth over her hair.

"Then, his face all at once, it just- it died. His face _died_," she says through her sobs. She's quivering. I'm pretty sure I am, too.

"He hung up the phone. Whispered something to my Grandmom. Then her face- it died too," she whimpers. "He called the waiter over. Next thing I knew our food was being taken away and we were on the way home. Nobody was telling me anything. But I knew I shouldn't ask. So I just stayed quiet. My Grandmom cried the whole car ride home. Next thing I know, we're moving to Baltimore. They found a brain tumor that day. And they didn't tell me right away, but it was terminal. They always knew. It was too deep. Too big. They couldn't perform a safe surgery. For the next three years, she slowly withered away. First her hair fell out from the treatments. Then hear hearing went. Then she couldn't walk. Then her speech. It was awful," she cries. "She- she never got to see Troy grow up. At all. She missed it all," she cries.

I feel my shirt dampening as she cries into it. I try to keep my cries silent, but I know she can feel me shaking so it's pointless.

"I-I'm sorry," she tries to say. "I didn't mean to make you listen to this- I- I just met you and you probably think I'm-"

"Shh," I quiet her. "Don't be sorry. I'll listen to you whenever you need someone," I tell her.

She lifts her head up and smiles at me through her blackened eye make up.

"Thank you," she breaths. She keeps her eyes locked to mine and for a second I swear she could kiss me.

Her head lays back down on my chest and my heart sinks.

_Why would she kiss me_?

She was just staring at me like that because she was grateful I was helping her. I have to get out of my head.

I stare down at the blonde, her eyes shut as she continues to grip my shirt like her life depends on it. Even through all this pain, her face looks so...peaceful. It's almost unbelievable how someone who looked so unbelievably sexy hours ago can ever look this innocent.

"Hey Brittany?" I whisper after a few minutes of quiet.

"Hm?"

"You're Mom would be really proud of you," I tell her.

I see her lips curl up a little as her grip on my shirt loosens.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! I hope you all liked the chapter! I have a camp this week so it's going to be busy and hard to update. I'll be home Wednesday so I should be able to update by Thursday!

Thanks in advance for being patient!

Let me know what you think! Xoxo

slaves4hemo . Tumblr . Com


	6. Competition

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana and Brittany go out alone and dance the night away _

_-Brittany gets a little too drunk and Santana walks her home_

_-Brittany has a breakdown because it is the anniversary of her Mom's passing_

_-Santana comforts her and Brittany asks her to stay over night to keep her company_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The sunlight from the window wakes me earlier than I wanted. I blink a few times until the room comes into focus. It only takes a split second to remember where I am. My heart skips a beat when I see Brittany still cuddled against my chest, my arm wrapped around her.

I've never woken up holding someone or being held by someone. It's one of the most comforting feelings I've ever experienced. I wish this is how I woke up every morning, with someone there. Maybe I wouldn't always feel so alone.

I think of the pain on Brittany's face last night and her now peaceful expression is an amazing contrast. My heart hurts for her a little when I remember that today is the anniversary of her Mom's death. That means she's going to feel it all over again when she wakes up. Not that I'm sure she doesn't feel it everyday, just especially today.

Brittany's fingers move slightly against my stomach and I quickly snap my eyes shut. Maybe if she wakes up and thinks I'm asleep, she won't make me move and I can hold her a little longer.

Brittany lets our a soft hum as her head nuzzles deeper against me. Her arms adjust as her hand slides off my stomach. She slowly lifts her head up but not without a painful moan.

When it becomes clear that she isn't going to lay back down, I slowly open my eyes, pretending to come out of a deep slumber.

"Morning," I croak a little too dramatically. I don't think she notices, though. She rubs her temples as she squeezes her eyes shut.

"Good morning," she tries to smile but I can see how much effort it takes.

"How do you feel?" I ask.

She lets out a soft breathy laugh. "Not too hot."

I'm about to stand up and offer to grab her some Advil when she slowly lays her head back down on my arm. I can't help but smile. Sure, she cuddled up to me last night. But she was really drunk.

We lay in the quiet for a few minutes, my fingers softly running through her hair. I'm almost positive Brittany has fallen asleep again when she quickly sits up.

"What time is it?"

I lean over and check my phone. I quickly ignore a text from Rachel to check the time.

"10:18," I tell her.

"_Shit!" _she breaths as she pops up from the bed, clutching her forehead as she rises to her feet. "I've got class at 10:30."

"You're gonna go?" I ask, surprised. Brittany's face contorts.

"Why wouldn't I?" She asks as she searches through her drawers and starts stripping.

"I-I don't know," I stammer as I try my best not do get distracted by Brittany's bare back. "I didn't know if you felt up to it."

She Pulls a T-shirt over her head. "I can't miss class," is all she says as she pulls on tight sport leggings.

"Let me get you some Advil," I say as I hop out of bed and head to the kitchen. Brittany nods as she heads the the bathroom, clearly flustered. She's moving so fast, I guess because she's in a rush. While I'm in the kitchen I put two pieces of bread in the toaster, remembering that toast was all I could stomach after my hangover. I also fill a glass of water and place it right in front of the pills.

Just as the toaster pops Brittany walks into the kitchen.

"I made you toast," I say as I pull it out of the toaster and place it on the paper towel. "You should eat something."

Brittany smiles a little as she downs the two Advils, followed by a gulp of water.

"Thanks," she smiles bigger as she takes the toast from my hand. She takes a few bites before she takes one last gulp of water.

"I gotta go," she quickly says, checking the clock. She picks up her last piece of toast and heads for the door.

She makes it about halfway there when she stops and turns back for me.

"Wait," she says as she reaches the kitchen. "Thank you," she says in her softest voice. "For last night."

She hugs me and unlike the rest of her morning, it's not rushed. She takes her time.

"You didn't have to do any of that. But you did... so, thanks," she smiles as she turns back around towards the door before I can register to even say anything.

I'm just so grateful she remembers last night.

The door slams behind Brittany and I suddenly realize this isn't my place.

I'm about to walk back to Brittany's room to gather my stuff when I say screw it. I walk towards the pantry to look for cereal. I snatch the Reese's Puffs up the second I see them. They have to be Brittany's because Rachel sure as hell doesn't eat them. After opening three or four cabinets I find a bowl and a spoon. I grab the milk and begin pouring the cereal when I hear the door open. I smile, figuring Brittany decided to ditch class. Instead, Rachel walks into the kitchen sporting her widest grin.

I roll my eyes, knowing exactly where this is going. Rachel plops her bag down on the counter and sits down next to me.

"Where's Brittany?" She smiles.

"Class," I say flatly.

I feel Rachel's eyes fall over me.

"So last night..." Rachel trails off with a smile.

"Not what you think," I say, shoveling the cereal into my mouth. Rachel's forehead creases as she examines me.

"Where'd you go? Pulse?"

"Mist," I correct her.

"Oh! Did you dance?" She asks.

"Mhm."

"Did you have fun?" She asks, clearly confused by my blank expression.

"Mhm," I say again.

"You sure looked like it this morning-"

"Rachel!" I snap. I try to shoot her a glare but her cheesy smile makes it hard to not show some teeth.

"Look, I told you, it's not what it looks like," I say in my softer voice. "Wait, how did you? Nevermind," I shake it off, figuring Rachel probably went in to check on Brittany. Or she saw my bag in the living room and decided to take a peak. "Last night- today- today's the anniversary," I say softly. I'm about to finish the sentence when Rachel interrupts.

"Oh my gosh," she breaths. "Is it the 23rd already?"

"Uh, yeah," I mutter.

"I totally forgot," Rachel says, placing her forehead in her hands. "I thought it was next week."

I shake my head. I hadn't realized how close Brittany and Rachel had gotten in such a short amount of time. Rachel knew about Brittany's Mom, and she even knew the date. I guess they are roommates, though.

"She got pretty drunk," I explain. "So I brought her home. And she kind of...broke down." I take another spoonful. "She needed someone," I explain. "And she asked if I could stay over. So I did."

Rachel's smile changes. It's not as giddy. It's more of a 'you're a good person' smile she sometimes gives me.

"We should do something for her," I say as I carry my bowl to the sink. "Something fun. Tonight. To take her mind off of it. You know, if she wants to do something."

Rachel nods with a smile. "I'll talk to her and try to set something up. I'll text you?"

"Sounds good," I say as I walk towards Brittany's room to get my stuff.

I decide I can give Brittany her clothes back later so I just pick up my dress and fold it underneath my arm. I grab my phone off the table and remember I had a text from Rachel. It's probably not important now but I slide it open anyway.

I chuckle as a picture of Rachel cheesing big time pops up on my iPhone. I click the image to make it bigger, unsure of why she sent it. Behind Rachel, Brittany and I are asleep. Brittany's head on my chest, my arm around her body. Rachel must have snuck in this morning and snapped the picture from the floor.

Under the picture is a little message.

_Just a crush, huh? ;)_

"Berry!" I scream in my loudest voice through the house. I hear her giggle as her bedroom door slams behind her.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Brittany unlocked her apartment door, still fighting a headache from last night's outing and trying her best to keep her muscles from collapsing after a long dance rehearsal.

"Hi Brit," Rachel smiled as she stood up from the living room couch. It looked as though she had been waiting for Brittany to arrive.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Brittany and it became clear that she was aware of the meaning of today.

"Hey," Brittany whispered.

"How was class?" Rachel asked as she sat back down on the sofa.

"Tiring," Brittany said. "Probably didn't help I was hungover," she added with a breathy laugh.

"So you had fun?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"Yeah, a lot of fun," Brittany answered with a genuine smile. "But I feel kind of bad," Brittany confessed as she plopped herself down on the couch next to Rachel.

"For what?"

"I kind of ruined Santana's night," Brittany told her. "First I got really drunk. Then I had a breakdown. I don't really remember how it started. But I know I ended up crying a whole lot."

"I don't think you ruined her night," Rachel told her.

"I just- she didn't have to stay with me."

"Well did you want her too?" Rachel asked. Brittany fell silent for a moment, probably contemplating what to say.

"Yeah," she admitted weakly. Rachel smiled. "I needed someone. And she- she made me feel a lot better. She let me talk about my Mom. In a good way. I don't get to do that a lot," Brittany smiled.

"She let me cuddle, too. I missed that," she admitted. "Jeremy was my cuddle buddy."

"Then I'm glad she stayed."

"Me too," Brittany said before a pause. "I just, I don't really get it. I mean I'm just not used to it."

"Used to what?" Rachel asked.

"People caring," Brittany told her in a soft voice. Rachel's expression changed to a softer one. "All of you," Brittany continued, "you've all been so welcoming. I'm used to only having Jeremy care. And my family. But you were so kind. Then you opened up an invitation to live with you. You've been so nice and such a great friend. And Quinn, she's so sweet. Helping us move in. Just the way she talks to me, it's like we've always been friends. And Santana. I just met her and she did that for me last night. I've known some girls for years that wouldn't have done that. It's just, it's unbelievable."

"You deserve people caring," Rachel shrugged.

"Thanks," Brittany said as she stood up to head into the shower. "for letting me live her. For being my friend. Just thanks."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Where have you been?" Quinn appears as I walk out of the bathroom in a towel.

Quinn was in her room when I got home this morning so I just hoped in the shower, assuming she was busy doing homework or something.

"I spent the night at Brittany and Rachel's," I tell her.

"Wasted?" Quinn asks with a smirk.

"Not me," I say with a small laugh. "We just got back late," I shrug. "She was really drunk. So I helped her upstairs. Then she- she kind of had a break down," I explain softly.

Normally I wouldn't tell anyone about Brittany crying. That's Brittany's personal business and I already feel guilty telling Rachel and Quinn. But if I expect them to do something with her tonight to take her mind off of it, then she's going to have to find out eventually.

Quinn waits for me to finish.

"Today's the anniversary of her mom's, you know," I say, trying to avoid getting choked up. Thinking about it only makes me think of seeing a fourteen year old Brittany losing her mother. It also makes me think of losing my mother, especially that young. Yeah, I had my own shit going on at that age, but no matter what happened to me my parents are both still here. I can't even imagine.

"Oh, wow," Quinn breaths.

"Yeah," I say as I wring some water out of my hair. "We're trying to maybe do something tonight to take her mind off of it. Are you free?"

"Of course!" Quinn says.

That's one thing I love about Quinn. Even if she had the most important interview of her life, if a friend needed her, she'd drop everything. She's probably the most loyal person I've ever known.

"Cool," I say. "Now I know you're probably enjoying the view and all but I gotta put some clothes on," I joke as I head to my room. Quinn rolls her eyes before stopping me.

"Wait, don't you have work?"

_Shit_. Work. I forgot about work. I can't let Quinn know that, though. Eventually she's gonna get sick of keeping me in check.

"Uh, yeah," I say as cooly as I can. "I get off at nine. I'll just join in whatever it is a little late."

Quinn nods with a little smirk. Is it that obvious I forgot?

"Shut up," I mutter as I turn towards my room.

I text Rachel as soon as I get to my room so I don't forget to later.

_I have work till 9. I'll meet up with you guys after. _

I start getting dressed for work in my dumb ass uniform: high-waisted black work pants and a tight uncomfortable white blouse with a stupid scarf-type tie.

_Just stop by our place when you're done. See ya then :)_

By the time I blow dry my hair and do my make up, it's time to leave. I quickly pack a bag with jean shorts and a black V-neck to slip into after work so I can go right to see Brittany.

"Quinn!" I call.

"In here," she says, and I walk into her room.

"I'm leaving, but did you talk to Rachel?"

"Mhm, I'm gonna head over there in about an hour and a half. Any alcohol requests?"

"I'll take anything," I tell her. "Make sure there's food, though. I'm gonna be starving."

Quinn agrees and I head out onto the streets.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"You can leave now," Henri tells me in his best fake accent. His parents own the restaurant. They grew up in France and have pretty thick accents but Henri grew up in New York. He likes to pretend like he has an accent too so the workers take him more seriously.

"Thanks," I say as I head to the bathroom to get changed.

"You sure you're not free tonight?" He asks with a hopeful smile.

"Sorry, I have plans," I remind him for the fourth time. I think Henri's a nice guy, but since the first week I got here he hasn't gone a day without hitting on me. It was flattering at first, but now it's just kind of creepy.

I quickly get changed and check the clock. 9:02. I made good time. Henri must have let me off a little early. Usually I have to stay to help clean up but there are a few extra waiters tonight.

As I'm walking out, Henri calls out "Have fun!"

"Thanks," I try to smile as I close the door behind me.

I'm only two blocks from their apartment, thank God. Work was so slow. Even when it's fast it sucks. I spent the whole time thinking about what I was missing. What if Brittany was upset and needed comforting? Something in me really wanted _me _to be the one to do it, just like I had last night. What if they're watching my favorite movie and I'm missing it? I just hate being the only one not there.

I finally make it to their building and climb up their stairs. My eyes narrow a little when I hear an old Rihanna CD blasting. It sounds like they're having a fucking party.

I knock on the door but no one hears me. I knock once more before I decide to just go in.

"Santana!" Brittany and Quinn scream in unison as I open the door. They both jump up and envelop me in a group hug.

"H-hi," I say, smelling the alcohol on their breaths.

I look over to the couch, and next to Rachel is Finn, smiling and waving. Next to the space Brittany had just been in is Sam, smiling even wider. I smile back, genuinely happy to see him. I felt guilty for not texting him back last night, but I needed a girls night. I could have just told him that, though. He always understood those things. I don't know why I had to ignore him.

But as Brittany returns to her seat next to Sam, I get a little less excited to see him. His arm wraps behind her. I'm relieved when it lands on the couch and not her shoulder.

"How was work?" Brittany quickly asks.

"Boring. Do you guys have any food?" I ask as my stomach grumbles. Rachel pops right up and walks towards the kitchen. I follow behind her, taking one last look at Quinn and Brittany, giggling like school children on the sofa.

"Looks like they're having fun," I point out. Rachel just laughs as she pulls open her oven.

"They're all pretty drunk," she tells me as she puts on oven mitts.

"Sam and Finn?" I ask, even though I already know the answer. Finn had his goofy smile permanently plastered on his lips and I could see it in Sam's eyes.

"Yup," she laughs.

"How's Brittany?" I ask as Rachel pulls two pizza slices out of the oven and places them on a plate for me.

"Well, she's better now. She Skyped with her Dad and sister and I think that was hard, not being with them. I heard her crying afterwards so I knocked on her door. She tried to stop for me. I sat down next to her and told her to cry and maybe it would help. So she cuddled up to me and cried, eventually falling asleep on me. And she woke up ready to party," Rachel smiles.

I'm a little upset that I couldn't have been there to hold Brittany again, but I'm glad Rachel could be there for her.

"Good," I say as I sit down at the table and start devouring my first slice. Rachel grabs me a beer and sits beside me.

"She asked about you, you know," she smiles.

I don't say anything because I don't want to seem to anxious. But I think she can tell. My eyes widen a little as I take another bite.

"As soon as Quinn closed the door behind her and you didn't walk in, Brittany turned to me and asked, 'Where's Santana?'"

My lips curl up a little as I shove more pizza in my face. The quicker I eat this, the sooner I can get back out there to Brittany.

"She was really glad you stayed last night," Rachel tells me. Probably not as glad as I was... "She liked cuddling too," Rachel smiles smugly.

"Why aren't you drunk?" I ask as I take a sip of beer, trying to divert the subject away from me.

"You know," is all she says as she takes the beer out of my hand for a sip. I eye her, trying to figure it out. "Finn," she finally says like I should have already known.

"Oh," I breath, suddenly understanding. She doesn't want to get too drunk because she doesn't want to do something with Finn she'll regret. Rachel is what I like to call the 'no regrets' drunk. She does whatever the fuck she wants and doesn't think about any of the consequences. It's a nice change from the normally anal Rachel. The problem is, though, that she always wakes up with regrets. Plenty of them, too. So she's not drinking a lot. I get it.

"Ooh!" we hear Quinn scream from the living room.

"Does she know you have neighbors?" I ask as I quickly finish my last crust.

Rachel scoffs as she takes my plate and walks it to the sink.

"Who knew this summer would be Quinn's time to let loose," she jokes.

We walk out to the group together hoping to find what Quinn was screaming about.

And we do.

In the middle of the room, Brittany's doing a booty pop. My jaw drops. I look over to Rachel and see her mouth hanging open too.

"Again!" Quinn screams, and Brittany obliges, arching her back and repeatedly popping her ass.

_So. Hot. _

Brittany and Quinn are giggling, but Sam and Finn, as well as Rachel and I, are staring in awe.

"Here," Rachel says, handing me a shot.

"Thanks," I mutter as I down the shot. Lord knows I needed that.

Brittany sits back down on the couch next to Sam and her hand lands on his knee. I don't even think it was intentional, but I can't help but notice it. I sit down on the other couch, next to Quinn.

"Brittany, that was hot!" Quinn laughs.

"Nah," she says as she waves her hand.

"No, really," Sam laughs.

"We could have used you in Glee," Finn says.

"Yeah!" Quinn cuts in. "Mike Chang and Brittany, could you imagine?"

"I wish I got to be in Glee. You guys are all amazing, I would have loved to watch you," Brittany smiles. "And you guys made such good friends."

"Yeah, but you missed all the drama that came with it," I tell her as I roll my eyes.

"You guys had drama?" Brittany asks in disbelief. We all burst out laughing.

"Half the time we hated each other and the other half we were dating each other," I tell her.

"Really?" Brittany asks, shocked.

Finn starts laughing. "I've hooked up with all three of them," he says pointing to us.

"Don't remind me," I say.

"Wait, so have I!" Sam, jokes.

"Rachel?" Quinn asks.

"That party. Spin the bottle."

"Ohh," we both remember in unison.

"Well whose the best?" Brittany asks the boys. Everyone's heads turn to her.

"What?" Sam asks.

"Whose the best kisser?"

They both laugh a little but then they realize she's serious. Finn and Sam eye each other.

"If we take out feelings? Just purely on technique?" Sam asks Brittany.

"Mhm," she nods.

The boys look at each other again, and at the same time they nod.

"Santana," they admit in unison.

I tilt my head to the side with a little victory smirk as Quinn and Rachel protest in anger.

"What!" Rachel squeals as she hits Finn's arms.

"Hey!" Finn says. "What? She's good."

I have been told I'm a good kisser. I think it's my lips.

I don't realize Brittany's staring at me until I look up to Sam and Quinn arguing. I don't know how long she's been staring, but she doesn't stop.

"Sorry," Sam tells Quinn. "But she's like the best," he shrugs. Quinn rolls her eyes with a laugh but sits back and relaxes.

"She can't be _that_ good," Quinn says as the noise settles down.

"Try it yourself!" Sam tells her as he throws his arms up in the air.

I turn to Quinn and pretend to pucker my lips, knowing she won't go for it.

"No!" Quinn squeals as she folds her arm across her chest.

"I will," Brittany quickly says. My heart stops. Quinn, Sam, and Finn all shriek. Brittany's smirking at me. I look over to Rachel who looks just as dumbfounded as I do. "Everyone's talking you up," Brittany smiles. "Just trying to see what the hypes about," she shrugs nonchalantly. Like this is no big deal. Like she'd kiss anyone in this position.

Brittany stands up and raises her eyebrows at me.

"Do it!" The boys yell. Quinn starts clapping.

I nod, giving Brittany permission as she gets closer. My heart starts pounding and my stomach fills with more nerves than I can ever remember. I stay seated, mostly because I'm worried my knees will give out if I stand up. Brittany's hands land on my knees as she lowers herself down to the floor. I slowly lean forward towards the edge of the couch.

Her hand slowly lifts off my knee and lands on the back of my neck. She leans forward, smile still on her lips. The closer she gets the more nervous I get I won't be able to perform. I'm supposed to be showing her how I'm the best kisser and I can't even control my hands right now, let alone my lips.

I hear Quinn squeal and I quickly close my eyes, waiting for Brittany's lips to hit mine. I feel her smile against me before she quickly closes her lips around my larger bottom one. My body freezes as my heart swells three sizes in my chest. My stomach fills with what I assume are butterflies as my hands shake and I suddenly feel as light as air. Our lips stay connected for a long moment before Brittany's hand pulls my head forward a little, deepening the kiss. I suddenly realize I'm supposed to be kissing her and I manage to pull my hand off the couch and bring it to her face. I rest it on her cheek as I separate our lips for a quick moment before I re-close the gap. Her lips are so soft. She softly massages my lip before she lets her tongue glide over my lips. An electric shock hits me. I part my lips enough to allow her in as I try to keep my mouth from trembling. Our tongues touch for a second before she retracts hers. She pulls away the slightest bit before giving me one last, long kiss. She presses so gently and I swear I can feel myself melting.

Then she pulls away, smiling as big as before.

I'm breathing harder than I'd like to admit. My pulse is going crazy.

"Damn," Sam breaths. Exactly what I was thinking.

Brittany grins as she turns back around to the group.

"You're right," she smiles. "She's good."

"Ah!" Quinn screams.

The truth is, Brittany's a much better kisser than me. The best I've ever kissed. The reason I got so good was because I'd never felt anything. All I could focus on _was_ my technique.

"I don't know," Sam breaths. "You looked pretty good," he says to her.

Sam looks at me for confirmation. I swallow the lump in my throat as I try to catch my breath.

"Y-yeah," I steady my voice. "She's good."

Sam turns to Brittany with a small smirk.

"You gonna leave me out?" He asks. Without missing a beat, Brittany leans in and plants her lips to his.

Just like that, the air I was just fighting so hard to get back is gone. My stomach drops and everything I just felt vanishes.

She kisses him like it's nothing. Like kissing me was nothing.

Brittany is smiling as Sam's strong hands pull her face closer to his. He's right, she does look good. Her lips are either softly closing around his or they're curling up into a smile. They only kiss for about ten seconds, but it's long enough to annoy me.

Brittany's the one that breaks the kiss. She pulls away with a small smile and Sam's just as out of breath as I was, maybe even more. _And _he's drunk.

Finn, Rachel, Quinn, and I all look at Sam, waiting for him to say something.

Is this what I looked like after we kissed? Gosh, I hope not.

Sam's breathless expression finally changes into a smirk.

"Woah," he says under his breath. Then he turns to me. "Looks like you got some competition."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Thanks for all the reviews! It means a lot and I love them! I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think.

Let me know if you guys like having the extra narrator to show moments where Santana isn't there.

Xoxo

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . Com


	7. But You Kiss Me When You're Drunk

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana wakes up holding Brittany_

_-It's the anniversary of B's Mom's passing so Santana sets up something to take Brit's mind off of it_

_-Santana has work first so she shows up late and everyone is drunk but Rachel_

_-Sam and Finn discovered they kissed all the girls and decide that Santana is the best kisser in the room_

_-The girls protest and Sam tells them to try themselves but Brittany is the only one to take them up on the offer_

_-Santana is blown away by the kiss but right after Brittany kisses Sam after he feels left out_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Looks like you got some competition," Sam says with a smirk. Quinn squeals again and Brittany buries her smiling face into her hands.

But then it's over. They're done talking about kissing. Just like that. I don't know if I blurred everything out or if they actually moved on from it that quickly. Finn, Sam, and Quinn are all somehow talking about Kurt and his planned visit back to the city with Blaine.

I can't tell if my hearts even beating anymore. The air feels so thick and I'm having trouble breathing.

I think about excusing myself but it seems pointless, considering no one is clearheaded and I'm not even sure I can talk.

I slowly stand up and walk through the kitchen. I subconsciously walk towards the place where my apartment has a balcony. The apartments are clearly made my the same people because their apartment has a door in the same spot that leads to the same type of balcony. I quietly open the door and step out and breath in the fresh air.

Most people say New York doesn't have fresh air, but something about New York air is fresher to me than any other air I've ever breathed. Maybe it's because I'm finally on my own and independent.

I step further out and rest on the railing while I catch my breath. Their balcony is a lot bigger than ours. Well, maybe not _that_ much bigger, but they don't have any chairs or tables out here yet like we do so there's actually room to walk around.

The second I start thinking about what just happened I start pacing back and forth. It's like I can't stop moving. I'm fidgeting and getting more anxious than normal.

I just kissed a girl. That's what I _should_ be freaking out about. Sure, it could easily be made out to be drunken fun. But that's not what it was. For me, at least. I should be freaking out because I just kissed my first girl.

But I'm not. It felt...right. It felt like it was supposed to feel the past eight years. No, it felt better than that. It felt _perfect._ That's why I'm freaking out. Not because it was a girl that made me feel that way. But because I actually _felt_ anything at all.

I felt the way you read about. The way you dream of feeling when you grow up. The way I never thought I'd ever feel.

Part of me thinks maybe it's just because she's the first girl I've ever kissed and I could just feel that way because I like kissing girls. But I know that's not true. Not even close.

Why am I really freaking out? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that right after I felt one of the most incredible feelings in the world, I felt one of the shittiest. She kissed Sam. It's not that I'm worried she's into Sam. I mean, maybe I am a little worried. But it's the fact that it made our kiss seem like _nothing_. Of course it hurt, seeing her kiss someone else. But it hurt the most thinking that what I felt she didn't.

My hands run through my hair as I continue pacing back and forth.

"San?" A voice whispers as I quickly come to a halt and try to keep calm. "Santana," Rachel whispers in relief when she finds me.

When I realize it's just Rachel, I resume my pacing.

"You okay?" she asks as she leans against the railing, a perfect position to watch me go insane.

"What do you think?" I bite. Thank God Rachel doesn't take my bitchy comments seriously or I'd have no one to talk to.

Rachel lets me walk up and back a few times before she finally speaks up.

"How was it?" she asks softly.

I scoff at first, but once I start thinking about the kiss my pacing stops. I lean against the wall and look up at Rachel's soft expression.

"Amazing," I whisper. Rachel smiles at me, but not her giddy I-wanna-tease-you-about-your-crush smile. It's a genuine, happy smile.

My face starts to heat up.

"But now I feel like shit," I confess.

"Because of Sam?" Rachel asks.

"No," I tell her. "Well, yeah, a little." Now that she brings Sam up I guess he's part of the reason I feel like shit. But I don't think that's what's bothering me the most.

"It's just, I know that kiss wasn't supposed to be a _kiss. _But it sure as hell felt like it to me," I admit. "But she's drunk. She didn't feel anything-"

"How do you know?" Rachel asks. What does she mean how do I know? It's clear.

"She kissed Sam right after me!" I whisper yell. "Yeah it hurt watching her kiss him, but what hurt more was that it totally reminded me of the validity of _our_ kiss. There wasn't any!"

"San," Rachel breaths as she tries to come closer to me. I turn away from her and begin pacing again.

"I can't be mad at her," I tell her. "She's drunk! And she doesn't know I- I- I like _girls_," I whisper.

"But you know what they say," Rachel says with a slight smile. "Drunk actions are sober thoughts."

"What?" I say. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Santana, think about it. She _volunteered_ to kiss you. She practically _begged!_ Drunk or not, she still wanted to kiss you. And if she wanted to kiss _anybody_ she could have just kissed Sam without asking," she says.

I don't know if this is what I need. False hope.

"Rachel," I stop her. "You don't have to do this," I say completely broken. Rachel hears the change in my tone and envelops me in a hug. I let her, too.

"I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't think there was some truth to it," she says as she pulls away from the hug, leaving her hands on my shoulders. "The way she was looking at you, before the kiss, she _wanted_ to kiss you. I don't care if she was drunk, she still wanted to. And after...let's just say you clearly are a good kisser," she smiles.

I let out a breathy laugh.

"Santana?" a voice breaks our attention as our heads snap towards the sliding glass door. Brittany's head is peaking out. All the nerves Rachel just managed to subdue return the second I see her face.

Rachel raises her eyebrows at me and gives me a tight lipped smile.

"I'll leave you two alone," Rachel says just loud enough for me to hear. I give her a pleading look, begging her to stay. But then she's gone, leaving Brittany and me alone in the brisk New York air.

I give her a weak smile as I walk back over to the balcony railing and I lean over, looking out at as much of the city as I can see. Most of it's just other apartments, but through some small cracks you can actually see the city all lit up.

"I was looking for you," Brittany says as she leans onto the railing right next to me.

"Here I am," I tell her with little emotion.

"Why'd you come out here?" She asks.

"Just needed some air," I shrug.

"It's nice," she says. "I haven't been out here yet."

I let out a soft hum to acknowledge her. For someone who seemed so drunk minutes ago, her speech is actually pretty clear. But maybe it's just because I saw her at her absolute worst last night.

"Are you okay?" She finally asks what she's clearly been waiting to.

"Mhm," I simply say.

"I just- are you mad? At me?" she asks weakly. I don't answer right away because I'm trying to pick my words carefully. "I didn't mean to- if you didn't want to- I didn't even ask, I should have asked you. I just didn't mean to-"

"What?" I ask. "Didn't mean to what?"

"I didn't ask you if you wanted to kiss, I didn't mean to do that. If you didn't want-"

"Brit," I breath. "I nodded. I would have stopped you if I-It was okay."

I see her visibly relax and it makes me relax a little too.

"Look, I actually came out here to say thank you," she confesses. "Rachel told me it was your idea to set this up to take my mind off of things."

Brittany stops talking until I look up at her. I finally look away from the skyline and look up at her. Her blue eyes are so soft as she looks down at me.

"First last night, and now tonight. Nobody's ever done such sweet things for me," she said softly. "Thank you," she says again.

How can I be mad at her after that? She looks so vulnerable and tonight is probably the hardest day of the year for her. And here I am feeling sorry for myself.

"Come here," I say as I pull her into a hug. She burrows her head into my neck and her warm breath escapes onto my bare skin. Her hands softly rub against my back as we hold our hug.

She pulls away and smiles.

"I'm glad you came," she says. "I was upset when you didn't show up with Quinn."

"Stupid work," I say.

"Have you had enough air?" She asks and I notice she's shivering. I guess the air is a little brisk.

"Yeah," I say, as I start to follow her back inside.

She stops when her hand lands on the handle and turns to face me.

"By the way, the boys were right," she says with a smug look. She turns back to the door and begins to slide it open. Once she's halfway in, she turns to me once more.

"You know, Sam may think I'm giving you some competition for best kisser," she whispers. "But he isn't much competition for you," she smirks.

My stomach fills with a wave of butterflies as Brittany walks into her apartment.

I've kissed Sam before, and let me tell you, he knows how to work them guppy lips. But that only makes me smile bigger, knowing how good Brittany had to have thought I was.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

My hand slaps onto the bedside table as I search for the snooze button on my phone. The noise doesn't stop and the more I awaken I realize it's not my alarm sounding.

"Mmm," I moan as I roll over and grab my phone.

"Hello?" I mutter with a groggy voice.

"Santana," the fake French accent rings through the phone. Shit. I quickly sit up and check the clock. 9:02. What the fuck? I don't have to be in until 11:30.

"I'm not late," I state defensively.

"No, no," he says.

"Then why are you waking me up at 9 in the morning?" I bark.

"Look, I have a proposition. You're supposed to work from 11:30 to 1:30, right?"

"Mhm," I say. On Fridays Per Se is only open for lunch, thank God.

"You can either come to work until 1:30, with me-"

"What's the other option," I quickly ask.

"You can drive to our supplier and pick up our bread. Their delivery truck had an accident and couldn't make it. If you leave by ten o'clock, you'll be back here a little before noon. Then you can go home. You'd be done an hour and a half earlier than you would if you came into work. And we'll pay for your gas. And you'll get paid for the normal shift," Henri begs.

"Fine," I say.

"Ah Great! Merci! I will text you the address as soon as my Dad gives it to me. See you later. Thanks, Santana."

"Yup," I hang up.

_Ugh_. I hate driving. Especially in the city. My Dad didn't think I would need a car here because you can walk everywhere, but my Mom thought I should have one for emergencies. I think she just wanted to disagree with him for the sake of disagreeing, though. But she couldn't afford to get me anything great, so she got me this absolute piece of shit. Look, I don't care what people think about me or my car. But it's just horrible to drive a small little car that could break down at any given moment. It's a 1990 Honda, which would be fine and all if it hadn't been driven into the ground.

After I get dressed and ready to go out, I head to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. I see Quinn's purse laid out on the table and remember last night. Quinn's definitely gonna be feeling last night when she wakes up. I laugh a little, remembering how hard it was to get her in bed.

After Brittany and I had come inside, Quinn was having trouble staying awake. It was hilarious. She kept dozing off and quickly catching herself. It looked like she was about to fall asleep and kept having that dreamlike feeling where you think you're falling and you quickly jolt awake. We decided it was time I take her home. The walk home was interesting enough, but she managed to make it back by looping her arm through mine. But once we got inside our place, Quinn refused to go to bed. She couldn't stay awake, but she refused to lay down. I sat with her in the kitchen listening to her ramble about how she wants to play mini golf until she finally fell asleep with her head on the table. I tried to carry her to her room, but as soon as I lifted her she started walking aimlessly and I directed her to her bed.

I decide to make some coffee, both for me and for Quinn's hangover. I quickly scribble a note down while I make the pot.

_Q- Here's some coffee for that killer hangover I'm sure you're feeling. I get off work at 12 today. If you're done class maybe we can meet up for lunch. Text me._

_-S_

I quickly pour some of the coffee into a to go mug and grab my keys as I head to the parking garage down the block.

I search for Henri's text while the guy pulls my car around. I quickly copy and paste the address into my MapQuest app. Almost an hour away. Great. I almost rather have gone to work.

"Thanks," I say when the man steps out of my car.

I'm not even sure what color my car originally was. It's been chipped so much. The main color looks kind of silvery, but there's white, blue, and black spots all over it.

I slide into the front seat and groan when I feel how hot it is. I try to turn the air on until I remember the air conditioner is broken.

"Ugh," I say as I manually roll down my window.

I follow the highlighted route as I turn the volume up. Some overplayed Bruno Mars song comes on and I hit a button to change it. The station doesn't change so I hit another. Nothing.

"Fuck!" I moan as I hit my steering wheel. The horn sounds and a pedestrian crossing the street shoots me a dirty look.

"Sorry," I mouth before I rest my head on the wheel. I fucking hate this car.

Once I get out of the city the drive isn't that bad. The breeze feels kind of good and I guess it's not awful to have some alone time.

But being alone always makes me think too much. And I hate that.

My map tells me to turn right onto this deserted road. Where the hell am I going?

The radio starts tuning in and out. All I hear is static.

"Great," I mutter. I lost signal of the station.

I'm about to turn the volume down so I don't have to listen to the annoying static when a song comes into tune. I can't make out the first couple words because it keeps tuning in and out. But I can hear the accent.

_Ugh. _I fucking hate country music. I'm about to turn the volume down when the station becomes clear and a lyric catches my attention.

_But you kiss me when you're drunk._

I slowly release my hand from the volume knob and take a listen.

_I don't know your friends_

_Don't know where you've been_

_Why are you the one I want_

My pulse picks up a little as a nervous feeling takes over my stomach. It's so dead on.

I can't stop thinking about Brittany. I haven't really stopped thinking about her since the kiss, but being alone is just making me think about her even more. And now this song is pretty similar to how I'm feeling.

I hardly know anything about this girl. But I want to know everything there is to know. Everything.

The chorus starts and I have to admit it, it's pretty catchy. Even if it is some country singer.

_Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay_

_Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay_

_Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me_

My heart skips a beat. It's just like last night. It's like it didn't matter to her. Kissing me. She didn't think twice. But it was the most memorable kiss of my life.

_I can't be alone with you_...

_You've got me out on the edge every time you call_

_And I know it would kill me if I fall_

_I can't be alone with you._

My emotions are a mix between wanting to laugh, sob, punch the window, and hide.

I want to do all of those because the song is so right.

After last night, I know it. If I'm alone with Brittany I'm going to fall. Hard, too. It's the scariest feeling in the world. There are so many things that could go wrong and leave me completely and utterly broken.

But it's also one of the most incredible feelings in the world. It's so exciting and new. If I felt that way about her last night imagine how amazing I could feel if I _really_ fell.

_Please don't chain that door_

_I can't win this war_

_Your body is like a pill I shouldn't take_

Then the chorus comes back on.

_Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay_

_Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay_

_Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me_

_I can't be alone with you..._

By this point I'm singing along with parts of the chorus.

_You've got me out on the edge every time you call_

_And I know it would kill me if I fall_

_I can't be alone with you_

The bridge comes up and the song slows down. I have to admit I kind of like this guys voice. It's sending chills down my spine. Well, maybe that's the lyrics doing that. Or Brittany.

_Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay_

_Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay_

_Don't say you love me cause you know you're gonna love me and leave_

_I can't be alone with you..._

My heart sinks as he sings my biggest fear. You're gonna love me and leave. What's worse than Brittany not loving me at all? Loving me and then leaving. Feeling love for even the slightest bit of time and then losing it. Now I get why people say love is scary. It's so scary.

_You've got me out on the edge every time you call_

_And I know it would kill me if I fall_

_I can't be alone with you_

The song softens and slows down again as I hear the words I missed in the beginning.

_I don't see you laugh_

_you don't call me back_

_But you kiss me when you're drunk_.

The song ends and for the split second of silence before the host starts talking I can hear my heart beating. Not just because it's inside of me. I can actually hear it. And I know if someone was with me right now in the car, they'd hear it too.

I come to a dead end and I realize I've stopped following the directions.

"Shit," I mutter.

I finally get back on route and realize I'm only two minutes from the supplier. I make it there quickly, pick up the bread, and hop back in the car.

I turn the volume up, deciding that maybe I could like country after all.

Some guy talks to the background of a banjo.

"Nope," I say as I turn the volume back down. Still don't like country.

I drive in silence until I'm back in the city and completely positive that my normal hit station is back.

When I turn up the volume I'm relieved to hear that new Maroon 5 song playing.

I turn onto the highlighted street, just ten minutes away from the parking garage, and instantly cuss when I see all the traffic.

"What the fuck," I mumble. It's barely noon. There can't be this many people on a lunch break.

My car comes to a stop as I stick my head out the window. Two or three blocks down I see flashing red and blue police lights. There must have been an accident.

"Ugh," I mutter. "Should have stayed at work."

At this rate, I probably won't be free until 12:45. I would have rather stood at the fucking podium and seat customers and get creepily hit on by Henri.

I close out of the GPS on my phone and see I have a text from Quinn.

_Thanks for the coffee. I needed it haha. Apparently I told Rach I'd meet up with her for lunch last night... Come meet us? 12:45 at Romano's._

I smile, first thinking about Quinn waking up super hungover. Then thinking about her realizing she promised Rachel a lunch last night. Quinn hates not remembering things. She loves to be in control, it's who she is. I think that's why she doesn't love drinking. But I like this new Quinn. The looser Quinn. It reminds me more of high school, only she's more mature.

_Sounds good_ I respond.

It's probably gonna work out perfectly. I'm sure I'm gonna be in this traffic for awhile. But I gotta get this bread to work as soon as possible, other wise they'll have no bread for the costumers. I decide to drive right to work. I'll call Henri and have him run out to the car and pick it up. Then I can go put the car away.

After about ten minutes, I make it to the end of the block and make a left, trying to avoid the traffic. I take a weird back route that would normally add almost ten minutes to the direct route but it's definitely shorter right now.

When I'm about two minutes away I dial Henri's number and tell him to get his butt outside.

When I pull up, Henri's on the corner. I pull over as much as possible and unlock my car. I can see him judging my car, but he's too kind to say anything.

"Thank you so so much," he says as he opens my back door. He reaches in and grabs the fifteen baguettes. Looking at him try to carry them makes me wonder how I carried them to my car.

"Wait!" he calls when I'm about to drive away. "For gas," he says as he hands me sixty dollars.

"Thanks," I smile as I drive away. Some asshole beeps at me as I pull off the corner, probably because I cut him off. I hold up my middle finger as I turn the corner.

There's no way to avoid the traffic now. To get to the garage I just have to sit here. Luckily, Romano's isn't far from the garage. Only two blocks.

Sitting in traffic is probably my least favorite thing in the world. I can't sit in this small car anymore. I get super claustrophobic. Not to mention grumpy as hell. I'm already in a bad mood from having to drive an hour both ways to pick up fucking bread for a dumb ass job that is going to get me nowhere in life.

After twenty minutes on the same block, I finally get my car into the garage. By the time I'm on the street it's already 12:45 and I'm starving. I only grabbed a small granola bar for breakfast.

By the time I make it to Romano's it's 12:53 and I'm starving and bitter.

I find Rachel and Quinn in the back corner and march back to their booth and slide in next to Quinn.

"Hello sunshine," Quinn smirks as I toss my bag to the floor. "Rough day at work?" She jokes.

"Did you guys order yet?" I ask.

"Not yet-"

"I'm starving," I cry.

"They're gonna bring us bread," Rachel says trying to calm me.

"I've had enough of bread for today," I mutter. The girls just stare at me.

"Henri made me drive all the way to the middle of _fucking_ nowhere to pickup some _fucking _bread for my dumb _fucking _job," I say with as much edge as I can.

Both the girls raise their eyebrows at each other but don't react too much. It's not like they've never seen this side of me.

"I'm sorry," Rachel tries to calm me.

The waitress places rolls on the table and brings me a glass of water, immediately silencing me.

Rachel and Quinn start talking about school. I don't say anything. I kind of feel bad for bringing down the mood so I try not to say anything that will make it worse.

The subject quickly changes to Finn as I finish my second roll.

"I just, I want to take things slow," Rachel explains. Quinn nods.

"What happens, you know, in the fall?" Quinn asks.

"Exactly what I'm worried about. I get back with him, fall even harder than before, and then he leaves," Rachel says. I can hear the strain in her voice. And I feel her pain, too.

It's kind of what I was thinking about before. What if I fall for Brittany and she doesn't stay? With me, I mean.

"Oh, here she is!" Rachel smiles. Quinn and I turn around to follow her gaze.

Brittany flicks her blonde hair off her shoulder with a smile as she slides in next to Rachel.

"Hi, Brittany!" Quinn smiles. By her tone I can tell she knew Brittany was coming.

"Hi," She smiles at Quinn, then me. My stomach fills with butterflies as I think about her kiss.

"Hi," I smile.

"Sorry I'm late. Class ran a little late," she says. "Did you guys order yet?" She asks.

"Not yet," Rachel smiles as Brittany starts searching through the menu.

"How was class?" Brittany asks them.

"Good," they both say in unison.

"How was work?" She looks up at me with a smile. My face softens. She knew I had work and she actually cares how it went

"Eh, fine," I shrug. "You know, it's work."

She smiles as she points to the menu.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," she says to Rachel. "If she comes to take our order can you get me the chicken parm?"

"Mhm," Rachel smiles as Brittany scoots out of the booth to use the restroom. Watching her leave, I notice how swiftly her hips move. I guess it's a dancer thing.

"What the hell was that about?" Quinn laughs at me.

"What?" I ask defensively.

"You were all tetchy and _miserable_ and all 'work fucking sucked' and then she shows up and all of a sudden you're all 'it's just work, you know,'" she mocks me.

"I just needed some food in me," I say, motioning to the bread. I look to Rachel to vouch for me but she stays quiet. I see her trying to hide a smirk.

The waitress walks up as Quinn raises her eyebrows at me. I shrug her off as I order my shrimp scampi.

Rachel orders for her and Brittany, and when Quinn's ordering her meal Rachel flashes me a small smile, almost as if to say _Quinn's right._

I'm pretty sure Quinn's about to say something more to me right before Brittany slides back into the booth.

Brittany takes a sip of her water before softly placing it back on the table.

"While you're all here," Brittany starts, "I just wanted to say thank you again."

"Brittany," Rachel starts, trying to tell her to stop thanking us.

"No," she says. "You guys don't realize how much it means to me. You've been amazing this whole time. Better than any of the friends I've ever had," she says and I can almost hear pain in her voice. "But last night," she says, "what you guys did for me was amazing. I had a lot of fun. And it's just what I needed," she smiles.

I look around at the girls and we all have these foolish, proud smiles on our faces. It's like Brittany has this special effect on all of us. Though I'm pretty positive it's a _different_ kind of effect on me.

"Don't worry about it," Quinn smiles.

"Yeah," Rachel says. "No problem. And, if you're gonna thank anyone, Santana deserves the most credit," she smiles. I kind of like Rachel talking me up.

Brittany looks across to me with her softest smile yet. My face is burning and I pray the darkness of my skin and the lack of light in the room can hide my red cheeks.

"Thank you," she nods.

Quinn chuckles. "I think you thanked her enough last night."

"Quinn!" Rachel squeals.

Well, now I'm absolutely positive _nothing_ can hide the color of my cheeks. But when I get the courage to look up at Brittany her face is just as red.

"Oh, like you remember it," I tell Quinn as I roll my eyes.

She laughs a little and the mood begins to lighten.

"I remember it was hot," she laughs. "I mean, come on, did you see Sam?"

We both shake our heads. Obviously we didn't. We were busy kissing each other.

Quinn scoffs. "That was like one of Sam's wet dreams."

"Quinn!" Rachel squeals again. Quinn just giggles.

I try to hide my slight embarrassment. I look up towards Brittany and she isn't even trying to hide it. Her hands are covering her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Quinn tries to apologize, but she's still giggling.

"It's okay," Brittany says with a smile.

"What about Sam?" Quinn asks. My heart drops again and I feel like I take a small punch to the stomach.

Brittany almost looks confused at her question.

"I was just drunk," she shrugs. My body relaxes. "You know, being silly."

Quinn smiles.

"I'm not normally this much of a mess," Brittany says with a light laugh, but I can almost sense some pain behind that comment, too. "I just- you know, hard times. Desperate measures," she laughs. We all laugh a little with her. "I just don't want you guys to think I just kiss whoever normally. I mean, yeah, when I drink I'm a lot more flirtatious than normal. But who isn't? I was just drinking even more than usual. So it was a little over the top."

"No worries," Rachel smiles. "I think we all enjoyed seeing that Brittany, anyway," Rachel says with a slight smirk, looking me dead in the eye.

I see Brittany try to follow her eye line. Her eyes land on me and I quickly look down to my bread plate, avoiding her gaze.

The conversation passes as the waitress brings all our food out.

"That was quick," Quinn smiles.

"I'm not complaining," I say, digging into my food.

About halfway through my plate my phone vibrates in the pocket of my jeans. New text.

_Rachel_

I quickly look up to her and she gives me a look to keep quiet.

_I need to talk to you._

I look up at her with narrowing eyes.

Keeping her head straight ahead, Rachel's eyes simply look at me, flicker over to Brittany, and land back on mine as she suggestively raises her eyebrows.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys!

Here's a link to the song- Alone With You by Jake Owen- add this to the end o / watch?v=yIUzy2fFAUA

Thanks so so much for all the reviews! The story already reached over 200 which is incredible! So thanks to everyone who takes the time to write something. I love them!

Hope you guys liked it! xoxo

slaves4hemo . Tumblr . com


	8. Hopeful Uncertainty

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana freaks out after Brittany kisses Sam and walks out to the porch_

_-Rachel follows her and helps calm her down but Brittany appears minutes later_

_-Brittany and Santana talk on the porch for a little and Brittany thanks her for putting the night together and confesses that she was a better kisser than Sam_

_-Santana has to pick up bread for work and listens to Alone With You which reminds her of Brittany_

_-She meets Quinn and Rachel for lunch and is grumpy from work until Brittany shows up_

_-Rachel texts Brittany under the table that she needs to talk to her_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"You guys wanna go for some ice cream?" Rachel smiles as the waitress clears our plates.

"How old are we?" Quinn jokes.

Brittany deflates. "I have to meet with my instructor," she pouts.

"Oh right," Rachel mimics her pout. "Quinn?" She asks, hopeful.

"I have hours of work ahead of me,"

"It's a _friday_," I remind her.

"I have a paper due tomorrow at noon."

"Just me and you?" Rachel asks me.

Looking at Rachel's expression it becomes pretty clear to me that she was well aware that both Brittany and Quinn would be unable to join us.

"Please," Rachel begs. "I really want some."

I didn't realized I hadn't answered yet. Of course I'll go. You can't text me _I need to talk to you_ and motion to Brittany with your eyes and not expect me to want to be alone with you.

"Yeah," I nod.

After Rachel sent that text, I thought of every possible reason she would have something to say to me. I know it has _something _to do with Brittany or my feelings for her. I thought of plenty of ways to get alone with Rachel but I didn't want to have to rush a conversation or worry about someone overhearing it. So I sat patiently. Sure, my leg hasn't stopped bouncing and my mind has been running wild, but other than that I was pretty patient.

"Yay!" Rachel squeals.

"I better run," Brittany pops as she checks her phone. "This was fun!" she smiles. Her smile is one of those smiles you just want to stare at forever. "I'll see you later," she says to Rachel. I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of wish I was Rachel Berry right now. Living with Brittany, always being able to see her. I love living with Quinn, I do. But right now, the certainty of knowing I would see Brittany again would be nice.

"Bye guys," she smiles to Quinn and I.

"Bye," we say in unison as I give her a soft smile. I'm not positive if I'm imagining it or not, but I feel her smile at me a second longer than the other girls.

That's how I've been all through lunch, though. After Rachel sent me that text, my mind was going everywhere. It became harder to make eye contact with the girls because I didn't want them to see me thinking so hard. When I think, it's all over my face. Quinn always catches me. So I made sure to keep my eyes down at my food. But I swore I could see Brittany's eyes fall on me every minute or so. I know I'm probably imagining it, but even in if it was in my head I still liked it.

"I better go start that paper," Quinn says. "Oh, and tomorrow, after I hand in my paper, I kind of need to tell you guys something. So Rach, can you stop by at like 12:30?"

"Yeah," Rachel says with a perplexed look.

"Okay, great," she smiles a little hesitantly. "See you guys," she leaves with a small wave.

"What the hell is that about?" I ask.

"I don't know," Rachel says with a creased forehead as we watch Quinn leave.

"Whatever," I snap as I pull out my phone. "what the hell is _this_ about?" I asks as I show her her own text.

"Right," she nods. "Come on," she stands up and starts walking out of the restaurant.

"Are you going to tell me?" I ask, tugging her arm.

"Just come on," she rolls her eyes.

I follow Rachel out onto the street and she looks side to side.

"Which way," she points both ways. I stare at her with a scrunched up face as she decides to go left, the way to her apartment. "We can get Pinkberry. It's on the way to my place."

At this point I don't question her. I want so desperately to know what she wants to talk about that I don't even care she's assuming I'll go back to her place with her.

"I'm going out with Finn tonight," Rachel confesses when I catch up enough to walk beside her.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Mhm," she says nervously.

"You happy about that?" I ask, confused.

She continues walking down the sidewalk, turning her head from side to side to examine the strangers walking by.

"I think so," she finally says as we walk into Pinkberry. Surprisingly there's no line so we order right away.

"I got this one," Rachel smiles as she pays for my carmel frozen yogurt with plenty of candy and cereal toppings.

"Thanks," I smile as she hands me my froyo with a spoon.

I follow Rachel out the doors before I bring it up again.

"Have you guys talked about anything yet?"

"No!" She says, clearly upset by the fact.

For a moment, I think this may be the thing Rachel wanted to talk to me about. She's clearly upset by it, and maybe I had imagined her suggesting it was about Brittany. Maybe that's just what I wanted.

"I don't even think he knows how badly it hurt," Rachel says in her softer tone. I let my free hand slide against Rachel's back as her eyes fall down to her feet navigating the way. "I was just so happy to see him and catch up that I let it slide for awhile. I just pushed it to the back of my head. I tried to forget," she explains. "He just- he _dumped_ me. For no reason. To _let me achieve my dreams_," she mocks. "Or so he could go _live_ at college," she rolls her eyes. "And now he's back. And he just expects me to pick things up where we left off. And then what?" She asks. "He's gone."

Rachel pauses for awhile as we walk into her building. We greet the one of her neighbors in the lobby as we walk up the steps.

I don't say anything. This is one of those talks with Rachel that she isn't really looking for answers. She just wants to vent and be heard. And I'm more than okay with that. I don't know what I would even be able to say right now that would help.

"The worst part is," Rachel starts as she fiddles with her keys, "I want to."

I'm about to ask what she means when she turns the handle and pushes the door open. She walks in and sits herself down on the couch before I even enter the doorway. She brings her knees up to her chest as she continues to eat her froyo.

"Want to what?" I ask, closing the door behind me as I make my way to the couch.

"I want to pick back up where we left off. Because my feelings, they never left," she says. Part of me is shocked Rachel isn't crying. After listening to her cry about this all first semester, I can't believe how steady her voice is right now. "I know I shouldn't, and I'll regret it, but I- I don't know," she stops.

"It's scary," I say. Rachel's head snaps up at me, clearly shocked to hear me speak.

"What?" she says. "What's scary?" She clarifies her question.

"Knowing what you want," I say slowly as I choose my words, "but knowing how much that thing could hurt you."

"You mean love," she laughs. I just shrug.

"Anyway," she says. "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Thank God," I sigh. Rachel laughs.

Rachel takes another spoonful from her cup before she starts again.

"It's about Brittany," she says. I knew that's exactly what she was going to say but her name still makes my stomach swirl.

I nod in recognition.

"She asked about you all morning," Rachel confesses. My heart stops and I try my best to keep my eyes from bugging out of my head. For a quick moment, I forget how to breath. Once my breath restarts, I answer.

"What she say?" I try to keep my cool.

Rachel smiles a little.

"First she asked if you said anything, you know, about the kiss."

"What you say?"

"I said I hadn't really talked to you. But she remembered I followed you out on the balcony."

"Shit," I say.

"Yeah, she wasn't as drunk as we thought." I let out a breathy laugh.

"So I- I told her that you just needed air. And I went to follow you out. I don't know if she bought it though," she says, clearly nervous I'll be pissed.

"It's okay," I tell her.

"But then she kept asking about you. She wanted to know if you still had feelings for Sam-"

"Great, she likes Sam-"

"Santana! Listen to me," Rachel says sternly. "Listen to what I'm telling you."

I scoot awkwardly in the couch as I pull my legs up cross them.

"She asked about _you_. Not _him. _She kissed him too," she reminds me. "But she didn't say _anything_ about him."

I swallow nervously as I try to process what she's saying.

"She wanted to know about the last time you dated someone, if you normally kiss people for fun like that, if you were going to be mad at her after that kiss, if you had any siblings, the last time you performed. I swear if she didn't have to go to class we would have talked about you all day," Rachel says adamantly.

I'm left speechless as I try to comprehend it all. I know I shouldn't be reading into this too much, but I can't help but feel a little bit of hope. She's making my stomach swirl and my heart pound a little harder than normal.

A smile creeps on my lips as I bashfully look down to my folded up lap. I quickly snap back to reality.

"It doesn't mean anything," I say sharply.

"San," Rachel pleads. "Look, I'm not saying it means she's in love with you. I'm not trying to make this something it's not. But it's clear she's interested in you in _some_ way. Maybe it's just as a friend, but she clearly wants to know you."

I slowly nod as I try to accept it.

"I know I can be kind of..."

"Pushy? Obnoxious? Meddling?" I offer.

"Okay, okay!" She cuts me off as we both lightly laugh it off. "I can be kind of _overbearing_ sometimes," she tries. I nod in agreement. "But you know I care about you. I wouldn't be putting something this dangerous in your head if I didn't think I was right."

By this point, I'm breathing a lot harder than I should be for being stationary and my palms are starting to feel a little clammy. I put my ice cream down on the table because my appetite is suddenly gone.

"I'm not gonna tell you what to do," Rachel starts.

"That's a first," I scoff. Rachel rolls her eyes and continues.

"She wants to get to know you. So get to know her, too. That's the only way anything has a chance of happening," Rachel shrugs.

I stare at her for a moment before I finally nod a few times. As much as I hate to admit it, she's right. I can't expect Brittany to have any type of feelings for me if I don't get as close to her as I can.

"I never knew being gay would be so hard," I sigh. Rachel smiles a little. "Getting a guy to come onto me was so fucking easy."

Rachel's laughter grows as her apartment door opens. Our heads turn to the front of the room as Brittany's voice comes through the door.

"You can come up here soon if Daddy lets you," she says in a soft childish tone I haven't heard before. I can safely assume she's talking to her baby sister. "He can come too," she says. "There's a nice hotel by me. You could get room service and everything, just like Eloise," she laughs as she finally pulls her key out of the lock and steps through the doorway, finally coming into my view.

"Hey Rach," she says before looking up. "Oh! Hi Santana!" She smiles when her eyes meet mine.

"Hi," I smile just as big before Brittany puts her phone back to her ear.

"I'm home now. Yeah- yeah," she says in a softer tone. "That's her," she says shrinking. Her eyes avoid both of us as she twists her back to us.

Rachel looks over to me with raised eyebrows.

"They're both very nice," Brittany says with a smile as she gets the confidence to face us again. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay Troy? Okay. Alright. I love you bud. Bye-bye," she says as she hangs up.

"Sorry," she apologizes. I love that. She always apologizes for no reason.

"Was that your sister?" Rachel asks with a smile.

"Mhm," she nods.

"How was your meeting?" I ask.

"Good," she smiles.

"Did you need help with choreography?" Rachel asks.

Suddenly, Brittany gets a little shy. "Um, no," she starts. We both look up at her, waiting for her to finish. "He wanted some input on a routine," she finally manages at a level barely above a whisper. My mouth drops open a little as Rachel lets out a laugh in disbelief.

"You mean he wanted you to create a routine," she corrects her. Brittany nods sheepishly.

"That's incredible," I barely manage to say. _Juilliard professors_ want Brittany's help.

Brittany's face heats up as she hangs her bag up on the hook near the door.

"Thanks," she mutters. "I'm gonna go shower," she smiles as she walks towards the bathroom.

The second she closes the door behind her Rachel straightens up.

"She was talking about _you_," she mutters. "To her sister."

"You don't _know_ that!" I snap, clearly annoyed with Rachel and her presumptuousness.

Rachel slumps down a little and gives me an apologetic look.

"I'm pretty positive," she mutters.

"It could have been about you, too," I tell her.

"Yeah, but why would she get so shy to say that her_ roommate_ was in _their _apartment?"

"Just drop it," I tell her. Rachel nods in defeat as she jumps to her feet. "Help me pick out an outfit for tonight?" She asks as she brings her hands together in a praying motion.

"Come on," I smile as I pull her into her room.

We go through Rachel's wardrobe and after hearing Finn is taking her to the new sushi place down the block I help her pick out a nice tight black skirt with a white tank covered by a small three quarter black blazer with light gold accents.

"What are you going to do tonight?" She asks me as she starts to get changed.

I lay down flat on my back on her bed. "I don't know," I shrug. "Maybe watch some TV or a movie."

"Ask Brittany to hang out," she says.

I immediately want to spit back no because it's Rachel suggesting the idea, but I sit for a moment and think about it.

"And do what?" I ask.

"Does it matter?" Rachel spits as she pulls up her skirt. "She likes that show you were watching, right? Ask her to watch it with you or something."

_Right_! The O.C. She loved that! And it will be casual. And we can talk. But if we can't think of anything to say we can just watch the show. No pressure. Props to Rachel for a not-so-shitty idea.

Rachel turns to me and I sit up on the bed.

"Up or down?" she asks as she plays with her hair.

"Down," I tell her. She nods in agreement.

"Will you do my makeup?" She asks. I shrug. I've got nothing better to do yet.

I follow Rachel towards the bathroom and, just on cue, Brittany walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. Her wet hair falls down her back as tiny water droplets slip down her flawless skin.

"Oh, sorry!" She smiles as she walks past us. Again, apologizing for nothing. I don't realize I'm holding my breath in until she's back in her room and I let out a long sigh.

"Keep it in your pants," Rachel laughs.

"Do you want me to do your makeup?" I bark as I throw down her makeup bag. She immediately grabs onto my wrist.

"Sorry, sorry! Yes!"

Rachel sits on the small chair in front of a tiny vanity mirror in their bathroom as I sit on a stool across from her. Rachel's back is to the mirror so she can't complain every time I apply anything.

I'm about halfway done when Brittany walks into the bathroom in capri navy blue sweatpants and a tight white tank top. Her hairs still wet but it's been combed through.

"Where are you going?" Brittany asks Rachel as she leans against the counter facing me.

"Out with Finn."

"Ooh," Brittany says in an understanding tone.

I give Brittany a nod and she laughs a little.

"Are you nervous?" She asks.

"A little," Rachel admits.

Brittany's hands give Rachel's shoulder a small squeeze.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Rachel asks Brittany. I almost get mad at her, but part of me is glad she asked so I didn't have to.

Brittany shrugs the way I had when Rachel asked me.

"I don't know, probably take it easy," she says. Rachel's eyes shoot open to give me a knowing look.

"Oh I like that color," Brittany says as she points to the dark silver eyeshadow.

"Yeah," I smile. "I'll use that one."

I start applying the eyeshadow when Rachel's foot lands on top of mine. I know it wasn't an accident.

"I'm probably just gonna lay low tonight, too," I tell Brittany. "Maybe watch some more O.C. if you want to join me?"

Her face lights up at the mention of the O.C.

"Yeah," she grins. "I'd like that."

"After Rach leaves we can head over to my place to watch it, or I can go grab it and bring it back, whatever works."

"I actually have it on DVD too," she blushes.

I smile pretty big. Partly because it's cute she has them on DVD, but mostly because she came over to watch it with me when she had access to the show the whole time. I guess it is more fun to watch with someone else, though.

"Season one?" I ask.

"All four," she admits.

The three of us let out a light laugh.

"Cool, we'll just stay here."

Brittany smiles with a nod.

"What are you guys gonna eat?" Rachel asks.

"There's frozen pizzas in there," Brittany suggests as she point in the direction of the kitchen.

"Good with me," I smile as I apply light blush to Rachel's cheeks.

"I'll go turn on the oven," Brittany says as she exits the bathroom.

Rachel's grin grows dramatically as Brittany leaves the two of us alone.

"Shut up," I groan. "You're done," I tell her as I put her make up brush down. She spins around to look in the mirror and her eyes widen a little.

"Yeah, you're welcome," I tell her. "I made you look a _little _desirable," I tease.

"You think?" She asks.

"I mean, you're not my type, but you're not so bad," I joke. Rachel lets out a breathy laugh as she gives me a hug. I'm a little taken aback but I slowly wrap my arms around her.

"Thank you," she whispers.

"Mhm," I tell her. I can tell the hug is brought on by the edge Finn is causing her. "Have fun tonight," I tell her with a smile.

"You too," she smiles back.

I walk Rachel out of the bathroom and Brittany meets us in the living room. Brittany gives Rachel a hug as I hand her her purse.

"Have fun," Brittany tells her.

"You too," Rachel whispers. I eye the two girls as they give each other the same smile Rachel and I had just given to each other moments ago.

"Bye!" Rachel squeals as she closes the door behind her.

The oven beeps to signal that it's hot enough. Brittany turns towards the kitchen and I follow closely behind her. I take a seat at the counter while she slides the pizza onto the oven rack.

"So do your professors always ask for your help?" I ask her when she turns around.

She smiles sheepishly. "No," she says with a pause. "Choreography is just sort of my, you know, my thing."

"So they do," I correct her. She just shrugs. I give her a smile because I know that means yes. I don't know what impresses me more, her talent or how humble she is.

Brittany takes a seat across from me after setting a time on the oven.

"Does your sister dance too?" I ask, wondering about what she said on the phone.

"Mhm," she smiles. "She's good."

"I'm sure she learned from you," I tell her.

"She'd much rather be a singer, though. She's a little more into that I think."

"I bet she misses you," I say. Brittany nods and I can tell it upset her a little. I'm about to speak up when she starts talking.

"That's why we talk on the phone a lot. And skype." I give Brittany a smile. "She likes to hear all about my life. And I want to hear about hers. I hate missing her grow up." Brittany starts again. "But that's why she wanted to know if that was you in the apartment," she says in a softer tone. A smile floods my face as I realize Rachel was right. She was talking about me. She talked about me to her sister. "I told her about you," she admits. "I hope that's okay."

Brittany looks up at me with expectant eyes. She's red and nervous.

"That depends on what you said," I smile.

Brittany visibly relaxes. "I was telling her about all my new friends," she explains, and my excitement starts to fade. I guess I shouldn't have gotten so excited about this. I mean, she probably talked about Quinn too. But then Brittany continues. "I told her about how nice you were, you know, with my mom and everything. And how talented you are. She wants to hear you sing now, too," she smiles. "And I told her about how we watched the O.C. And I told her how funny you were."

I'm a little taken aback by her honesty. But I feel like I'm flying. She told her sister about things we did. How she thinks I'm talented. How she thinks I'm funny. What gets me though is the fact that she thinks about me at all.

"Is that okay?" Brittany asks when I don't answer her.

"Mhm," I quickly say with a wide smile.

"Good," she says.

"So what's with Finn and Rachel?" Brittany asks.

"Well they dated in high school on and off. He's like, you know, a good guy. He really is. But all of a sudden it was time for college and I was pretty sure they were gonna stay together. They managed to stay together all of senior year, which was _groundbreaking_ for them," I say. Brittany chuckles a little. "But then he broke up with her before college to _set her free_," I mock. "That just meant he wanted to be able to get with girls at college."

Brittany's starts to look more understanding.

"But now he's back, and he hasn't apologized or said anything, and I think she's just really worried she's gonna get hurt again."

"Of course," Brittany says. "I get that," she says. But I can tell she means it. She's not just saying she understands, it's like she lived it.

"You have a Finn?" I ask, but it's not really a question. It's more of a statement. Brittany starts to nod.

"Yeah, I do."

The oven beeps and Brittany slowly gets up to take the pizza out. After putting on some oven mitts and placing the hot pizza on a tray, Brittany starts to talk again.

"I'd never had a boyfriend," she confesses. "I was a senior in high school. I mean, I was at a performing arts high school, so the majority of the guys were gay," she laughs. "The ones that weren't were either far too feminine for me or just plain cocky. But Ryan transferred my senior year and we started off as best friends. I hadn't had someone to crush on since middle school, and suddenly I had one and he was my best friend. We sort of just...evolved. And it was great. I really _really _liked him," she explains. "But then, like Finn, when he went off to college, he broke up with me. He tried to make it seem like he was doing it for me, but I knew it was for him," she shrugs. She isn't gonna cry, but I can tell it's still a sore subject.

"I'm sorry," I tell her. She smiles a little.

"It's okay. He actually called me the other day. You know, it's summer. He probably just needs someone to get with."

"What you say?" I ask and I suddenly feel like I'm being to obtrusive. She doesn't have to tell me this stuff. But she does. Without thinking about it, either.

"I told him I was in New York for the summer. And I gently reminded him that _he_ broke up with _me_," she laughs. "I just decided I don't need to be with someone who hurt me once. He didn't want to be with me. So why should I be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?" She shrugs as she cuts the pizza.

"Yeah," I say. "Yeah, you're right. Wow, I wish Rachel was as logical as you," I laugh. She does too.

Brittany walks over and hands me a plate with a piece of pizza on it.

"Want a water?" She asks as she grabs one for herself.

"Yeah, thanks."

We sit in silence for a moment while we both begin to eat our pizza.

"So," she says in between bites. "Was Sam your Finn?"

"Nah," I say. "It wasn't really like that," I tell her. "I broke up with him," I say.

"Yeah," she says, clearly knowing that already. I think she just used that question as an easy transition to talk about me.

"I just, I sort of have a bad track record with guys," I confess.

She looks up at me curiously.

"I dated a couple guys, or hooked up with, whatever you call it. But I never really cared about any of them," I say. I'm shocked at how honest I'm being and it must show because she stops me.

"You don't have to-"

"No," I say. "It's fine." I take another breath before continuing. "I didn't really have feelings for these guys." I start to get a little embarrassed but I can't stop myself from talking. "But then I met Sam. And I did like him. I mean, he's a great guy. And I loved spending time with him more than anyone. But I didn't realize it at first, that I only liked spending time with him as a _friend_. When it became clearer, I had to get out of it. Unlike the other guys, I actually cared about him. And I didn't want to hurt him. I mean, I didn't even sleep with him," I confess. Brittany's eyes widen a little and mine do too. I can't believe I'm saying all this. I've never even told Quinn how I felt.

"I ended it before I could hurt him anymore," I explain.

"That was really cool of you," Brittany says.

"Yeah?" I ask as I try to convince myself.

"Yeah," she nods with a smile. "Most girls are too selfish to care about other people's feelings."

I nod as I finish my second slice. I'm kind of glad I didn't right out tell her I was gay. I didn't think about what I way saying, so it easily could have slipped out. But I don't know how she's going to react. I just, I don't think it was the right time.

"Wanna watch now?" She asks as she clears my plate.

"Yeah, thanks," I say.

"I'll grab my laptop," she asks. "We can watch on the couch."

I nod as I head out to the living room. I sit down on the couch with my legs crossed under me. Brittany walks out with her macbook and the same orange DVD case I own. She pulls the table close to the couch so there's less than a foot between the couch and the table. She places her laptop down on the table before she disappears back to her room. She comes back out a moment later with a big purple blanket. She plops down right next to me so our knees are touching. I'm shocked again by how soft her skin is.

"I always want a blanket, even if it's cold," she says as she pulls it over her. "Want some?" She offers.

"Yeah," I smile as Brittany scoots closer to me to place the blanket over my legs. Turns out the disc is already in her computer so she starts up the DVD app and finds the next episode I haven't seen. She leans forward to press play and sits back on the couch.

Feeling bold and a little invigorated from the touch of her skin against mine, I slouch down a little, allowing myself to comfortably rest my head on Brittany's shoulder. Without missing a beat, Brittany adjusts her arm so she can wrap it around me as she pulls me closer into her body. A wave of butterflies fills my stomach and I bite my tongue to try to hide my smile.

We sit in silence watching the show, but Brittany's fingers are constantly moving on my shoulder and arm. Nobody's ever made my heart race from such a simple touch.

"You smell good," I say. I immediately want to punch myself in the face and hide under the blanket. The words literally just slipped through my teeth. My stomach twists into a giant knot and I feel my body tense.

Brittany lets out a soft, breathy laugh. "Thanks," she smiles. "It's probably just my shampoo," she says. Then I feel Brittany against the top of my head.

"You're hair smells good, too," she smiles. I start to blush a little.

"Thanks," I laugh.

Halfway through the third episode, I adjust my body so I'm laying a little more into her. My hand finds its way onto her lap. I don't realize it's resting on her leg until I feel Brittany's free hand fall on top of it. My stomach feels like it's punched, but in a good way. Like it's hit with a ball of butterflies that explode and fill my body upon impact.

After a long moment of soaking in her skin, I wiggle my fingers a little so Brittany's fingers fall in between the spaces of mine. My heart is hammering in my chest.

This is one of those moments girls in high school used to talk about. They'd talk for hours about what seemed like the simplest shit. Like _oh my God_ he his elbow brushed against mine! _Oh my God_ he held my hand! I used to just scoff and roll my eyes. How could something so dumb make you feel so good? I just didn't get it.

But right now, in this moment, I absolutely get it. I almost want to apologize for all my crude comments to those girls, but I don't think I really care enough.

In this moment, it's just me and Brittany. That's all I care about.

_Nope. _Just as I think that, the door opens and in walks Rachel. Her eyes are a little puffy but she immediately brightens up when she sees us.

"Oh, hi guys!" She says, but I can hear the strain in her voice. Immediately, both Brittany and I sit up.

It's amazing to me that Brittany can notice Rachel's in pain after only knowing her for such a short time. I mean, I have to know someone for years to be able to read them and sometimes I still can't.

"Rach, what's wrong?" I ask, sitting up.

"N-nothing," she smiles. "I'm beat. I'm just gonna get some sleep. You guys watch your show." She starts to walk to her room and I can tell she feels bad for interrupting our cuddling.

"No," I say sternly. "Come here."

Rachel's eyes widen but she quickly walks back over the couch. I pat the spot next to me and she sits down, hugging her knees to her chest.

"What happened? Do I have to bust his balls?" I ask.

Rachel lets out a breathy laugh. "No-no," she starts. "He was perfect," she sighs. I stare at her confused.

"He apologized for everything. Admitted he wasn't mature. Told me- he told me," Rachel says as she gets chocked up. "He told me he loved me. He wasn't happy this year without me. And he said everything I'd been dying to hear since he let me go."

"Then what's wrong?" I ask.

"It felt just how I wanted it to feel. Amazing. Incredible. But- but now I'm back where I was. So in love with him. Like nothing ever happened. Like he never hurt me. But he did hurt me!" She cries. Rachel buries her face into my chest and begins to sob.

"I know," I breath.

"I just- I'm scared," she admits as she pulls her face off of me.

"I know," I breath again.

"He could hurt me so easily again. And I'm just setting myself up for it. And I'm so mad at myself. But- but I want it. I _want_ him," she says.

Suddenly Brittany speaks up, and I'm glad too, because I didn't know what else to say besides I know.

"Sometimes, in love, it's worth it," she whispers. "If you love him, and you think he means what he said, then you should let yourself be happy. Even if it's only temporary."

Rachel stares deep at Brittany and begins to nod.

"Yeah," she says. "I-I do believe him," she says in between sniffs. "I just, I love him. And I don't want to be blinded by that."

"I can talk to him," I suggest.

Rachel laughs a little. "No," she smiles. "You might scare him away."

"That may be exactly what he needs," I smile.

"Love is scary," Rachel breaths.

"I know," I tell her, as I pull her into my chest. We sit like that for awhile as I let her catch her breath.

Suddenly she sits up. "I'm sorry," she whispers in my ear.

Rachel stands up.

"I'm sorry," she says again out loud. "I didn't mean to interrupt the- the show."

"It's okay," she both say with smiles.

"I'm just gonna go to bed. It's late. Thanks, you guys," she smiles.

"Anytime, Rach," I smile. "Wait," I call. "What time is it?"

"12:30."

"What? Wow," I breath. I hadn't realized how late it was. "I should probably head back home."

"You sure?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah, I don't wanna take the chance of waking Quinn up too late. She'll be pissed."

Brittany laughs a little.

"Alright," she smiles as she stands up off the couch. I turn to say goodbye to Rachel but she's already gone.

"I had fun," I tell Brittany.

"Me too," she smiles as she opens her arms for a hug. I let my chin rest on her shoulder for awhile as I breath in her scent. She really does smell good, and not just because of her shampoo. It's this fresh, brisk, sweet smell.

Brittany pulls away and opens the door for me.

"Text me when you get home," she says.

"I'm just walking across the street," I laugh.

"Oh, right," she blushes. "I'm used to people going further. Still, we're in New York City. Just text me when you make it back, okay?"

I laugh. "Okay," I smile. "Bye," I say as I close the door behind me.

I've decided there's no better feeling I've ever felt then the one of hopeful uncertainty. It's scary, too. But mostly exciting. I don't know what's about to happen with us, or if anything at all, but I'm extremely confident that what ever happens, no matter which direction it goes, is going to be one of my favorite things ever.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The classic iPhone ringtone blasts through my room and without thinking I snatch the phone off my table.

"Henri I'm off today!" I say with as much edge as I can manage after just waking up.

A light laugh fills the other end of the line. "It's Brittany," she says and I can hear her smiling.

"Oh, sorry," I say sitting up with a smile. "I thought you were my boss. He woke me up yesterday-"

"Oh sorry! Did I wake you?"

"No, well yeah, but it's okay. I was about to get up."

"Oh, sorry," she apologizes again.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Oh, right! I need you to come here," she says.

"To your apartment?" I ask.

"No, no. I need you to come here, to the coffee shop NYU kids are always at. I don't remember the name. It's on the corner by that place we ate. I just- I need you to come here now," she says again.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I say, suddenly worried.

"No, I'm fine," she says as light as she can. "Don't worry. Just, when you get up and get changed and whatever, can you stop by here? Please?" she asks. An excuse to be with Brittany? Are you kidding?

"Yeah, of course," I smile as I jump right out of bed. "I'll be right there."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I had more I wanted to put in this chapter but I decided to split it into two. So hopefully the next chapter will be quick and easy to write! Let me know what you guys think!

Thanks for all the support! Xoxo

slaves4hemo . Tumblr . com


	9. The Fear

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Rachel tells Santana that Brittany has been asking about her_

_-Rachel has a date with Finn and Quinn is busy with school so Santana asks Brittany to hang out_

_-They talk a little about past relationships and watch the O.C._

_-They cuddle and right after they start to hold hands Rachel comes home, upset she's falling for Finn again_

_-The girls comfort her then Santana goes home_

_-She wakes up from a phone call from Brittany telling her to meet her at the coffee shop down the block_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I look through the glass windows of Tazza, the coffee shop I _think_ Brittany was talking about, to see if I can find Brittany. It's kind of busy for a Saturday morning, but it's not too packed. I see two other blonde girls before I find Brittany. I smile as I walk through the doors.

She's lounging on a couch with her back to me.

"Hey," I say as I tap her shoulder. She turns around with a big grin.

"Hi! Here," she hands me a coffee. "I got you regular. I don't know how you take it so I'll let you get the milk or creamer over there, but here are two sugars if you need them."

"Thanks," I smile. "Two is perfect," I tell her as I open the lid and pour the sugars in. I excuse myself for a moment as I walk toward the little table in the corner to add a little milk.

When I return, Brittany is still sitting on the couch with a giddy look on her face. Her legs are bouncing as she grips her coffee cup with both hands.

I'm about to sit next to her when she jumps to her feet and grabs my wrist.

"No," she says. I just laugh at her jumpy behavior.

"What's going on?" I ask. "Are you okay?"

She takes a deep breath and pulls me by my wrist to the large bulletin board in the back corner.

"Look," she breaths. My eyes search the board for anything remotely interesting. There are adds looking for a receptionist, a dog sitter, and a used laptop. There are adds promoting a babysitter and some student performance next week. Then there's some pictures and ads for restaurants around here.

I stare over the ads again before I look over at Brittany whose staring at me expectantly.

"What am I looking at?" I ask.

Brittany rolls her eyes before her hand shoots up to an ad I already skimmed over.

_Next Saturday_

_Students of NYU perform for the public_

_All types of performances welcome_

I turn to Brittany after I read over the flyer and she's smiling wide at me.

"So?" She asks.

"So what?" I say not totally grasping why we're standing in front of this flyer.

"Will you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Perform," she states.

"What? N-no. No," I shake my head. Brittany's lip pouts slightly. "I don't even think I can because I'm not in the summer program," I try.

Brittany's finger shoots to the bottom of the flyer. In tiny, tiny print there is a small statement in italics next to an asterisk.

_*Students do not need to be enrolled in summer programs to be eligible to perform_.

"Oh," I mutter. Brittany clearly thought this all out.

"You _have _to do it!" She cries.

"I- I can't," I mutter.

"Why not?" she asks softly. I don't really have an answer so I don't say anything. I just keep rereading the flyer.

"Santana, you said you missed performing. And you're incredible. It makes you happy, doesn't it?" she asks.

A small smile forms on my lips as I nod.

"Then you have to do it. It won't be a high pressure situation. Just something fun."

I reread the flyer one more time. It's a late afternoon performance, not too late.

"The students are all really really talented, though," I start to say.

"So are you!" She says adamantly as her hands grip my shoulders. "That tape," she says, "you were amazing. And everyone _always_ talks about how amazing you are."

I look down at my feet as I try to think about what to do. I miss performing more than anything. But at McKinley I always had a group behind me to support me. I was a big fish in a small pond. Now I'm all alone. And I'm a small fish in a huge, ginormous, super talented ocean.

"And I wanna see you sing," Brittany pleads. I finally look up at her and her eyes are so soft.

"I don't even know what to sing," I sigh.

Brittany's smile grows a little.

"I'll help you!" She says as her hands slip down my arms to grab my hands. That's all I needed.

"I'll do it," I sigh.

"Yes!" She squeals as she throws her arms around my neck and pulls me into her. I quickly wrap my arms around her back and take in her scent. Her body is so warm.

"We have to call the number!" She smiles as she pulls away. Brittany takes out her phone as she dials the number on the flyer.

"You want to call?" she asks as she holds out the phone.

"Can you?" I ask.

Brittany nods and hits the call button.

"Hello? Hi, yes," Brittany says. "I'm calling about the show next Saturday. I have someone who would like to perform. Yes. Yeah, an NYU student. Santana Lopez. Okay, yeah."

Brittany takes the phone away from her ear. _On hold_ she mouths.

"Thank you," I smile.

I take out my phone and find a text from Quinn.

_Where did you go? Will you be back here by 12:30? You and Rach said you'd meet me here so I could tell you my news. _

"Shit," I breath.

"What?" Brittany asks.

"Hold on," I tell her. I check the time. 12:19. _Fuck. _I gotta leave.

_I'll be right there. Can Brittany come? Or is the news too private?_

Quinn answers back right away.

_Of course! _

"Yeah, hi. Um, I don't know yet," Brittany talks again. "She will call when she picks. Okay. Great. Thanks so much! Bye!"

"Thanks," I smile.

She nods. "You just have to call when you pick your song, okay?"

"Yeah," I tell her. "Look, Quinn wanted Rachel and I to meet her at 12:30 so she could tell us some sort of news. She said you can come too," I quickly tell her so she doesn't feel like she isn't welcome. "But we have to leave now," I tell her.

Brittany quickly nods. "You sure I should go?"

"Yeah, of course! Plus, whatever this news is I'm sure is overdramatic. I'm gonna want someone to laugh about it with," I nudge her. Brittany giggles as we quickly exit the coffee shop and head back to my apartment.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"We're here, we're here," I say as I throw the door open. "Don't get your panties in a bunch," I joke as we walk into our living room. Rachel and Quinn and both seated on the couch. Rachel laughs a little but Quinn just rolls her eyes.

"Where were you two?" Quinn asks.

"Tazza," I tell her.

"For what?" Rachel asks.

"I got her to sing!" Brittany sings.

"What?" They both sit up in unison.

"Not yet," I sigh. "Don't worry you didn't miss anything."

"Wait, what?" Quinn asks again.

"Next Saturday there's a showcase type thing for NYU students. Dancers, singers, musicians. They're all welcome," Brittany tells her. "I got Santana to sign up!"

"San! That's amazing!" Rachel squeals as she gets up to give me an unwelcome hug.

"Wait, _what?_" Quinn asks again.

"I'm singing," I state again with an edge. I don't understand why it's so hard to understand.

"I _heard_ you," Quinn says. "_How_ did you manage that?" She asks Brittany.

"What do you mean?" I snap defensively.

"We've been trying to get you to perform since you got here," Quinn says, astonished. I just shrug.

"It doesn't matter," Rachel smiles. "We'll be there!"

"Thanks," I smile as I take a seat on the recliner across from the couch. Brittany comes and sits on the arm rest of my chair, making my stomach swirl. There's an empty recliner a few feet away from me that she easily could have sat on.

"So why are we here?" I ask to take the focus away from me.

Quinn takes a deep breath.

"I just wanted to let you guys know, together, before-" she stops as she lets out a sigh.

Rachel and I eye each other.

"Puck is coming to visit," she states.

I try my hardest to keep my mouth from hanging open but when I look to Rachel I see she is making no attempt to keep her's closed.

It's not that I think it's bad that he's coming. I actually like Quinn and Puck together. Not that he treated her completely right, but I know she loves him. And he definitely cares about her. And with this new, loose Quinn, I think they have a better chance at working more now than ever before. She was always a little too uptight with him, something Puck definitely didn't want to deal with.

"Wait, he's coming from L.A.?" Rachel asks.

Quinn nods hesitantly. I don't think she can read our reactions yet.

"When is he coming?"

"Um, _tosorroy_," Quinn purposely mumbles something we can't quite make out.

"What?" we say.

"Today," she mutters under her breath.

"Quinn!" I freak. "Today?"

"Mhm," she mutters. "I'm sorry! I wanted to tell you earlier! But I just didn't want to tell you guys I was talking to him incase it didn't work out. But yesterday he finalized his flight-"

"What time is he getting in?" I chime in.

"He lands in an hour," she mumbles.

"An hour?" I scream.

"Mhm," Quinn says as she hangs her head.

"Where's he staying?" I ask in the calmest tone I can manage.

"Well, that's the thing. I kind of, I wanted to know if it was okay with you if he could stay here."

I sigh. "Quinn, of course. I mean, I don't want you to think I'm mad. You know I love Puck. I'm just shocked."

"But I don't know if I want him in my bed yet, you know?" she whispers as her face heats up. "I mean, he'll have the couch but-"

"He can have my bed," I shrug. "I could always bunk with you. Or even Rach and Brit if you want the option to have alone time with him."

The girls both nod.

"Plus, I do _not_ want to be here if you two have _sexy _time," I roll my eyes.

"You can stay at our house," Rachel offers. "But you can't sleep with me if you're still a kicker," Rachel quickly adds. I laugh a little.

"You can always sleep with me," Brittany says. "My sister's a kicker. I'm pretty immune to it," she shrugs with a smile.

The corner of my lips curl upward. "Thanks."

"Do you want us here when he gets here?" I ask.

"Well I have to pick him up at the airport," she says. "We're probably gonna go to dinner tomorrow night with everyone. Finn and Sam, hopefully you all can come too?" She asks. We all nod. "But tonight I think we are going to go out alone. Catch up, you know," she says.

Rachel's smile grows. "You're happy," she says. Quinn starts blushing but tries to shake her off.

"We're happy for you," I tell her so she doesn't feel like she has to answer.

"Nothing happened yet!" She says defensively.

"_Yet_," Rachel jokes.

"Yeah, yeah," Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Well, how about I clear out my room for him, just for the _rare _case that he ends up in my bedroom. And I'll sleep at their place tonight. Give you guys some alone time."

"You don't have to-"

"No," I tell her. "It's okay. You deserve it," I say. The thing is, I want to see Quinn happy. And she's happiest when she's care free and being silly and not uptight. And if any guy I've seen her with brings that out of her, it's Puck. Plus, if that means I get a night with Brittany, that's not too bad either.

I jump up to my feet. "I'm gonna clean up and grab some clothes for tonight," I announce.

Rachel stands up to hug Quinn and Brittany quickly follows.

"Text me if you need me. I can't wait to hear all about it," Rachel smiles. "Have some fun, okay?" She says. Quinn nods.

"Have fun!" Brittany simply says. I'm sure she's pretty lost.

It must be hard for her. Coming into a close group of friends like this. We've known each other forever. And we know each other's past and secrets. And she's just been thrown into our group. She has no one else, either. I just hope she doesn't feel like a stranger or anything.

I leave them alone to finish their goodbyes as I walk into my room. I begin picking up some loose socks, a dirty sweatshirt, and other worn clothes off my floor. I put them in a pile next to the door so I can carry them to the laundry room on my way out. I push play on my laptop on my recently added playlist and immediately the familiar country tune starts playing. I begin to make my bed as Quinn walks into my room. She leans against my door frame and begins to watch me straighten out my sheets.

"So Puck, huh?" I say as I look up to her.

"What the hell is this?" Quinn laughs.

"What?" I ask, looking around the room for something strange.

"You _hate_ country," she says as she continues to stare at me.

"I like this song," I shrug. Although "Alone With You" makes me remember how scared I feel, it makes me think of Brittany. And thinking of Brittany makes me happy.

I try to ignore Quinn's burning eyes on me as I tuck the corner of the sheets under the mattress.

"Whatever," she mumbles. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asks.

"With what? Puck coming?"

"No, with leaving your room for Puck."

"Yeah," I smirk. "I'm probably gonna sneak in the window for a quickie with him tonight," I joke.

Quinn rolls her eyes.

I used to hook up with Puck for fun, you know, before Quinn and him had begun. It was never with emotions, though, because I like girls. But I never felt bad because I knew he was just doing it for fun, too.

"He could be good for you," I tell her. Quinn nods. We've had this discussion a lot. She knows I like Puck for her. I think her announcement was more for Rachel. She supports Quinn with Puck, but she always thought Puck was _way_ to immature for Quinn. In reality, Quinn was too mature to Puck. We were sixteen. We were supposed to be immature. I mean, after they got pregnant together, that obviously changed the dynamic, but still.

I grab a small bag and start to toss sweats in it. Quinn takes a seat on my freshly made bed.

"So you want to tell me what's going on?" She finally asks.

"What?" I straighten up.

"You come to New York to pursue your dreams, and then you just stop performing. Rachel and I spend our entire freshman year trying to get you back on stage. And then today, just like that, you decide in a split second _yeah, you know what, performing sounds cool. I'll try that,_" Quinn imitates me.

I try to hide my smile. I love when Quinn makes fun of me.

"Seriously," Quinn says in a more grave tone. "What happened?"

I shrug a little.

"How'd she do it?" Quinn asks. My heart stops for a long second as I realize what Quinn's saying. But it quickly starts up again when I know Quinn really doesn't _know_ know.

When I don't answer again, she starts up again. "Even at lunch you totally lightened up when she showed up."

"You know how I am with new people," I shrug. I'm never a _total_ bitch to people I don't know completely well.

"Yeah, new people you like." True.

"I don't know," I tell her, trying to explain myself as quickly as I can. "When we were talking about Finn, Brittany told Rachel to do what makes her happy. Even if it's only temporary. And performing makes me happy. Even if it may not be my future, if it makes me happy for a few minutes, then, yeah," I shrug.

Quinn gives me the softest smile I've seen her give anyone in awhile.

"Yeah," she agrees. I stand up with my bag on my arm.

"I better get going," she says as she stands with me.

"Have fun tonight," I say as I give Quinn a hug. "Tell Puck I say hi."

"I will," she promises. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks.

"Mhm."

"And thank you," Quinn says as we exit my room. "You know, for giving me the place alone."

I smile and nod. I know she's grateful, but I feel like I should be the one thanking her. Thanks to Puck's little visit, I get a perfect excuse to see Brittany all night. And thanks to Rachel, I'll get to stay in Brittany's bed. I may be a cuddler, but I am _definitely _not a kicker.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

After Rachel, Brittany, and I get back from dinner, we flop down on the couch.

"Ugh," Rachel moans as she holds her belly. She ate her whole burrito, a first for her. Brittany lets out a cute giggle.

"It wasn't even that much food," I roll my eyes.

We sit on the couch quietly for a few minutes, digesting our mexican food. Dinner was nice. We filled Brittany in on Puck and Quinn and it turns out Rachel isn't as skeptical as I had expected her to be. Honestly though, I just think she doesn't want to judge Puck because she doesn't want to offend anyone and end up having people saying something bad about Finn. I'm sure she knows if we weren't supportive of Puck how much it could hurt Quinn, just like it would hurt her if we hated Finn.

Rachel's phone must have vibrated because she pulls it out of her skinny jeans and smiles at what I assume is a text message.

"What he say?" I ask, knowing only Finn could make her smile like that.

"He wants to get ice cream," she smiles without looking up from her phone.

"You won't be able to eat it!" Brittany says. I stifle a giggle as Rachel remembers how full she is.

"Go," I tell her. Rachel hesitantly nods.

"Yeah," she says. "Okay," she tries to convince herself.

Rachel smiles as she hops up and heads to her room. Our eyes follow Rachel into her room and we hear a few things shuffling around. She finally comes out with her purse.

"Don't stay out too late," I joke. "Ten o'clock, missy." Brittany giggles.

"It's already nine," she rolls her eyes. Brittany giggles a little more. "Bye guys," she smiles as she closes the door behind her.

"You two are funny," Brittany smiles.

"Eh," I shrug. "One of us more than the other," I joke. She laughs and stands up.

"Where are you going?" I ask as she starts walking away from the couch.

"I kind of want some ice cream now," she shrugs. "You want some?"

"Duh." I jump off the couch and follow Brittany into the kitchen. She's already opening up the freezer and pulling out vanilla and mint chocolate chip ice cream. She walks over to a pantry and instead of pulling out what I expect to be bowls, she pulls out chocolate sauce and sprinkles. Then she grabs whipped cream and cherries from the fridge.

She turns around to see my smiling face and she raises an eyebrow.

"What?" she asks.

"I haven't made an ice cream sundae since, like, middle school," I laugh. Brittany's eyes widen. Then she just shakes her head and turns back around to grab bowls and spoons.

"Vanilla or mint?" she asks. I stare at them for awhile.

"I love mint chocolate chip, but I think I want vanilla tonight. I want to put the toppings on," I tell her. She smiles and begins scooping me the vanilla. She slides the bowl over to me so I can start putting the syrup, sprinkles, whipped cream, and cherry on top.

"I get mint chocolate chip _with_ the toppings," she grins proudly, forcing a chuckle out of me. Brittany finishes making her ice cream, completely covered in whipped cream, and we put all the toppings away.

"Come on," she smiles as she walks towards her room. I follow her there and she plops down on the bed.

"O.C.?" She asks as she grabs her laptop.

"Yeah," I smile. I like that we have a thing, even if it is just a TV show.

She puts her laptop on the middle of the bed and I can't help but smile. She has a TV with a DVD player in her room. Watching on the laptop gives us an excuse to sit closer together, trying to get the best view on the tiny screen.

"So did you think about what song you were gonna sing yet?" she asks as she loads the disc.

"Nah, not really," I say as I swallow a spoonful. "I'll figure it out," I shrug, trying to stay calm.

Honestly, thinking about performing is making me pretty nervous.

"Are you nervous?" she asks, almost on cue.

"It's just been awhile," I say after a thoughtful pause.

"I get nervous," she confesses. "It's normal."

"_You _get nervous?" I ask, surprised. I never really got nervous in high school. I mean, sure, before the bigger competitions I did. But it was more a collective type of nerves. Like I was nervous for _all_ of us, not necessarily me.

"All the time!" She says. "Before I go on stage. Always. They don't go away until a few seconds into the performance. Then I kind of get lost in it, and I'm fine. The hard part isn't the actual performance, it's the hours building up to it," she says. "Building up the courage to fight the nerves and actually get on the stage."

I let out a deep breath as I stare at Brittany's blue eyes. "Yeah," I smile. "You're right."

Brittany just shrugs, like her words were pointless. But they weren't. They were exactly what I needed to here.

_Brittany_, a girl who looked more confident than anyone on that stage, was nervous. And she was the most talented one up there. So maybe it's okay if I'm nervous, too.

"I can't wait for it," she smiles. "You're gonna be amazing."

"Start the show," I roll my eyes. Brittany giggles as she scoots closer to me, eliciting a small shiver down my spine. She presses play and leans her back against the backboard.

"I'm so tired," she says while the theme song plays.

"_Somebody_ woke me up this morning," I joke.

"Yeah, at like ten o'clock," she rolls her eyes. "I was up at seven."

"For what?" I ask.

"I was practicing," she shrugs.

"So dedicated," I feign a dreamy voice. She elbows me as we fall silent and begin watching the show.

Some romantic scene leads to a hot make out session between Ryan and Marissa aka Mischa Barton. About halfway through the scene, and halfway done my ice cream, Brittany looks over to me.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asks.

My heart stops a little. Something about Brittany's soft expression makes it start again and calms me down.

"No," I say honestly. "Have you?" I'm almost nervous to hear the answer, I don't know why.

"Puppy love? Yeah, I think so. But real love? No," she sighs. "I mean, I thought I was in love at the time, but looking back some stuff just doesn't feel right."

Brittany almost looks sad, but I'm pretty positive that's not the emotion she's feeling.

I'm about to ask if she's okay when she takes a spoonful of her ice cream and starts talking again.

"Then how did you know?" She asks. "How did you know love was scary?"

"Hm?" I ask, confused on what she's talking about.

"When Rachel was upset, about Finn, she said love is scary. And you said 'I know'," she recalls.

"Oh," I remember. How did I know? Because that's how I feel right now. "I was just saying that," I lie with a shrug.

"Oh," she says with a hint of disappointment.

We both start watching the show again as we enjoy what's left of our ice cream. A pang of guilt hits me.

"I mean, I've felt it before," I admit. "Not love, but the feeling when you think you _could_ fall in love. I think it's pretty similar, knowing you could get hurt. So I said I know."

Brittany smiles at me, I think at my honesty.

"That part is scary," she agrees.

I take my last spoonful of ice cream and lean over to put it on the bedside table.

"But it's not just scary," Brittany says in a soft voice. "Its one of the greatest feelings in the world. A little fear just happens to come with it," she shrugs.

Brittany takes her last spoonful of ice cream and leans across my body to place her bowl on the table next to mine. My stomach swells as her stomach rests on mine.

"Sorry," she mutters as she starts to pull her body off of mine.

"It's okay," I breath. Part of me wants to hold her down so our bodies are always against each other like this.

She finally sits up and puts her head back against the backboard. I lean back too. Brittany's leg moves over the inch to close the gap between us. Her soft skin radiates heat against me.

"It's like stage fright," she shrugs. "Getting over the fear is the hard part."

I start to look at Brittany, staring intently at the screen.

She says such simple things. Not simple, straightforward. It's incredibly refreshing to hear someone be so honest and forward about everything. And what she says, it resonates with me. _Its on of the greatest feelings in the world. A little fear just happens to come with it. _She's so right. The feeling I'm getting, staring at her, it's amazing. And if fear has to be apart of that, then maybe that's the price to pay. Just like stage fright, I have to get over it.

Brittany's eyes flicker over to me as she sees me staring. As she turns her head towards me I can't help but giggle.

"What?" she asks with her perfect smile.

"You have a little something," I point to some chocolate syrup running from her upper chin to her lip.

Brittany lets her tongue slip out through her teeth as she glides it over her bottom lip. My eyes follow her tongue. She looks up at me expectantly.

"Nope," I giggle. "Still there."

She tries again, pushing down a little harder.

"Here," I say as I lick my thumb. I quickly sit up and get closer to Brittany. My heart starts pounding as my hand approaches her face. I gently press down on Brittany's chin with my thumb. I slowly slide it onto her lip and a giant chill hits my spine. Her lips are so soft and I can't help but think about kissing her. I hadn't realized how much I _really_ wanted to kiss her again until right now. I slowly pull my thumb off her lip as she looks up at me, both of us seemingly breathless.

"Got it," I mutter.

Brittany's lips crash into mine and my body shudders as my breath is taken away from me. Butterflies bang against my chest, begging to get out. Her lips start to close tighter around mine when she quickly pulls them away.

"I-I," she starts to say. I can hear her shaking in her breathless attempt to talk. "I didn't mean- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," she manages to say.

I try so hard to tell her it's okay but I can't manage to even move my mouth. I just stare. My heart is beating so fast and hard that I can feel it all through my body. I'm shaking, too. Even my insides.

"I'm sorry," she stutters again. Her voice is so soft and weak. "You know, not a lot of guys around at school, sometimes- I-"

My hand shoots up to the back of Brittany's neck as I pull her lips back onto mine. I don't think about what she's thinking, how she's feeling, if she wants to, or if she liked it. I forget about the fear. All of it. I go with my feeling. And hope. That's all I can do.

Brittany's lips crash against mine and after two long seconds I feel her body relax as she kisses me back. The butterflies never left, but now they intensify. Her lips melt against mine as she lets out a soft "hm." My body pulses. An electric current runs through me.

I don't want the kiss to end. Ever. But part of the reason is because I don't want to deal with her _not _being okay with this. A million questions start shooting through my head. The fear. It's back. The fear I need to get rid of shoots through me.

Brittany's hand finds it's way to my cheek, pulling our lips closer together and eradicating the fear and any questions I had. Rightly or wrongly, I decide Brittany wants to kiss me. I _feel_ that she wants to kiss me.

The chills she's giving me take over as I push my lips harder into Brittany.

To prove I'm not imagining Brittany's feelings, I feel the blonde's lips form into a smile against mine. I can't help but mimic her smile as I kiss her back, giving me the most unbelievable feeling I swore people only dreamt of.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Apologizing in advance for cutting you off there!

Bad news! I leave for vacation on friday until the 29th! If we are lucky, I will be able to update ONE more time by friday but I don't know how likely that is because of work. I PROMISE I will definitely make it up to you all when I return!

Thanks again for all of your support and reviews! Xoxo

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	10. Nothing

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana meets Brittany at the coffee shop and Brittany convinces her to sign up to perform at a show next week_

_-They meet up with Quinn and Rachel so Quinn can tell the girls Puck is on his way to visit_

_-Santana volunteers to sleep out so Quinn can have to apartment to herself and Brittany volunteers to let her sleep with her_

_-Rachel goes out to ice cream with Finn, leaving the girls alone_

_-The eat ice cream while watching the O.C. in Brittany's bed and chit chat about love and such _

_-Santana wipes some remaining ice cream off of Brittany's lip and after a short pause Brittany kisses her_

_-Brittany pulls away flustered and begins apologizing but Santana quickly pulls her back into a kiss_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

My stomach flips as Brittany's smile closes softly around my lips. Everything around us evaporates and I swear I feel like we're the only people on the planet. She holds her lips against mine while her hand slowly drags off my cheek, intensifying the chill down my spine. Her lips close around mine before she pulls them off of mine.

I let out a sharp breath as my body shudders. Our foreheads rest against each others as I try to catch my breath.

I don't open my eyes. I don't want this perfect moment to end, and I'm worried as soon as I open them, reality will set in. The feeling will be gone and I'll wake up from this beautiful dream. My heart is pounding so hard that I can feel my shirt lifting up and down with my chest.

The only thing calming me at all is Brittany's breath, audible and warm against my lips. It's almost as choppy as mine. I take one last deep breath before I begin to open my eyes.

Her piercing blue eyes are staring right at me with a soft expression. The blue comforter surrounding us only makes her eyes seem even bluer.

Neither of us move for what feels like eternity.

Slowly but surely, Brittany's lips turn upward into a small smile. Her lightness returns and I can't help but smile along with her. I don't show any teeth, but I know my eyes are really smiling. Brittany's eyes are sparkling and they release even more butterflies in my stomach.

But she doesn't say anything. Her smile grows as she bashfully looks down towards her hands averting my gaze. Brittany begins lowering herself down the bed and she places her head directly on my chest, closer to me than she has ever cuddled. Her arm wraps completely around my stomach and tightly squeezes.

I shift down a little so I can get a better view of her. She's still smiling, even bigger than before, and her cheeks are noticeably red.

Her head is slightly rising up and down and I realize my chest is what's lifting it. Partly from my breathing, partly from my heartbeat. It's hammering in my chest and I'm absolutely positive she can feel it.

I should say something. Anything. But I can't. Something is blocking my throat.

Maybe it's better this way. Anything I say is going to lead to some sort of discussion about what just happened, and I don't want it to possibly ruin this moment or how I'm feeling. If it means talking about it later so I can enjoy this right now, maybe that's better.

My fingers slowly tickle up and down Brittany's bare arm. My stomach is still pulsing and my heart is still pounding, minutes after the kiss has ended. My cheeks are beginning to hurt from fighting off this smile.

Brittany's thumbs draw little circles on my stomach over my shirt. Wherever her finger touches leaves a blazing trail on my skin.

How the hell did this happen? All of this. I thought the first kiss was amazing, but this was incredible. Probably because she isn't drunk and I know she has to be aware of what she's doing. And there's no Sam. It's just us. She kissed me, too, didn't she? I just can't believe this is happening. How did this happen?

But that's not what I'm really thinking about. I'm thinking about how I'm feeling. Nothing has ever made me feel like that. Never. I didn't even know it was possible to feel that way. Like I'm on top of the world. Like I'm invincible. All from a fricking kiss.

Brittany's thumb slowly stops circling against my skin and I lift my head up for a second and see her eyes fighting to stay open. Seconds later, they flutter shut and I allow my smile to spread wider. Until this moment, I don't think I've truly realized how beautiful she is. It's like that kiss opened my eyes. Well, maybe not opened my eyes, because I saw how pretty she was before. But maybe it gave me glasses. Everything is so much clearer, and things that seemed beautiful before are intensified. Even her skin. It always had a glow to it, but right now it almost looks magical.

Brittany's breathing changes and I realize she's asleep.

The computer is still on and we aren't even under the covers. But if I move, I'll wake Brittany. I decide I'll just hold her tighter and keep her warm. I let the computer play the episodes as I close my eyes, taking in the moment.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Mm," Brittany hums as her head nuzzles against my chest. I slowly open my eyes and quickly see that hers are still shut.

I smile immediately, remembering last night. My mouth tingles a little, feeling her lips against mine. A warmth shoot through me as I realize we're under the covers. The computer is gone, too. Brittany must have woken up, moved the computer, and tucked us in. Then, cuddled right back up to me.

I let out a relieved sigh when I realize she couldn't have regretted the kiss when she woke up. Otherwise, she wouldn't have cuddled back up to me, right?

Brittany shifts a little against me, probably from my sigh, and slowly eases herself off of me.

"Good morning," she groans as she opens her eyes.

"Morning," I smile. I can't help but let out a soft laugh. She looks totally disoriented. It's cute.

"Did you tuck us in?" I ask. Brittany nods sheepishly as she sits up against her backboard.

"You looked cold," she shrugs. "I hope that's okay."

"Of course," I smile. I can't remember the last time someone tucked me in.

"We finished season one," Brittany smiles.

"Huh?" I ask.

"Of the O.C.," she smiles. "We've already finished season one."

"Woah, really?" I ask. I have to call Sugar. It's kind of rude of me, really, to not have called yet.

"Mhm," Brittany smiles. "I have season two, though. So you don't have to buy it. You can just borrow mine," she tells me.

"Or I can just watch it with you," I suggest. Brittany smiles like a child way too excited for Christmas morning.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"Yeah," I smile.

She stands up out of bed and I can't help but check out her legs. They're really sexy, even when she's in boxer shorts and a bare feet. I start to feel a little strange. I've never really had these strong of sexual feelings from such simple things. Is this even normal? I quickly shake the thought. Of course it's normal.

"I'm starving," Brittany groans as she walks towards her door. "You coming?" she asks.

I quickly nod and follow the blonde towards the kitchen.

"Oh!" She squeals as she opens her pantry. "Frosted Cheerios!"

"My favorite!" I skip over excitedly. I'm not usually the one to food shop for Quinn and I. We normally don't even have that much food in our apartment. But I'm easy going and let Quinn pick out what she wants. I always forget to ask for what I want, too. So we never have stuff I love, like this.

Brittany grabs us bowls and spoons as I grab the milk. We sit up at the counter and I begin to pour the cereal in when the apartment door creaks. Someone slowly closes it behind them as Brittany and I crane our necks back to see through the open doorway.

"Berry?" I let out a loud laugh. Rachel's face drops as she looks up at us, totally caught. "No way," I laugh in disbelief.

Rachel sighs as she tosses her bag down on the couch and walks into the kitchen with her head down.

"Aren't those the clothes she left in?" Brittany asks me under her breath.

"Ladies and gentleman," I announce, "the walk of shame!"

"Shut up," Rachel shoots me a glare. "And not true!" She quickly adds.

"No?" I tease, clearly not believing her.

"We didn't, you know," she mumbles. "We were just talking and I fell asleep."

"Oh," I say. Rachel nods, looking relieved.

"So I suppose you got that hickey on the way home from some stranger?" I joke.

Rachel's hand shoots up to her neck and Brittany stifles a giggle.

"Okay, so we made out a little," she confesses.

"I'm just playing," I laugh. "So it went well, then?"

"Yeah," she smiles. "We were just talking while we got ice cream, you know, about normal stuff. It was like we were never apart. And I felt so comfortable. And then, as we were leaving, and I was about to go home, he kissed me," she blushes. "And it was just like we never missed a beat."

"Yay!" Brittany chants. Rachel and I both giggle a little.

"So he asked if I wanted to go over a talk a little more, and he meant it too. We talked for like three hours. And then we kissed some more, yeah, but that's it!"

I nod, happy but still a little skeptical. I just don't want her to get hurt, I guess.

"How was your night?" Rachel asks. "You have fun?" I know Rachel isn't asking it to mean anything, but my face heats up. At the same time, I feel Brittany's eyes fall on me. When I look at Rachel, I see her brow crease as she looks at us.

"Y-yeah," I stutter. "I had a lot of fun," I confess in a stronger voice.

"Same," Brittany smiles at me. I lean back down to shovel some cereal in my mouth but Brittany continues to smile at me.

"Well," Rachel says, and Brittany's eyes shoot away. "How do you think Puck and Quinn are doing?"

"I forgot about that," I confess.

"We'll see them at dinner I guess. You guys are going, right?" She asks.

"I guess," I say. Brittany nods along.

"I gotta shower," Rachel says as she begins to leave.

"Shoot, what time is it?" Brittany asks as her head shoots to the clock. 11:34.

"Already eleven?" She mutters. "I told a girl from class I'd help her for an audition. I gotta go," she says as she stumbles out of the kitchen towards her room.

"On second thought," Rachel smiles, "my shower can wait."

I roll my eyes as she sits down beside me in Brittany's seat. I don't say anything, I just continue to eat my cereal.

Seconds later, Brittany sprints out of the room and screams bye before slamming the door behind her.

Rachel continues to gaze at me until I finally moan.

"Ugh, what?" I bark.

"Nothing," she smiles.

"Go shower."

"Not yet," she says. "Why was she looking at you like that?" Rachel asks.

"Like what?" I ask, suddenly curious. Maybe I should be annoyed that Rachel's so into my business, but I don't have anyone else talking about this with me.

"I don't know, she was just smiling at you like- like," Rachel stops. "She was staring at your lips."

"She was just watching me eat," I shrug.

Rachel's eyebrows crease. Was she really staring at my lips?

"But you had fun?" Rachel asks as she stands up. I think it's clear I don't want to talk, so Rachel decides to give me some space.

"Yeah," I nod as I begin to slurp up the remaining milk from my bowl. It's my favorite. The sugar from the cheerios mixes with the milk and makes it all sweet.

"Good," Rachel smiles. She takes one long look at me before she starts to turn away.

"Wait," I say as I snatch her wrist in my hand.

"Hm?" She says as she turns back towards me.

I swallow the lump in my throat and shake my head back and forth. I don't know how long the pause is, but it's long enough for Rachel to say, "What?" again.

"We kissed," I blurt out. Rachel's mouth widens. I can't believe I just told her that. I just- I needed to tell someone. I can't believe it happened and how I felt and now I don't know what to do about it and I just- I needed to get it off my chest.

Rachel lets out a choppy breath. "You kissed?" She repeats. I nod. "Santana!" she squeals as she throws her arms around me again. She's so dramatic.

"What? Tell me everything!" She sits back down.

I shake my head and close my eyes, remembering every detail perfectly.

"I mean, we were watching the O.C. and eating ice cream. And then she was asking about love and stuff. And then she had some ice cream on her lip. And I-"

"You kissed her!" Rachel blurts out in disbelief.

"No!" I correct her. "I- I wiped the ice cream off her lip, with my thumb, because she couldn't get it." I stop when I see Rachel's shocked face. "But then she kissed me!" I say flustered.

"How was it?" She smiles softly.

"Great! Until she pulled away! Then she started apologizing and got all nervous."

"What did you say?" She asks.

"Nothing," I breath. "I just, I kissed her."

Rachel lets out a high pitched squeal as she covers her mouth with her hands.

Rachel tries to hug me again but I push her arms off mine.

"Stop that," I chuckle. "But seriously," I say as my face falls. "It was perfect. But-"

"But what?" She asks confused.

"We haven't said anything about it."

"Nothing?" She asks.

"Nothing."

"What did you say after you guys kissed?"

"_Nothing_," I say again. "Literally _nothing_." Rachel's eyes narrow. "She smiled. Then cuddled up to me and fell asleep."

"Aw," Rachel smiles. I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, it was nice then, but now what?" I say with edge. "After she kissed me, she said something about her school. About how there weren't a lot of available guys so sometimes- I don't know, maybe they did this kind of thing for fun! What if that's all that was to her-"

"San, calm down," Rachel tries. "Try to talk to her. I mean, chances are if she kissed you she _wanted_ to kiss you."

I sigh. I guess that makes sense.

I slap my forehead and Rachel laughs.

"What was that about?"

"She's got me going insane," I shake my head. "Listen to me, I sound like _you_."

"I know," Rachel giggles. "I love it."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"It's about time," Sugar's voice booms through the phone.

"I'm sorry!" I chuckle. "I meant to call!"

"Better late then never, I guess."

I smile as I sit down on Brittany's bed, tightening my towel around me. I got in the shower right after Rachel got out and decided I had to call Sugar before I forgot to.

"Well, season one down."

"Already?" She squeals. "Oh my gosh I'm so proud!" She gushes. "Is it _not_ the best thing you've ever seen? Do you love it? Or do you love it? And Seth Cohen? Are you in love?"

"I love it," I laugh.

"Did it change your life?" she asks, dead serious.

I stop as my mind drifts to Brittany. Did the O.C. change my life? It kind of feels like maybe it has. Not in the way Sugar means, but it's what brought Brittany and I together in a way. So I can't help but feel like maybe it did, or _will_ change my life. I smile and immediately feel in debt to Sugar.

"Completely," I confess. "Thank you so much," I tell her sincerely.

"Of course!" She smiles. "I can bring season two if I visit or mail it to you?" she offers.

"That's okay," I tell her. "My friend," I pause, deciding if that's what I call her. "She has all four seasons."

"Who?" She asks.

"Rachel's new roommate," I tell her. "Brittany."

"Sounds like I'd like her," she says.

"You would. But you still have to come visit!"

"Duh. So Finn and Rachel?" She asks.

"Quinn and Puck, too," I tell her.

"What?" She squeals. "What the fuck are you with Sam again, too?"

"No," I laugh.

"What the hell is that about?"

"I don't know," I confess. "I still think Finn was a huge douche lord, but he seems kind of sincere this time. But I haven't seen Puck yet. I'm going to dinner with them tonight."

"You better call me," She says. "What's your deal?" She asks. "Any hot New Yorkers in your life?"

My mind immediately turns to Brittany.

"Nah," I tell her. "Riding solo. I haven't met any guys worthy enough," I joke.

The door opens and Brittany walks in, hair in a ponytail and her forehead glistening with sweat.

"You'll find one," Sugar says.

Brittany smiles at me shyly and I realize I'm still in my towel. And on her bed.

"San?" Sugar's voice calls through the phone.

"Oh, sorry," I stammer. I must have missed what she was saying when Brittany walked in. "I gotta go," I tell her. "We'll talk soon."

"Let me know about Puck and Quinn? Love ya! Mwah!"

"Love you too," I laugh as I hang up.

"Hi," I smile to Brittany.

"Hey," she smiles.

"How was dance?" I ask.

"Good," she says. Brittany nonchalantly removes her workout tank, revealing her hot pink sports bra. My stomach squirms as my eyes fall over her bare abs. Her body is perfect.

She searches through her drawers for some clean clothes.

"So there are no worthy guys in New York?" Brittany jokes.

My face reddens. "I was messing," I tell her. "That was my friend from home. She thinks I should have a new guy like every week." Brittany smiles. "She's actually the one who sent me the O.C."

"Oh," she says in recognition. "Nice."

Brittany lightly walks around the room, searching for something, I think a shirt.

"You need help?" I ask.

"Nah," She smiles. "Just finding clothes for tonight."

"Oh right," I say. "I better grab mine." I stand up and walk over towards my small bag and pull out the only clothes I brought for tonight, dark skinny jeans and a loose cream short sleeved shirt.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower," she says as she leaves the room.

I feel like I should feel awkward after that. Our conversation was short. But something about Brittany's presence is so calming and comfortable. She's probably just tired.

I change into my outfit and shake my hair dry in my towel. When I flick my towel off my hair it knocks against her dresser and a book falls onto the floor. Out falls a photo of a little girl, covered in make up in a pink tutu. I giggle at her rosy cheeks and lipsticked-stained teeth.

"What's that?" Brittany's voice startles me.

"Oh, uh, sorry," I blush. "It fell down. I didn't-"

"Aw," She smiles. "Troy!"

"Troy?" I ask. Brittany walks over and leans down next to me to pick up the photo.

"That's my sister," she smiles.

"What? No way," say. "I totally thought that was you!"

She giggles. "Yeah. She's my mini-me."

Brittany stands up and lifts the book with her. It's not till then that I realize she's still in her towel. My heart stops for a quick second before I stand up with her. She sits down on the edge of her bed and opens the book, revealing pages and pages of pictures. She starts smiling as she looks at all the pics. I slowly walk over towards her, completely curious.

"Can I?" I ask after a moment.

"Oh yeah!" She smiles as she pats the spot on the bed next to her.

I sit down as my arm rubs against her bare and still wet arm. She points to the first picture on the page.

"That's Troy last year," she says. The blonde girl bares a striking resemblance to her big sister. She's on a swing in some park smiling the same way Brittany does. Her eyes are just as blue.

"She's so cute," I tell her.

"That's my Dad," she smiles proudly as she points to the next picture. A tall, fit man with light brown hair and blue-green eyes is smiling with his arms around a pretty Brittany. His arms are big. And he looks young. There are clear signs of aging, but he looks younger than my Dad. He's handsome, too.

Brittany giggles at a picture of Jeremy and her laying upside down on a couch.

She turns the page and a picture from a high school dance is in the upper right corner. Brittany looks flawless in a gold dress that falls mid-thigh. But she's in the arms of some guy. I look at the boy. His pushed up brown hair and brown eyes match perfectly with his tone, tanned, skin. Simply put, he's gorgeous.

"Is that-"

"Ryan," she breaths, confirming the boy in the picture is in fact her ex-boyfriend.

"He's really cute," I admit. It almost makes me angry how good looking he is.

"Yeah," she shrugs. She quickly moves on though.

Brittany's smile returns quickly. "That's my mom."

I look back down to the photo. A baby Brittany sits on her Mom's lap on a small couch.

"She's beautiful," I whisper. Brittany has her eyes. And her hair. And her skin. And her lips.

"Yeah," she grins.

We look through a few more photos, ones with her grandparents and ones from old dance recitals. Then Brittany looks up at me.

"What are your parents like?" She asks.

"My parents?" I repeat as I think about her question. She nods.

"You don't-" she starts.

"I'm really close with my mom," I tell her. "She's strong, supportive, and understanding. But she has the tough side like me. My Dad," I shrug. "He's kind of conservative."

Brittany's looking so intently at me. I've never had someone so interested in hearing about my life. It's almost intimidating.

"He- I love him and all, but he kind of screwed over my Mom. When I was in eighth grade I ran into him out to lunch with some woman. I thought it was from work, so I didn't think anything of it. But he thought I caught him. So he told my Mom before I could. For a full year, my Mom let him slide. Neither of them told me. I guess it was some affair," I shrug. But I don't guess. I know. He had an affair for a year before I caught him. And he kept doing it for a year after. I just still hate admitting it. "Then they got divorced my freshman year. I didn't know at the time what had happened. My mom tried to protect me. She wanted us to have a happy, normal family that she never got to have. But I knew they were fighting a lot more. So it wasn't totally out of the blue," I say.

"I'm so sorry," she says as she grabs my hand with both of hers. As she does it, her towel slips a little revealing the beginning of her chest, shaking my chest. She quickly grabs the towel and tucks it under her arm. Then she places her hand back on mine.

"It's okay," I tell her. "Thanks."

"Are you close with your Dad?" She asks.

"Well, I was. But I could never look at him the same after I found out. And he doesn't really like me performing. I mean as a career," I confess.

Brittany's face looks like something clicks.

"So that's why-"

"Partly," I nod. I've never told anyone that, either. That I'd let my Dad's opinions about performing determine what I do.

"I'm sorry," she says again. "That must be hard."

I shrug.

"By the way, did you think about what song you were gonna sing?" She asks.

"I haven't figured it out yet," I say.

"You better hurry!" She urges. "It's in four days!"

"Yeah," I laugh. "I live for pressure."

Brittany shivers a little.

"You should get changed," I smile. She giggles.

"Yeah, probably." She stands up and walks towards her dresser. With her back to me, she lowers her towel and tucks in around her waist, exposing her bare back. She clips on her bra. My heartbeat picks up from the look of her skin.

"I have a question," she asks softly. It's a quiet tone. Gentle, too.

"Yeah?"

"Did you actually have fun last night?" Her words are surprisingly fragile.

"Huh? Yeah, of course," I say, confused as to why I wouldn't have. Brittany lets out a breath that seems relieved.

"I have a question," I ask now. As fragile as her voice was, I know mine is probably even more fragile.

"Yeah?" she says turning towards me. Her chest is pushed up by her bra and my stomach flips. It's harder to speak and I'm relieved when she turns back around to pull her v-neck shirt on.

"Do you- have you done that? Do you usually do that?" I ask as quickly as I can before she can turn around and take my breath away.

"Huh?" She asks, confused. She turns to face me and I freeze up.

"I mean," My voice is strained and I try to calm it. "You said, after we, you know." My voice is a whisper and I can't keep my eyes on her. "Something about sometimes at school there weren't a lot of guys so, you-" my voice trails off because I think she can figure out the rest.

"Oh," she mutters. "I- I've kissed a girl before," she confesses sheepishly. "Girls at my school did it a lot when there weren't guys around. So I tried it once." Now her eyes are averting my gaze.

"It's okay," I tell her with a smile. I can see how uneasy she is.

"Have you?" She asks.

"Kissed a girl?" I ask. She nods. I shake my head.

"Just you," I finally breath.

Brittany pulls on underwear underneath her towel and then drops it, revealing her legs.

"I guess I'm pretty special then," Brittany says with a light laugh. She's clearly joking. But she doesn't know how right she is. I smile back at her.

"So then," Brittany starts what seems to be a question. But she doesn't say anything after that. I think she's figuring out how to word something. She pulls on white shorts and turns to face me.

There's a knock on the door on Brittany almost looks relieved.

"Yeah?"

Rachel swings open the door and smiles. "You guys almost ready?"

"Yeah," Brittany says. "Just let me put my hair up."

Rachel plops down on the bed next to me as Brittany combs through her hair.

"I'm excited!" Rachel shrieks.

"Me too," I confess. "I can't wait to see how their night went."

Brittany quickly braids her hair to the side and turns back towards us.

"I'm ready," she smiles.

Rachel stands up and heads to the door. I follow shortly behind but am stopped suddenly in the doorway by a tug on my hand. Brittany grips me tightly.

"I- I don't want you to think that's what that was. Because I needed to release... you know. I mean, unless that's what you- I- never mind," she says flustered.

"San? Brit?" Rachel calls from the living room.

"Coming!" Brittany calls. "I'll just- I'll ask you later," Brittany sighs as her hand slowly slips out of mine.

"No-" I try to correct.

"No," she says with a smile. "It's fine. Later," she promises.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! I'm back! This week is going to be a little hectic because of work and I have a friend staying with me for two days. But hopefully I can get a lot of writing done tomorrow. But after friday of this week work is over and updates will be very very frequent!

Let me know what you think!

Xoxo

.com


	11. Bold

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Brittany pulls away from the kiss and smiles at Santana but they say nothing, she just cuddles up to sleep next to her_

_-When alone, Santana confesses to Rachel that they kissed but admits she's worried Brittany only kissed her for fun not with feelings_

_-Santana calls Sugar and Brittany interrupts the phone call_

_-While Brittany is in the shower, Santana knocks over a photo album and when she returns the girls look through Brittany's family photos_

_-She asks Santana about her family and Santana fills her in_

_-Brittany asks if Santana actually had fun last night and then Santana asks her if she normally kisses girls_

_-Brittany tries to reassure Santana that she wasn't just kissing her for fun but has trouble getting the words out_

_-Brittany wants to ask Santana something, but first they're off to dinner with Puck, Sam, Finn, Quinn, and Rachel_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I love Maggiano's!" Brittany squeals after Rachel tells her where we're headed. We make a left at the corner and walk down the block towards the restaurant.

"Me too," Rachel smiles. "Their bread is delicious!"

"I like drawing on the tables," Brittany smiles. Rachel giggles a little.

"You sound like Santana!"

"What?" I spit out. "I've never said that," I say almost defensively. I don't know why, though. I think it's super cute that Brittany likes to draw on the tables. The tables are all covered with a huge sheet of white paper instead of table cloth. They give you a pack of crayons and you can draw all over while you wait for the food. It's made for kids, but I can guarantee most adults like it more.

"You didn't have to say it," Rachel smiles. "You spend entire dinners doodling on the table, tuning all of us out."

I shrug a little, realizing how right Rachel is. Brittany giggles as she looks over at me and I can't help but smile. Rachel's walking in between us, and I'm kind of glad. Brittany is making me kind of anxious. I'm pretty positive Brittany was trying to tell me she wasn't just kissing me like she kissed the other girls. You know, just as a thing to do. But she couldn't really talk clearly and she seemed to get flustered, so I'm not sure that's what she meant. Then Rachel walked in. My heart hasn't stopped pounding since them. In fact, when we got to the bottom of the stairs Rachel made a joke about me being out of shape since my breath was pretty heavy. But I just can't get rid of the rush that Brittany possibly _feeling _something is giving me.

I can't stop thinking about that kiss. Is Brittany gay? She could be bi, too. Or, worst case scenario, she could be totally straight. She could be a completely straight girl who got totally caught up in the moment.

We walk kind of quietly the rest of the way. Well at least I do. I'm pretty sure Brittany and Rachel are chatting but I'm completely zoned out. In fact, I almost run into the door when we get there.

"Woah, watch out," Brittany says as she snatches my hand in hers, pulling me away from the glass door Rachel is propping open. I stop in my tracks before my forehead completely runs into the open door.

"You alright?" Rachel mutters under her breath with a giggle.

"Sorry," I mutter. "Thanks," I smile at Brittany. My lips turn into a slight frown though as she slips her hand out of mine.

"Of course," she smiles and turns into the restaurant.

Our eyes scan the restaurant until Rachel finally hits my arm.

"There," she says, pointing to a table in the back.

We maneuver through the tables and when we come into their view, Puck jumps to his feet and meets me halfway.

"Hey, you," I giggle as Puck scoops me into his arms. We're both laughing a good amount as I land back on my feet.

"How are you?" We both ask at the same time. We giggle some more. He moves on to hug Rachel, and they have a similar but a little less enthusiastic embrace. Puck and I have always been silly together.

"This is Brittany," Rachel says as she points to her. She's smiling there nervously, her one arm crossed against her chest.

"Hi, I'm Puck," He smiles as he goes in for a bold hug. That's how I know things went well with Quinn. He's in a great mood. If things hadn't gone well, Puck would not be this happy. He doesn't pretend to be happy for anyone.

"Nice to meet you," she smiles. The two of them have a short conversation while I greet the rest of the group.

"Went well?" I whisper as I hug Quinn. By her big grin, I already know the answer.

She nods furiously and I slap her on the butt.

"Atta girl," I smile. Quinn squeals a little but chuckles back.

I turn around and smile when Sam pulls me into a hug.

"Hi!" I smile. I haven't seen him in awhile. Or even heard from him. Not since the party. Oh God. The party.

By the time I pull away he's already eyeing Brittany and ready to hug the girl. It's almost calming to see a little uneasiness in Brittany's eyes. I don't think they've seen each other since the kiss.

As they pull away from the hug, Brittany's eyes fall to her feet and she slowly slips past Sam to take the seat in between me and Quinn. Sam disappointedly eyes the empty seat next to him but eventually shrugs and takes his seat next to me.

"How's work?" I ask him. He quickly smiles, I think at being recognized, and begins blabbering.

"It's so cool! I mean, not my job, I've been making coffee runs and organizing files and shit, but watching people record and mix tracks, it's awesome!" He's smiling so big. "It makes me want to be apart of it in any way I can. Even if it is just getting them their caffeine," He shrugs.

"That's awesome," I smile.

The waitress brings us all waters and Quinn quickly orders some big appetizer tray.

"How's LA?" I ask Puck seated across from me.

"Pretty sweet," he says. "You guys have got to come visit. It's really beautiful out there. The ocean is sick," he admits.

"Pool business still running smoothly?" Rachel asks.

"Yeah," he smiles. "The pools are a _lot_ nicer out there, so I have to work harder. But they're always open, not just in the summer. And they pay a lot more, too."

Right then I know Puck is really into Quinn right now. He doesn't mention hot moms once. He doesn't even hint at the possibility of a MILF. I can't help but smile and I notice Quinn is too.

"So you're staying?" I ask. Puck shrugs and a sadder look takes over his face. I see him and Quinn slightly eye each other.

"For now," he says. "The business is just getting going."

"How's Mercedes?" Sam asks quickly. "I miss that girl. You see her?"

"Hung out with her right before I came here," he admits. "She said to say hi to you guys. She's gonna make it," he smiles. "She's been killing it on the background tracks. You gotta hear some of it."

I decide I have to Skype Mercedes ASAP. I miss her, too.

"What's that?" I smile at Brittany. She blushes a little as I move her hand, still gripping a crayon, out of the way.

A giant red heart is perfectly shaded with a read crayon. I pick up the black crayon and draw a little arrow shooting through the heart. Brittany giggles a little and starts to draw smaller red hearts around the bigger one. Then she starts to draw a short little cartoon guy below the large hearts. He's really good. I giggle a little and at the squashed version of what looks like Puck.

"He kinda looks like Puck," I tell her. Brittany eyes her doodle and then eyes Puck. I quickly pick up the brown crayon and start to draw a little mohawk and him. When Brittany looks down she can't help but laugh. She draws Puck's black wife beater on and starts defining his muscles. She turns his mouth into a smug look.

"Now it looks like Puck," she laughs. I quickly pick up the pink crayon and start drawing Quinn, her arms wrapped around Puck's sides. I'm about to draw Quinn's head when Brittany hits my arm out of the way and steals the crayon from my arm. She draws Quinn's head so it's facing Puck's and makes cartoon Quinn give Puck a kiss on the cheek. I burst out laughing as she draws little hearts surrounding their heads.

"What's that?" Sam peeks over when he hears us cracking up.

I move my hand out of the way and Sam starts cracking up.

"That's hilarious! Did you draw that?" He looks up at Brittany.

"With some help," she nudges me. For some reason her touch makes me blush.

"Yes!" Puck grins when the waitress brings over our platter. There's garlic bread, some meatballs, mozzarella sticks, and fried zucchini.

They pass around plates and we all take our share of food. As I look across from me, I see Finn feeding Rachel a mozzarella stick and a disgusted look must cross my face because Sam nudges me with his elbow.

"You got a crush on Finn or something?" He clearly jokes.

"Shut up," I mutter.

"What he ever do to you?" He's barely talking above a whisper. I look around the table to see if anyone's listening. Only Brittany is paying enough attention to see that we're even talking.

"Nothing," I shrug. "But I hate that he thinks he can just come back here and fix everything with Rachel. He wasn't here when she cried all first semester. I was," I bite. "He took a break to get with whoever he wanted, and now he's back when he's out of options-"

"San," Sam cuts me off.

"I just don't want him to hurt her again when he leaves to hook up with randies."

"He didn't get with anyone!" Sam whisper shouts.

"What?" I shake my head.

"He didn't get with anyone," he repeats. "All year. No one. Well, he kissed a girl once. He didn't break up with Rachel to get with other girls. He really thought he was helping her. He knew she'd be worried about what he was doing and when they were gonna see each other if they did a long distance thing. He wanted her to focus on school."

"He probably didn't get with anyone because he didn't have any options."

Sam rolls his eyes. "He may not be your type," Sam starts. He doesn't know how right that is. _Definitely_ not my type. "But he had _plenty _of options," Sam says. I must not look convinced. "Santana, he's the backup quarterback. As a freshman, that's impressive. He's big. He can sing. You know he's a good guy," he says. I sigh. Sam's right. He would have a lot of options. Girls are dumb.

"But he kissed one girl all year. And he fucking cried after it. Don't you dare tell him I told you that," Sam quickly adds. "He wasted his freshman year being depressed about that girl."

I look back up at the two love birds. The way he's looking at her. I know he cares. Maybe he's a better guy than I thought. Maybe I should cut him some slack.

"Anyway, do we order here or what?" Sam asks looking around for a waitress. He looks a little worried. Like he said more than he should have.

I chuckle a little. "It's family style," I tell him. "They already ordered for us. We share everything."

Sam nods in recognition. Then he quickly leans into my ear to whisper something.

"By the way, has Brittany said anything about me?" My heart stops a little as I look over at the blonde to see if she's watching. She's drawing on the table again.

"Not that I remember," I tell Sam lightly. "Have you talked to her?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "We texted a little. But only friendly stuff. Nothing more," he says, disappointed.

"Just, let me know if she says anything," he says. I nod and turn back towards Brittany.

"What are you doing?" I giggle when I see about seven of Brittany's signatures scrawled on the table.

"Practicing my signature," she shrugs. "You know, for when I'm famous," she smiles at me. "You should probably get practicing, too," she says. "You know, after your performance this weekend, you'll be signing plenty of them."

"Shut up," I giggle.

"Lemme see," she says as she hands me a crayon. I scribble out Santana Lopez in my pretty cursive and Brittany's face lights up.

"You're meant to be famous," she grins. I roll my eyes.

"Wanna watch the O.C. tonight?" she asks. "My favorite episodes are coming up and I'm super excited to watch."

"Yeah," I smile. "I'll probably be spending the night again," I say, nodding towards Quinn, whose whispering something into Puck's ear with a smirk.

Brittany laughs. "Good."

"Food!" Finn chants as two waitresses bring over a few of our platters. A different waiter brings us each a fresh plate. After I have a piece of chicken parm on my plate, some spaghetti and mashed potatoes, I begin to eat. The conversation somehow turns to my performance on Saturday and how excited everyone is.

"Not yet," I say with a mouthful when Sam asks if I picked a song yet.

"What are you waiting for!" Rachel squeals. "I have to help you! Tonight! Please?"

"Tomorrow," I mutter.

"You need to know-"

"Tomorrow," I say again.

"Fine," she sighs.

Suddenly I feel Brittany's hand on my knee and my stomach twists. It's under the table so I can't see it, I can only feel it. I turn to face her but she was clearly in the midst of leaning into to whisper something in my ear. My cheek bone bangs against the entire left side of her face.

"Ow," I mutter. "Sorry!" We both say at the same time before we burst out laughing. When we finally stop laughing, I look back up at her red face.

"Were you going to say something?" I ask.

"Never mind," she mutters as she continues eating her pasta.

We're all quiet while we eat. I finish my plate a little early and decide to excuse myself to the bathroom. Quinn stands up almost immediately to follow. I wait until we're in the clear to ask.

"What happened?" I finally squeal. Quinn giggles as she grabs my hand and pulls me into the ladies room.

"Perfect!" She cries. "Perfect!"

"Slow down," I laugh. "What happened?"

"When I picked him up, we just hugged, and it felt so comfortable. Then dinner was so good. Catching up. I missed him so much. He's so funny. And he matured so much! But he's still goofy."

"Good," I cut her off. She nods.

"But then we went back to our place. And we suddenly got kind of awkward," she says softer. "We sat on the couch for awhile and just watched TV and talked. But we didn't know if we should cuddle or kiss or what. Then finally, I just said, screw it. I actually said that!" She brags. "Out loud! I said it and I kissed him!"

I can't help but laugh at Quinn's giddiness. I've literally _never_ seen her this giddy. She's like a small child about to ride the best roller coaster ever and then receive a giant bag of candy.

"And we made out for like an hour. And it felt so right-"

"So you fucked."

"No!" escapes her throat in a high pitched tone. "We were starting to get carried away," she whispers suggestively, "and actually, Puck stopped us. He said he really wanted to. But- he thought we should wait. You know, to be sure it wasn't just in the moment. For me, he meant."

"Woah, woah, woah," I say quickly. "Hold up. Puck _waited_ for sex, willingly? His idea?"

Quinn nods with a grin.

"Wow," I breath. "I guess he did mature."

Quinn smiles and I can't help but hug her.

"I guess I'll spend the night out again," I tell her.

"No, San. You don't have to. It's okay."

"No," I tell her with a smile. "It's not big deal. I'm perfectly fine with it."

"How was your night?" She asks. My face flushes as I immediately think about the kiss.

"Good," I say quickly. "Just watched some TV, you know."

"Finn and Rach seem good," she observes.

"Yeah," I say. "I think I'm warming up to the idea of them."

"Same," she smiles. "If Puck can change that much I think Finn can," she laughs.

We both use the restroom and quickly return to the table. Most the plates are cleared and Brittany's doodling again. Sam's talking to her, and she's answering, but she isn't looking up.

I sit down in between them and Sam smiles.

"Brittany is drawing me," he grins.

I look over and a cartoon Sam is grinning wide, walking through curtains, wearing the same outfit from the sectionals video she saw. Brittany writes above his head _I've had the time of my life_ with little music notes around it.

"How did you-"

"I saw the video," she explains. "You were amazing!" she smiles.

"Thanks," he grins as his face reddens. Brittany means it in a one hundred percent friendly way, but it still makes me a little jealous. I quickly pick up a red crayon and trace over Sam's lips a few times until they're taking up half of his face.

"That's more accurate," I smirk.

"Shut up," Sam fake shoves me with a laugh. Brittany covers her mouth to hide how hard she's laughing.

"I ordered chocolate mousse, a chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream, and a cheesecake," Puck tells as he looks at Quinn.

The conversation opens up to everyone but I can't stop staring at Brittany. She's still doodling. She looks like she's deep in thought. She isn't doodling people anymore, just lines. Straight lines that connect together but don't necessarily form anything. Some are dark, some are soft.

It takes her awhile to realize I'm staring at her but she finally looks up at me, almost embarrassed.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing," I smile. "What are you thinking about?" I ask after a long pause. Brittany's eyes have a green center today, making them prettier than I remembered.

Brittany shrugs and begins drawing again. A pair of cartoon lips appears below her hand. I immediately think about our kiss, but Brittany doesn't look up at me. So I decide she's just drawing for fun again.

I look around the room for awhile until I notice a few words under Brittany's arm.

_Last night_ is written below the lips. But it's written far enough below them that it could have nothing to do with the lips. Brittany looks up at me when she notices I've read her words.

I pick up a crayon and write on my side of the table _What about it?_

I know she's referring to the kiss. But still, I don't know _what_ she's thinking about it. I turn around and the waiters are walking over with a tray full of our desserts and little desert plates. When I look back at Brittany, I see her writing in really small font. _ Do you_ is all I can see because her forearm is blocking the rest. The waiter places a plate down on the table for me. He steps in between Brittany and I to place her plate down. Brittany lifts her arm to allow for the man to place the plate down, revealing the rest of her message. But only for a split second. Then the plate lands right over Brittany's handwritten message. My heart stops.

_Do you like me?_

I look over to Brittany, completely frozen. She's looking up to the waiter with a small smile as she says "Thank you!"

My stomach twists into a giant knot. What am I supposed to say? My face heats up and my heart starts throbbing.

Brittany looks back down towards the message. She see's it covered by the plate and her brow furrows. She's about to look up at me when I look towards my plate, avoiding her gaze. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her shrug slightly and look towards the center of the table where the desserts are being placed.

I guess she doesn't think I saw her writing. I try to calm my reddened cheeks as quickly as I can.

Do I like her? More than I've ever liked anyone ever. But can I tell her that? Sure, she asked. But does she _really _want to know? Does she want it to be a yes? Maybe she wants to know because she _doesn't_ want me to like her. Maybe she wants to know the kiss was only for fun. And she only wants to be friends. Maybe she's trying to avoid a miscommunication.

"San, are you okay?" Rachel asks. The entire table turns towards me.

"Huh?" I say, flustered.

"Are you hot?" Quinn asks.

"What? No," I mutter.

"You're all red," Puck says, only making my face heat up even more. The back of Brittany's hand lands on my back of my forehead.

"She doesn't have a fever," she shrugs.

"I'm fine," I tell everyone. They all stare at me for a moment longer until the waiter puts the giant chocolate lava cake on the table.

"Oh!" Quinn cheers.

"Yum!" Sam digs in. The attention diverts from me and I'm extremely grateful.

"You okay?" Brittany asks, placing her hand back onto my knee. I'm pretty sure my face gets redder once again.

"Y-yeah," I stutter. "I'm good."

My heart is still pounding. Partly from her message, partly from the group staring at me, and partly from her hand on my knee.

That must have been what Brittany wanted to ask me earlier. If I like her.

I knew this was coming. I knew we'd have to talk about us. But for some reason, thinking about it is making me so much more nervous than I thought I would be. I wanted to talk to her about it first, but now that I realize I have to put myself out there, it's scary.

I look up at Brittany, whose hand is still on my knee, and she gives me a soft smile.

"I'll just tell you later," she says. For a moment I'm confused, but then I remember she doesn't know I saw her message. She thinks I'm still wondering what she's thinking about.

"Can't wait," I gulp. But for some reason, I hope we have to wait. At least long enough for me to stop being such a coward.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"They're so cute," Rachel smiles as we walk into our apartment.

"He seems funny," Brittany says about Puck.

"Yeah," I say. "He is. And isn't Quinn so much happier around him?"

"Yeah," she says as I plop down on the couch.

"Yes! OC time!" Brittany runs into her room to grab her computer. I giggle as I watch her leave.

"I'll leave you two some alone time, I guess," Rachel smiles as she starts to walk towards her room.

"No!" I stop her. "Watch it with us," I tell her. "It's your place, too," I say. But really, I think I just want to avoid talking about _us_ until I can figure out exactly what I want to say.

"Are you sure?" Rachel hesitates.

"Yes, please," I almost beg. She gives me a confused stare, but Brittany skips back out before she can say anything else.

She quickly sits the computer down and presses play on her laptop.

"I love this show," Rachel says, reminiscing.

"You're going to watch it with us?!" Brittany squeals.

"If that's okay," Rachel eyes me.

"Of course!" Brittany says, sitting down in between Rachel and I, making us all really close. Every time I'm this close to Brittany, my heart beats a little faster, my stomach swirls a little faster, and my lips curl upward a little bigger.

We watch a few episodes mostly in silence, each of us making a few comments here and there. But nothing too major. Until now. Olivia Wilde has a character on the show this season, and Brittany and Rachel keep saying how hot she looks. I agree, but aren't I supposed to be the gay one? I mean, yes she's hot, but every time she's on the screen one of them makes a comment about how pretty she looks.

I just learned her character is bisexual. But she's sort of dating Seth Cohen? But she has a girlfriend, too. Well, I guess an ex-girlfriend. But right now, I think Marissa, the Mischa Barton girl, are her are becoming friends.

Marissa and Alex, that's Olivia's character, are just starting their friendship. You know, it's kind of awkward, but it's exciting. And it's clear they both want to be friends. Marissa is at Alex's house and she's sitting on her couch. Alex sits down besides her and asks Marissa if she's cold. Then she leans across Marissa's lap to grab a blanket and she spreads it over both of them.

A softer, almost sad and dramatic, song starts playing in the background. Marissa watches Alex place the blanket over them and a look crosses her face. The same look that I imagine crosses my face when I look at Brittany. And suddenly I realize what's happening. The two girls stare at each other, eyes flickering from the other's eyes to lips, confirming what I was thinking. They both look away, Marissa a little more nervously than Alex. But after a few seconds, Marissa glances at Alex out of the corner of her eye.

Chills take over my body. I feel like I just watched Brittany and I. Me being Marissa, almost so certain of what she wants, but so unsure at the same time. My heart starts going faster and faster. I don't know what's going to happen to Marissa and Alex, just like I don't know what's going to happen to me and Brittany. But I know that both of the pairs are due for a talk soon. My stomach twists and I suddenly jolt to my feet.

The girls look up to me totally confused.

"I- I'm gonna go to bed," I tell them. "I'm just really tired," I say.

"I'll come," Brittany tries to say.

"No," I say a little too quickly. "No," I soften my tone. "It's okay. You can finish it up with Rach, it's all good."

The girls eye me, then each other, but both nod.

"Uh, okay," Brittany says. I almost sense some sort of pain in her voice, but I'm pretty positive I'm imagining it.

"Night," I say.

"Goodnight," they reply.

I walk into Brittany's room, shaking, and determined to fall asleep before Brittany makes it in. I don't know why watching that just shook me up so much, but it did. Maybe it was seeing the fear in Marissa's eyes. Maybe it isn't exactly fear. But it looked like how I feel. And I feel scared. Of everything. Rejection. Pain. Love. All of it.

I quickly slip into a large t-shirt and climb under the covers, praying I wake up braver than I feel tonight.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Wonder what that was about," Rachel mutters to Brittany. Brittany shrugs.

"Dunno," she says, but her voice isn't totally convincing.

Rachel eyes Brittany curiously, but decides to watch the show instead.

After the episode finishes, the two sit there in silence for a moment.

"Such a good show," Rachel says.

"I know. You up for another episode?"

"I don't think I'll make it," Rachel laughs.

"Same," Brittany smiles.

"Do you have dance tomorrow?" Rachel asks.

"Yeah, in the afternoon. You have class?"

"Mhm. Early morning."

"You better get some sleep," She says.

"Eh," Rachel shrugs.

"So things with Finn?" Brittany asks.

"Good," she smiles. "Really _really_ good."

"He seems great."

Rachel nods.

Brittany yawns as she begins to fold her blanket, placing it on the couch next to her.

"Hey Rach," Brittany starts just as the girl is about to stand up.

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Rachel says, settling back in on the couch.

Brittany lets out a deep breath as she searches for the right words.

"Never mind," she sighs.

"No," Rachel encourages. "Try me."

Brittany nods. "When you, if you want to talk to someone-" Brittany stops. "When you and Finn started dating," she starts over, "did you go on a date before you had your first kiss? Or did you kiss before you discussed feelings. Not even Finn," she adds. "Just anyone. Have you ever kissed someone before you discussed feelings but then, I don't know, you wanted to discuss feelings?"

"Of course," Rachel says.

"Well how do you talk about how you felt about the kiss before you know how the other person feels? Like, what if the kiss didn't mean something to one person but it meant a lot to the other? If you weren't on a date, it could just be an in the moment thing, right? Or what if talking about it could ruin a friendship? But you have to talk about it, because if you don't, that could ruin a friendship, too."

Rachel looks at the blonde in front of her. Her face is bright red and she almost looks out of breath.

"Just like anything in relationships," she says softly, "it takes a lot of courage. You have to be willing to put yourself out there. It's the risk. You have to realize you could get hurt at anytime. Or you could hurt the other person at anytime."

Brittany nods a little as she thinks about what her friend is saying.

"Talking about feelings is the hard part," she says. "Especially in the beginning. It's the one thing that stands in the way. Once you get past it, and everything is clear, the fun part starts. So most of the time, it's worth it," Rachel shrugs.

"Yeah," Brittany sighs.

"What if the other person doesn't _want _to talk about it?" Brittany asks weaker than ever.

"Do you know that for sure?" Rachel asks.

Brittany shakes her head. "I'm not positive, but-"

"You have to set them up in a comfortable setting. Make sure you're alone. Then if you bring it up casually, and they still don't want to talk about it, drop it. Don't push it. Maybe give them some time. But hopefully they'll be ready."

Brittany nods with a smile.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Rachel," she says, leaning in to give the girl a hug.

"Anytime," she tells her.

Brittany grabs her lap top and starts to head towards her room.

"Brittany," Rachel calls. "Be bold," she says.

Brittany smiles as she digests her words.

She nods, repeating the words in her head.

_Be Bold_.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Thanks again for all the messages and reviews! I hope you liked it!

Let me know what you guys think!

Xoxo

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	12. Hesitate

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Everyone goes out to dinner to see Puck and Quinn_

_-Brittany and Santana communicate through writing on the table about last night_

_-When Brittany asks Santana if she likes her, the waiter covers the message with a plate and Santana pretends she never saw it_

_-Santana realizes how nervous talking makes her and makes Rachel stay to watch the OC with them_

_-It becomes clear to Santana that Marissa and Alex's friendship is headed in a romantic direction and she gets scared so she quickly excuses herself to bed_

_-Brittany asks for Rachel's advice about having a talk about feelings and Rachel advises her to be bold_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Do you like chocolate chips?" Rachel asks Brittany as she pours the pancake batter onto the pan.

"Oh, yeah!" Brittany smiles.

Rachel drops a few chocolate chips on the pancake as she turns back to face us. Rachel woke us up this morning asking if we wanted her to make us some pancakes before she left for class. I was gonna go back to bed, but Brittany sprung right out of bed.

"Do you like chocolate chips?" Brittany asks as she turns to me.

"Mhm," I smile.

"I used to always make chocolate chip pancakes for my little sister and I," she says with a grin. "We'd make them into shapes, though. Mickey Mouse was my favorite. The easiest, too, because it's just three circles. But I had a teddy bear stencil that was really cool."

Rachel flips the pancake over and Brittany's face lights up. Once the pancakes ready, she puts it on Brittany's plate and turns to the clock.

"Shit," she mutters. "I'm sorry, San. I'm gonna be late for class."

"It's fine," I tell her. "I can make mine."

"I'm sorry!" She apologizes again as she slings her school bag over her shoulder and fast walks towards the door.

I walk over towards the pan and pour the mix in.

"Did you sleep well?" She asks.

"Yeah," it tell her without turning to face her.

I didn't really sleep all too well, though. I fell asleep almost immediately when I laid down. I wanted to avoid talking, or at least postpone it, so I could figure out what I wanted to say. So I made myself fall asleep.

But when Brittany laid down on the bed, I woke up. She whispered my name, I think to see if I was awake. Or maybe to wake me. But I kept my eyes tightly shut. I was facing the wall so Brittany couldn't see my eyes anyway. She laid beside me, and slowly and cautiously, I felt her nuzzle up to me. If I hadn't woken up before, I'm sure that would have woken me up. Her body was radiating heat.

That moment filled me with something. I wanted to flip over and kiss her. So badly. So _so_ badly. And I realized how badly I want her.

But then I couldn't go back to sleep. And I couldn't stop thinking about her. And I laid there, just feeling her, wondering if I could ever _really_ feel her.

"Did you?" I ask.

Brittany doesn't answer though, so I turn around to face her. She's cutting her pancake. She doesn't look up at me but I can tell she feels me staring. She shrugs her shoulders and I turn back around to flip my pancake. I grab a plate from the cabinet and put my fresh pancake on it before walking back over to the seat next to Brittany.

"Oh my gosh," Brittany smiles when she sees my Mickey shaped pancake.

I smile up at her. "You want it?" I ask, gesturing to it.

"No," she laughs. "You should eat it."

I pour maple syrup over the pancake and begin cutting the bottom half.

"You just made me so happy," Brittany laughs after I take my first bite. My face lights up and I look over at her.

"It's just really starting to feel like home," she says softer.

"Good," I smile.

We fall silent for a moment and the same nerves I had last night start to fill me up. Brittany finishes her pancake earlier than I do and she's sitting there next to me, fiddling with her fork.

"So," she finally says, softly.

"So," I start, "you have class today?" I ask before she can say anything else.

"In two hours," she says. "Do you have work?"

"Yeah, tonight," I say.

The conversation is tense. I finally finish my pancake and take both our plates to the sink.

"Thanks," she mutters.

"So, can I ask you something," Brittany asks as her voice cracks. My heart starts racing.

"Sure," I say, as I turn the sink on and begin to rinse off the two plates.

"You know how we were talking last night?"

"Yeah," I say slowly.

"Well," she pauses, "I wanted to ask you something."

I finish with the dishes and put them down in the sink before I can drop them. My body starts to feel kind of weak. My hands are shaking and my head is spinning.

"Hm?" I finally breath as I turn to lean back against the counter so I'm facing Brittany.

"I just- I wanted to know," Brittany's face flushes before she stops talking. She begins tinkering with a string bracelet on her left wrist.

_This is it_.

I take a deep breath and swallow hard. I'm gonna tell her.

"I wanted to know," she repeats herself, barely above a whisper. My heart starts pounding hard enough to make my stomach convulse.

I nod when she looks up at me, encouraging her to continue. She looks back down just as my vision becomes blurry. I take a second to close my eyes. When I open them again, everything is a little clearer.

"Do you," Brittany finally says with a deep breath. "Do you like me?" Her voice is so soft and fragile. She keeps her head down but her eyes are looking up at me.

I knew that was what she was going to ask, but hearing her ask still makes my heart stop cold.

_Yes_. Yes.

I open my mouth to tell her. A soft squeak comes out and I quickly snap my mouth shut to try again. I must be silent for a long time because Brittany gets enough confidence to look up at me.

"Y-yeah," I hesitate.

It feels so good. Everything in me lightens and breathing becomes easier. "Yeah," I say again, confidently.

Brittany's face heats up, but she doesn't really smile. I mean, she gives me a soft smile but then she quickly looks back down to her hands. Then her smiles gone. My nerves kick in again.

My heart drops in my stomach. Something takes over me and makes me start rambling.

"Yeah," I say, "of course I like you. Why wouldn't I? You're super cool. Who wouldn't like you?" I stammer. Brittany looks up at me with a confused expression. Right as she's about to say something I cut her off.

"Why don't we finish the episode of the OC from last night. Oh," I remember. "You did already, didn't you? We can start the next one, then." I'm rambling on as I walk right out of the kitchen and out of her view. The second I'm out of her sight I slap my self on the forehead and try my best not to cry.

I was _so_ close. I did it! I told her how I felt. Well, I started to. And then I backed out! I tried to cover it up. Why? Why am I so fucking dumb? Sure, maybe she wouldn't have said it back, but at least it would have been out there.

My body is throbbing.

I throw myself down on the couch and try my best to catch my breath.

I hear Brittany's footsteps behind me and I relax my face, trying my best to hide my emotions. She slowly sits down next to me and I feel her eyes on me. She leans onto the coffee table and flips open her laptop, setting up the next episode.

Once it's clear she isn't gonna say anything more, I begin to relax. My frustration is still there, but I'm able to calm down a little. Every once in awhile I peak over at her. She's staring at the screen totally indifferent. It's like she could be anywhere right now and that face would be acceptable. She's just..._there_.

Nobody says anything until more than halfway through the episode.

Alex, Olivia Wilde's character, broke up with her girlfriend. But her ex still has a bunch of her stuff, including a necklace she loves. So Marissa decides she's going to help her go there and get it back. She goes along because Alex really doesn't want to fall back into her ex's arms, so Marissa is going to make sure she doesn't.

Her ex-girlfriend, Jody, already thinks Marissa and Alex are a _thing_ because their chemistry is so obvious. But at this point, it seems like Marissa is still straight. Jody tells Marissa she's next, you know, to go through a breakup with Alex, and Marissa quickly denies that they're together.

But then, a few minutes later, Marissa goes to the "bathroom" (really she's stealing the necklace Alex loves) but when she comes back Jody is trying to persuade Alex to stay the night. Jody asks Marissa to take Alex's car home for her so they can be alone. That's when it happens.

"I can't," Marissa says.

"Why not?" Jody asks.

"Well do you really think I'm gonna leave my girlfriend alone with you overnight?" Marissa says before wrapping her arm around Alex's waist and walking out with her.

My eyes shoot over to Brittany.

"That was awesome!" Alex's voice booms.

"Do you think she bought it?" Marissa asks.

"Are you kidding? She thought you and I were sleeping together when she met you at the club last week!"

Brittany slowly looks over to me with a smile.

"It's just like at Mist!" I say excitedly. "When we didn't wanna dance with those guys," I remind her. "You pretended we were dating, like them!" I giggle.

Brittany starts laughing along. "Yeah, my life is pretty much the OC," she shrugs as she rolls her eyes.

"You wish," I joke.

"Who doesn't."

We both share a light laugh before Brittany rises to her feet.

"I gotta go to class," she says softer. "I'll see you when I get back?" she asks.

"Yeah," I nod. I watch Brittany turn and walk towards her room, maybe to get changed or grab a bag, and I debate getting up to tell her how I really feel.

But I can't. I'll look like an idiot. The time to tell her passed, and I blew it. I have to wait for the right moment again. Right now, it would be _really_ putting myself out there. An hour ago, she set me up perfectly. And I totally fucking ruined it.

"Bye!" Brittany calls as she closes the apartment door behind her.

I let out a deep sigh and my body sink further into the couch. I throw my head back on the couch and grunt.

My breathing picks up a little and I feel tears start forming behind my eyes.

What the fuck? Why is this dumb crush fucking with my head so much? I've _never_ been like this.

I quickly turn my attention back to the computer screen to distract my racing thoughts.

The episode finishes and before I know it I'm onto the next. It's kept me from crying or having a melt down thus far, so I keep watching.

Then it happens.

Marissa and Alex kiss.

I slam the computer shut and close my mouth as I let out muffled scream.

It's fucking teasing me.

That could have been me. You know, assuming Brittany wants to too.

The whole time I've been watching, the two girls reminded me of Brittany and me. And now, they kiss. And they talk. About their feelings.

Why. The. Fuck. Can't. I.

I suddenly realize a tear is slipping down my cheek. I'm too weak to even wipe it away.

I'm pathetic. This is pathetic. I jump to my feet, wiping my eyes, and decide to head over to my place early to grab my work clothes.

I grab my bag from Brittany's room and head towards the door.

"Ah!" I scream as the door opens just as I'm grabbing for the handle.

"Oh! Sorry, didn't mean to scare you!" Rachel giggles a little. "Oh, what's wrong?" She asks when she sees my face.

"Nothing," I say flatly. "You just scared me. I gotta grab my work clothes," I say as I close the door behind me.

I know that's a conversation waiting to happen. Great. Why do I keep doing things that require me to talk after.

Wait. Brittany kissed me. Why am I freaking out? Why am I nervous to tell her how _I _feel. Shouldn't she be explaining herself to _me?_

_Ugh. _I wish I had made her tell me. I wish I reminded her that _she_ kissed me.

Feelings suck.

I feel like such a dumb high school girl. The girls I hated. I guess because I've never had these feelings, it's my time to be a dumb high school girl. I'm just as annoying as I remember them being.

Before walking into my apartment, I consider the fact that Puck and Quinn could be just waking up and maybe a little _indecent_. After seeing that it's almost two o'clock, I open the door. Quinn never sleeps past ten. They've probably been up for hours. They may even be out to lunch.

The place is quiet. I assume no ones home and walk towards my room with my bag. After I fold my work clothes into the bag, I debate taking a shower here instead of at Rachel and Brittany's. I pick out shorts and a t-shirt and carry it towards the shower.

"Woah!" Puck shouts when I bump into him outside of the bathroom door.

He turns around in nothing but his boxer shorts. Not that I haven't seen him like that before, but it was different circumstances then.

"Oh gosh," I mutter as my hands shoot up to guard my eyes. "I'm sorry!"

Puck lets out a nervous laugh before I hear Quinn's voice.

"What's going o- Santana!" She squeals. I quickly open my eyes and regret it immediately. Quinn covers her bare chest and turns her back towards me. Thank god she still has her underwear on.

"I'm sorry!" I say again as I squeeze my eyes shut. "I thought you wouldn't be here- or doing- anything- I needed my work clothes!"

Quinn lets out a nervous laugh and begins to stammer.

"Oh no! We weren't- you know. Puck was just getting out of the shower and-" She pauses. "I was about to get in it! Yeah! I was about to shower."

At this point, it all seems ridiculous and I open my eyes. Puck nods quickly to agree with her.

I start laughing and give up with shielding my eyes.

"You guys had a baby together, Q," I tell her. "You're two adults. It's okay."

They both stare at me, almost confused.

"I know what sex looks like," I roll my eyes.

They both stare at me, cheeks burning and faces frozen.

I giggle as I turn back to my room.

"I'll just shower at Berry's!" I shout.

By the time I make it back to the living room, Puck and Quinn are nowhere in sight and her door is shut tightly.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I walk into Brittany's room, wringing the dripping water out of my hair.

My heart stops a little when I see someone sitting on the bed, but I immediately relax when I see it's Rachel.

"What are you doing?" I bite.

She shrugs and ignores my question.

"Are you okay?" she asks. "This morning you seemed-"

"I'm fine," I say emotionless. I turn my back towards Rachel as I clip on my bra.

"So did she say anything to you?"

"Who?" I say as I turn to face her.

"Brittany," she says almost in a whisper.

I stare at her confused.

"Why would she?"

Rachel looks around the room, almost debating whether or not she should tell me.

"Last night, when you _sprinted_ out on us," she shoots me a glare.

"Sorry," I breath.

"Well, she asked my for advice."

"About what?"

"You. Well I assume it's about you," she says as my eyes bug out of my head. I stay quiet until she continues.

"She wanted to know how to talk to someone- about _feelings_- if the other person didn't want to."

"Shit," I mutter. "Wait, how do you know that's about me?" I ask realistically.

"She asked if I'd ever kissed someone _before_ a date. Or before you even hinted anything about feelings. And she wanted to know how to talk about them after. _Especially_ with someone who didn't want to," Rachel says pointing at me.

"That could be about Sam," I tell her.

"Santana! You know it's obvious he likes her. Why would she be nervous about that?"

"Fuck," I breath. "What did you tell her?"

"To wait till you're alone and comfortable. Bring it up casually, and then if they still aren't ready to talk about, drop it. At least for awhile."

"Fuck," I say louder this time. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I cover my eyes with my hand as I try to calm myself down.

"What did you do?" Rachel asks, suddenly aware I screwed up.

"She asked if I liked her!"

"What did you say?" She asks excitedly.

"I said yeah-"

"Yes!"

"No," I tell her. "I said yeah. I said it twice, actually! But then I hesitated. She didn't look like she was going to say it. She didn't even look like she was happy I was saying it! So I backed out. I quickly made it seem like I thought she meant it in a friend way. I said 'Yeah, of course I like you. Who wouldn't? You're so cool!' Then I fucking made her watch the OC with me so we couldn't talk. And now she's not gonna bring it up again. _Fuck_."

"San," Rachel breaths as she stands up to hug me. I'm still only in a bra and towel, but I let her.

"What the fuck do I do now?"

"We'll figure it out," she breaths.

"Why the fuck did I hesitate? How am I supposed to tell her now? How do I know she even likes me?"

"Brittany she kissed you! And then _she _wanted to talk about it. If she didn't want the kiss to mean anything, she would have avoided any and all conversation about it."

I let out a deep breath. Yeah, maybe she's right.

"I'm sick of this bullshit. Since when am I like this? It's ridiculous. I'm fucking telling her. I don't care. I don't care what she thinks," I declare.

"That's not true," Rachel almost laughs.

"Shut up," I sigh as I sit down on the bed.

"I can't do this anymore, though. It's torture. I just- I need to get it off my chest."

"Wait," Rachel breaths. "Did you pick a song yet?"

"No does that even fucking matter? I don't think I even want to sing," I tell her.

"Oh no, you're singing all right."

"Whatever!" I almost scream. "I'll deal with that later."

"No! I have an idea."

"I don't care!"

"Not about the performance! About Brittany!"

My eyes soften and I look up at her.

"Well, it is about the performance. But also about Brittany."

My eyebrows crease together a little.

Rachel sprints out of the room.

"Where are you going?" I shout after her, annoyed. Seconds later she returns with her computer. She googles something and puts the computer on my lap.

"Read this," she says as I stare at a page of song lyrics.

"What am I reading?"

"A song! Just read it!"

I read through the lyrics and with every line I understand more and more what Rachel is doing. I'm pretty sure I'm getting chills, but that could also be because I'm still a little wet and not wearing much.

"Perfect, right?" She breaths when I finish the song.

I smile a little. "Almost _too_ perfect."

"So you'll sing it to her?" she pleads.

"What?" My heart stops.

"I mean on stage. No one has to know it's to her! But she'll know! And you'll know! And well, I'll know, but I won't tell anyone!"

I let out a deep breath. This may be the best idea Rachel's had. And it's one way I _can't_ back out of. It's exactly what I need.

"Yeah," I tell her. "I'll do it."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Sorry you have to deal with a frustrating Santana right now but I promise it will all clear up soon! Haha. Sorry it's shorter, too. But i wrote it quickly and plan on updating quickly. The next chapter is important so I wanted it to be split up like this. Let me know what you guys think!

Xoxo

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . com


	13. Finally

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana has been being a little bitch with her feelings_

_-Brittany asked her if she liked her but she backed out_

_-Santana is mad at herself and Rachel finds her the perfect song to sing to Brittany for her performance_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Good morning," Brittany says to me from inside her closet.

"Morning," I croak.

"How was work?"

"Dumb," I mumble as I rub my eyes and sit up. Brittany giggles a little.

When I got in from work last night, Brittany was already asleep. I climbed in to bed beside her and passed out.

"How was your class? Did you stay after or something?" I ask. When I left for work, she still wasn't home.

"Yeah, I needed extra practice," she says. She steps out of her closet in a tight pink tank top and skin tight black leggings. Her body looks amazing.

"Are you excited for tomorrow?" She asks.

"What's tomorrow?"

"You're performance!" She squeals.

"Oh, yeah, of course," I say. And I am. I'm actually really excited.

I haven't performed in forever, and now it's gonna help me tell Brittany how I feel. Last night at work, while I had plenty of time to think, I realized how dramatic I've been being. I mean, not about this whole thing. About telling Brittany, though. I should be able to tell her how I feel. She was the one that kissed me. What happens after that, though, I don't know. That's what I _should_ be freaking out about. Either way, somethings going to change. She doesn't like me, I lose a friend and get a broken heart. She _does_ like me, then what? Do we date? Do we tell people?

The past few years I've been working on accepting myself. And I thought I had. I mean, I do. But now that there are actual feelings involved- _real_ feelings that confirm everything- it's harder than I thought. It's so much scarier than I had imagined.

I can't think about that now, though. I can only think about right now.

But I also figured out that I can't just go sing the song. Brittany won't know for _sure _it's about her or anyone at all. And I can't say _this is for you Brittany_ when I go up there. Then _everyone_ will know and I'll have so much explaining to do. Especially if Brittany doesn't feel the same way. And maybe that would embarrass Brittany. So I have to talk to her before I perform. She has to know to listen closely. And that it's for her.

"Did you call them and tell them what song you're performing?"

"Yeah, last night," I tell her.

"Oh, so you picked a song?!" I nod. "What song?" Brittany cheers as she runs over to the bed, hopping onto her knees.

"It's a surprise," I say without hesitating. I'm proud of myself. I even smirk a little.

"What? Tell me!" she says as she grabs my hands. That almost does it for me. I almost tell her.

"No, you have to wait like everyone else."

"Boo," she frowns.

"Actually though," I tell her, "I wanted to talk to you about it."

"Can it wait?" she stands up. "I have to run to class."

"Yeah," I shrug. "I guess."

It sucks though, because I finally mustered up enough courage, and she can't talk. "Good," she smiles, erasing any disappointment I just felt.

"See ya later!" She smiles, running out of the room.

"Bye," I breath.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"You're gonna kill it!" Rachel cheers as we walk into our apartment.

"Thanks," I laugh.

"Are you nervous?" she asks.

I think about it a little before I answer. "You know, not really," I shrug.

"Not even for the, you know, _other_ part of the performance," she whispers, referring to Brittany. I think she's somewhere in the apartment.

"Not really," I say again, truthfully. Something about performing is bringing back that confidence I always had in high school. Maybe that's where it always came from. I mean, since I can remember, I've been performing in some way. Dancing, cheerleading, singing. And I was always confident. But I haven't been as confident ever since I got to New York. I mean, I knew the talent was so much bigger here, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be confident in myself. And not just in the musical department.

"Yay!" Rachel smiles with a few quick claps. "I can't wait."

"Thanks for helping me rehearse," I tell her as I offer her a small hug. As much as I hate to admit it, I needed Rachel to remind me how to _really _perform. It's been awhile.

"Of course!" she smiles.

I jump into the shower and try my best to keep from singing my song. It's stuck in my head and I don't want Brittany to hear any of it prematurely. I hum some of it, but for the most part I stick to singing some Frank Ocean.

When I get out of the shower, I quickly blow dry my hair so it won't be wet for work. It only takes about ten minutes until it's bone dry. After putting on my make up, I head back to Brittany's room to get dressed.

I can't believe I'm performing again tomorrow. It's a great feeling. And I have Brittany to thank for it. The more I think about it, the more the song _should_ be dedicated to her. Not just in the way I mean for it to be, but as a thank you. She's the one that got me to do this. Who knows when I'd perform again if it hadn't been for her.

"Hey," Brittany says softly as I button my pants.

"Oh, hey," I smile. Brittany steps further into her room wearing brown and pink plaid pajama pants and a white wife beater.

"Ready for bed?" I joke.

"I'm tired," she giggles. "Dance took a lot out of me."

"It's not even five o'clock yet."

"I'll be out cold in four hours, tops," she laughs as she jumps onto her bed. I chuckle a little as I turn to face her.

"I guess I'll miss you tonight then," I say.

"Probably," she shrugs as she grabs the TV remote.

"I probably won't see you until after my performance, then."

"What?" she sits up quickly.

"Well, yeah. You'll probably be asleep when I get home from work. And I have to get up early and go to the auditorium for a dress rehearsal."

Brittany shoots up too her feet and tosses her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug.

I let out what I think is a nervous laugh as I hug her back.

"Good luck!" She says. "Not that you'll need it. You're gonna do amazing."

"Thanks," I giggle as I pull away. Brittany sits down on the edge of her bed.

"And thanks for getting me to do this," I tell her sincerely.

"Thanks for doing it," she smiles as she leans back a little, propping herself up with her arms.

"Can you tell me the song yet?" She asks.

I take a deep breath as I prepare to say what I've been planning all day.

"Not yet-"

"Ugh, please!" She tries to plead.

"No," I laugh. I sit down besides her on the edge of the bed.

"But I wanted to talk to you about something," I say softly.

"Hm?"

"About my song. And tomorrow."

Brittany looks up at me expectantly.

"I wasn't totally honest with you the other day," I breath. Then I pause. It's not that I expect Brittany to know exactly what I'm talking about, but I just need to wait a moment so my voice doesn't end up sounding super shaky.

"What about?" She finally asks.

"When you asked me if-" I swallow. "If I liked you." Brittany's eyebrows perk up a bit but she stays calm.

"I- Tomorrow, when I sing- I- you-" I stop. I've been so good up till now. "I'm not too good with words," I laugh. Brittany smiles and laughs along.

"You're better than me," she shrugs. I don't think it's true, though. Brittany always says what she thinks and doesn't think twice about it. But for some reason her compliment calms my nerves.

"I picked out a song. And you know, you helped me perform, so I thought I'd dedicate it to you-" I say.

Brittany's smile grows and she looks at me like I'm a newborn puppy.

"Santana, you didn't have to do that," she smiles. "Thank you so much!" I smile and nod.

"Of course. But- but that's not all I wanted to say," I tell her. She looks up a little confused.

"I want you to listen-"

"Of course I'm gonna listen," she interrupts with an offended look.

"No. I mean, I want you to _really _listen. I'm going to sing something really, um, genuine. I mean every word of it." Brittany nods along and I feel like she's starting to understand. "Then I want you to do something for me." She nods again and waits for me to explain.

I stop fiddling with my hands and take in a breath of courage, looking up at the blonde.

"After the show, if you feel something, wait for me. But if not, leave when the rest of the group leaves. And if you _really_ don't want to talk to me, you can leave-"

"I'm not gonna leave," she says.

"No. Listen to me. If you don't want to talk, tell everyone else you have to leave early for a dance class. And then I'll know. And I'll never mention it again-"

"Mention what?" she asks. I let out a long sigh.

"You'll understand tomorrow," I tell her. Her face softens as she nods. "Thanks," I breath, rising to my feet. I start to walk towards the door when Brittany snatches my hand in hers.

"I can't wait," she smiles.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Ms. Lopez?" The stocky stage manager taps me on the shoulder as I exit the stage.

"Yes, that's me."

"I know," he smiles. "You're performance was amazing. I want to give you the closing slot." My heart stops. "Unfortunately, the special NYU summer program group performance is given the last slot. So I want to give you a choice."

"Woah, thank you," I breath.

"You could be second to last. You'd be last besides the special group. Or you can have the opening slot."

I only have to think about it for .2 seconds.

"I'll go second to last," I tell him. There's no way I can open the show. Not only would it be extra nerve-wracking, but then I'd have to wait even longer to find out Brittany's response.

"Good choice," he winks. "Let me show you to your dressing room."

My mouth falls open.

"Dressing room?"

"Yes. Everyone gets one."

I follow the small, bald man down a staircase and a long hallway.

"Here you go, Mrs. Lopez," he smiles. On the third door to the left, a taped piece of paper says Santana Lopez on it. Sure, it's white printer paper and scribbled handwriting, but it makes me feel incredible. I can't help but smile. I know I haven't _really _made it, but it makes me think I _could_ make it.

"Thank you."

When I open the door, my black dress I handed in this morning is hanging on the hanger and my makeup bag along with my straightener is set in front of a mirror. I take a seat on the small medal chair. It's no leather sofa, but it's a start.

I pull out my phone to check the time but find a few new texts.

_Good luck San! Can't wait to watch you get back up there. Xoxo_

That ones from Quinn.

Then Sam.

_Excited to watch you tear it up_

Rachel's made me roll my eyes. And laugh a little.

_So proud of you. Break a leg! And go get your girl! 3_

There's one more and it's from Brittany.

_Good luck Santana! So happy you're singing again. I know you will be too! _

My phone vibrates again in my hand.

_Oh! P.S. Can't wait to _really_ listen :)_

I start to get a little nervous. Not nervous like I have been in the past few days, but the kind I should be getting before a performance.

Only one hour till the show starts. I start straightening my hair as I do some breathing exercises.

No matter what happens, everything changes after this performance. And that should make me really anxious. But it's not. I'm just... I'm excited.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

My heart is pounding and my stomach is feeling a little uneasy. The blonde singer before me is halfway done his Rent song. I'm up next.

Watching him from the side of the stage, I can only see a quarter of the audience. And they're making me nervous. I didn't expect _this_ many people to turn up for something like this. It's nothing like Nationals, but it's still a lot. And I'm alone this time.

I can only see Puck from this spot. Everyone else is cut off by the curtain. They're a few rows back on the right side of the stage. I don't know if I'll be able to see them once the lights are in my eyes, but I know it helps just knowing they're there.

The clapping starts and I know I'm next. I take the minute to straighten out my strapless black dress, pulling the bottom down a little so it falls mid thigh.

"Good luck," the host whispers before he walks out on stage to introduce me. He's a good-looking guy in his mid twenties. Pale with thick but short black hair, slightly pushed up. He's in a nice suit with a blue tie that makes his eyes seem bluer than they are. They're probably green.

"Thanks," I mutter too late for him to hear.

"And now, for the last student solo. Singing a song by Steve Moakler," he says reading the unfamiliar name from a card. "Please welcome Ms. Santana Lopez with Hesitate!"

The applause is immediate but I can pick out Puck and Sam's classic "Lopez" chants and I'm pretty sure I hear Quinn squealing. Maybe it's Rachel.

Some man whistles when I flick my hair a little as I grip the microphone stand.

My heartbeat picks up as I look up at the crowd. The light is so bright and I can't make out anyone's face, except for a few people in the front row. I can hear the shakes in my breath as I let out one last sigh.

The sound of a muted guitar behind me starts and I know it's time. I look up one last time to find Brittany but I can't see her. I can't tell if that's a good thing or not. Maybe seeing her reaction, if it wasn't good, could really mess me up.

The piano comes in and I snap out of everything. I close my eyes as both my hands grip the microphone.

_The human heart is a scary part in fact_

_'Cause I could break you and you could break me back_

The second the words leave my mouth, the nerves escape me. I feel fresh. I feel alive. And it's incredible.

I think of Brittany as I sing the words, making my voice seem more passionate than I can ever remember it sounding.

_Though my head says just forget it_

_You'll get hurt and you'll regret it _

_Ask me now and I won't hesitate_

My eyes open as a new confidence fills me. I forgot how amazing this was.

_So many cards that never leave the deck_

_There comes a time when you have to place your bets_

_And I've never been a gabling woman_

I change the lyrics from man to woman and it fits surprisingly better than I remembered.

_But if you want to see my hand_

_Ask me now and I won't hesitate_

The music picks up and my voice gets louder.

_'Cause I'm fearful of heights and you take me higher_

_What came with you was a view to admire_

_I've always been the kind to contemplate_

_But you like the kind that don't hesitate_

My eyes close again as I feel the words chill every bone in my body.

_So excuse me while I fall for you_

_Oooh ooh_

_Excuse me while I fall for you_

The music stops except for an occasional piano chord and the crowd is dead silent.

I take a deep breath as I sing my favorite part of the song. Brittany's beautiful face flickers in my mind.

_I thought about it long and hard today_

_I realized I'm standing in our way_

My voice starts booming as the music picks up again.

_Usually my judgement's better_

_But with your blue eyes, hey whatever_

_Ask me now and I won't hesitate_

_Ask me now and I won't hesitate_

_So excuse me while I fall for_

_Yeah oh_

_Excuse me while I fall for you _

_I fall for you now_

I breath the last line out as my eyes slowly open.

The music stops. I swear it's so quiet I could literally hear a pin drop.

I realize my heart is pounding in my chest. That's the great thing about performing. My nerves don't actually go away. They're always there. I just _think_ they're gone. Performing just masks them momentarily.

The audience erupts. Chills flood my body and a giant smile creeps on my lips.

I can't see everyone or their faces, but it's clear by the sound of rustling chairs that a good amount of people are rising to their feet. My face heats up as I give a small bow.

I shuffle off the stage, careful not to trip in my black heels. The second I leave the stage, a tear slithers down my cheek. It's not a sad tear, it's a happy tear.

I've never felt so high in my life. I literally feel like I could do anything. I feel bold. I feel like me.

"That was incredible!" The small stage manager says as he squeezes my shoulders.

"Thanks," I say, still trying to catch my breath.

I decide not to head to my dressing room. Instead, I make my way towards the door to the lobby. This way, when the shows over I can see everyone. The quicker I get out there, the quicker I know what Brittany thought.

On stage, I didn't think about Brittany's reaction once. Thankfully, too. I probably would have forgotten the words or something. Instead, I thought about her. And how she made me feel. And what I needed her to know.

I hear applause and I realize the big group performance is over. Out of the corner of my eye I can see lights turn on. The show's over. That's it. I wait a moment before I exit towards the lobby. As I open the door, I see how packed the lobby is. I don't know how I'm going to find anyone.

I start to make my way through the crowd . Every few steps I get a shoulder tap and a "great job!" or some other congratulatory statement. Sure it feels good, but the only opinion I _really_ care about is Brittany's.

"San! San!" I hear. My head twists around as I search for Quinn's voice. I finally spot her and push through a few more people until I'm in her arms.

"You were _incredible!_" she says. I look up at her when I pull away with a smile. Her eyes are watery.

"Are you crying?" I laugh.

She shakes her head and wipes an almost-tear. "No, no," she says. "I'm just so glad you performed again."

Sam and Puck's arms toss around me at the same time.

"Lopez!" Puck cheers. "You killed it!"

"Why did you ever stop that!"

"You stole the show," Finn says as he gives me a hug.

"You _were_ the show!" Sam interjects. Sam steps aside and Rachel, who has actual tears on her cheeks, embraces me in the tightest hug.

"You were amazing," she sniffles. I don't know exactly _why_ she's crying but I ignore it.

"Thanks," I say.

"I'm so so proud of you." Rachel's voice is strained as she offers me a smile.

I look behind Rachel but can't see anyone. I turn around and search behind the guys.

"Where's Brittany?" I ask Rachel. She swallows hard.

"She said she had to leave," Sam shrugs.

"When?" I blurt out, suddenly worried she missed my performance.

"Right after you sang," he tells me.

My heart sinks in my chest.

Rachel's hand finds mine and gives it a squeeze. I suddenly feel like I know why she was crying.

Brittany left. She left me. She doesn't feel the same way.

My chest shakes a little as I try to keep in everything I can.

"Maybe she had dance," Rachel whispers in my ear.

"No," I almost cry, praying that wasn't the excuse she used.

"I better go get my stuff. I'll catch up with you guys later?" I say as steadily as I can.

"We'll meet you at our place," Rachel says, clearly trying to help me get alone.

"Thanks," I mutter.

They all compliment me one more time before I disappear back through the crowd.

The second the basement door closes behind me a cry escapes my chest.

All of that. All of that for Brittany to run from me. My lip starts quivering and a tear escapes my eye.

I stay leaning against the door while I allow myself to cry.

It only lasts about two minutes before my sadness turns into anger. Anger at myself. Anger at the world.

Strangely enough, I don't really have any anger towards Brittany, the one girl causing me the pain. I take in a deep breath. Maybe Brittany actually had to go somewhere. Maybe she didn't leave because of what I said. Maybe she was scared, too.

I'm not convincing myself, but it's the only thing I can do prevent myself from collapsing to the ground.

Out of all of this, at least I got back up on stage. I try to tell myself that. That's amazing. The best thing I could ask for.

But I don't care. Part of me really believes I would give up performing forever if I could have Brittany. The other part of me tells me I'm crazy, but it's not completely disagreeing.

I take a deep breath before I walk down the hallway.

"Hey, you were awesome," the blonde singer who went before me stops me in the hall.

"You too," I smile as best I can and try to push past him. He doesn't budge.

"You go to NYU? Sophomore?"

"Mhm," I say.

"Same," he smiles. "Hopefully I'll see you in the fall." Then he lets me pass.

"You too," I mutter.

I finally get to my dressing room. I stare for a few moments at my name. After all that, it just looks like a stupid piece of paper.

Really, it should be the other way around. I should have thought it was a dumb piece of paper at first. Then, after I went out there and killed it, it should have looked like a fucking gold plaque.

I rip the paper off the door and crunch it up into a ball. I push open my door and throw the ball into the corner as hard as I can. I shove open the door and my heart stops.

"Hi," she breaths so softly I can't hear her. My jaw starts trembling.

"B-brittany," I stammer.

The blonde is standing in the room, smiling at me as her blonde hair falls softly on her shoulders. She looks beautiful in a simple dark blue dress.

"W-what are you doing here?" I manage to ask. I haven't taken a step since I saw her. I can't tell if my heart is even beating right now.

"You were absolutely amazing," she says slowly. "I- you- I've never seen anything like that," she shakes her head.

"I thought you left," I confess.

"I told you I wouldn't leave," she says confused.

"I- what you said," she says, starting to get nervous. "The song. Did you- you meant that?"

I nod more confidently now, suddenly remembering why she's here.

"I told you I was going to mean what I sang."

I see Brittany swallow before she starts again.

"You- it was beautiful," she admits.

"You're here," I say. Brittany nods. "You're here," I repeat, realizing what it means. "You didn't leave. You stayed. So you- you-" I start to walk closer towards Brittany, slowly closing the gap between us.

"I really really liked that song," she says, nervously. She starts to look down at her feet as her hands tickle up her arm.

"You're here," I whisper, this time to myself.

"After you sang, I-I couldn't wait." I've never seen her this nervous. For some reason, it's filling me with more confidence than ever before. I take another step closer. "I needed to see you," she says. "Sorry you thought I left."

Brittany's breath is audible. She sounds like me after I got off stage, maybe even worse.

I take another step closer, putting me within her reach.

"I- I needed to talk to you. Because that was- it was- you were-"

I snatch Brittany's lips in mine. My body shudders as I feel her lips against mine. My hands shoot up to her neck. Almost in slow motion, Brittany's hands slide onto my hips.

I deepen the kiss and it only takes Brittany a few seconds to catch up. My tongue slowly glides out of my mouth and touches her lips. A crazy wave fills my body and what I felt while performing magnifies by a hundred. I'm literally flying. Her lips part and she lets out a soft "Hm" against my lips. Her grip on my hips tightens as she pulls me closer. She lifts her hands off of me and throws her arms around my neck. I feel her smile against my lips before my hands slide down her sides. It's not until Brittany gasps against my lips that I realize I'm breathless, too.

She suddenly pulls away, leaving out heads resting against each other.

We stand there breathing heavily for a few moments. I'm smiling so big and my heart is racing in my chest.

"Finally," she breaths so softly. We both let out breathy laughs.

I'm back. Confident, bold, badass Santana. No more bitch-ass, coward, teenage girl. Im back. Finally.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I hope you guys liked it!

The song is called Hesitate my Steve Moakler. It's so beautiful so I really recommend listening!

If you search it on youtube it will come up. Or you can add this after youtube dot com /

watch?v=KtGvLlm1I9Y

Thank you so much for all the reviews and messages. You guys are awesome. Let me know what you think!

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . Com


	14. First Date

_**A/n: I'm so sorry I posted the wrong chapter before! I was really tired and doc 14 wasn't chapter 14 my bad! Please forgive me!**  
_

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Before Santana's big performance, she tells Brittany to listen closely because it's for her_

_-If Brittany feels the same way or wants to talk, Santana tells her to wait for her after the show. If she doesn't want to talk about it ever again she tells her to leave and Santana will never mention it again_

_-Santana sings the song Hesitate and sounds amazing- everyone loves it_

_-After the show, she meets up with the group, but Sam tells her Brittany had to leave_

_-Devestated, Santana returns to her dressing room alone, only to find Brittany waiting there for her_

_-Brittany nervously tells Santana she liked the song and says that she needed to talk to Santana right away_

_-Santana cuts her off with a kiss and Brittany happily complies_

_-Confident and bold Santana is back!_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"You were incredible," Brittany says with a steadier voice. I'm still catching my breath from the kiss but my confidence is through the roof.

"Thanks," I smile. My forehead is still pressed against hers and my hands are resting on her hips.

"How did it feel?" She asks, tightening her arms around my neck. "To perform again," she clarifies.

"Not as good as this," I flirt. I want to lean in to kiss her again, but she looks down to our feet with a nervous smile, so I give her time to relax.

"But seriously," I tell her in a softer tone. "Thank you. It felt incredible. I wouldn't have gotten up there without your help."

Brittany's eyes soften and she gives me her sweetest smile. Brittany starts to lean in, I think to kiss me, and my heart stops.

A hesitant knock on the door makes Brittany jump a little.

"San?" Rachel's voice weakly rings from the other side of the door. Her voice is filled with the same sadness I felt minutes ago.

Brittany's arms slowly unwrap from my neck and I immediately feel a little less warm. I look at Brittany, as if to say 'do you mind?' and she nods towards the door. I walk over and slowly open the door, only revealing me at first.

"Are you alright?" She asks before she sees my face. "I'm so sorry," she says barely above a whisper I know Brittany can't hear. Her eyes are still a little red and I quickly open the door a little further before she can say anything she shouldn't.

"Oh!" Rachel gasps as she spots Brittany. She quickly looks over to me and I give her a soft smile. "Brittany," she breaths. "I- I thought you," she fades out, unsure I think of what she can say. Neither of us know how Brittany feels about Rachel knowing anything.

"I did," Brittany says. "I mean, I came here. I wanted- I needed to talk to Santana," she simply says.

Rachel nods and looks back and forth between us. I'm trying so hard to keep my smile suppressed.

"I thought Santana was alone. So I came to check on her. But you're here! So it's okay! I'll just head back home. I gave Quinn our key. I better get back before they all trash the place," she laughs. "I'll see you guys there soon?" Rachel starts to leave.

"Wait," I grab her hand. "We were leaving too," I shrug. We had to go back to the house sometime, why make Rachel walk all alone. That's one thing I've always hated. When your friend gets a boyfriend and stops hanging with you automatically. Part of me hates that she'd assume I would be one of those girls. But I think she may just want to give me all the alone time I can get, which I appreciate.

"You sure?" Rachel asks me a little confused.

"Yeah," I tell her. "Let me just grab my stuff."

I quickly throw my stuff into my bag and the three of us head out. We talk about me performing again the whole way back, I think because both of them feel like they're treading water. I think they can both tell the other one was in my dressing room for a specific reason, but neither are really sure why. Especially Brittany.

By the time we get back to their place, I'm so sick of talking about myself that I'm praying the other kids don't bring it up.

When Rachel opens the door, I'm instantly relieved.

Bottles of wine, vodka, and cans of beer are all being spread out on the table by Puck.

Quinn rushes over to give me a hug and congratulate me one more time, but she quickly changes the subject with "It's time to celebrate!"

She rushes over to the table and grabs each of us a beer. I toss my bag to the side and jump onto the couch and I smile when Brittany follows.

After we settle in and everyone gets a few drinks in them, they join us on the couch.

Quinn next to me, Puck next to her, Finn and Rachel on the couch across from us, and of course, Sam next to Brittany.

"So Lopez," Puck starts, "you gonna tell us who that song was about?" My heart stops for a quick second and I feel the air sucked out of my lungs. I quickly compose myself and manage to get out an answer.

"You, of course," I roll my eyes.

"_Ha ha_," he mocks. "Seriously, though," he says. Everyone's eyes focus on me, except Rachel, who I notice looks more nervous than I do.

"It's just a song," I tell them with a shrug. "I just needed something to sing." I don't want Brittany to think that's true, though, so the second I feel everyone's eyes divert away from me, I slip my pinky into hers and give it a tight squeeze. She squeezes back and I know she understands.

"I've never seen you sing something _that_ convincingly," Puck says with narrowing eyes. My heart speeds up a little but I manage to keep my composure. At least on the outside.

"She took an acting class this year," Rachel quickly adds, calming my nerves.

"You did?" Quinn asks.

"Y-yeah," I say, thankful for Rachel's cover. "Half a credit type thing, though. Nothing serious."

"Oh," Quinn says, but I feel her eyes searching me. She's quickly distracted by Puck beginning to nibble on her neck. I roll my eyes when she lets out a small squeal.

"Kurt's coming next week," Finn says loud enough for everyone to hear.

"When?!" Rachel sits up.

"Next week," Puck repeats.

"No," Rachel rolls her eyes. "What day?"

"I think Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday. With Blaine, too," Finn smiles.

"Did he find an apartment?" I ask.

"Yeah, I think so," Finn says. "A few blocks away," he shrugs. He doesn't really know where anything is in the city yet.

"Who's Blaine?" Brittany asks.

"Kurt's boyfriend," Sam says nonchalantly. I see Brittany's expression change to what I think is curiosity.

"Do you guys like him?" She asks after awhile. I don't think that's exactly what she wants to ask, but she goes with it.

"He's cool," Sam nods.

"Perfect for Kurt," Finn adds. "They really balance each other out, I think."

I see Brittany smile a good amount. I think she's impressed with the guys for some reason.

Quinn taps me on the shoulder and I turn to face her.

"Puck's leaving tomorrow," she whispers.

"What? No!" I say. I immediately feel guilty, though, because I'm not upset for her. I'm upset because I won't have an excuse to spend every night at Brittany's.

"Yeah," she nods as her eyes soften. "He has pool stuff to take care of."

"He'll come back though, right? Or you'll go there?"

"I hope," she whispers. "We haven't talked about it completely yet," she admits. I look over her shoulder to Puck and see him talking to Finn across the room.

"He'll be back," I try to reassure her.

She nods and then smiles.

"But!" She cheers. "I have missed having you around," she elbows me. "At least I'll get to see more of you."

"Yeah," I try to smile.

"Thanks again for giving us some space. I really do appreciate it."

"I know," I tell her.

Quinn's eyes pop a little and she nudges me with her arm.

"Look!" she whispers with a nod. I turn around to where she's looking and see Sam, big grin, putting his arm around Brittany's shoulder.

"They're totally gonna hook up," she whispers into my ear. She's speaking softly but her words hit me like a rock. I don't turn to face her. I don't want her to see my expression.

I see Sam laugh a little but I can't see Brittany's face. I see her start to slump down a little in the couch.

"Santana!" Rachel cheers. "Celebratory shot!"

I take whatever they hand me and chug it down as quickly as possible, hoping it relaxes me.

"Remember that party you got so drunk at you almost got with Kurt?" Puck starts cracking up. I can't help but laugh along with him because it's so ridiculous.

"No," I say, stiffling my laughter.

"What?!" Rachel shrieks.

"I swear, it almost happened," Puck throws his hands up.

Rachel and Quinn start giggling like there's no tomorrow.

"I was trashed," I laugh. "I'd get with anything that moves."

"True," Quinn agrees.

When the laughter calms down I turn around and don't see Sam or Brittany. My stomach convulses.

What the fuck? I thought after this performance everything would be clearer. But I'm just realizing how _unclear_ we still are.

I frantically search the room and can't find either of them. I even excuse myself to the kitchen and see no one around. That only leaves the bedroom.

"Are you fucking me," I breath in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Sam's voice startles me. I turn to face him in the kitchen's entryway.

"Huh?" is all I can think to say.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Oh, uh, yeah," I manage. "Where's Brittany?" I finally ask.

"She said she didn't feel too well," he shrugs. "Dizzy or something. I just helped her to her room."

"Oh," I say relieved. "That was nice of you."

He shrugs again.

"Hey San," he says as he leans against the counter. "Do you think Brittany doesn't like me?"

"What?" I say.

"Not like that," he quickly adds. "I mean in general."

"She thinks you're cool," I tell him.

He lets out a defeated breath.

"Look," I sigh. "Maybe you're just coming on too strong. I don't know if she wants a relationship or anything." I'm not lying, I don't really know what she wants. "But maybe if you focus on the friendship, she'd be more relaxed."

Sam nods. "Yeah," he says. "I get it. God, you're the best," he smiles as he throws his arms around my neck.

"Chill," I laugh.

"You sure you're still not interested?" He jokes as he nudges his shoulder against mine.

"Shut up," I smile.

I follow Sam into the living room when I realize Brittany is alone in the bedroom. Is she actually sick? I should go check on her. I'm just so relieved they didn't go there _together_ together.

When we walk back into the living room, Finn is dead asleep on the couch.

"It's like barely nine," I laugh. "And he could _not_ have had that much to drink already."

"He's been up since five," Sam explains. "Early delivery or something."

Rachel cuddles up next to him and I see him tighten his grip around her.

"Some party," I joke.

"Yeah," Sam laughs.

Puck and Quinn are whispering and kissing on the couch and I suddenly feel bad for Sam. He's kind of the only one not with someone. Not that I think I'm _with_ Brittany, but there's something there. I really hope he finds someone. Just not Brittany.

"I'm gonna go check on Brittany," I finally say. I've been wanting to find her since she disappeared.

Sam nods and I quickly shuffle into her room.

"Brit?" I ask when I open the door. She's curled up on her side facing the opposite wall. She doesn't turn to face me. I think she may be asleep so I walk to the bottom of the bed to see for sure. She's staring blankly at the wall, her eyes a little red, cuddled up to something.

"What's that?" I smile as I ease myself onto the bed.

"Nothing," she says as she tucks something further under her arm.

I crawl closer to her and sit cross-legged facing her when I reach the top of the bed.

"I won't tell anyone," I say softer. Brittany looks up at me and for the first time I can actually see her face. I don't think she's actually been crying, but it looks like she could if she really wanted to. More than anything, though, she just looks confused.

"Is that a blanket?" I ask as she slowly reveals a pink corner to me.

Brittany lets out a soft laugh.

"Maybe."

"Do you normally sleep with it?" I ask her.

"Every night," she admits.

I start to laugh a little.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything," she says, tucking the blanket back under her arm. I grab her arm and pull it back out.

"No, stop," I smile. "I didn't mean it like that. I would still be sleeping with my blanket if I hadn't gotten it caught in the car door sophomore year. It was shredded right there. It was the blanket they gave me the day I came home from the hospital," I tell her. "So it was pretty thin and beaten down."

"This is from when I was a baby too!" She says excitedly.

"Can I see it?" I ask. Brittany slowly surrenders her light pink blanket.

"It's so soft," I smile. Instinctually, the first thing I do is bring it towards my mouth to breath it in. My favorite thing about my blanket was how cold it always smelt and felt. But Brittany's is so much better. It has that same brisk smell with a mixture of Brittany. It's thin, like mine was, but it's a stronger material.

"I love it," I tell her. She smiles and visibly relaxes. "So if you sleep with it every night, why haven't you been sleeping with it the past few nights?" I ask. "Or were you just hiding it?"

"No, I- I didn't want you to think it was silly," She admits in a weak voice. "And you were hear," she says even weaker. "It's easier to sleep when someone else is here."

"It's not silly," I reassure her with a smile. She just nods.

"You can tell me anything," I say. She nods again. But this nod seems like she actually believes me.

"Do you feel okay?" I ask.

"Mhm," she says.

"Then why are you in here?"

"Oh," she says, like she suddenly remembers something. "Yeah, I was a little dizzy."

"Yeah?" I say, not convinced.

"Yeah."

"So you're better then? You want to go back out there with Sam?" I ask, slowly putting things together.

"No!" she suddenly sits up.

"Relax," I say as I grab her hand. "I'm just joking."

She nods and begins to lay back down. "I'm sorry," she says.

"What's wrong?"

"I just- I really like Sam. Not like that!" she quickly adds. "But I think he keeps trying to-"

"He is," I nod.

"Yeah," she sighs. "I didn't want to lead him on," she says as she lays her head down on the pillow. I scooch up to her as I lean my back against the headboard. I start sliding my hand up and down her hair.

"I really like you, Santana," she whispers. My heart flutters as my lips curl upward into a smile. "But I didn't know how to say something to Sam. I just- I don't know what- this is all new to me," she confesses.

"Me too," I admit.

"Yeah?" she asks, looking up at me with a smile.

"Mhm."

Brittany slowly cuddles closer to me.

"Go on a date with me," I blurt out. "Tomorrow."

She looks up at me completely shocked.

"I don't have work," I tell her. "I'll set it up. It will be casual," I tell her. "A real first date."

She doesn't answer for awhile and my heart starts pounding.

"Please," I breath, suddenly nervous.

"Yeah," she quickly smiles. "I'd like that."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

_Shit_.

I take out my phone and quickly send a text to Rachel.

_Can you do me a huge favor tonight?_

"It just sucks," Quinn says as she flops herself down on the couch.

"I know," I sigh, sitting down beside her.

_Depends_ Rachel answers. I know she's just saying that though. She'll do pretty much anything for a friend.

_I forgot Puck was leaving today. Someone needs to be with Quinn tonight but I asked Brittany on a date tonight. Could you spend some time with her tonight? _

I feel awful. I was way to excited to spend time with Brittany and I didn't even think of how miserable Quinn was going to be tonight.

"So how long do you think it will be?" I ask her.

"I can't leave now because of classes. And he has to save up some more money before he can make it all the way here again. He had to save up for three months before he had enough," she says with a strained voice.

"Yeah, but the business was just getting started then, right?" I ask.

"Yeah, you're right," she sighs.

"Hey, at least you found someone," I smile. "Even if he isn't here right now. Some people would kill to feel _half_ of what you feel."

Quinn's face softens as she flashes me a smile.

"Yeah," she agrees. "I am pretty lucky."

I nod as we start to fall silent. My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my pocket.

_You had me at date! Say no more! I'll text her right now! Xoxo. You better let me know how it goes!_

_Thanks_ I type back after I roll my eyes.

"Speaking of feelings-" Quinn starts.

"I didn't know we were talking about feelings," I cut her off. She rolls her eyes a little but continues.

"You want to tell_ me_ who that song was about?"

"Why does everyone assume it has to be about someone!"

"Come on," Quinn pleads. "I've known you how long?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Santana," she scolds. "Puck was right. I've always felt the emotions when you sang a song. That's one of your gifts, I think. But _that_. That was something else."

"I hadn't performed in awhile," I shrug. "A lot of passion built up."

Quinn stares at me for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Her phone beeps and she quickly looks away.

Thank you, Rachel.

"Ugh, just Rachel," she moans. I guess she was hoping for Puck. I chuckle a little.

"Aw, that's nice," Quinn smiles. "I think Rachel's gonna come over tonight. Is that cool?"

"That's perfect!" I cheer. "I- I kind of have plans tonight and I didn't want to leave you alone. Is it okay?"

"I don't need to be babysat," she laughs. "Of course. Where are you going?"

_Fuck_. I hadn't thought about that yet. Where am I going?

"Just some professor wanting to talk about classes for the fall," I shrug. "He saw the performance."

"S, that's awesome!" Quinn cheers.

"Mhm," I smile. I give myself a mental high five for that one.

"What time is it at?" She asks.

"Soon. I actually better go get ready," I say.

"Go! Go! Dress nicely!"

"Thanks, _mom,_" I joke. But I'm glad she said it. Now when I get all dressed up for my date with Brittany, she won't be suspicious.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I take a deep breath before I knock on the door.

My heart skips a beat as the door creaks open.

"Hi," Brittany smiles hesitantly. My heart skips two beats when I see her standing there.

Her blonde hair is straightened and parted down her left side. A tight, navy blue dress is hugging her tightly. The round neckline shows just a perfect amount of skin. And her matching heels make her legs look incredible.

"You look-" we both breath at the same time. Then we giggle.

"You look amazing," I manage.

"So do you," she says.

I look down at my loose cream short sleeved shirt tucked into my tight black skirt. It does make my body look pretty good.

"You ready?" I ask.

"Mhm," she smiles.

We walk side by side out to the street. I don't think either of us know what to do. I want to hold her hand, I know that, but I don't know if that's okay with her. At least not out here in public.

"How was dance?" I ask her once we're outside.

"Good," she says. "We're gonna do Britney," she grins.

"What? Epic!"

"I know," she smiles. But then she almost looks sad.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Huh?"

"What's the matter?" I repeat.

"Oh, nothing," she tries to smile.

"Brit," I breath as I grab her hand in mine. She looks up at me and nods. Then she sighs.

"It just- it makes me think of Jeremy."

_Oh right._ How could I be so dumb? Jeremy left her here to go on tour with Britney Spears.

Brittany's hand slowly slips out of mine and I start to feel stupid. I shouldn't have reached for it. But then she tugs my arm closer to her and loops her arm through mine. This will do.

"Right," I breath. "You miss him," I say. She nods.

"More than anything." I feel her breaking with every word.

"Have you heard from him?"

"Yeah," she smiles. "He's doing great. He says Britney is a sweetheart. I knew it!" she exclaims. "She just got a bad rep for dumb stuff."

I laugh a little because of how cute Brittany is. She really does see the good in everyone.

"We should go see him on tour," I suggest. My face immediately heats up because I said _we_. She probably would rather see him alone.

"Oh, Santana! Would you go with me!" She squeals.

"Of course!" I laugh, relieved.

"Yes!" She chants. "She's in New York in like two weeks! I'm sure he could get us tickets!"

"You've done your research," I joke. She nods sheepishly.

We walk the rest of the block until I stop her right before the sign.

"Woah," she says. "This is nice."

I smile because I can hear how impressed she is.

"You said casual," she looks at me with a slight pout.

"Then why'd you dress like that?" I smirk. Brittany's face gets all red. "I'm just joking," I laugh. "You look hot."

I think her face gets even redder.

"Wait," she stops. "Isn't this where you work?"

"Mhm," I say. "Come on."

"Ah, Santana!" Henri shouts when I walk in. "This must be your friend! Hello, I am Henri," he says in his dumb accent.

"Just show us to our table," I roll my eyes.

"Of course! Follow me!"

Henri leads us back behind a giant black curtain into a dimly lit room with a single table for two. On top of the table is a single candle. It's pretty romantic. More romantic than I thought it would be. It kind of makes me nervous.

"Woah," I barely hear Brittany mutter under her breath. _Woah _is right.

"Enjoy!" he says, handing us each a menu.

"Santana, this is too fancy."

"No," I shake my head. "I work here, remember?"

"How did you get this room?" she asks.

"Henri is... kind of easy to manipulate," I confess.

"Santana!" she squeals.

"If he asks, you're a famous record producer and you're thinking about signing me."

"Santana!" she squeals again. This time with more giggles.

I just shrug.

"Is he from France?" she asks.

"No, his parents are. He fakes that dumb accent so we all think he is."

"That's stupid," she says.

"I know."

The waiter, some new guy I've only seen once, comes through the curtain to bring us some water and bread.

"So are you excited for Kurt to visit?" she asks.

"I guess," I shrug. "He's really cool."

"You like Blaine?"

"Yeah," I shrug again.

"It's cool that the guys are accepting of, you know," Brittany starts to say but finishes with a sip of water.

"Yeah," I agree, suddenly realizing why she was impressed with Sam and Finn last night.

"I mean, I know you grew up in a smaller town, so it's just cool that they're so okay with it. Jeremy dealt with a lot of crap growing up. Even at home, the kids around the town that weren't at the performing high school, they were awful."

"Yeah, I mean, our town wasn't too accepting. Kurt got bullied a lot. But glee club really made us all super accepting to everyone. Especially with gays," I tell her.

She smiles and nods. Brittany looks down as she starts to ask a question.

"So are you...?"

"Bonjour!" the waiter says again. "Are you ready to order?"

I look at Brittany and she nods.

"Can I have the Salmon, please?" she asks.

"Same here," I chime in with a smile.

He writes down our orders, nods, and escapes the room.

We both fall silent again but I can tell neither of us forgot what we were talking about.

After about a minute, Brittany looks up to me with questioning eyes and I can tell she's still asking the same question.

"I think so," I mumble. When I see Brittany's face doesn't change I correct myself.

"I mean, I am. I just- I never really, I don't know. It's hard to explain."

"We have time," she smiles.

I take a deep breath.

"I guess I kind of realized it in high school. I was in denial, though. I got with as many guys as possible-"

"So you did actually get with them?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "I got with a lot of them. But I never _felt_ anything. I just thought it was because I hadn't found the right guy, but eventually-"

"You just realized," she finishes for me.

"Exactly. That's why I ended it with Sam," I tell her truthfully. "I never felt anything. But I really cared about him. In a friend way. And I realized how unfair it was to him."

"You're amazing," she says.

"No," I scoff.

"So have you ever," she trails off again.

"I never really knew I was into girls for sure, though. I mean, I've spent the last few years accepting it. But I never found a girl, either. Until now," I add in the softest voice possible. "Picky, I guess," I shrug. "Aside from being scared, I never told anyone because I couldn't be a hundred percent sure with myself."

"Nobody knows?" she asks.

"Well, _somebody_ knows," I sigh.

"Quinn?" she asks.

"Rachel," I confess.

"Rachel?!"

I laugh a little at her shock.

"She kind of figured it out. Maybe even before I totally figured it out."

"What?" she asks confused.

"She has two gay Dads!" We both laugh.

"Anyway, that's how we became friends. She helped me out the most when I needed someone," I tell her.

I explain the story of how Rachel confronted me about it and helped me figure some stuff out.

"That's so Rachel," she laughs.

"I know," I giggle. "So dramatic."

"So does she know about this?" She asks. I can't really read her though.

"She knows I- she kind of-"

"It's okay," Brittany lets out a light laugh.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Yeah," she giggles. It's so impressive to me. How comfortable she is with Rachel knowing.

"She kind of knows I have a crush-"

"You have a crush?" she raises her eyebrows with a giggle. Still, I can see her blushing.

"Shut up," I joke. "I hadn't talked to Rachel about my sexuality since high school. But she kind of noticed," I shrug. "And it felt good to talk about it."

"That explains why she was always so eager to listen to me talk about you."

"You talk about me?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"You're interesting," she shrugs. "I want to know about you." I can't help but smile.

"So Quinn doesn't know?" she asks.

"Nope," I tell her, and I feel myself sinking.

"Do you think she'd care?"

"That I was gay? No. That I never told her? Yes. And that Berry knew before her? Double yes."

Brittany nods with a soft smile.

"What about your parents?" She asks.

"Enough about me," I stop her. "What about you?"

"What about me?" she asks.

"Are you, you know?"

Brittany swallows a piece of bread before answering me.

"I don't think so," she shrugs. My heart almost sinks completely to my feet before she quickly chimes in. I don't know why, though. I mean we're here, aren't we?

"I mean, I guess I'm maybe both?" She sounds so indifferent. Like this is so simple. That it's so normal. And I love it.

"So you've liked girls before?" I ask.

"Not really. I mean, not like- not like this," she says softer. We both smile for a moment and take a second to blush.

"I mean, I've always thought girls were attractive, but I don't think I was ever _attracted_ to a girl before, you know?"

"So you're attracted to me?" I flirt.

"Santana, inanimate objects are attracted to you," she rolls her eyes. My smile gets so big I have to take a minute to focus on relaxing my muscles.

"But I've always been comfortable with my sexuality," she shrugs. "I mean, I've kissed girls. I told you that. It just never really meant anything before," she says, looking down to her bread.

The waiter brings out our food and we eat quietly for a few minutes.

"This is amazing," she says.

"I know," I smile. "It's delicious."

"No," she says. "Well, yeah, it is. But _this_. This room. Everything. It's perfect."

I flash her a smile.

"So where did you tell Quinn you were?" she asks.

"Meeting with a professor about classes," I smile. Brittany laughs a little.

"So I shouldn't be too touchy with you if we're around her then, should I?" she asks.

My body floods with heat at the idea of her touching me anywhere.

"We can be secretive," I shrug suggestively.

"Oh," Brittany raises an eyebrow. "I like that. Everything is more fun in secret."

"Wanky," I smirk.

We talk a little about Puck and Quinn, and Rachel and Finn. Even a little about Sam. We decide we need to find him a girl to get him off our backs.

"Do you normally do this for all your dates?" Brittany asks as the waiter brings out pre-ordered crepes.

"I don't normally do anything for my dates," I say honestly. "I don't normally do _this._"

"Do what?"

"Dates," I admit.

"You've never been on a date?" she asks softly as her eyebrows crease together.

"I've been on a couple, but they weren't real ones. They were justification for hooking up later that night. Silent, awkward. I mean, Sam and I went on some real ones. But to me, they always seemed like a friend thing."

"Well then I feel pretty special," Brittany smiles.

"Good, you should. That was the point," I smile.

We finish our crepes and I begin to walk her back to her apartment.

"I wish Puck had stayed another night," I confess.

"Yeah?" she says, confused.

"Then I'd get another night with you," I flirt. Brittany's arm squeezes mine. When she looped her arm through mine as we left Per Se, my heart leaped.

"You could always spend the night anyway," she smiles.

"Brittany! What kind of girl do you take me for!" I feign offended. "It's the first date!"

Brittany can't help but laugh. It's the super cute laugh when her nose scrunches up and her smile gets super big.

"You're right," she smiles. "The second date seems more realistic to me."

I nod in agreement, but the idea of it still makes my stomach swirl.

We reach her building and I look up.

"I'll walk you to your door," I smile.

"You're such a gentleman," she jokes.

We walk upstairs and my heart starts racing. I've never done this before.

"Hey Santana?" She says as we reach the top of her stairs.

"Hm," I say.

"Thank you," she says shyly.

"Of course," I smile. "I had a lot of fun."

"No. Not just for this. For all of it. The song, the private date, being so honest. It was perfect. All of it. Nobody's ever done anything like that for me," she confesses as she looks down at the floor.

My hand slowly lifts up to her chin. I tilt it upward a little and stare into her eyes. So gentle and blue. She's beautiful. I don't get how nobody has ever done anything like this for her.

I slowly lean in, my heart pounding through my chest.

Our lips meet and I swear something explodes inside of me. It's the greatest feeling and I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Her hand lands on the back of my flowing hair as she pulls me closer. Her kisses are incredible. My stomach is flipping and my entire body is tingling.

She pulls away with a soft smile, both of us clearly at a loss for words.

And right there, in that moment, I knew it. I'd do anything for her.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Thank you so so much for helping me reach 500 reviews! You guys are incredible!

I hope you like this chapter. Hopefully it's an apology for all the angst haha.

Let me know what you think!


	15. Paradise

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-After the kiss, they go back to Rachel and Brittany's to celebrate_

_-Sam comes onto Brittany so she fakes sick and goes to sleep early_

_-Santana goes in to check on her and Brittany admits this is all new so Santana asks her on a date_

_-Puck leaves to go back to California, so Rachel agrees to keep Quinn company while Santana takes Brittany on the date_

_-Santana takes Brittany to dinner at Per Se and everything goes perfectly and ends with a goodnight kiss!_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I swear I float the entire way back to my apartment. The whole night felt like one magical dream that I could wake up from at any given moment.

It could not have gone more perfectly. I told Brittany things I've been trying to tell my best friends for years. Without even thinking about it, too. And she looked perfect. I could listen to her talk forever. Heck, I could watch her talk forever. And the kiss. It was absolutely perfect. My lips are still tingling and my heart is still hammering.

I walk into my apartment and barely hear Quinn's overly enthusiastic voice.

"How did it go?" she bolts up from the couch.

"Amazing," I smile in a soft tone.

Then I hear Rachel stampede towards me, her face as bright as mine.

"What classes did he sign you up for?!" Quinn asks with a huge grin.

Oh, right. I shake myself out of my current daze and come back down to earth. Quinn doesn't know I was on a date. I was out with a professor. One who saw my performance and wanted to discuss my options. I see Rachel take a few steps back, I think realizing that Quinn isn't on the same page as us.

"Oh, um, it's not finalized yet," I manage. "But he wants me to take more performance based classes and things." It's not a total lie. I was already planning on taking more musical classes this year.

"San! That's awesome!"

"Yeah," I smile.

"I'm so proud of you," she hugs me. "I still can't believe you got up there to sing again."

"Yeah, me neither," I shrug. "But how was your night?" I ask, realizing how rude I''m being. She was here tonight trying to deal with Puck leaving for California.

"Good," she smiles.

"We watched Real Housewives!" Rachel grins.

I flash Quinn a glare. "_When are you going to realize that's junk," _I mock, repeating the words Quinn had said to me when I was watching the show alone.

"It's addictive," she reluctantly admits. Rachel giggles a little.

"I'm drained, though," Quinn confesses as her face slowly drops. "I think I'm gonna head to bed. Thanks, Rach," she smiles, giving the small girl a hug. "Night San," she smiles.

"Night," I say as I watch her disappear to her room.

Rachel's face slowly lights up as she turns to me, waiting for some sort of explanation. I roll my eyes as I pretend to be annoyed, but I literally can't think of anything that could ruin my mood.

"What?" I ask as I turn and head towards my door. Rachel follows me, as expected.

"Well?!" She blurts out when she enters my room. I turn to face her and I can't hide my grin.

"OH my god," she blurts out. "You're in love."

"Shut up," I scowl.

"I'm joking!" She laughs. "What happened? Where did you go?"

"Per Se."

"You took her to your work? Oh my goodness, Santana," she breaths.

"What?"

"That's a big deal!"

"Why? I get a good deal there and it's nice."

"You took her out in public to a place with everyone you know," Rachel explains. "That's big."

I hadn't really thought about it like that.

"I don't care about Henri and them," I say almost defensively.

"You still see them almost everyday," she says softly. I shrug and sink into my bed.

"Anyway," Rachel says, "How was it?"

"Really _really_ good," I say slowly. Rachel's face begins to glow and I'm pretty sure mine is too.

Rachel sits down beside me and grabs my hands in hers.

"San!" she squeals.

"Stop," I say through my laughter.

"So is she gay?" Rachel asks.

"Gay enough," I shrug. Rachel giggles and squeezes my hands a little tighter.

"Did you kiss?"

"None of your business," I say as I pull my hands out of hers.

"So you kissed," she states with a smile. "Are you going to go out again?" she asks.

I stare down at the floor. I mean, of course, right? I hadn't really thought about what was next though.

"I'm sure," I say not so confidently.

"Are you guys, like, telling people?" she asks softer.

"I- I don't think so. Not yet. I mean, what if it doesn't work out?" As I say it, I feel my heart breaking. "I just don't think I need to involve anyone else right now," I say.

"I get it," she nods. "But just, what about Quinn?"

"We aren't even anything yet," I say. It's almost like I'm realizing it right as I say it. "I- I just, I don't know what I'd say. And I- I don't know," I fade out.

"Hey don't worry," she stops me. "Your secrets safe with me," she winks as she rises to her feet.

"By the way," she starts. "Does Brittany know? You know, that I know."

"She does now," I tell her.

"Thank God!" she lets out an exaggerated sigh. "I don't know how much longer I can keep it all in!"

"You better be able to keep it in!" I snap.

"Of course, of course!" She rambles. "I just meant with Brittany. I live with her!"

"I know," I breath with a light laugh.

"Santana's got a girlfriend!" Rachel says in a singsongy voice as she starts to dance out my room.

My heart flutters at the word. And then it sinks just as quickly. Because that's not what we are. We went on one date. I've gone on plenty of "first dates" that meant nothing. I know this means more, but I still know I can't put a label on it. Even if it's all I want.

"Shut up," I say again. "Not true, either."

Rachel's face changes as she hears my change in tone.

"You really like her, huh?" Rachel asks. I roll my eyes again but I can't stop it from coming out.

"Yes," I sigh.

Rachel smiles at me before she gets serious again.

"Take it slow," she says. "There's no rush. Don't get frustrated if it isn't going as fast as you'd like it to. This is so new for you. Her too, I assume?" I nod to confirm it. "Then it'll get there," she says.

I absorb her words.

"Yeah," I breath as I lie back down on my bed. "Thanks."

"Now if you'll excuse me," she smiles as she turns towards my door with a wink. "I've got details from the _other_ side of the date waiting for me at home."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Wake up! Wake up!" Quinn shakes my shoulders. "Santana, Wake up!"

"What the hell, Fabray?" I snap. Quinn giggles at my high-schoolish nickname but what does she expect waking me up like this?

"Kurt and Blaine arrived early! We're going to pick them up at the airport! Come on! Get up!"

"Since when are you this excited to see either of them," I say as I push her off of me. I slowly sit up as Quinn climbs off the bed.

"I haven't seen Kurt since he finished classes. And we haven't seen Blaine in months," she explains.

I do miss Kurt a little. He's always been one of the only ones that can keep up with my sass.

"Let's go!" She says, tugging on my arm.

"Okay, okay," I moan.

"We're meeting the girls outside in like ten minutes. Hurry!"

"Girls?" I ask.

"Rach and Brittany."

Hearing Brittany's name suddenly makes it a lot easier to move. I jump to my feet and run to the bathroom to get ready.

After I'm dressed and ready to go, I walk into the living room where Quinn shoots me a questioning look.

"Trying to impress Kurt?" She raises an eyebrow. "He's got a boyfriend," she laughs.

I look down at my skinny jeans and v-neck purple t-shirt.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. Sure, my hairs down and my makeups done, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. And my clothes are still casual.

"Nothing," she laughs. But her eyebrow is still arched a little.

"What?" I snap.

"It's just normally if I woke you up to go to the airport in ten minutes I'd just expect you to throw your hair up and put on some sweats or something. Especially for Kurt and Blaine," she laughs. It's not that I don't like them, I do, but I wouldn't worry about impressing either of them. They've known me forever.

"Sorry I _tried_," I roll my eyes.

"Forget it," she laughs as she turns towards the door. "Let's go," she says once more.

We make it downstairs and Quinn immediately falls into line with Rachel.

"Hey," Rachel smiles to both of us as she begins walking forward. Quinn and I answer in unison, Quinn says hello to Brittany, and continues walking with Rachel. I hear them immediately start talking about seeing Kurt and I turn my attention towards Brittany.

"Hey," she smiles. Her hair is down, like last night, and she's wearing a cute knitted white and black thickly stripped sweater that fits her like a crop top. It only falls about two inches above her jeans but it's still enough to give me a small peak at her perfect abs.

"Hi," I smile as I begin walking next to her. I let my arm lightly brush against hers and she bumps her shoulder further into mine. We both giggle a little.

"How are you?" I ask. "How did you sleep?"

"Really good," she smiles. "Better than usual. You?"

"Same," I smile.

"Although, when Rachel got home she was a little excited to talk."

"Oh God," I mutter.

Brittany laughs a little.

"She was just really glad I knew that she knew. You know, that we, went on a date." Brittany smiles really big at the last part.

I smile back at her as we turn the corner.

"Are we walking there?" I ask.

"Mhm," Rachel turns around, clearly overhearing my question to Brittany. "We're taking a van back, though."

"To where?"

"Kurt and Blaine's new apartment! Cooper had the whole place furnished already because he's living here. So it's all ready to move into," Rachel explains. "They just have their clothes."

Cooper is Blaine's semi-famous older brother. He did some commercial or something. I think an episode of some crime show, too.

"What are they like?" Brittany asks me softly when Rachel turns back around.

"Who?"

"Kurt and Blaine."

"Aw, are you nervous," I ask bumping into her side. She bashfully looks down to the ground. Then I realize how nerve-wracking it must be for her. I always forget she didn't grow up with us.

"Sorry," I say a little more seriously. "I keep forgetting you didn't go to high school with us."

She suddenly looks up with a big grin. "Really?" she asks.

"Yeah," I laugh. "You're just, I don't know. I just feel like I've known you a lot longer than I have," I shrug.

"Me too," she says. I try to ignore my burning cheeks and answer her question.

"Kurt's really cool," I start. "He's really smart. And quick. He's funny. Also very sassy," I laugh.

"I like sassy," she smiles.

"Me too," I giggle. "But Blaine's more composed. He always seems so mature to me. But they're both very talented. You'll like them." Brittany seems to relax a little and I quickly add, "They'll love you. Don't worry."

Then I see her nerves start to slip away.

We make it all the way to the airport and Quinn knows exactly where the gate is because coincidentally it's the same gate she picked Puck up at. We all start tiptoeing around the subject because we don't want to make her cry. She must notice because when we get to the gate she turns to us.

"Guys, I'm fine," she rolls her eyes.

We eye each other very carefully.

"Like Santana said, some people don't even have somebody. At least I found someone, even if he can't be here every day."

"You're so smart," Brittany whispers with a light laugh to me.

"Thanks," I giggle.

"Plus, you don't need a man to be happy. Right Santana?" She asks. Then she turns to Rachel and smiles. "Have you seen how happy she's been since she decided to perform again? And Brittany's one of the happiest girls I've ever met. And she's single. So why should I have a pity party just because I can't see Puck for a little?"

In unison, Rachel, Brittany and I all look down to the floor. I know my face is burning but when I look up, Rachel and Brittany are both blushing so much harder than I could imagine.

"Right," I smile up at Quinn, trying to relieve us of the awkward moment. "Men are overrated," I smile. Brittany stifles a giggle and, almost as if on queue, the high-pitched voice rings through the terminal.

"Kurt!" Rachel and Quinn turn around in unison. Rachel leaps into his arms and he spins her around as the two of them squeal. When he drops her, Quinn and him embrace.

"Come on," I say to Brittany as we walk over towards them.

"Santana," Kurt sings my name in a low voice as he pulls me into a hug.

"Hi Kurt," I laugh. "Where's Blaine?" I ask.

"Oh," he says looking around. "Getting the bags somewhere," his voice fades out. "Oh! Blaine!" He cheers when Blaine comes from behind, struggling to push a cart full of bags. He puffs out a breath.

"Hey guys," he smiles cooly as he begins to hug Quinn and Rachel. Kurt turns back to us and I point towards Brittany.

"This is Brittany," I tell him.

"So you're my replacement," he jokes. Brittany smiles but I can tell she's getting nervous. "Just messing," he smiles with the wave of a hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Kurt." He leans in and embraces Brittany in a quick hug.

"You too," she smiles.

"Hi Santana!" Blaine smiles as gives me a hug. I introduce him to Brittany and he gives her a friendly and polite handshake.

"Let's get the bags in the car," I say. "I'm dying to see your decked out crib." Kurt rolls his eyes but quickly agrees and we begin rolling the bags outside towards the sidewalk.

We start piling the bags in the car and Rachel can't stop jumping around Kurt, kissing his cheek, and giving hugs.

"Congrats on NYU," I tell Blaine as I help him load up the rental van.

"Thank you!" he smiles.

"You'll love it."

"How was your year? Did you like it?"

"Pretty good," I say.

"I heard you just nailed a performance. Rachel told us. That's awesome!"

"Oh, thanks," I reply. "It was fun. How was Glee this year?"

"We missed you guys," he says as he slams the trunk shut.

"Blaine!" Kurt calls. "What's the address?" he asks. Blaine walks up to the driver, gives him an address, and we pile into the van. Q, Rachel, and Kurt are in the back row, and Brittany, Blaine, and I take the front row.

"How was your flight?" Quinn asks.

"Good," Blaine says.

"Bumpy," Kurt says at the same time. I giggle a little.

"Is Cooper gonna be there today?" Rachel asks, hopeful. She's always had a crush on him. She literally thinks he's like fricking Brad Pitt famous or something.

"No," Blaine says with a straight face. "He has some work to do. He just got the furniture in and set it all up. Well, he hired someone to set it up."

"Did you pick it out?" I ask.

"We _did,_ but knowing Cooper he probably decided to put whatever he thought looked best. So who knows what it will end up looking like."

I laugh a little because it's so true. I've only met Cooper two or three times, but it's clear he's very different from Blaine. Very into himself.

"Are we getting food?" Quinn asks. "I didn't get to eat this morning."

"We can get take out or something," Kurt suggests.

"I can go pick it up once we get to your place. That way you can get settled."

"Great!"

They debate about what kind of food to get and I look to my left at Brittany. She's gazing out the window.

"Do you have class today?" I ask, trying to make her feel more at ease.

"I already did," she laughs.

"What?" I ask confused. We just woke up.

"It's almost one," she explains. I check my phone in disbelief. She's right. "I had class at eight thirty."

"Geez," I breath and she giggles.

"Wait," I whisper. "I didn't mean to keep you out late. You should have said something."

"You didn't keep my out late," she laughs. "And why would I say something? I was having fun. And I've gone to eight A.M. classes after much worse," she smiles.

I can't help but smile back. The mention of last night alone still makes me giddy.

"Santana's still playing nice," Kurt mutters to Rachel who lets out a high pitched laugh.

I snap around to him.

"Zip it, squeaky."

"Maybe not," he laughs. "Brittany, has Santana giving you any problems?"

"No," she shakes her head seriously. Then she turns to me. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?" she asks with a slight smile.

Kurt, Quinn and Rachel all burst out laughing.

"Oh, I like her!" Kurt says through his laughter.

"You were with me all year," I narrow my eyes at Kurt. "I've been good all year."

"Yeah, I know," he smiles. "I'm just messing around."

"I, for one, think it's a welcomed change," Blaine adds.

"Thank you, Blaine," I say loudly without taking my eyes off of Kurt.

We make it to their apartment and it's only a few blocks from ours. An easy walk. It's up two flights of stairs and I'm suddenly so grateful we didn't have to help them move in. There's no way I could have made it up these stairs more than twice without keeling over.

"Woah," I mutter when I walk inside. I look to Kurt and Blaine and they both look just as shocked as I do. By the looks on their faces I can tell this is _definitely_ not what they picked out.

The living room is a pretty normal contemporary room, but the furniture is so much nicer than anything I could ever afford.

"Are we going to owe him more money?" Kurt asks a little worried.

"I- we can't," Blaine stutters. "He did this without asking."

"Holy Shit!" Rachel screams from inside the kitchen. Well, I think it's the kitchen, until I see a second open doorway leading to what looks like paradise.

"Watch your step!" She says before I almost trip.

"What the fuck!" I shout with a laugh. There's a legit sandbox that makes up the entire perimeter of the room. And it's actually filled with sand. Then there's a hammock laying in the center of the room.

"Oh my god," Kurt and Blaine breath in unison when the room comes into their view.

"This is awesome!" Kurt shouts.

"What are we gonna do?" Blaine begins to freak out. "This can't be legal? It's going to be messy, I mean, this can't be safe."

"Would you relax!" Kurt sighs. "It's amazing!"

"This is _so cool!_" Brittany squeals as she kicks off her shoes and runs into sand.

"I love hammocks!" I say, following Brittany into the sand. I jump onto the hammock and Brittany quickly sits beside me, both of us sitting with our feet planted on the ground.

"Me too!" she smiles.

"Move over!" Quinn laughs as she runs next to Brittany. Brittany starts to rock the hammock and Quinn and I let out a squeal in unison.

"Rachel can we get one?" Brittany begs.

"She's a trip," Kurt laughs to Rachel.

I giggle when I see how happy Brittany is. She's grinning so big and can't stop rocking the hammock.

"I used to have one at my Chicago house," she explains to me. A pain shoots through me as I remember why she had to leave her Chicago house. Her Mom's cancer. But Brittany's smile doesn't falter. "We actually had a backyard there, unlike in Baltimore. I haven't been on one since then." Her voice is strong and happy and my admiration for her only grows.

"What are we going to do?" Blaine asks.

"What do you mean what are we going to do?" Kurt snaps. "Absolutely nothing! We're gonna enjoy it!"

Blaine eyes the pseudo-beach and then looks back up at Kurt.

"Please," Kurt pouts as he grabs Blaine's hands in his own.

"Fine," he sighs.

"Yay!" Kurt, Rachel and Brittany squeal at the same time. Kurt jumps to give Blaine a huge hug.

"While this is heartwarming," Quinn starts. "I'm starving. I'm going to pick up the food." I think they decided to order Chinese.

"I'll go with you," Blaine says.

"Don't you want to settle in?" Rachel asks. "I can go with Quinn."

"No," he breaths. "I'm okay. Everything's clearly set up. You can help Kurt settle in," he tries to smile.

It's clear Blaine needs a minute to calm down. The walk will probably do him good. He's never liked anyone to see him flustered. He's clearly annoyed, and I can't blame him. Blaine has probably been living in Cooper's shadow forever. Cooper probably thinks he's so much better and smarter than Blaine. And now even Blaine's best friends are swooning over something Cooper did.

Kurt clearly see's this and gives Blaine a small kiss before letting him go to get some fresh air.

"They're cute," Brittany whispers to me when Blaine and Quinn leave.

"So Brittany," Kurt turns towards us as he unfolds one of the two beach chairs I hadn't noticed. They were stacked up against each other in the corner. "I hear you're a killer dancer," he smiles.

Brittany begins to blush and shakes her head. "Nah," she shrugs.

"Brittany," Rachel snaps. She looks up at her like she just got caught cheating on an exam. I giggle a little.

"She's sick," I say.

"I want to see!" he pleads as he sits down in the chair. Brittany stays quiet and I feel bad she's being put on the spot. Although, come to think of it, she kept trying to put me on the spot to sing. It was a little different, though.

"I'm sure she'll have a show again at the end of the summer," I try.

"That's forever from now!" He cries. "Come on."

"You can see her when we go to a club. She's the most fun to watch there, anyway," Rachel smiles.

"When? Let's go!"

Rachel laughs. "Kurt, you have to get settled in."

"What about tonight? Blaine could use it, too. Did you see him?" he says throwing his hands up.

"I'm free," Rachel shrugs, looking at us. Brittany smiles a little as she looks at me for an answer.

"I have work," I say. Everyone's face deflates. "I get off at eight, though." They all clap at once. Then we all laugh a little as we realize how similar they're acting.

"Let's go check out your room!" Rachel squeals as she tugs Kurt up from the chair.

I sigh as I pull my feet onto the hammock and turn my body so I'm lying completely on it. Brittany quickly follows my lead and lays beside me. The greatest thing about hammocks is how they always force you to the center. Especially with two people. Brittany falls right into me so our sides are completely against each others. We both let out a soft giggle.

"This is awesome," she smiles as we look up at the light blue ceiling.

"I know," I smile. I'm not talking about the room, though. Laying this close to her already has my heart racing.

"I'm excited to go out tonight," she says.

"Me too."

"I was gonna ask you if you maybe wanted to hang out," she says in a softer voice. "But now I don't have too." She looks over at me with a big smile.

I smile back as my stomach pulses a little at the thought of her wanting to hang out again.

"I guess you'll never know my answer," I smile as I search for Brittany's hand with mine and slip my pinky into hers.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks as she turns her body to face mine.

"Hm?"

"Why is everyone so surprised that you're this nice to me?"

A semi-sick feeling fills my stomach.

"I-" I try to start but what I want to say doesn't feel right.

"I was a bitch," I sigh. "I _am_ a bitch." I can't bring myself to look at her so I keep my eyes on the ceiling.

"You're not a bitch," she quickly adds before I can finish.

"I am though," I tell her.

"Santana, stop."

"No," I sigh. "I was a _big_ bitch in high school. I just- I don't think I was ever fully happy with myself. And I took it out on other people. But I grew up a lot last year," I explain. "They're just still not completely used to it."

Brittany's about to say something again when I start talking again.

"I mean, I am happy with myself now. But I still have my mean moments. I'm just not like you," I explain. "I'm not sweet like you. You're naturally a _good_ person. They just aren't used to seeing me be this open and nice to someone I just met. Or people I've known forever, really," I laugh.

Brittany doesn't say anything but I can feel her staring at me. I slowly turn my head towards her so I can try to read her expression. I just told her straight up I'm not a good person. I didn't even think about what I was saying. I just said it. But I could have just ruined everything.

She's staring right at me, her eyes soft.

"You're the sweetest person I've ever met," she starts to say.

"You obviously haven't met a lot of people," I joke.

"Santana," she scolds me.

"Sorry," I mutter.

"Seriously," she says looking into my eyes. We're so close and having her staring this deep into my eyes is making me feel completely naked. "You were dealing with figuring yourself out in high school. And you're not a bitch. You're honest. And you're funny. And you care about your friends. And you're talented. And you go for what you what. If you think that makes you a bitch, then I was everyone was a bitch," she pauses. My lips begin curling upward a little as a warmth fills my body. Nobody ever says stuff like this to me.

"I've never met anybody who would have done half the things you've done for me, especially after just meeting me. You _are_ the sweetest person I've ever met," she whispers.

Then Brittany slowly inches her lips onto mine. If I hadn't already completely melted from her words, I melt right against her mouth. She's so gentle. Her lips have a sweet mint flavor to them that makes me want more. She slowly pulls away with a smile.

"I've wanted to do that all day," she confesses. My smile grows even bigger.

"Me too," I breath. I slowly lift my hand to her cheek as I pull her back onto my lips. I can't help but let out a soft "hm" as she presses a little harder this time. Her hand falls on my hips and a chill runs through my skin. We part our lips in synch and Brittany's tongue hesitantly touches mine. My hand brushes her hair away from her face as she deepens the kiss.

"Food's here!" Quinn shouts as we hear a door slam.

My heart jumps out of my chest and Brittany jolts her lips off of mine. Her hand frantically leaves my hip, placing it on the other side of me, forcing the hammock to rock.

"Woah," she breaths as the hammock tips and she tries to push herself back onto her side. Suddenly, the hammock flips and Brittany and I tangle together as I fall onto my back.

"Umph," I groan as we crash into the sand, Brittany on top of me.

"Are you okay?" She quickly asks.

"I'm fine," I smile.

We both immediately burst out into a laughing fit.

"I'm so sorry!" She tries to get out through her laughter.

"San? Brittany?" Quinn's voice is shockingly close. Brittany pushes herself off of me and falls onto her back.

I look up and see Quinn standing in the doorway staring down at us.

_Shit._

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The next update shouldn't' take too long. But then updates are going to be a little harder to manage with school and soccer starting up. BUT I will definitely not abandon the story! I promise to at least have one a week!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Let me know what you think!

Xoxo

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . Com


	16. Wanted

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana returns from her date with Brittany and has a talk with Rachel_

_-The girls go to the airport to pick up Kurt and Blaine the next morning_

_-They head back to their new apartment and Quinn leaves with Blaine to get food_

_-They decide they're going to go out tonight so Kurt can see Brittany dance_

_-Brittany and Santana are left alone on the hammock Cooper bought_

_-After a tiny heart-to-heart Brittany kisses Santana but Quinn and Blaine's sudden arrival startles the girls and the hammock flips_

_-Brittany falls on top of Santana and when they look up Quinn is standing there _

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

My heart stops when I see Quinn in the doorway.

"What the hell is this?" Quinn says with a laugh. It's not really a laugh, though. It's more like a forced chuckle of disbelief.

A million thoughts flood through my mind. Did she see us kiss? Does it look like we were? I have no clue how much she saw so I don't even know what kind of lie I can get away with.

"I- she- we fell off the hammock," I stammer. Quinn smiles as her eyes narrow.

"You saw how she liked to rock it," I shrug as I sit up, brushing some of the sand off of me. "It flipped." Quinn's face relaxes and she lets out a lighter laugh.

"You're too funny," she smiles at Brittany. "Come on, foods here." She turns to walk towards the kitchen and Brittany and I both let out a relieved sigh. I turn to face Brittany and she looks down at the sand sheepishly.

"Sorry," she mutters.

"Not your fault," I smile as I stand up. I reach my hand down to help Brittany up. She grabs mine and I lift her to her feet.

"Plus," I smile, "it was worth it." Brittany blushes as I twist around and walk to the kitchen.

"That room is awesome," I say as we sit down at the table.

"Where you guys building a castle or something?" Kurt asks as he eyes us. I look down Brittany's body and see the sand all over her jeans.

"Oh, we fell off the hammock," I say again. Kurt just laughs but I can see Rachel's eyes widen a little. A small smile forms on her lips and I shoot her a quick glare.

"Oh!" Kurt quickly says, "By the way, we decided we're gonna go out tonight. I wanna see if this chick can really dance," he nods to Brittany. "Is that cool?"

Blaine nods and Quinn smiles.

"She goes to Juilliard," Quinn says with a flat voice.

"Still want to see it for myself," he shrugs. "But you'll go?" he asks them one more time.

"Of course!" Quinn says.

"Slow down," I say to Quinn whose literally devouring her plate. Brittany giggles and I can't help but smile at her. Her laugh is so cute.

"So Santana," Kurt asks. "What song did you sing on Saturday?"

"Hesitate," I tell him with a mouthful. "By Steve Moakler."

"Oh, I love that song!"

"You know that song?" Quinn asks, shocked.

"Yes! It's so beautiful."

"You should have heard her!" Rachel brags.

"I can picture your voice now," he says in a dreamy voice with his eyes closed.

"No," Quinn says. "Trust me, you can't."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kurt asks.

"The _way_ she sung that song," Quinn says. Kurt's eyes immediately narrow as he looks at me.

"Shut up," I say as I roll my eyes.

"I'm telling you," Quinn shrugs as she shoves some more food in her mouth. "There's something she's not telling us." By her voice, it's clear she's joking, but deep down I know she's not.

"Oh la la!" Kurt sings. "Who's the lucky fella?"

"Shut it," I tell him. Everybody lets out a light laugh and I make myself join in.

"What about you, Brittany?" Kurt asks. "Are you taken?"

Brittany doesn't look up at us. She pushes her lo mein around with her fork a little before she finally shrugs.

"Nah," she says. My heart sinks a little. I didn't expect her to say yes at all. I don't think I even wanted her to say yes right here. But I want her to be mine. Only mine.

I don't know if Kurt thinks it's a sensitive subject, maybe a recent heartbreak or something, but he tries to be delicate.

"Just enjoying the single life," he smiles. Brittany nods hesitantly with a small smile.

"Shit," I mutter when the kitchen clock comes into focus. "I gotta get ready for work," I stand up. I quickly toss my plate away and say a quick goodbye.

"I'll see you guys tonight?" I ask.

"I'll meet you at home," Quinn nods before I turn for the door.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The door closes behind Santana and Kurt turns towards Rachel.

"What's with her?" he whispers.

"She has work," Rachel shrugs.

"No," he smiles. "I mean, I saw her a little less than two months ago. But she-" he stops suddenly, searching for the right words. "I've never seen her so... happy?" he asks, almost as if he's looking for confirmation.

"Are you talking about Santana?" Quinn asks.

"Yeah," Kurt nods.

"She's like a totally different person," Blaine adds.

"Well," Rachel starts, "you haven't seen her in a year. This was a big year for her. I mean, she really didn't cause any drama or anything. She's really lightened up, too."

"By the end of senior year she had lightened up a lot, too, though," Quinn adds.

"That's true," Kurt agrees. "But seriously. Even since I've been gone, she's changed even more. I mean, she was so well behaved all year, but I don't think she was this _happy_."

Brittany looks down at her plate and avoids all eye contact. It almost feels like she's intruding on a private conversation.

"Well it is summer," Rachel says after a dramatically long pause.

"Yeah," Quinn adds. "She doesn't have any classes or anything."

"I guess," Kurt says, not convinced. "Whatever it is," he shrugs, "I'm happy for her."

The group all agrees silently as they finish up their lunch. After the girls help the boys clean up, they decide it's time they head home to get some rest before they go out.

"See you tonight," Blaine smiles as he hugs all the girls, Brittany included.

"Bye Brittany!" Kurt grins as he hugs the girl. "It was nice meeting you!"

"You too!" She smiles. Kurt then turns to give Rachel a hug.

"I like her," he whispers in her ear. "I mean, I'm irreplaceable, but she's the next best thing," he winks.

"Goodbye," Quinn rolls her eyes as she stands at the door, waiting for Rachel and Kurt to finish their usual hour long goodbye.

"I'm coming!" Rachel groans.

The girls walk out onto the street and begin navigating their way back to their respective apartments.

"What'd you think?" Rachel asks Brittany.

"They're awesome," she smiles. "They're funny together, too."

"I know," Rachel smiles. "I'm so excited to go out tonight," she says. "Finn and Sam have work and I thought everyone was gonna stay in."

"Yeah, I need to get out," Quinn agrees.

"You want to come over while you wait for Santana to finish work?" Rachel asks Quinn when they get onto their block.

"That's okay," she shrugs. "I have to finish some homework before we go out."

"So... Skype with Puck," Rachel corrects her. Quinn begins to blush but quickly speaks up.

"No! I mean, hopefully, but I do have to finish my work."

"It's okay," she giggles. Brittany does too. "We'll meet up with you tonight."

"Thanks," Quinn breaths. "See you girls later."

As soon as Quinn turns to cross the street, Rachel's eyes flash over to Brittany.

"So," Rachel grins. Brittany doesn't say anything, confused by what Rachel is insinuating.

"What?" Brittany asks as they approach their building.

"You still have sand on you," Rachel says nonchalantly as she wipes sand off of Brittany's butt.

"Hey!" Brittany squeals.

"Sorry, are you taken or something?" She jokes.

"Shut up," Brittany tries to say with a straight face but she can't help but let out a few soft giggles.

"Seriously," Rachel starts. "You didn't just _fall_ off that hammock, did you?"

Brittany's face heats up as Rachel smirks at the blonde.

"You guys are so cute!" Rachel squeals. Brittany laughs a little as she shuffles up the stairs towards their apartment.

"Quinn almost saw us," Brittany finally confesses in a more grave tone before opening their door.

"What?" Rachel asks, shocked.

"We heard her voice, and we kind of freaked out. And we flipped out of the hammock, and then Quinn walked in, right after I pushed myself off of Santana. I don't think saw, I mean, she didn't freak out too bad or anything."

"Close one," Rachel breaths.

"Yeah," Brittany sighs.

The girls put their bags away and walk into the kitchen, each grabbing a glass of water.

"Can I ask you something?" Brittany asks as she sits down on a kitchen chair. Rachel eyes the girl before deciding to sit beside her.

"Sure," she smiles.

"Do you- Would Quinn be mad? If she found out? That Santana liked girls?"

"What?" Rachel asks, shocked. "No! No, no. Quinn is totally accepting!"

"Oh," Brittany says, clearly confused. "Then," she pauses, "never mind," Brittany sighs.

"What?" Rachel encourages. "Why? Did Quinn give you that impression?"

"No!" She quickly says. "It was just, Santana seemed a little nervous to tell her when we talked about it. I mean, I get it's big news! I just, you know, and I didn't know if she wanted to keep it from her for a reason."

Rachel stares at the girl for awhile. Brittany begins to nervously fiddle with her cup, her face defeated.

"You mean, like the girl?" Rachel asks cautiously. Brittany doesn't look up. She keeps her head down and falls silent.

"Brittany," Rachel sighs as she reaches for the girl's hands. Brittany slowly looks up at her with soft eyes. "This has _nothing _to do with you! I mean-" she quickly stutters, "it has a lot to do with you! But not in that way! Quinn loves you! Everyone does. Santana's just, she's very private. And this is a big thing. I think she's just worried Quinn will be mad she kept it from her this long."

"That's what Santana said," Brittany shrugs.

Rachel nods.

"It's just, everyone's so accepting with Kurt and Blaine. And I know Santana and I aren't there yet, and I don't know if ever will be, but I, I kind of," she gets quiet. "I kind of want that."

Rachel's smile grows enormously big.

"I mean, I know we're new, but- I- I want to kiss her whenever. I obviously want her to be comfortable, though. This is new to me, too, but I like her. I really like her. And everyone else is okay with them, so I just, I figure they'd be okay with us, too. You know, if we really happened."

Rachel smiles her "aw you're so cute" smile. "You're really brave, you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've never liked a girl before, have you?

Brittany shakes her head. "No. At least, not like this," she lets out a breathy laugh.

"Most people who would find themselves in your position would totally freak out. I mean, you could maybe be with a guy and be happy, if you found the right guy. And here you are, falling for a girl and you're just, you're accepting it. Embracing it, even. And you haven't worried about what people are going to think. Not about you, at least. Only about Santana."

Brittany just smiles a little. "Maybe I could be happy with a guy. I have been before," she shrugs. "But I'm happy now. _Really_ happy. So why would I try to run from that?"

Rachel looks at Brittany, completely astonished. Her view on everything is so refreshing to the girl.

"Santana cares about you," Rachel says. "I'd talk to her about how you're feeling. But don't push it if she doesn't want to talk. I'm sure you've figured that out by now, though," Rachel smiles.

"Thanks" Brittany says with a laugh. "You're the best," she says, leaning down to hug Rachel from behind. "I'm going to go Skype with Troy for a little. We'll get ready together?" she asks.

"Of course."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"You look so cute," Rachel says when she walks in my room. I quickly tighten the strings around my neck of my black jumper.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I bite.

"Sorry!" She throws her hands up.

"Can you tie this?" I roll my eyes as I turn my back to her. She ties the thin strings around my neck.

"Brittany looks good tonight," she whispers. My heart flutters a little but I ignore her.

"Thanks," I mutter when she knots the bow. "You look alright," I joke as I examine her tight, long sleeve gold dress.

"Thanks," she says sarcastically with a glare.

"I like your hair like that," she says as she tugs on my flat-ironed hair.

"Hey," Brittany smiles from the doorway. My heart bangs when I see her, eye make up dark and matching her black dress. One sleeve is three quarters and the other side hangs off her shoulder.

"Hey," I breath out. I'm too enveloped in Brittany to notice Rachel's eyes flickering between us with pure glee.

"You look really good," she says softly.

"Yeah, you too," I manage. _Yeah, you too?_ What is wrong with me.

"Brit?" Quinn calls from the living room.

"Oh, um, yeah," Brittany says to us. "Quinn's ready."

Rachel lets out a soft laugh as she pushes her way past us and out the door.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Hold on," she grabs my wrist as I'm about to walk out the room.

Brittany's hands land on my hips as she leans down towards me. She gives me one short, soft peck on the lips and my body shudders.

"Now I'm ready," she grins, spinning out of the room.

I know I can't wipe the smile off my face when I enter the living room, but I don't care. Luckily for me, Quinn and Rachel are already halfway out the door.

"Geez," I whisper, "they really needed to get out."

Brittany giggles as we walk downstairs.

"How was work?"

"Same old," I shrug. "What did you do?"

"Oh!" She says excitedly. "I Skyped with Troy-"

"How is she?" I asked.

"Oh, good," She shrugs off my question. "But good news! Her and my Dad are planning to visit!"

"Brit! That's awesome!" I smile.

"I know!"

"When?" I ask.

"Hopefully next week," she says with the biggest smile. All her teeth are showing. "I can't wait for them to meet you!" She says. My stomach twist, first in a good way, then in a bad.

She said she can't wait for _them_ to meet _me_. Not for _me _to meet _them. _It feels incredible that she wants us to know each other at all.

But then my stomach drops a little, when I think about what that means. I have to actually meet them. I've never been great with parents. Quinn's mom was the only one of my friends parent's that ever really truly liked me. Everyone else just focused on my bad rep. And kids, well I don't have the best track record with them, I guess. I mean, my little cousins love me. But some kids I just don't have the patience for. But this is Brittany's family.

"San?" Brittany asks. "You okay?"

"Oh," I stammer. "Y-yeah. I can't wait to meet them!" Brittany smiles at me and links her arm through mine. Rachel loops her's through Quinn's at the same time.

When we get to the club, Kurt and Blaine are waiting outside for us.

"Damn, ladies!" Kurt calls. "Looking good!"

"You too," Rachel says to them both.

"Let's get in there," Kurt nods to the door. "I wanna see what this girl can do," he winks at Brittany.

"Can we get some drinks first?" Quinn pleads.

"Of course!"

The doorman gives Kurt and us girls wristbands to show that we're twenty-one. Blaine doesn't get one but as soon as we're inside Kurt's able to slip him a beer. Quinn also manages to order an extra shot for him. After a few minutes of getting some drinks in us, Kurt grabs Brittany's hand when some remix of Heads Will Roll comes on.

"Ah! Let's go!" he says. Brittany giggles as she stumbles to her feet. Rachel nods out to the floor and we all follow. By the time we make it to them, Kurt's hands are in Brittany's as they dance close together.

"Let me see it!" He giggles. Brittany's hesitant at first, but once she see's Quinn, Rachel, and I cheering along she gives me a small smile.

"Go Brit!" Rachel screams. We form almost a circle around her where we all stand dancing.

Her hands start at her hair as she slides them down her body, her hips swaying back and forth. She does one giant hair flip as the song picks up.

Every few beats the sound of a loud female moan blasts through the speaker, only adding to the hotness of this.

She bends her knees a little, puts her arms out, and shakes her hips in quick little movements. When she does a body roll, though, my stomach tightens. She looks so hot.

"Oh my God!" Kurt squeals. Quinn and Rachel are giggling and I try my best to smile so I'm not caught staring too intensely.

She drops down to the ground and pops up and down a few times, big smile on her lips. When she pops back up for good, though, she begins to dance on Kurt. He dances along but can't stop laughing. She's grinding up against him and throwing some pelvic thrusts in, but she's making it look so good. It doesn't even look trashy or slutty at all. It looks like art or something.

"You're insane!" He giggles as the song comes to an end. Brittany's confidence she just had while dancing withers away as she stops her dance and immediately begins blushing.

"My girl!" Rachel screams as she puts her arm around Brittany whose now staring at the floor.

"The way you move! It's hypnotizing!" Kurt tells Brittany.

"Thank you," she says bashfully.

"Wow," he smiles.

"Another round on me!" Quinn smiles as she heads over to the bar.

"Someone's trying to get hammered," I mutter. Blaine flashes me a small smirk.

"Can you try not to be so hot," I whisper to Brittany when the group pulls ahead of us. She blushes again and looks up at me with a smile.

"I will when you do." She prances ahead of me and grabs a shot from Quinn.

"One more!" Quinn screams after we take back the shots.

"I have class tomorrow," Brittany shakes her head with a smile. "I'm good for now."

"I'll wait a little," I smile. Kurt and Rachel take another one with her before Kurt demands we get back on the dance floor.

Since Kurt and Blaine start dancing together, it only leaves us girls again. Without thinking, I interlace my hands in Brittany's and pull her closer. Rachel quickly grabs Quinn's the same way. Brittany's bare legs rub against mine and my heart starts racing faster. I toss my arms around Brittany's neck and her hands slowly start to trace down my sides. Her nails drag along my skin and chills take over me. I get a little closer so more of my leg is touching hers. As soon as I do, Brittany's hands quickly find their way down to my lower back. Her hands land on my ass and I find myself gasping for a quick breath. She quickly flinches and pulls her hand back up to my back and whispers in my ear.

"Sorry," she breaths.

"No," I quickly stammer. "I liked it."

Even though we've kissed and danced like this, we haven't been _touchy_ in a sexual way, really. We've sort of just been sweet. But having her hands on my ass only reassured how badly I want her. _That_ way.

Brittany grins and she slowly lowers her hands again. I remove my hands from her neck and put them lower on her back, pulling us closer together.

"Can Santana keep up?" Kurt screams over to Brittany. I shoot Kurt a quick glare and immediately pull out my sexy moves. I go up and down Santana, the way Brittany had done to Kurt. My hands fall up and down her sides and I let my hips grind into hers.

Quinn squeals and Kurt quickly joins her.

"Damn, San! Nevermind!"

"Yeah," I smirk at him before turning back to Brittany. I see her swallow a little as I toss my arms back around her neck. Her eyes flicker from mine down to my lips and back up to my eyes. She lets out a choppy breath and quickly takes a step away from me. She quickly leans towards my ear.

"Be right back," she stammers as she disappears in the crowd. I look to the others but their each in their own world dancing. I know I'm the gay one, but I swear Quinn and Rachel could pass just as easily together.

I turn around and try to find the familiar blonde hair but half the girls in the club have blonde hair. I push through in the general direction of Brittany. I finally spot her in the back corner heading into the bathroom. I chase after her and shove the door open.

"Brit?" I call when the door opens. About three girls reapplying their makeup turn to me. They give me a look that I completely disregard when I see Brittany on the far side. She's staring right at me and takes a deep breath before sitting on the window seat style red bench-couch. I rush over to her and sit right beside her.

"Are you alright?" I ask, flustered.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," she breaths. "I- I just needed a breather."

"Is something wrong?" I ask in a whisper.

"I- I," Brittany pauses. "You were really hot out there," she whispers with a smile.

"So were you," I say, placing my hand on her thigh. I don't know what made me do it, but it makes my stomach tighten. I see her flinch a little but she smiles back.

"It was really, _really_ hard," she says even softer, staring at my hand on her leg. "Not to kiss you," she finishes. A smile floods my face. In that moment, it's just as hard not to kiss her.

"I had to come in here so I didn't do anything stupid," she stammers. "I- I'm sorry."

I give her leg a slight squeeze until she looks up at me. I smile softly at her and she visibly relaxes.

"Don't worry about it," I smile. "I think we both just need to tone it down." Brittany nods with me.

"Here, at least," I add. Brittany smirks at me and I know she understands.

"Brittany! Santana!" Quinn stumbles into the bathroom. Everyone turns to her but she doesn't seem to notice.

"Quinn!" Rachel chases after her. All the girls in the bathroom roll their eyes.

Quinn sits beside us and offers us two shots I didn't know she was holding.

"No thanks," Brittany grins. I shake my head along with her. Quinn shrugs and downs one of the shots.

"On second thought," I quickly grab the other shot from Quinn. "I'll take this. Thanks." I finish the shot before Quinn can take it. She looks like she's had enough already.

"Thank you," Rachel breaths. "She's getting out of hand!" We all laugh a little but I don't think Quinn knows why. "You guys alright?" Rachel asks.

"Oh, yeah," Brittany smiles. "All good."

"We kind of left Kurt and Blaine," she explains.

"Right," I stand up. Brittany follows and we file out of the bathroom. Quinn can't stop giggling as we make it back into the club. She can't stand too well either. But Kurt and Blaine are still dancing hand in hand on the dance floor, so we run out to meet them. Some techno beat is blasting through the speakers and Brittany grabs onto me before we make it all the way out.

"Where'd you guys go?" Kurt asks.

"Just had to go to the bathroom," I explain.

"You missed some good songs!" He says. Blaine nods in agreement. "Can you dance to techno?" Kurt asks Brittany, clearly just looking for a show. She laughs a little before starting to dance with me again.

She gets closer than ever before, out bodies completely flat against each other. My heart is beating against her skin as she grinds into me. Kurt giggles a little as his attention falls back to Blaine.

Brittany's hands dig into my sides and her face buries into the crook of my neck. I feel her lips brush against my skin and I shiver. She slowly brings her lips up to my ear and holds them there for a moment before saying anything.

"I want you," she whispers huskily. My body heats up as my breath picks up. I freeze, trying to form words.

"Come home with me," I breath out.

Brittany looks up to me, eyes wide. Still, they're so soft. She's almost waiting for me to confirm I just said that.

"I'm sure I'll have to take her home," I nod to Quinn, whose clinging onto Rachel like her life depends on it. "Come with me."

Brittany stares into my eyes for a moment. I can almost sense her fear. But then she starts nodding. Slow at first, but then fast.

"Yeah," she smiles. "Yeah. Okay."

"Let's go," I mutter, not wanting to wait any longer.

"We gotta get Q home," I tell Rachel.

"You're telling me," she sighs.

"Geez, how much did she drink?" I ask. Rachel just shrugs. I don't know how she drank so much. I felt like we were all together most of the night.

"Seriously," I say. "We'll take her home." I signal to Brittany and me.

"Oh," Rachel breaths, starting to understand. "I can take her home. With me."

I think about it for a moment. I think it's a little more suspicious if Brittany and I have our sleep over alone. Especially if I send Quinn somewhere else.

"It's fine," I say. "I think we just gotta get her home. She'll pass out, anyway," I explain.

"I'll help," Rachel agrees before heading off to find Kurt and Blaine. The second Rachel disappears, Brittany's hands land on me from behind. She slides them onto my hips and they slowly slide inward down my groin. All my muscles clench.

"Is that okay?" She whispers. I turn around to face her. She's blushing big time. Something comes over me and I feel suddenly bold.

"I'll let you know tonight," I wink.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Just want to say sorry the pace of the story can feel slow, I just really write realistically. But what a lot of you are waiting for is coming haha. Some more drama, too.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.

Xoxo

slaves4hemo . tumblr . com

_I want you_ whipser dance


	17. Last Night

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Quinn almost walks in on Brittany and Santana kissing _

_-Rachel and Brittany have a talk about why Santana hasn't told Quinn_

_-Brittany confesses that her family is coming to visit soon_

_-The group goes out clubbing so Kurt can see Brittany dance (he's super impressed)_

_-Kurt isn't convinced Santana can keep up so she shows her sexiest moves for them_

_-Brittany get's too turned on and has to excuse herself to the bathroom so she doesn't kiss Santana in public_

_-Santana follows her to the bathroom but Quinn and Rachel quickly follow and it's clear Quinn has had too much to drink_

_-They go out to dance again (where they continue to get touchier than ever) and Brittany whispers into Santana's ear "I want you"_

_-Santana asks Brittany to go home with her and they decide to take drunk Quinn home early so they can head back_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Come on," Rachel mutters with a relieved sigh as Quinn makes it up the final step to our apartment. Quinn releases her tight grip on Rachel as she stumbles into the living room.

"I'm fine," she slurs.

"Let's just get you to bed," I say.

"I'll grab her some water," Brittany offers before disappearing to the kitchen.

"I'm not tired," Quinn protests again as her eyelids flutter shut.

"Woah," Rachel breaths when Quinn trips over the edge of the carpet. We both grab onto her wrists and walk her to her bed. She lies down and her head crashes onto the pillow. She lets out a content hum. Rachel giggles a little while Quinn rustles around on the covers.

"Here's some water," Brittany says when she turns into Quinn's room. "Oh," she mumbles when she sees Quinn.

"Somebody was sleepy," Rachel smiles. Brittany places the water on the side table next to Quinn's bed. Watching her bend over the slightest bit makes my stomach twist. Ever since we left the club, my heart hasn't stopped racing and my muscles keep clenching. I didn't know it was possible to feel this turned on, especially without kissing. But I can't stop staring at her. Even the way she walks. When she turns around and catches me staring, a small smirk grows on her lips.

"Well, I'm gonna head out," Rachel says a little too loud. It's like she thinks Brittany and I are in some enclosed glass box. In a way, that's kind of how it feels. Like we're alone. All the time. When I'm with her, I kind of forget anyone else is around.

"Thanks, Rach," I tell her. We probably would have had trouble getting Quinn home this quickly without her.

"Anytime," she smiles as she hugs the two of us. We start to walk her out and I realize how close I am to being alone with Brittany. Quinn's passing out as we speak, and Rachel's about to leave.

Rachel jiggles the handle open before turning towards us with a smug look.

"Have fun, you two," she snickers.

"Out," I roll my eyes, closing the door behind her. Both Brittany and Rachel giggle. When I close the door, a bundle of nerves take over my stomach. Now what? How do I not be awkward? I never am with this stuff, but still, I guess I just don't know what to expect. I quickly shake my thoughts as I realize I'm over thinking things again. When I turn to face Brittany, I realize how dumb I was being. She's standing there staring at me as seductively as ever. She starts to smile and begins to close the gap between us. She walks closer and closer until her hands land on my hips. She pulls me towards her so our hips are touching. Then it looks like she gets nervous. Well, maybe not nervous, but unsure of what to say. Or what to do. I wrap my arms around her neck and she begins to relax. I quickly lean in and press my lips to hers, dying for the taste. I feel her gasp as our lips crash into each other. Her hands lower down my hips. Then she pulls away with a deep breath.

"I've been waiting to do that all night," she smiles. I push my lips against hers harder and my stomach flips. My hands shoot up to her cheeks as I grab her face and pull it even closer. She suddenly parts her lips from mine and kisses down my neck and I let out a sharp breath.

"Let's. Go. To. Your. Room," she says in between kisses and deep breaths. I grab Brittany's hand in mine as I rush towards my bedroom without hesitation. She runs behind me as I pull her into my room, closing the door behind me. She giggles a little as she puts her hands back on my waist. She smiles as she starts to slowly push me backwards. I back up further and further, staring into her crystal blue eyes as my knees buckle against my mattress and I fall onto my back. Brittany climbs onto the bed, straddling her legs around my hips. She smiles as she lowers herself onto me. Her lips push against mine again and my stomach pulses. She parts her lips and pokes her tongue out, gliding it across my plumper lips. My body shudders as her hips grind against mine. Her lips leave mine as they frantically search my neck. Chills hit me and my breath picks up. Her hands slide up my body until they reach my neck. I feel her fingers tinker with my strings and my heartbeat picks up again. Her lips continue to suck on my skin as she slowly unties my jumper. My hands find her ass and my nails start to dig into her, rocking her further into me. She smiles against my skin as she starts to pull the top of my jumper down, exposing my black bra. As she starts to kiss down my chest, I wrap my legs around her waist and use my core to flip her onto her back. She lets out a small squeal before I kiss her lips again, silencing her. She runs her fingers through my hair and I feel the remainder of the top of my jumper falls onto Brittany's stomach. Immediately, her hands find their way to my chest. My stomach tightens and I take my lips off of hers and softly kiss her neck. Brittany begins giggling as her neck twists away from me.

"S-sorry," she laughs. "I'm ticklish."

I lean back in and kiss even softer. I smile against her and I feel her let out a soft laugh. Her hands brush against my hair and I can tell she likes the kisses. I pepper soft kisses along her jawline and Brittany let's out a quiet moan. Her hands dig into my bare stomach and she starts to pull my jumper lower. The more I taste of her skin, the more I want. Unlike my jumper, her dress has to go over her head.

My hands slowly slide down her sides as she begins to fidget underneath me. My fingers slide under the bottom of her dress and I begin to push it further up her thighs. I feel her thighs flex a little and she wriggles upward as I separate my lips from her just long enough to pull her dress over her head.

"Shit," I breath when I stare down at her perfect body.

"You're turn," she smirks as she flips me back onto my back and slides down my body. She begins to tug at the bottom of my jumper, pulling it down my legs. I kick the jumper off from around my feet. Her hands fall on my bare stomach and she smiles as she rubs them all over me. She grins before she starts kissing my body aggressively. My neck, collarbone, chest, and stomach.

My heart is racing so fast and stomach is pulsing. Something inside of me is building up.

I grab her face in my hands and pull her back up to kiss her. She lets her bare stomach fall onto mine as we kiss faster and faster.

I'm so out of breath but I don't want to separate from her. Not even for a minute.

Her hand drags down my stomach, slower than ever, until she reaches my waistband. She fiddles with the top of my underwear with her thumb. My pulse picks up and everything in me clenches as I feel where she's going. She slips her thumb under and then freezes, pulling her lips from me.

"Yeah?" she asks, clearly out of breath.

"Yeah," I breath back in confirmation before sitting up the slightest bit to reconnect our lips. I let my hand fall onto the back of her neck as her hand goes further down my body.

I shudder the instant her fingers slide between my folds. After my lips freeze against hers, she releases her mouth from mine and brings it back to my neck, softly kissing my skin.

"You taste. So good," she says with choppy breaths.

She starts making slow circles against me and the buildup gets bigger.

Brittany's legs adjust so she's straddling my thigh. She starts to grind herself against my leg as her pace picks up. Her lips keep working on my neck. Her fingers slide lower and she runs through my wetness before softly touching my clit. I let out a sharp gasp as my fingers dig into her sides. She starts back up with the circles and my body feels like it's about to explode. I bite down on my lip as the buildup gets too much.

"Uh," I mutter as my muscles tighten. Brittany quickens her pace and presses a little harder and my stomach twists as I clamp my legs together.

I writhe beneath her with one last loud moan, finally relaxing. Brittany collapses on top of me and we lay there completely breathless.

_Woah_.

My body is shaking as I realize what just happened. I've had guys _inside_ of me and I've _never_ felt anything close to that. Brittany didn't even enter me and I still felt that amazing.

Brittany presses her lips to my neck again before she rolls off of me just enough to get a look at my face.

"You're so hot," she mutters before leaning in to give me soft kiss. I can't help but smile as she pulls me close to her body. Her body heat hits me like a blanket.

"Come here," I smile as I scooch up on the bed and lift the covers up. Brittany follows as we crawl under the covers together. We gravitate towards each other and she brings her hands up to my cheeks as I place mine on her hips. Our stomachs are against each other and I can feel both our hearts pounding. She gives me another soft kiss.

"That was amazing," I whisper as we kiss again. There's so much I want to say, but that's all I can manage. She smiles against me before nodding.

"You make me feel incredible," she confesses as she parts her lips again. I melt against her. I didn't think I could feel any more butterflies than I had just felt, but they multiply.

"So do you."

We kiss again. And again. And again. They're soft, sweet, gentle kisses that make me feel like I'm flying. I feel like I could do it forever. My eyes are heavy but I don't want it to end. So I keep kissing her. And she keeps kissing me. Until finally, we fall asleep together, lip to lip.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

My eyes blink open and my stomach flutters when I see the beautiful blonde laying peacefully in front of me. My hands are still resting on her sides and her hand is on my neck. I smile at her when I remember last night. I lean into her warmth and lightly plant a kiss on her nose.

"Hm," she mutters as her hand slips further onto my neck. Her eyes squeeze shut a little tighter.

I let my hand slowly inch up the side of her perfectly sculpted abs. Her body is so warm and smooth. When I get a little closer to her chest, Brittany's eyes begin to open.

"Good morning," I whisper with a smile. Her cheeks immediately begin to burn but she quickly smiles back.

"_Great_ morning," she jokes. I giggle as she nuzzles her face closer to mine before closing her eyes again.

"Yes it is," I agree. She leans in to close the gap between us as she snatches my lips in hers. My stomach flips just as it had last night. She's so soft and I let out a sigh when she pulls away.

"Making sure it wasn't a dream," she smiles. I lean in and kiss her again with a little more force. I let my leg slide over her bare stomach and I straddle her. After a few kisses that leave me searching for air, I pull away.

"Definitely not a dream," I tell her. A door slams somewhere in the apartment and we both jump a little. We freeze but after a few seconds we don't hear any footsteps.

I climb off of her and realize we're both relatively unclothed. I pick up our sprawled out clothes and toss them onto the bed.

"Actually, I'll just grab you something else," I tell her as I decide if she had slept over like a normal friend I wouldn't have made her sleep in her dress. I get her a pair of athletic shorts and an old t-shirt as I slip into a similar outfit. I see Brittany staring at me before I pull the shirt over my head. Then she quickly sits up and checks the clock.

"It's almost time for class," she explains as she pulls the covers off of her, revealing her long legs. "I better get going anyway."

"Oh, yeah," I smile, trying my best to stop gazing at her body. She quickly puts her clothes on and hops out of bed. "Let me grab you something to eat," I mutter.

"No, it's okay. I have to stop home to grab my stuff. I'll just grab something quick there," she shrugs.

"You sure?"

"Mhm," she nods. I feel like she's about to rush out of my room when she slows down as she approaches me.

"Last night," she starts as she begins to wrap her arms around my neck. I let my hands fall onto her hips. "I had a lot of fun," she blushes before leaning in to kiss me. I take in her taste and the feeling in my stomach because I don't know when I'm going to get to kiss her again.

"Me too," I tell her. She stares at me almost like she doesn't believe me. I give her another kiss and I feel her become a little less stable.

"Will I see you tonight?" She asks as she starts to pull her arms off of me.

"Hopefully," I smile. "Text me after class?" I ask. Her smile grows and we walk towards the apartment door.

"Morning," Quinn groans from the couch. She must be watching TV but it's either on mute or a really, really low volume.

"Good morning, sunshine," I laugh as I see her looking like death on the couch.

"Hi," Brittany smiles but Quinn doesn't react. She just moans a little more as she falls deeper into the couch.

"Have fun at class," I smile as I open the door for Brittany. We look at each other a little awkwardly before she leans in to give me a hug.

"I'll talk to you later," she says before the door closes behind her.

"Want some toast?" I ask Quinn when I walk back to the couch.

"Ugh," she croaks. "Don't even talk about food."

"Okay," I laugh as I sit down beside her.

"How do you feel?" I ask, even though the answer is pretty obvious.

"Like shit," she says with a light laugh.

"I don't even know how you got that drunk," I say. "I mean, I turned around and you were wasted."

"I don't know either," she shakes her head. "Being away from Puck really got to me, I think."

I nod but it makes me feel awful. That Quinn thinks she has to be drunk to have fun without Puck. I don't really think it's going to be a habit, though. Just Quinn in love.

"Did you have fun?" She asks.

"Yeah," I say, trying to keep my smiling to a minimum. "Did you?"

"From what I remember," she scoffs. "Why was Brittany here?" she asks. "Did Rachel bring Finn back to their place?"

"Finn wasn't even with us," I explain. "How drunk were you?" I laugh.

Quinn laughs a little but shakes her head. "I didn't know if he showed up or something," she shrugs. "So why was she here?" I suddenly get nervous and try to calm myself down.

"She was tired," I shrug.

"She couldn't walk across the street to her place?" she asks.

"What, do you have a problem with her?" I begin to get a little defensive. "She helped me carry your drunk ass back home and she was tired so I told her to crash here."

"No!" Quinn quickly throws her hands up. "Brittany's awesome, I was just joking. Thanks for helping me home," she says softer. "Sorry if I made you leave early," she adds.

"No problem," I say in a nicer tone. "You didn't make me leave early," I tell her. Truth is, I used her as an excuse to leave early.

I almost feel bad for snapping at Quinn, but we're so used to each other's bitchy sides. As mature as we've been the past year or two, the beginning of high school was full of us competing constantly. I honestly think we became friends because we were the only ones who could handle the other's bitchy side.

"What's that?" Quinn sits up a little as she squints her eyes. "Oh my God, San!" She says as her thumb runs over my neck.

"What?" I panic.

"Did you get attacked by a fucking vampire or something?" She jokes. _Shit._ Last night. Brittany kissed, sucked, and even nibbled a little on my neck. I can't even imagine what it looks like.

"Is it that bad?" I ask as cooly as I can. I stand up and head towards the mirror a few feet away from the TV. I have a small hickey surrounded by a clear bite mark. But it's not that big. Really, it's pretty concealable. I am dark, too, so it makes it harder to show up. Brittany did a good job, considering.

"It's not even that big," I roll my eyes.

"Who the hell did that?" She asks.

"Some guy from the club," I shrug.

"Geez, blackout for one night and I miss you getting with some randy."

"We didn't even kiss," I shrug, trying to play it down. "He just really liked my neck."

"Well that worked out," she laughs. "You love people liking your neck." It's true. I've always been known to get hickeys. Well, Quinn is usually the only one who knows that. She's the one who sees them the most. My neck has always been a sweet spot for me. Brittany hit it just right last night.

"Have you talked to Puck?" I ask, diverting the attention away from my neck.

"We have a Skype date soon," she smiles. "Do you have plans tonight?" She asks.

"I think so," I say.

"What are you doing?"

"Hanging with Brittany," I shrug.

"Want to go to see that new Ryan Gosling movie?" She asks.

"Did you hear me? I'm hanging with Brittany," I say again.

"So?" She asks. "She can come," she shrugs.

"Maybe," I say. "I'll ask her."

"Rachel, too," she adds.

"I'm gonna go shower," I say, rising to my feet.

As I stand under the hot, running water, I can't help but think about Quinn. And Brittany. How am I supposed to tell Quinn. It's a big enough bomb to drop on her that I'm gay, and I've known for awhile, and so does Rachel. But then to drop that it's Brittany I've begun to fall for. I just don't know how she's going to take it all. As sweet as I know Quinn is, and not judgmental, she's really hard to read. And she can be weird about dumb stuff. Like I don't think she would even think about me being gay, she'd be mad I told Rachel. Or that I like Brittany and not her. Or something else irritating like that.

When I get out of the shower, though, my head is cleared. I have a new text from Brittany.

_Can you come over tonight? There's someone I want you to meet :)_

My heart starts racing at the thought of meeting anyone important to Brittany. But then I start getting nervous because this could be anyone. What if it's Ryan, her old boyfriend?

_Sure. Quinn wanted to hang, too. Should I cancel on her? She can hang with Rachel_.

I don't know why I feel the need to include Quinn. Maybe it's the guilt of keeping something like this from her. Or maybe it's because I feel bad Puck isn't here. If Brittany suddenly left, I know I'd be feeling like her, too.

_She can come! Rachel will be here, too!_

"Change of plans," I call out to Quinn.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Why can't we go to the movie?" Quinn mumbles as we cross the street.

"Because Brittany said she has a surprise. And she wants us to meet someone," I tell her. A little after Quinn had said she would go, Brittany texted me that she also had a surprise for all of us.

"Can we go after?" She asks.

"I don't know what the surprise is!" I breath, trying not to scream.

"What are you gay for her?" Quinn says with a little attitude. I know she's completely joking, but it obviously strikes a chord.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I bite.

"I don't get why we can't hang," she says, suddenly sounding more vulnerable. "I mean, she can come too. I have no problem with her. It's just, I have an opinion too."

"I'm sorry," I breath after a long pause. I don't want Quinn to feel hurt, but I really don't know how else to explain it all. "Brittany just wants us to meet someone. If it isn't important, we can go see the movie. If not, I promise we can go tomorrow. Or whenever you want."

"I'm sorry," Quinn says in the same soft tone I was just using. "I'm just- I'm on edge with the whole Puck thing. I've never been like this. When we Skyped he seemed quieter than usual, and I just hate being away from him thing. I shouldn't take it out on you guys. I'm sorry," she mumbles.

"I get it," I tell her as we enter their building. "I'm sorry I haven't been sensitive."

Quinn laughs a little.

"What?" I say, smiling.

"Love really makes people go insane," she say. I know she's talking about her, but I can't help but think about me.

"Yeah," I agree with a laugh.

We finally make it up to the top of the stairs and I decide to knock on the door. I don't know who's in there, so I don't know what the etiquette is.

"Hey!" Brittany smiles wide as she opens the door. She looks extra happy. Like she's glowing. She gives me a hug and I realize then how much I missed her touch. Then she gives Quinn a hug.

"Hi Rach," we both smile. She's leaning against the couch with a smile almost as big as Brittany's.

"What's going on?" Quinn says, suddenly aware of their beaming eyes.

"Well," Brittany sings. "My surprise!" She smiles.

Quinn and I eye each other when Brittany and Rachel both try to silence their apparent squeals.

Suddenly, Brittany pulls out four tiny white pieces of paper from behind her back and holds them up in the air like she's holding a hand of cards.

"I got the tickets!" She cries.

"What?" My mouth drops open.

"Front row!" She screams. I run to Brittany and practically jump onto her, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"Oh my God," I breath. "You'll get to see him!" I smile when we pull away.

"I know," she says completely over the moon.

"Wait, what?" Quinn asks, totally lost.

"Britney Spears!" I shout. "She got tickets!"

"Four of them! For all of us!" Brittany adds. "From Jeremy." Quinn's jaw drops.

"What?" Quinn whispers in disbelief. "When?"

"Tomorrow!" Brittany chants. "Tomorrow, we're going tomorrow!"

"Oh my goodness!" Quinn attacks Brittany with a hug just as big as mine. "Thank you so much!"

"Of course!" Brittany smiles. By the look on Quinn's face, I know she doesn't remember anything that just happened between us.

"I'm so excited," Quinn breaths. Rachel quickly joins in on the celebration and they begin hugging and jumping around.

Brittany's arms wrap around my back as we hug again.

"Sorry we couldn't be alone," she whispers in my ear. "Something came up."

"I can wait," I smile. "Last night will hold me over," I flirt. "For now."

She giggles a little before sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to her.

"I missed you," she whispers in my ear. It takes everything in my not to kiss her.

To be honest, being secretive is one of the hardest things ever. But at the same time, it kind of makes it hotter. It's like when you're in a library. You know you're not allowed to laugh so suddenly everything becomes ten times funnier. But you have to suppress it. That's what we're doing now.

"I missed you, too," I whisper back. "That was a great surprise," I smile, looking at Rachel and Quinn who are still giggling super loudly.

"I know," she grins. "I can't wait."

"I can't wait to see Jeremy dance," I tell her.

"Me too," she agrees. "And Britney. Britney is gonna kill it!"

"I know! She _is_ my childhood," I laugh.

"Do you think she'll sing Hold It Against Me?" Quinn asks.

"Duh!" Rachel rolls her eyes. "It's one of her newest hits. The real question: Is there _any_ chance she'll sing Lucky?" We all laugh as the girls sit on the couch across from us. "That's my favorite!" Rachel smiles.

"I love that one," Brittany agrees.

"I can't wait to _actually _see her perform," Quinn says.

"My ten-year-old self is dying," Rachel says. "She's been looking good, too. Like really hot!"

"I know!" I say a little too quickly. But Quinn's too busy fangirling over the concert to notice.

"Oh, so that's my competition," Brittany whispers in my ear. "another Britney."

I bite my lip to hide my smile.

"Well," she breaths, "you definitely have a type," she jokes, making my cheeks burn.

"This is the best surprise ever!" Quinn says louder, bringing Brittany and I out of our small little world.

"Thanks," she smiles. Then she turns to Rachel and looks a little nervous. She turns back to me. "That's not the only surprise I have," she says.

"What?" Quinn jumps in. "Backstage passes? Are we meeting her?" She practically yells.

"Brittany?" A soft, tiny voice comes up from behind. All our heads snap towards her bedroom door and my heart stops as I suddenly feel a lack of air.

I recognize the tall, handsome, brown haired man almost instantly. I saw him in Brittany's photo album. He's standing in her doorway, smiling sweetly. The same eyes as Brittany.

As if he isn't enough confirmation, a smaller blonde girl peaks her head over the couch. She quickly grabs onto her Dad's leg and nervously eyes us all.

Brittany turns back to me and smiles nervously. She nods a little to the man and girl behind her before turning back to me.

"My family," she breaths.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! Sorry for the wait! Soccer has taken over my life! This next week should be easier but I'll still be kind of busy so hang in there!

Let me know what you guys think! Thank you! You guys rock!

Slaves4hemo . Tumblr . Com

A tall, fit man with light brown hair and blue-green eyes is smiling with his arms around a pretty Brittany. His arms are big. And he looks young. There are clear signs of aging, but he looks younger than my Dad. He's handsome, too.


	18. Tangled

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Sexy time!_

_-Quinn spots a hickey that Santana quickly covers by saying it's from some guy and Quinn was too drunk to remember_

_-Quinn is feeling a little left out/lonely without Puck around and took it out on Santana a little_

_-They head over to Brittany's for a surprise_

_-They learn she has Brittany tickets for the girls _

_-But that's not the only suprise... Brittany's father and sister are already in the apartment_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Brittany's Dad smiles softly as my stomach tightens.

"Hello girls," he says in a clear and confident voice.

"These are my friends," Brittany smiles as she stands up. "This is Quinn and this is Santana," she says pointing to us. His eyes land on me a little longer than Quinn and his smile doesn't falter.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Pierce," Quinn says.

"Please, call me Rick."

"Nice to meet you," I add. I've never felt so nervous meeting a parent. And he's probably the least intimidating parent there is.

I immediately turn to Rachel and shoot her a glare. She knew he was here and she didn't send me a warning text? She shrugs with a nervous smile, clearly understanding my glare.

"Troy," Brittany coos. "Come here." The small blonde girl slowly eases her way out from behind her father's leg. She looks just like Brittany. Everything about her. Even the way she walks. She makes her way to Brittany and latches onto her leg for comfort as soon as she's within reach. We all giggle a little.

"This is Rachel," she smiles, pointing to her. "She's my roommate." Troy must have been napping or something when Rachel met Brittany's Dad. Troy gives a slight wave. "And this is Quinn, my friend. She lives with Santana right across the street," she smiles as she points to me. "This is Santana."

The girl's face lights up in recognition.

"She sings?" She asks Brittany. Brittany lets out a light laugh with a nod.

"They all sing," Brittany explains. "But yes," she whispers. "She did the show."

Troy tugs on Brittany's arm until she leans down low enough for Troy to whisper in her ear.

"Yes," Brittany giggles after Troy is done talking in her ear. "They are all very pretty."

Rachel, Quinn, and I all smile at the cute mini Brittany whose now blushing. Troy suddenly detaches from her sister, slowly walking over to sit down next to me. She looks up at me and, in the softest voice ever, says, "I want to be a singer, too."

"You do?" I smile. "You're sister said you're really good." Troy turns to Brittany and grins.

"Will you sing for me?" Troy says with puppy dog eyes.

"Maybe another time?" I offer. She nods happily.

"Troy, come on," Mr. Pierce says in his soothing voice. His voice is very smooth and really friendly. "Our hotel room should be ready by now. We can see the girls tomorrow."

"I wanna stay!" She cries. "Please? I wanna stay with Brit Brit."

"She can stay the night," Brittany says. "Wait," she looks to Rachel. "Is that okay with you?"

"Of course!" Rachel smiles.

"I don't know," he Dad starts.

"Dad," she breaths.

"Fine!" He finally smiles. "Don't stay up to late, though! I'll pick you both up for lunch tomorrow." He gives each of his daughters a kiss on the head and grabs his suitcase next to the door. "It was nice meeting you all," he says to us. "Thanks for taking good care of my little angel," he says sincerely before closing the door behind him.

"Sleep over!" Brittany and Troy cheer at the same time. Brittany scoops the little girl over her shoulder as Troy lets out a squeal.

"I want a sister!" Rachel cries.

"Me too," Quinn agrees.

"I missed you munchkin!" Brittany says to her sister as she lays her down on the couch. As soon as Brittany sits next to her, the smaller girl shuffles onto her lap. Brittany start brushing through her hair with her fingers.

"Which one lives here?" Troy asks looking at all of us.

"Me," Rachel smiles.

"Cool," Troy smiles. "Are you friends with my sister?"

"Yes," she laughs.

"My sister is funny," she brags.

"Yes she is," Rachel agrees. Brittany begins braiding her hair. "Did I hear you want to be a singer?"

"Mhm," she smiles with a hint of shyness.

"What's your favorite song?" Quinn chimes in.

"I like Reflection."

"From Mulan?" I ask with a smile. The girl nods excitedly. "That was my favorite song as a kid!" I exclaim.

"Look at me," I start to sing softly, immediately looking at Quinn. Quinn quickly chimes in for the next line with a smile. We used to sing this _all_ the time as kids. We'd pretend my bed was a stage and we'd dance on it while we sang into hair brushes. We'd dress up in one of our mom's fancy outfits and use her makeup. We'd _always _get in trouble.

"You may think you see who I really am but you'll never know me." Quinn and I are giggling as we sing. Brittany starts to sing the next line with us and I'm a little taken back by how pretty her voice is, too. So taken back that I don't realize Troy has begun to sing.

"Every day it's as if I play a part. Now I see if I wear a mask I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart." Towards the end, Troy's voice comes into focus and I hear how beautiful it is. It's so pure and soft, because she's only ten, but it has this angelic tone to it. And a surprising amount of power.

"Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?" We all belt out with light laughter. We all quiet down as Troy sings the last line.

"When will my reflection show who I am inside?"

We all clap and she immediately gets red, the same way Brittany does, making me smile even bigger. Brittany ties the bottom of the french braid with a ponytail holder and lifts Troy to her feet.

"Come on, little one," she says as she stands. "Let's get you to bed."

"What?" She cries. "No fair."

"It's way past your bedtime!" She says. "You've been traveling all day. You have to get some rest."

Troy pouts but she must realize she's going to lose the battle because she stops arguing.

"Can she come," she finally says in a soft voice.

"Santana?" Brittany asks as she follows Troy's pointed finger to me. Troy nods. "Sure," Brittany shrugs as her lips turn upward. The little girl walks over and grabs my hand, pulling me with her towards Brittany's room. I look towards Rachel and Quinn. Quinn is staring at the little girl with a cute expression, but Rachel is looking at me. She's smiling, almost proudly, with a slight raised eyebrow. She gives me an encouraging nod before I follow the girls into Brittany's room.

Troy quickly strips out of her tiny leggings and tight t-shirt and slips into one of Brittany's T's. It falls right below her knees. She jumps onto the bed and scoots into the center, patting each side of the bed for both of us. Brittany sits down first and I follow a little more hesitantly.

"You're a really good singer," I tell her as I lay beside her. I stay seated pretty upright, though. She smiles sheepishly.

"You are too," she says. "My sister says you're her favorite singer."

"Does she?" I grin, looking over at Brittany. My stomach expands in happiness as Brittany begins to blush.

"Mhm," Troy says as she pulls the covers up to her chest. "She said you sang beautiful at the show. And now it's her favorite song." Now I think my face is heating up. I knew Brittany felt that way, but the fact that she told someone in her family makes me melt.

"Are you best friends?" She asks, looking between us. "My best friend can't sing," she shrugs. I giggle a little because even though she's ten, she reminds me so much of Brittany. I can picture Brittany saying almost anything her sister says. I look over to Brittany, waiting for her answer. But she's looking at me.

"She's my best friend," Brittany finally says, still gazing at me. A chill hits my neck.

"Yeah," I quickly agree, causing Brittany to smile at me.

When I look back down at Troy, her eyes are fighting to stay open.

"I want a friend like Santana," Troy mumbles to Brittany. She laughs and nods.

"I'm sure you'll find one," Brittany says, smiling at me. "Close your eyes," she says, brushing a strand of hair off her forehead.

"But I- I don't want to sleep."

"I'll be here in the morning."

"What about Santana?" she asks. "I want to see her again."

"You will," she smiles. "I'll make sure you do." Troy nods contently and let's her eyes flutter shut. Brittany and I stay quiet for a minute or two, letting Troy relax.

"She's so cute," I finally whisper.

"Did you pay her or something?" Brittany laughs. My forehead creases a little. "She never latches onto people like that."

"Really?" I ask. Troy seems pretty friendly.

"She's usually pretty guarded with new people. But she loves you," she smiles. Something in me relaxes. It's like I'm automatically closer to Brittany, just because her sister likes me.

"Not that I thought she wouldn't like you," Brittany quickly says. "I mean, why wouldn't she? It's just unlike her to like someone _this _much this quickly," she laughs.

"You told her about me?" I finally ask. Brittany's face heats up.

"I told her about your song. I mean, not that it was for me," she whispers. "Just how good it was. But I told her you were my new friend. And I said you were really special. A special friend." My smile grows.

"What about your Dad?" I breath. She smiles like she knew I was thinking it.

"The same thing," she smiles. "I told him you were really special."

"Would he- would he be mad?" I manage to get out.

"My Dad? If I liked you? No," she shakes her head. "My Dad lost one woman in his life, he isn't willing to lose another," she says softly. I reach over Troy and take Brittany's hand in mine.

"What about your parents?" Brittany asks. I shrug. Brittany asked this once before, on our first date, but I quickly changed the subject. "You haven't told them about you yet, right?"

"No, not yet," I gulp. "My Mom, she'd be more understanding."

"But your Dad?" She asks, already sensing the answer.

"He's just really conservative," I say. "I mean, I guess it's good they're divorced now, though. This way my Mom doesn't have to feel like she has to believe in whatever my Dad does." Brittany nods but I can see a sadness in her face.

"It's okay," I smile. "I'll be fine." Brittany nods with me.

"We should get out of here so we don't wake her," Brittany says, rising to her feet. I follow behind her. "Thanks for being so good with her," she smiles when we reach her door. Before she turns to open the door, I lean in a plant a short kiss on her lips. She smiles back at me.

"What was that for?" She asks. I shrug.

"For you."

"Santana made a new friend," Quinn smiles at me when we enter the living room.

"One more friend than you," I joke.

"She's so cute," Quinn tells Brittany.

"Thanks," she smiles. We both sit down across from Rachel and Quinn on the couch. "And thanks for being so nice with her."

"I'm so excited for tomorrow," Rachel squeals.

"Me too!" Quinn agrees. "I have to get up early for class, though, so I better head back." I stand up with Quinn and watch her hug both the girls. "Thanks again for the tickets," Quinn says to Brittany. I quickly give a hug to Rachel and move onto Brittany.

"Want to go to lunch with us tomorrow?" Brittany whispers when I give her my hug. "Troy would love it."

"Yeah," I smile. "I'd love that."

"Cool," she says, her face lighting up. "I'll text you tomorrow."

As I walk out of the building, I suddenly realize how tangled things are getting. I'm going out to lunch with Brittany's family. And we're together. But we're not together. And nobody knows except for Rachel. And now maybe Brittany's family will too. And my best friend still has no idea.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"So she liked her," Rachel breaths as Brittany sits back down on the couch.

"Loved her."

Rachel smiles at the blonde.

"I invited her to lunch with my Dad and Troy tomorrow," Brittany reveals. "Troy really wanted to see her again."

"Brit! That's amazing!" Rachel squeals.

"I know," she breaths.

"So you're pretty serious, then?" Rachel asks. Brittany looks up at the girl as she decides what to say.

"I- I guess so." But then she stops. "What am I supposed to tell my Dad?" she asks. "I mean, we aren't technically anything."

"You want to tell your Dad?" Rachel smiles.

"Shouldn't I?" Brittany asks. "I mean, I'd ask Santana first, obviously."

"So you really like her?" Rachel asks, almost with a skeptical tone.

"Yeah," Brittany answers a little perplexed.

"I'm sorry," Rachel breaths. "I believe you, it's just- I'm just looking out for her, I guess. Right now, with you, she's really fragile," Rachel explains. "I mean, I've never seen her this vulnerable before." Rachel's speaking softly, but her voice still sounds piercing in the deafening silence. Brittany isn't even breathing.

"Just be careful," she says. "If you aren't sure how you're feeling, slow down. Because I can't watch her get hurt."

Brittany swallows before speaking up.

"I really _really _like her," Brittany says with a shaky voice. "But this is all new to me. I want to move forward, but I don't know where forward is." It almost sounds like she's about to cry, but she's strong enough to hold it back.

Rachel smiles at the girl before placing her hand on her trembling leg.

"I don't know how to tell my Dad anything. Especially if Santana can't tell Quinn. I know I should wait, but part of me doesn't want to. I want to share her with him."

"Talk to her," Rachel says. "Tell her what you just told me." Brittany slowly nods.

"Thanks," she says. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she laughs.

"No problem," Rachel smiles. "Sorry if I made you feel like I didn't think you liked Santana. I was just being protective, I guess."

"No worries."

"If I had to pick anyone for Santana, it would be you."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"So you're going out with them?" Quinn asks me as we make our way out of the apartment.

"Yeah, I can still stop by and say hi," I say. Quinn and Rachel are meeting up with Sam and Kurt for lunch. Finn has work and Blaine had some placement tests for school. Since I'm going with Brittany and her family, we decided we'd just meet up outside of where the rest of the guys are meeting.

"Troy loved you," she laughs. "She's so cute. She's just like Brittany."

"I know," I laugh.

"Everything she said, it was exactly how I pictured Brittany saying it." We turn the corner and I get a text from Brittany.

_Can't wait to see you!_

A smile takes over my face.

"Her Dad's pretty cute," Quinn says sheepishly.

"Q!" I squeal.

"What! He is," she laughs. "He's in great shape. You know, for a Dad." I shake my head but can't stop giggling.

"Have you talked to your Dad recently?" She asks softer. The mood changes to a serious one almost instantly.

"Not really," I shrug. "I mean, I told my mom I performed, and she was really happy. I don't know if she told my Dad or something, because he hasn't spoken to me since."

"Had you been talking before that?" She asks.

"Yeah, a little," I admit. "I mean, nothing serious. But we were staying in touch."

"I'm sorry," Q breaths.

"It's alright," I say.

The truth is, I know my Mom didn't say anything to my Dad. She'd be _way_ to dumb to say something. She knows he'd get mad at me. But she easily could have said something to one of my other relatives. Like my Abuela. She could have said something to my Dad by accident. She's getting old. Or my Tía. She could have accidentally slipped up. Whatever the case, I know my Dad knows I sang. Sure, he hasn't called me. But that wouldn't be _too_ out of the ordinary. Really, I know he knows because I tried to call him the other day. Just to check. The first time I called, there was no answer. The second time I called, though, he ignored the phone call. It cut off after one and a half rings. At first I thought maybe he was with a patient or something, but I was just trying to make myself feel better. If he had been working, he would have called me back. But he never did.

"There there are," Quinn points down the block.

We have the usual greeting, hugging each other like we haven't seen each other in weeks.

"I have to go check on our reservation," Kurt quickly says before saying goodbye to Brittany and me.

"I'll go with you," Rachel says, before turning to follow him.

"What's new with you guys," Sam asks us. We all shrug and give the same response.

"How's work?" I ask.

"Still good," he smiles. "I hear you're going to a Britney concert tonight? That's awesome!"

"Thanks to this one," Quinn smiles, nudging Brittany with her shoulder.

"That's awesome," he says. "I hear she's been killing it this tour."

I nod. "I can't wait."

"You guys are meeting up with you're family?" He asks Brittany.

"Mhm."

"Nice. How long they here for?"

"Only a few days," she says a little sad.

"I hear your little sister is a riot." Brittany laughs a little. "Rachel told me," he explains.

"She's funny," Quinn says.

"She's just like Brittany," I say. Sam looks at me with a smile. Then I quickly see his eyes widen.

"Holy shit, San," he says, reaching for my neck. "What happened?" As he gets closer he starts to giggle. "Oh my god," he says as my face heats up. "I'm sorry, I totally thought that you got in a fight or something."

My hand shoots up to cover my hickey. _Fuck._ I forgot to put concealer on today.

"Just a hickey," Quinn laughs.

"Whose mark is that?" Sam asks me. I try not to look at Brittany but I can see the deer in headlights look in her eyes.

"Some guy from the club," Quinn quickly answers for me. "I get a little drunk and I miss all the fun."

They both laugh and I try to join them.

"We better get going," I say to Brittany. She quickly nods and we both look a little too relieved.

"See you tonight," I smile at Quinn. We quickly turn around and begin walking down the street.

"Is that from me?" Brittany breaths as soon as we're far enough away.

"I'm not _that_ big of a slut," I joke.

"I didn't mean that," she laughs. "It's just, I didn't know I could _do_ that!" Her hand reaches up to my skin and her thumb slowly wipes over the spot. I cringe a little when I feel how tender it is.

"It's bruised," she says.

"What?" I say. "We have to cover it. I can't let your Dad see it."

Brittany smiles. "It's okay, San."

"No," I say. "I don't want him to see it."

"Here," she says, sitting me down on a bench on the corner of a park. She digs into her purse and pulls out a small flip open mirror.

"Woah," I breath. How did I miss this this morning? Her two teeth marks are now shown by tiny bruises. And the rest is still a dark raspberry red.

Brittany takes out a little pad with some powder on and starts to softly pat it on my neck. I wince a little on the third pat.

"Sorry," she says.

"It's okay," I smile. "It was worth it."

"Yeah?" she asks, wrinkling her nose a little.

"Mhm," I nod. Brittany puts another layer of the powder on before putting it back in her purse.

"I've never left a mark like that," she says, apologizing one more time.

"It's fine," I giggle. "I've never wanted someone to leave a mark like that. Until now," I admit.

"I was so nervous," Brittany confesses, looking down at our feet.

"Me too," I smile.

"Really? You didn't seem it."

"Neither did you," I say.

"Nervous is an understatement," she laughs. I join her.

"I had no clue what I was doing," Brittany says. We're both blushing so hard that I don't even care.

"Sure seemed like you did," I smirk. Brittany covers her face with both her hands. I laugh a little before reaching up to pull her hands down.

"I loved it," I tell her. She nods bashfully.

"Me too," she breaths.

"Come on," I say, pulling her up to her feet.

"Can I ask you something?" She says after about ten feet of silence. "If I wanted to tell my Dad about us, would you be okay?"

My heart stops. I don't know why, though. Brittany can tell whoever she wants. It's just another reminder, though, that I haven't told Quinn. And another reminder that I don't know exactly _what_ she'd tell her Dad.

"I mean, I don't think I should do it here. And now. With Troy right there. But if I wanted to, eventually," she says softer, "would that be okay?"

I smile up at her because I can sense how nervous she is.

"I'm okay with that," I tell her with a big gulp. "He's your Dad. I'm honored you even want to share me with him."

Brittany's arm slips through mine and she looks down at me with a smile.

"Of course I want to," she says. "There's something else, though, too," she breaths, even more nervous than before.

"What?" I ask, the nerves filling me as well.

"Brit!" A voice calls. My heart starts beating again when I see her Dad and Troy standing in front of the pizza place. "Over here!"

"I'll ask later," Brittany sighs.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I like Brittany," Kurt says for the tenth time as they begin to eat their salads.

"I like that San likes Brittany," Sam says. "She could have just as easily scared her away," he laughs. The group joins in.

"Sometimes I miss that side of her," Kurt adds.

"Oh, it's not gone," Quinn laughs. "She's just waiting for someone to bring it out of her."

"I, for one, just hope it's not me," Kurt jokes. They all laugh as they pass the bowl of salad around for a second round.

"Are you excited for the concert?" Sam asks.

"More than anything!" Rachel grins.

"You guys go out so much," Sam laughs. "Work sucks."

"It's summer," Rachel says. "Just trying to get in nights out while we can."

"Oh! Did you end up getting home okay, Quinn?" Kurt asks.

"Apparently," she laughs.

"You were having a good old time," he smiles.

"Yeah, sorry about that one."

"Don't apologize," Rachel says. "We've all been there."

"Looks like Santana had a good old time, too," he smirks. Quinn joins him. Kurt and Rachel eye each other, confused.

"What?" Kurt finally asks after their laughter subsides.

"Huh?" Sam asks.

"What do you mean Santana had a good time?"

"I'm talking about her vampire bite," he laughs.

"That's what I said, too!" Quinn chimes in with a giggle.

"What vampire bite?" Kurt asks.

"Her hickey," Sam says.

"Santana has a hickey?" Kurt's face scrunches up as he tries to remember. "What? From who?"

"Some guy at the club," Quinn explains.

"Santana wasn't with any guys?" Kurt says completely perplexed.

"What?" Quinn asks.

"I mean, I was with her all night. I don't remember seeing any guys."

"She said some guy gave her the hickey," Quinn says super slowly.

"It had to have been super quick or in the bathroom or something, because I'm pretty sure I was with her almost the entire night."

Quinn's eyes narrow.

"No," Rachel quickly speaks up. "I saw it. It was some guy," she stammers. "Outside of the bathroom. On the way back from it. They were together for like one song."

Kurt nods in recognition and Sam seems to be zoned out of the conversation, already onto his second plate of salad. But Quinn's eyes don't relax. They stay fixated on Rachel as she tries to absorb the conversation.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Thanks so much for all the messages! Thanks for reading! You guys are awesome. **

**Let me know what you think**

**xoxox**

**Tumblr- slaves4hemo**


	19. Moving Forward

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Brittany introduces her Dad and her sister to the girls_

_-Troy takes to Santana and asks to sleep over and wants Santana to help put her to sleep_

_-Brittany asks Santana to go out to lunch with her family the next day_

_-Brittany wants to tell her Dad about Santana but doesn't know what to tell him (no label)_

_-Santana confesses to Quinn that he Dad isn't talking to her since she performed_

_-Sam and Kurt are meeting Quinn and Rachel for lunch so Brittany and Santana plan to meet up there_

_-Sam spots the hickey on Santana's neck and Quinn quickly explains it's from some guy at the club_

_-Brittany and Santana quickly leave and the girls both admit how nervous they were during their sexy time_

_-During lunch with Sam, Quinn, Kurt, and Rachel, Sam lets it slip about Santana having a lot of fun at the club (referring to the hickey)_

_-Kurt says he didn't see Santana with any guy at the club and Rachel realizes how suspicious Q is getting and quickly speaks up, saying it happened really quickly outside of the bathroom._

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Come on," Brittany says, pulling me behind her by my hand. My heart starts beating a little faster. I know I've already met her Dad, but we didn't really get to talk. A bundle of nerves tighten in my stomach. I just want him to like me.

"Hi honey," he smiles, embracing Brittany as soon as she's within reach. "Hi Santana," he smiles as he steps forward to give me a short hug, too. "It's good to see you again." I don't know why his hug makes me feel so safe, but it does. There's something so fatherly about it. Something I know I've missed.

"You too, Mr. Pierce," I manage.

"I told you," he says softly, "Call me Rick." I nod in obedience.

"Seriously," Brittany whispers, "All of my friends call him Rick. It's okay."

"Hi Troy," I sing when I see her still griping onto her Dad's leg. She giggles nervously and gives me a tiny wave.

"Oh, somebody's playing shy today," Brittany's Dad laughs. I love when little kids do that. They're all shy at first, and a minute later they're the most open person in the world.

"Let's go grab our table," Brittany says.

"Have you ever eaten here?" Mr. Pierce asks me as we follow the waitress to our corner booth. I slide in first and Brittany follows me, and Troy slides in across from me.

"No," I shake my head.

"It's great. One of my favorites. Home made brick oven style pizza."

"Do you come to New York a lot?" I ask.

"I used to," he confesses. "I used to come here a lot with Brittany's Mother when we were young. She loved coming to watch Broadway shows so we'd save up our money for two months or so and make the trip here."

"You came here with Mommy?" Troy asks, her face lighting up.

"Mhm," he grins, looking down at the girl.

"What did she order?" She questions while she flips through the menu frantically.

"Right here," he flips the page and points to the bottom corner of the menu.

"That's what I was going to get!" Troy cheers. We all giggle a little at how cute it is. Troy didn't even read what the menu said before she decided on the thin crust original. It's pretty close to plain pizza though, just with some original spices, so she probably would have gotten something similar to it.

"Like mother like daughter," her Dad smiles, making Troy's face beam.

As the three of us flip through the menu, I can't help but think of how amazing a guy Rick seems to be. The fact that the would travel all the way to New York with his then girlfriend every two months to just give her a good time. And how nice he is with Troy and Brittany. It's just exactly how I think of Brittany.

The waitress walks over and brings us four waters.

"How are classes going?" Rick asks Brittany.

"Good," she smiles.

"Are you enjoying them?"

"Yeah," she admits. "I'm getting along with all of my teachers. The summer classes are a lot more relaxed. And less students. I like it."

I love that he asks if she's enjoying the classes. My parents would ask if I was passing them, or if I was having any success. Not if I was having fun.

"That's great," he smiles. "Are you taking classes Santana?"

"Not this summer," I tell him. "I'll start back up in the fall. I'm just working this summer."

"Oh! Where are you working?" He asks.

"Per Se," I shrug. "I'm just a hostess at this French restaurant."

"That's awesome," he smiles.

I suddenly feel dumb for being nervous to talk to him. It's the same way I felt with Brittany. If I think about it, I get nervous, but talking to her Dad is just like talking to her. They're both so easy to talk and I don't have to think about anything.

"Brit tells me you're an amazing performer."

I look over to Brittany as my face begins to get hot.

"She is," Brittany chimes in. "I wish you guys could have been there. She was incredible."

"I wish we were too," he says. "I love a good singer, right Troy?" he winks. Troy adamantly nods her head.

"So what time is the show?" he asks.

"8," Brittany smiles. "I'm so excited."

"Send Jeremy my best," he smiles. "I miss that kid."

"Me too," Brittany agrees.

"Me three," Troy chimes in.

"I can't believe he's out there touring," Brittany breaths.

"You could do it, too," her Dad says.

"Nah."

"Yes you could," I quickly agree.

"Maybe one day," she shrugs.

"How did you get so tan?" Troy suddenly asks me. We all start giggling as Troy keeps a poker face.

"I'm Latina," I say through a laugh.

"Not fair," she pouts. "I want to be tan."

"I'm not tan, either," Brittany adds, trying to make her feel better.

"But Santana is," she says again, not cheering up.

"I think you're beautiful, fair skin and all," I smile. The tiny girl's face lights up and she quiets down.

_Thank you_ Brittany's Dad mouths to me. I nod as Brittany's hand lands on my thigh. I shudder a little, realizing for the first time in awhile how much I crave her touch.

The waitress comes over to take our order and Brittany and I decide to split the original thin crust, too, just like Brittany's Dad and Troy. It makes me feel really special, sharing their Mother's favorite plate with them.

"I have to pee," Troy says, jumping over her Dad's lap. Rick looks to Brittany with a forgiving look and Brittany quickly hops to her feet. _Sorry_ she mouths as she follows behind her sister to the bathroom. I don't know why I didn't think about following either of them, but I know it would have been rude to leave her Dad alone.

The table gets kind of quiet for a minute as Rick takes a long sip of water. I do the same, trying to avoid any awkwardness. The second he puts the glass down, he takes a big gulp, the way Brittany often does, and looks up at me.

"Santana, I just wanted to thank you," he says in a super soft voice. I look up at him a little perplexed, but he quickly continues. "Brittany told me," he says softer and my stomach plummets. What did she tell him? But then he continues. "She told me what you did for her, on the anniversary." I can hear the pain in his voice as he says "the anniversary". "I know you hadn't known her long, and it just means a lot that someone's out here taking care of her. Besides Jeremy, I don't think she's ever had a friend that cared enough. I wished I was with her that day. And I couldn't be. I was so worried about her. But the next day she called me to tell me she didn't feel alone. And a new friend helped her through the night. Meeting the three of you girls, it just made me feel a lot better. Especially you," he smiles, and I can't help but smile back. "It really means a lot, knowing she's in good hands."

It sends a chill down my spine, thinking about how I made her feel less alone.

I smile back at him, trying to think of the right thing to say.

"She's an amazing girl," I breath. He nods in agreement. Before I can say anything else, Troy runs over and slides in next to me. She immediately starts giggling.

"Hey," Brittany pouts. "That's my seat!"

Troy quickly latches onto my arm and pulls herself closer to me.

"Not anymore!" She grins. Brittany looks up to me for help but I just shrug with a smile.

"Fine," Brittany feigns a pout as her Dad stands up to let her slide in across from me.

The rest of lunch passes quickly. We eat some of the most delicious pizza I've ever had in my life, Troy entertains us with some silly stories, and Brittany and I play footsie under the table. When it's time to go, we realize there's a good chance this will be my last time seeing her family before they leave. They're leaving tomorrow and if I feel like I should give Brittany some alone time with them before they leave.

Brittany's Dad hugs me first, a little longer than the first time and whispers "thank you" in my ear once again.

"No, thank you," I smile back. I wasn't sure if he'd understand, but his smile seems to show that he does.

"It was a pleasure meeting you," he says.

"You too, Rick," I smile. He laughs a little at my saying his name.

"No!" Troy shouts in the middle of the sidewalk.

"You'll see her again," Brittany coos as she squats down to reach Troy's level. I quickly squat down beside Brittany and smile softly at the girl.

"You'll visit again," I smile.

"Maybe we'll come visit you," Brittany grins, almost looking at me for confirmation.

"Yeah," I grin as my heart swells in my chest. "We'll see each other. Plus, I can Skype with Brittany and you!" Troy seems to lighten up a bit as she begins nodding at me. I open my arms and she immediately flies in for a hug. I giggle. No little kid has ever liked me this much. It's extra sweet because it's Brittany's little sister.

"Bye guys," Brittany smiles as we stand and begin to walk to the other way. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye!" I shout out.

"Bye girls," her Dad smiles. "Have fun tonight!"

"Bye Santana!" Troy shouts as her voice begins to fade away. I turn back one last time to wave.

"They loved you," Brittany sighs.

"They're amazing," I tell her. She nods and we continue walking towards our apartments.

"Thank you for coming."

"Thanks for letting me meet them."

I know it's crazy, but meeting Brittany's family has somehow made me like her even more. Knowing where she came from, and the people who helped her grow makes me like her even more.

"Can I ask you something?" she breaths as we turn the corner.

"You don't have to ask that," I laugh.

"I know," she smiles. "Sorry." We walk a few more steps in silence, me looking up at her, as she figures out what to say.

"I'm sorry," she breaths again. "I just have a lot I've been thinking about. I just don't know where to start." I stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

"Remember how I asked if I could tell my Dad about us?" I nod. "Can we go somewhere to talk?" she finally sighs. I look around the crowded city, unsure of where to go. If we go to either of our apartments, I'm sure Quinn or Rachel will be there.

"Sure," I say. I'm starting to get a little nervous, though I'm not sure why. Brittany starts walking a little faster and I pick up my pace to keep up. I see her head turning from side to side as she begins to search for a place to talk. We walk an entire block before Brittany's face lights up.

"Oh! I know!" she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward. We aren't exactly holding hands, but it's close enough. I bite down on my lip to keep my face from looking totally silly.

"Where are we going?" I ask after we navigate through another block.

"You'll see," she says, smile not faltering. As soon as we make a left turn, I know where we are and my teeth soften against my lip, allowing my smile to grow. We walk towards the large doors and see only a few students in the lobby. We look around and Brittany quickly tugs on my hand and I begin following her again. She slowly opens the doors to the auditorium and peaks her head in.

"Yes," I hear her breath as she takes a step into the empty auditorium.

"Are we allowed in here?" I breath.

"Why not?" she shrugs, ignoring me and walking down the isle. She turns around and sees me standing in the doorway. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," I quickly shake my head and follow her down the stairs. She walks down to the fifth row or so and turns left, walking through the row of chairs. I begin to follow her. She sits down in a chair and quickly shakes her head, switching to the chair next to her. I stare at her, perplexed for a moment, before she says anything.

"This is where I sat," she says, staring straight at the spot I stood on stage. "Right here." I walk over and sit down in the seat next to her. We sit there in the quiet, absorbing everything. Something about this moment makes me want to cry. Happy tears, not sad ones. I can't believe I ever got on that stage and sang to Brittany. I can't believe I put myself out there. I can't believe I sang again. I can't believe Brittany. I can't believe this is real.

"You looked so beautiful up there," Brittany breaths, still not looking at me. My heart starts beating a little faster.

"I want to tell my Dad about you," she says again. I nod, because she's said this before. She finally turns to look at me. Her face is soft and vulnerable.

"I want to tell him how you make me feel. I really _really _like you. I just don't know what to tell him," she breaths. I nod, completely understanding.

When I thought about telling Quinn, I just didn't know what to tell her. What do I say? I like Brittany and we kiss and stuff sometimes?

"Santana, I'm so into you, and I love spending time with you. I want to move forward. I just- I don't know where forward is." My mouth starts to get dry and I feel my nerves settling in.

"I do too," I breath. "And neither do I."

"This is so new to me," she says.

"I know," I say. "I've never been with a girl either."

"No," she shakes her head. "This feeling. It's so new to me." Her eyes are staring so far into mine its makes me feel weak.

"Me too," I smile, happy that this isn't about being gay.

"So if I want to tell my Dad," she breaths again, "what should I say?"

I suddenly realize this doesn't have as much to do with her Dad as I thought it did.

"What do you want to say?" I ask her, just as slowly.

"Could I-" she starts, swallowing her nerves and starting again. "Could I, maybe, call you my girlfriend?" She whispers the word. I shiver as she asks, but a warm heat runs through my body.

"You want that?" I ask, almost hopefully. Brittany's eyes look bluer than I ever remember them looking.

"Yeah," she nods softly. "Do you?"'

Not being able to control myself anymore, I close the distance between our lips and take her cheeks into my hands. Brittany lets out a hum against my mouth and I quickly deepen the kiss. Her hand lands on my neck and the lightness in my body intensifies. As soon as we start to kiss faster, Brittany quickly slows us down, holding my lips in hers a little longer. She softly pulls away after giving me one last kiss.

"So that's a yes?" She asks quietly. I laugh, leaning in to kiss her again. In between our kisses I mutter "yes" a few times.

I don't know how long we kiss for, but it's long enough for both of us to feel a little out of breath by the end. When I pull away far enough to see her face, I notice how red Brittany's cheeks are.

"I have a girlfriend," I sigh.

"I have a girlfriend," she repeats in a similar tone. We both smile insanely. "I wanted to ask you in a cute way," Brittany sighs. "I had a date planned and everything. But I couldn't wait any longer. I'm sorry," she breaths.

"It's perfect," I tell her. "You could have asked me on the subway and I would have said yes." She laughs a little.

"Plus, I think this is pretty damn cute. This is where I sang to you. You were right there. I put myself out there then, and you just put yourself out there here."

Brittany smiles and leans in to give me another kiss.

"You're so smart," she says. "And you always make me feel better."

"That's why I'm your girlfriend," I say, way to happy to stop saying the word. _Girlfriend. _

"But I'll still take you up on that date," I joke.

"Of course," she smiles.

We sit there, Brittany's hand in mine, silently enjoying the moment.

"So now what?" She finally says. "I mean, with Quinn and the guys. I'm not putting pressure on you," she quickly says. "I'm okay with anything. But do you want to tell them?"

I sigh, realizing how right Brittany is.

"I have to tell her." Brittany nods, tightening her grip on my hand.

"I just, maybe not tonight. She's gonna need time to digest it. I can talk to her tomorrow. When you're saying goodbye to your family." Brittany nods again with a smile. Suddenly, her smile grows even wider than before.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," she laughs. I look up at her, waiting for her to fill me in. "It's just, I can't wait for Jeremy to hear I got a _girlfriend_!"

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

As soon as I finish applying my mascara, I take a look at myself in the mirror. I decided on a short tight red dress with black heels. I straightened my hair, too. I smile as I turn to exit the bathroom.

"Shit," I jump, my heart flying through my chest. Quinn's standing there against the open doorway. "Jesus, Quinn. You scared the shit out of me."

Quinn doesn't smile, though. She keeps a straight face as she stares at me, arms crossed across her chest.

"You look cute," I say confused, trying to lighten her mood. She's wearing a black dress with a long sleeved white, see-through wholey shirt over top. Her expression doesn't change.

"Who put a stick up your ass?" I ask.

"Who put that hickey on your neck?" She retorts with a sharper tone. I feel like she punched me in the stomach. I try to regain my air and keep my face from going completely white.

"Some guy from the club," I finally say cooly. "I don't know his name."

"Really?" she asks, clearly mocking me. "Kurt said he didn't see you with anyone all night. And then Rachel made up some bullshit story to cover for you," she says. I feel my throat tightening.

"So you wanna tell me whose been sucking on your neck?" she demands.

"I told you," I say, not giving up my story. "Just some guy."

"I thought we stopped this whole lying to each other bullshit in high school," she rolls her eyes.

I suddenly open my mouth to explain everything. It's about to all fall out when her words stop me.

"I just don't get why you think you have to hide a guy from me."

Everything in me stops. I freeze. I thought Quinn knew. I thought she figured it out. And she's halfway there, but she's missing the biggest part of it. Brittany.

I wish she had figured it out. Telling her would only be that much easier.

Quinn stares at me, while I try to reboot myself, and shakes her head as she starts to walk out of the bathroom.

I quickly grab her wrist.

"Q, wait," I tell her. She turns to me, pulling her arm back into her body. Her voice sounded hurt, and I don't blame her.

"I- I do have to tell you something. It's not what you think, though." She looks at me, her face unchanging. "Tonights about Brittany, though," I tell her. "Can we just go and have a good time. And tomorrow morning, I'll tell you everything."

She stares at me for awhile.

"Please, we can't ruin Brittany's night. Let's just go and have fun. Enjoy Britney and have fun. Tomorrow you can be pissed at me. But it's not what you think, I _promise_."

Quinn keeps her ice cold expression on my soft one for awhile. After almost a minute, she finally sighs and her body relaxes.

"Fine," she rolls her eyes. "Let's go."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I'm so excited!" Rachel squeals as the lights begin to dim.

"Me too!" Brittany begins to jump.

On the way over here, I filled Rachel in a little about what Quinn had said while Quinn and Brittany listed their favorite Britney songs. After congratulating me on my _girlfriend_ about ten times, Rachel finally calmed down enough to listen. She's serving as a buffer right now, sitting between Quinn and I. To make it even safer, I put Brittany in between me and Rachel. Either way, once we got here, Quinn seemed to forget about everything.

Some music starts blasting. I immediately recognize it as "Hold It Against Me."

"Yes!" I squeal. It's one of my favorites.

A group of about ten dancers appear on stage and Brittany begins screaming.

"Jeremy! Jeremy!" She jumps, pointing towards the boy on stage. We're all smiling like idiots as they begin dancing. A three minute intro plays before Britney finally steps out onto stage, looking hot as ever.

"Damn!" Rachel shouts.

"She's fucking hot," I breath.

"Hey," Brittany slaps me with a small smirk.

"Not as hot as my _girlfriend_," I whisper into her ear. We both giggle a little and I let my hand rest on the small of her back. The song picks up and the four of us are jamming out. Everyone around us is totally smashed and dressed up as either a tranny or a slut. It's so fun. By the time "Piece Of Me" starts playing, we're all dancing like we're back in the club, only this time there's live music. My hands are laced in Brittany's as we grind our stomach against each other, looking up at the stage. At one point, Jeremy grinds directly up against Brittany and we all squeal.

"Lucky skank!" Brittany squeals.

"Britney's not a skank!" Rachel says.

"I was talking about Jeremy," she laughs.

After a few songs, "Gimme More," comes on and Brittany squeals in my ear. Some sexy switch must flip inside of her because she starts rocking up and down my body. I see Rachel eye us and she tries to keep her smirk under control, but I'm too turned on to stop Brittany. When she stands back up, she nuzzles her head into the crease of my neck. Her knee slips in between my thighs and her tight black dress slides up her a little. I quickly shoot my hand to her ass and help her pull it down a little, but I don't take my hand away once I do. I feel Brittany's lips lightly press against my collarbone. My heart jumps and she does it again. I toss my head back, revealing more skin to her and she takes me up on the offer. I feel her lips trickle a little further up my neck and eventually up to my jaw line.

"Santana?" A hear a voice from behind me. I quickly snap away from Brittany and straighten up. At the same time, Rachel and Quinn look over to me and I'm so grateful Quinn missed all of that.

"Santana!" the voice calls again. I turn my body around and look through the crowd.

My eyes search through the crowd until they finally lock on the small, tan girl. She pushes her dark curls out of her face, revealing her brown eyes gazing right on me and Brittany.

"_Fuck_," I breath when I see her wearing that dumb smirk. I quickly turn to face Quinn who's leaning forward to see what I'm looking at.

"Gabriella," I whisper shout to Quinn. Her eyes widen and her ghostlike expression mirrors mine.

"Santana! It's me, Gaby!"

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hi guys! I hope you liked it! I just wanted to thank you again for reading. School starts next week so I have a lot of work to do before then so I may not be able to update for a week. After I settle into school I'll get back in a rhythm, but expect updates to be more around once a week. Sorry :( **

**Anyway, let me know what you think! **

**Xoxo**

**Tumblr- slaves4hemo **


	20. Tears

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana has a successful lunch with Brittany and her family_

_-Brittany wants to asks Santana something important but needs to find a private place to talk about it so she takes her to the auditorium on the way home_

_-The girls talk about moving forward and Brittany asks if she can call Santana her girlfriend and she says yes!_

_-Santana decides she has to tell Quinn about them but she wants to wait until after the Britney concert_

_-When Santana is back home, Quinn corners her about her hickey again after discovering that Kurt did not see Brittany with a guy. Quinn thinks Santana is hiding a guy from her and is sick of all the lying and S promises to explain everything to Q tomorrow _

_-The girls go to the concert and are having a great time! Towards the end, Brittany and Santana start to get a little carried away with dancing and Brittany starts to kiss Santana's neck when someone calls Santana's name_

_-Santana's shocked and immediately turns to Quinn to tell her it's Gabriella_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"It's me, Gaby!" She says again when she gets closer. Brittany and Rachel turn to her with a confused expression, but Quinn's wearing the same alarmed look as I am. As she gets within reach she opens her arms and tries to wrap me in them. I let her arms close around my back but I can't get myself to hug her back. I think I'm too shocked.

"What are you doing here?" She says, smile not fading.

"My friend had tickets," I explain flatly. "She knows a dancer," I try to brag, but I don't know if my voice is as strong as I intended.

Gabriella's eyes examine Rachel and then examine Brittany a little longer. Then she see's Quinn.

"Oh my gosh!" She squeals. "Quinn Fabray, I haven't seen you since you were-" She pauses as her eyes flicker down to Quinn's now flat stomach. "Yeah," she laughs.

"Hello," Quinn sighs as she rolls her eyes.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your _friends?_" She asks as she looks at Brittany.

"This is Rachel and this is Brittany," I breath. "This is Gabriella."

"Gaby," she rolls her eyes at me. "My friends call me Gaby."

"Again," I mutter, "This is Gabriella."

"Oh San," she giggles. "Does you _Daddy_ know you're here?" Her tone is suddenly sharp and quickly makes me uneasy.

"I don't need to tell my Dad when I decide to go to a concert."

"No?" she asks. Her eyes flicker over to Brittany once again, whose staring quizzically at the girl who barely reaches her shoulders .

"Did you tell your Mother?" I ask, trying to prove a point.

"No, no," she shrugs. But her eyes return to Brittany. My heart starts beating a little faster and I can feel the jumpy feeling growing in my stomach.

"Has your Dad met... Brittany, was it?" She asks. Brittany nods, confirming her name.

"Actually, my Dad hasn't been talking to me so I didn't feel the need to introduce him to any of my friends," I bite. Gabriella's face eases a little. Brittany's hand lands lightly on my arm and I turn to see her startled expression. I shake my head and give her a look to tell her I'll explain later and she quickly nods. I think everyone can sense the tension so they all remain quiet.

"Nice outfit," I smirk, looking at her tranny-esque fishnet stockings barely covered by small black shorts and her tight black bra, exposing her not completely toned stomach. Suddenly her cheeks darken a little, and it almost looks like she suddenly feels less powerful. Like whatever she could have over me isn't as strong now.

"How's Sam?" She asks. It's like we're in a battle.

"Broke up with him two years ago," I shoot back. "I'm sorry, do you want something?" I narrow my eyes. "I'm trying to enjoy this concert with my friends."

"Your _friends?_" she shoots back.

"Yeah, my _friends_."

"I'm sorry," she shakes her head. "I just wanted to come say hi to my cousin that I haven't seen in almost _two_ years," she widens her eyes. "We have to catch up!" she says. I'm about to bite back 'no fucking way' when I see a small smirk form on her lips.

"Or I could tell your Dad I ran into you," she smiles. It's not a real smile, though. It's malicious. I try my best to keep my composure.

By the way Gabriella's been eyeing Brittany, I know she has something on me. I don't think she fully gets it, but I know she'd tell my Dad she saw us messing around or something. And I know my Dad would freak the fuck out. And if anyone's telling my Dad, it's gonna be me, not my bitchass cousin.

"We can catch up," I sigh, confused as to what she _really_ wants from me. She pulls her phone out of her bra and hands it to me. I quickly type in my number and hand it back to her. She slips her phone back in her bra and gives an air kiss with a loud "mwah" before she turns away and struts back through the open aisle.

"What the hell was that?" Rachel shouts over booming base.

"Dumbass cousin," I mutter as I roll my eyes. Rachel shoots me a concerned look, clearly picking up on the vibe Gabriella was trying to send me. Quinn leans across Rachel and whispers into my ear.

"What does she have over you?" Quinn leans back with a confused expression. She knows I would normally never agree to "catching up" with that bitch.

"I'll explain later," I lean into Quinn. She nods slowly and turns back to the stage. I turn forward, trying to enjoy the end of the show.

"San," Brittany's hand lands on my arm. "You're Dad's not talking to you?" she whispers. It looks like her heart's broken already. I shrug, trying to make it not such a big deal. "Because of..." she trails off.

"Because of my performance," I say against her ear. She looks up at me like she might cry.

"I'm so sorry," she stammers. "I-I didn't mean to make you-"

"Brit," I take her hands in mine. "No. You didn't _make_ me do anything I didn't want to do. You made me do something I love. He would do this regardless the next time I performed."

"I'm so sorry," she says again.

I shake my head. "Please," I breath.

"That was your cousin?" She asks. Her face is soft. Vulnerable, almost. I nod.

"I'll explain it all tomorrow, okay? Let's just have fun now," I say softer. Brittany stares at me a moment longer before agreeing.

We turn back to the stage and "Till The World Ends" starts playing. It's the last song and although I should be upset, I'm almost a little relieved. I hadn't realized how fast my heart was beating until now. Seeing Gabriella here is making me physically ill. I can't help but think of my Dad.

I see Brittany checking my expression out of the corner of my eye and I turn to her with a soft smile.

"I love this song," I tell her. She smiles and tightens her arm around mine.

"Me too."

We dance the rest of the song, but I can tell none of the girls are as into it as before. It's almost like they're walking on eggshells, and the eggshells are my emotions.

The song ends and everyone erupts as the lights shut out and Britney disappears. It takes a few minutes for everyone to calm down and start to leave, but eventually the stadium starts to clear out. Brittany hands each of us a backstage pass. When I reach out to grab mine she pulls it just out of reach to get my attention.

"If you want to go home, I understand," she whispers.

"What? No," I shake my head. "I'll come with you guys. I'll see Jeremy. I know you're excited."

"You don't have to stay long," she says after she flashes me a big smile. "I'm sure Quinn will go home with you. I'll have Rachel." I nod, understanding where she's coming from. But I know how excited she was to see Jeremy, and I don't want her worrying about me when she sees him.

The four of us file back through this door behind the stage and, after showing a security guard our passes, walk through curtains that lead to an open lounge. There's about twenty or thirty other fans and a few dancers are already out here mingling. Two guys walk through the doors and I recognize the taller one immediately.

"Jeremy!" Brittany squeals as she sprints towards him. She jumps into his arms and they begin twirling around in circles, giggling like children. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Only I wish I was the one holding her. But I'm also grateful we weren't the ones separated for a long period of time. I don't know if I could manage being away from Brittany as long as he has. Not now that I finally have her. And not gonna lie, I'm grateful he's gay. When he puts her down they start talking really fast and laughing and I know Brittany's telling him how great of a job he did.

"They're so cute," Rachel says dreamily.

"Hey, you okay?" Q whispers.

"Huh?" I say, breaking my stare from Brittany.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh- yeah," I sigh.

"If you wanna head out," Quinn says softly, "I'll go with you. It's fine," she shrugs. I nod.

"Maybe in a little," I agree, realizing how mentally worn out I'm beginning to feel. I turn back around and see Brittany and Jeremy walking towards us. Rachel embraces him first and she gushes over how incredible he was. I forgot she knew him from the summer program, too, and through Brittany, so they seem more natural than I expected.

"You remember Santana and Quinn," Brittany smiles, pointing to us.

"Of course!" He smiles, hugging us both.

"You were amazing," I tell him.

"Oh, thank you," he says bashfully. Quinn agrees and he blushes again.

"And thanks for hooking us up," I smile. "This was awesome."

"Anytime!" he smiles. "Thanks for taking care of my girl here," he says as he wraps his arm around Brittany. She cuddles her head into his chest.

"Britney should be out any minute, if you want to meet her. I can introduce you quickly."

"Is she cool?" Quinn asks.

"She's so sweet," he smiles. "And surprisinglynormal."

"Ah!" Rachel squeals as Britney steps through the curtain. Everyone in the room begins to clap.

"She's stunning," Rachel breaths.

"I know," he agrees. Brittany greets a few people as we all stand there staring at her. I see Brittany whispering a few things to Jeremy and I feel my face start to heat up. He just nods, though, and my temperature cools.

After a minute or two, Britney makes her way over to us and Jeremy waves her over. She struts over, smiling big and says "Hi!"

"These are some of my friends," Jeremy starts. "This is Brittany, she dances with me." Britney reaches out and shakes her hand.

"You're incredible," Brittany swoons. I giggle at her awed expression.

"Oh thank you. Nice to meet you, Brittany!" She says with a wink. She also has a stronger accent than I had imagined.

"This is Rachel."

"You are my idol," Rachel stammers as she takes her hand. Britney giggles with a soft "Thank you."

"This is Quinn," he says. They shake hands as Quinn becomes quiet. "And this is Santana. They're all performers."

"Oh yeah?" Britney smiles. Quinn and I nod hesitantly.

"You're all beautiful," she smiles, looking at the four of us. In unison, we all melt. Jeremy giggles.

"You just made their lives." She smiles.

"Y'all want a photo?"

"Yes, please," Rachel smiles. Rachel and Brittany each put their arm around Britney as I slide into Brittany and Quinn slides into Rachel. Jeremy snaps a photo with Brittany's cell and Britney smiles at all of us.

"Thank you!" We all say.

"No problem! It was nice meeting y'all."

"You too," we all swoon.

"Wow she's cool," I smile. Brittany elbows me a little and I laugh. "Not as cool as you," I whisper for only her.

"Yeah she is," Rachel agrees.

"So what big news did you have to tell me?" Jeremy turns to Brittany. Brittany freezes and I see her eyes flicker to me. A panicky look must take over my face because Quinn's arm lands on mine.

"You wanna head out?" I look at everyone, who I realize are all staring at me, and I nod.

"Yeah," I say. "I think, I think I should." I see Rachel nod, almost in agreement. She quickly comes over to give me a hug.

"I'll take care of your girl," she whispers in my ear and I can hear her smiling.

"Thanks," I say sarcastically.

"Bye Jeremy," I say, offering him another hug. "Thanks again. You were amazing and this was awesome."

"Of course!" he says.

"Hopefully we can see you again soon. I'm sorry we have to leave."

"Hey, no worries. I'll see you all soon. Thanks again for looking out my Brit," he says. Quinn leans in to give him a hug as I turn to Brittany.

"I'm really sorry," I breath as I pull her into a hug.

"No, I'm sorry. I wish I could be there for you right now."

"No, enjoy this. You deserve it. I wish I wasn't being such a downer. I just- I need to go home."

"I get it," she says as we pull away.

"Have fun," I smile. She nods.

"I'll call you tomorrow to check on you. If you're up to it, I'm here to talk. Whenever." An immediate smile floods my lips. Most of my friends aren't like that. Actually, none of them really. It's always been a _talk now_ type thing. No one gives me space or lets me do things on my time. It's just really nice.

"Thanks," I smile as Quinn loops her arm in mine and we turn to walk home.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"What's your news?" Jeremy repeats. Brittany takes a deep breath with a smile.

"Are you telling him?" Rachel whispers to her. But she doesn't whisper very softly because Jeremy hears her perfectly clear.

"Telling me _what?_" he cries. He's practically begging Brittany at this point.

"I have to tell you something you're not going to believe," she starts. "I mean _really_ not going to believe. And maybe you should sit down," she says.

"Brit," Jeremy laughs. "Just tell me." Rachel's grinning from ear to ear as Jeremy looks expectantly between the two girls.

"I kind of-" Brittany trails off before she breaks into a big smile. "I kind of have a _girlfriend_."

Jeremy's face goes from smiling to flat out shock in less than a second. His face is frozen in disbelief.

"A _girlfriend?_" He finally repeats. "Like a _gay_ girlfriend?"

Brittany nods her head hesitantly, smile not fading.

"A gay girlfriend," Brittany confirms. Jeremy lets out a breathy laugh.

"What?" Jeremy smiles, clearly not believing it. He starts shaking his head back and forth. "No."

"Yes," Brittany says, more serious this time.

"Wait, hold up. Who? When? What?" He repeats.

"Santana," Brittany breaths.

"Santana?! She's gay? You're gay?"

"Yes. I- I don't know. I mean, for her, yes. I don't-"

"It's okay," Jeremy shakes his head. He quickly brings her into a hug as he keeps laughing. "Just hold up. That's awesome, Brit," he smiles. "What?" He laughs again. "How long?"

"Well, officially today."

"Today!" He laughs. It's clear he's trying his best to grasp this all. He pulls Brittany into another hug who is trying her best to stop giggling.

"Have you always liked girls?" He jokes.

Brittany shakes her head.

"Not like _this_."

"Oh my gosh," Jeremy breaths. He looks to Rachel who hasn't stopped smiling once yet. "Look at her face," he says in disbelief. "I leave for one fucking month and you fall in love. With a _girl!_" Brittany blushes as she looks to the ground.

"What the hell," he says. "You didn't deny it! You love her?!"

"What?" Brittany stammers. "No, I didn't say that. I- I don't- I-"

"I'm messing," he jokes as he grabs her shoulders strongly in his hands. "I just- it's a lot to take in."

"I know," she shrugs.

"You're awesome," Jeremy laughs. "I've always loved this about her," he says to Rachel. "She's makes things so simple."

"No, everyone else just makes everything so complicated."

"That too," he laughs. "I love you, Brit," he says, pulling her into a hug.

"You, too," she smiles into him.

"Okay, seriously," he laughs. "I want the details. How the hell did this happen?"

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I don't understand what she's doing here," Quinn says as we step out of the cab. We were pretty silent the entire drive back except for the occasional comment about how great Britney was.

"I have no clue. Last I heard she wasn't going to college." My voice is emotionless. I don't think I can figure out exactly how I'm feeling.

"How'd she end up here?"

"I don't know," I say with a little more edge than I meant to. Quinn's eyes widen and she falls silent again. We make it all the way up our stairs before we say anything else.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Quinn says in a softer voice. I shrug my shoulders as I struggle to open the door with my key. After my third attempt, Quinn gently takes the key from my hand and swiftly unlocks our door. I sigh as I walk through the doorway.

"Thanks," I breath.

"San," Quinn starts off, gentler than before. I throw my purse on the small coffee table and turn to face her. "What does she have over you?"

Her words chill my spine. It's all I kept thinking tonight. I'm not even sure _exactly _what she has over me, but I know she saw more than she should have. And I know she wants something. I just don't know what.

"I don't know," I shrug again, turning towards my room.

"San, talk to me," Quinn says weaker.

"I'm sorry," I breath. "I'm just really tired." I take a few steps further when Quinn's voice stops me. She's almost begging.

"Santana, what's going on?"

"Can we just talk about it tomorrow? I'm gonna pass out."

"No," Quinn's suddenly snaps. My body jolts as I look up at her hard face. "No, not tomorrow, Santana." Her voice is stern and it makes me freeze. I haven't heard her use this tone since high school. "Tomorrow I'll ask you again and you'll keep saying tomorrow. Tomorrow. No not fucking tomorrow. Tonight. Right now. What the fuck is going on? Talk."

I don't say anything. I look at the blonde whose face is completely flushed and listen to her breath heavily. I can feel my pulse in my temples. We're in a stare off. The tension in the air is so thick. An entire minute passes.

"I-I'm sorry," Quinn finally sighs, sitting down on the couch. "I didn't mean- you should get some rest." Her head collapses into her hands. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Quinn was in pain. After another minute, I decide to take the seat across from Q on the smaller couch.

"No," I finally breath, forcing Quinn's head to practically jump out of her hands. "Y-you're right. I wouldn't talk about it." I keep my voice under control and I start to see Quinn calm down.

"What's going on?" She finally asks. I roll my eyes and scoff at myself, unsure of where to start. "Why is Gabriella here?"

"I honestly don't know that," I tell her. Quinn must sense my earnest tone because she nods.

"Then why did you agree to catch up with her?" I take a deep breath, getting ready to explain a lot.

"I-It's complicated-" I start to say. Quinn's expression immediately hardens and she rolls her eyes. She hops to her feet and starts to walk away.

"I'm done trying," she bites.

"No! Quinn! I'm going to tell you!" I call out. "I just needed you to know I can't start with that. I have other stuff I have to tell you first." She stops walking but she doesn't turn back around. "Please," I say softer. She huffs as sits back down on the couch.

"I'm not hiding a guy from you," I say. Quinn's face doesn't change. "I am hiding something from you," I say.

"Duh," she says.

"Q," I sigh. She softens a little. "I am hiding _someone_ from you." Her eyebrows furrow together. I can tell she doesn't get what I mean.

"I've also been hiding something else. From you. And everyone else." I feel my throat starting to close up. I've never had to tell anyone I care about this before. Rachel guessed, and with Brittany it was different. And easy. This is anything but. "Gabriella saw something tonight. Something she shouldn't have. Not yet, at least. I mean, something she could hold over me with my Dad."

"What, you at a Britney concert? She was there, too."

"No," I say. "Just listen."

"I am!" She bites. "You're not making any fucking sense."

"Ugh!" I let out a frustrated grunt. "Look," I say, "Gabriella saw me messing around with Brittany. She could construes it anyway she wants and I know she could do some serious damage." It's hard for me too look up at her.

"So what? I was messing around with Rachel." I scoff because if Quinn only knew what she was saying.

"No!" I say. "You don't get it! I _like _her!"

"I like her, too."

"Listen to me!" I finally snap. "I like Brittany. _Really_ like her. And she likes me." Quinn's eyes narrow but I can tell she still isn't fully wrapping her head around it. Or maybe she just doesn't want to.

"The hickey wasn't from some guy," I sigh. "It was from Brittany."

"What?" she says, finally getting it.

"Brittany gave me the hickey!" I say again, louder and slower.

"Like at the club?"

"No," I confess. "That night." Quinn's face stays still. "In my room," I say, trying to eliminate any further questions. Sometimes Quinn's one of the hardest people to read. My heart is pounding so hard and I honestly feel like I could cry if anyone did so much as to touch me.

"So you- you messed around with her?" She asks flatly.

"Yeah. Well no, it was more than that," I shake my head. "It meant more," I try to explain. It's strange how hard it is for me to get my words out.

"You-you like her?" I nod, glad Quinn's starting to catch on. Quinn starts nodding. Slow at first, but then faster. She closes her eyes and keeps nodding. She does it for quite some time.

"Say something," I finally plead.

Quinn swallows hard. "So you like her."

"I like her," I confirm. "And I like girls," I say. The second I say it, everything becomes real. I can see it in Quinn's face, too. She looks up at me, her lips slightly parted. Everything's so quiet. All I can hear is my heart pounding in my ears.

"How long have you known?" Quinn asks after an extremely long pause.

"Wha-?" I start to say, not expecting that to be her first question. "Awhile," I admit.

"How long is awhile?"

"Since high school." Her eyes widen. "I mean, I didn't really know, I just- I kind of had a feeling. I wasn't sure though. And Rachel-"

"Rachel knows?" Quinn snaps.

"She figured it out!" I say defensively. "Pretty much before I did. But I hadn't met anyone I liked to confirm it. Not until Brittany." I'm talking really fast now. I think I'm just trying to get it all out. "I was never sure, so I never told anyone. But with Brittany, it all happened so fast and before I knew it I went from totally unsure to having a girlfriend in less than a month-"

"_Girlfriend_?" Quinn interrupts me with her dry tone.

"I told you we liked each other-"

"That doesn't mean you're automatically dating!" Quinn starts yelling. "You got a girlfriend and you didn't think to tell me? You're best friend?"

"It just happened today!" I scream, matching Quinn's level of volume.

"You don't just become someone's girlfriend in a fucking _day, _Santana. Stuff has to happen before it!"

"I didn't know what to say!" I start to get defensive. "I wasn't even sure it was real until today!" I'm about to keep shouting until I see Quinn's eyes. "W-wait," I say softer. "Are you- are you crying?"

Quinn's hands shoot up to her eyes as she wipes her now evident tears and makes a break for her room.

"Q! Wait!" I call. "Stop!" I chase after her. "Look- I didn't mean to hurt you!" She stops right before her door and twists around, making me stop running about five feet behind her. The dampness of her cheeks and redness of her eyes sucks the air right out of me.

"You didn't mean to hurt me?" She says with a strained voice. "So you just intentionally left out one of the most important details of your life-"

"Being gay is not the most important thing about me," I growl.

"No, but Brittany is right now, isn't she," Quinn says softer, showing she understands a little more than I might have thought. Her edge is still there, though. I nod. Quinn turns again for her door, but not before wiping another tear away.

"Q, wait," I say again. Her hand lands on her doorknob as I take another step forward. She snaps around and I stop again.

"Do you honestly think I would care?" She says barely above a whisper. Her voice cracks on the word 'care'. "That you're gay? Do you think that would change anything?"

I stare at her, completely befuddled.

"It wouldn't," she snaps as she quickly turns into her room and slams the door behind her. The wall shakes with her slam. I take a step forward to try to turn her handle, but I know I'm too late. She locked it. I quickly press my ear to the door and hear a muffled cry, presumably into her pillow.

"Quinn!" I call, leaving my against the wood. "Please come out," I say. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," I say again, water forming behind my eyes. "Q," I say, almost defeated.

"Leave me alone!" She squeaks out. Her tears catalyze mine and soon my cheeks are just as wet as hers.

"Q," I say, more to myself. I let my weight fall against her door as the tears stream down my face. I don't know why I didn't tell her sooner, but I didn't mean to hurt her like this. Ever. I'd never mean to do this.

I don't know how long I lean there crying, but it's long enough for my legs to start shaking from supporting me. I quickly stand up straight and press my ear back to the door, listening once again for her cries. I hear a few quiet sniffles and know she's still awake. As I start to walk away, I realize why I hadn't told her. I remember how hard it was to get out. A sudden burst of anger explodes in me.

"You think this was easy for me?" I finally spit out. My voice croaks a little but I fight through it. "I was in denial for years. And how do I explain this to Sam and all the guys I dated? Did you even think of how hard it was on me? You think my Dad's gonna even look at me anymore? You think I didn't know you'd react like this? Even if I told you a day after I figured it out, it's still be too late for you."

The tears aren't in drops anymore, it's a constant flow of the salty water. I stand there breathing for a few seconds listening for anything. A sign of any reaction. Any movement. A rustle. A sniffle. A cry.

Nothing.

I turn for my room and make it all the way to my door before I stop. I look at Quinn's door, thinking deep down she'll walk out at any moment, ready to hug me. I stand there wiping my tears with the back of my hand for God knows how long. I calm my choppy breath as I stare at her door handle. I don't know what makes me think it's going to open.

Hopeful uncertainty, maybe.

But it doesn't. It doesn't open. I take a step into my room and, to return the favor, slam my door twice as loud as she did.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hi guys! Sorry I'm making you wait longer, schools back in session :(**

**But I hope you guys enjoyed it! Let me know what you think! Thanks again for reading and supporting!**

**Tumblr- slaves4hemo**


	21. Everybody Talks

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Gaby turns out to be Santana's cousin who Santana clearly doesn't get along with but convinces Santana to "catch up"_

_-The girls go backstage and meet Brittany and Santana goes home with Quinn after clearly being upset by the run in with her cousin_

_-Brittany tells Jeremy about Santana and he takes it great_

_-Quinn gets fed up with Santana not talking to her and snaps on her making her talk_

_-Santana begins to confess everything and Quinn appears to be pissed and extremely hurt Santana kept it from her and runs to her room to cry_

_-After crying for awhile, Santana finally snaps back and says how hard it was on herself after realizing how selfish Quinn is being_ _but both the girls end alone in their rooms_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

When I wake up, I feel like I've been full on hit by a truck. But not the way I usually feel from a hangover, it's different. My body hurts, but so do my insides. I lay there, staring at the blank ceiling as my stomach twists into a giant knot. Last night. Quinn.

How could she be like that? I mean, I understand I didn't tell her, but I didn't technically tell anyone. And does she not get how hard it was on me? She's being so selfish.

But no matter how mad I keep trying to make myself, I just end up feeling more and more hurt.

I force myself out of bed and slowly tip toe to the bathroom. I can't handle seeing Quinn right now, not unless she's planning to apologize. Luckily, Quinn's door is shut tight and I hear no sign of life elsewhere. When I make it into the bathroom, my eyes shoot open at the sight of them. They're really red and puffy, like I haven't stopped crying. I run some warm water and begin splashing some of it on my face. When it doesn't go down, I wet a washcloth and hold it against my eyes while I sit on the toilet, focusing on my deep breathing. I don't know how much time passes, but eventually I stand back up and put the washcloth on the edge of the sink. My eyes are definitely not as swollen, but they're still pretty red.

After brushing my teeth, I tiptoe back to my room and slip into a more comfortable pair of sweats. I was way too tired to change last night after everything that happened so I ended up just taking my dress off and slipping under the covers. Unsure of what else to do, I pull the covers back over me and pick up my computer. I'm worried the TV will make too much noise and I don't want to do anything to draw Quinn's attention to me. When I log on, the first thing I see is an email from my Mom.

_Hola Santana,_

_I hope all is well! I miss you very much. I wanted to make sure you were doing okay. I know your father wasn't pleased with you performing. I want you to know I support you in whatever you do and you'll always have my love. I'm proud of you for getting back out there and singing! You have a beautiful gift, San. Call me soon to catch up! Hopefully one of us can plan a visit soon. Miss you doll! Xoxo. _

_Love,_

_Mama _

A huge smile floods me and I can't help but thank her, even from five hundred miles away. She said exactly what I needed to hear right now, even if she didn't mean the way I want her too. I immediately start my response to her.

_Hi Mama!_

_I miss you so much. Things with Dad aren't great, but I know you knew that. I'm just thankful to have your support. _

I'm pretty sure tears are starting to form in my eyes because the screen is becoming blurry. I take a moment to rub my eyes but they only clear up for a minute. I start to type again when a loud knock stops me. It happens twice, but I don't move. I realize it's from my front door, but I don't move. If I go out there to answer it and Quinn does too, it will be awkward as fuck. For everyone. I start typing again.

_I will call soon and we can plan some sort of visit._

The knock stops me again, this time louder and for a longer time. I ignore it again, trying to finish my email. It's probably just Rachel or something anyway. The knocking stops for almost an entire minute before it starts again. But this time it doesn't stop. It just keeps going. A constant pounding. I try to drown it out for about thirty seconds before I can't take it anymore.

"Ugh," I moan as I slide off the bed. I peek my head out of my door and see a vacant living room.

"I'm coming!" I cry, finally silencing the knocking. I don't bother looking through the peep hole before opening the door. I realize the door isn't locked. Quinn and I must have forgotten to lock it last night.

When the door creaks open, a flustered Brittany is standing in the doorway in a similar pair of sweats.

"Brit," I breath.

"Are you okay?" She quickly stammers. I don't know why seeing her makes me so speechless, maybe it's just the shock of it, but I can't manage to get anything out. I just keep shaking my head and trying to form words. Brittany takes a step forward and pulls me into a hug. I let my head fall into her chest as her hand lands on the back of my head. I don't start crying, but my blurry eyes return almost instantly. I feel Brittany's heart racing and hear the choppiness in her breath. She must have ran over here.

"I-I'm sorry I left you last night," I finally say, not removing my head from her chest.

"What?" Brittany asks, gently pushing my shoulder back so she can look at my face. "That doesn't matter. I mean now. Are you okay right now?" I look at her perplexed.

"Can we- can we go in my room?" I whisper. "I mean, I don't wanna wake Quinn up," I settle for. I don't want Quinn to hear me talking bad about her right now. We can talk about it in my room.

"Quinn?" Brittany says, not so quietly. I immediately put my finger up to her lips to shush her. "Quinn's at my place," She says against my finger.

"What?" I say, turning towards Quinn's door.

"She came over this morning completely distraught. I came out to see if she was okay, but as soon as she mentioned your name I had to come see you."

"What did she say?" I quickly ask.

Brittany starts shaking her head. "All I got was that you told her. But when I walked out, she got all quiet. She said 'Oh, hi Brittany,' with a soft smile. But she started talking again about how she couldn't believe it. But she wasn't really saying anything about it because I was there. I quickly ran back into my room to get my phone. I called you, but you didn't answer. I also heard her saying how you both fell asleep crying and something about a fight but I didn't stay to hear how she felt about any of it. I had to come check on you."

I smile a little at how sweet she is.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"What happened?" She asks. I nod to the couch and we head over to sit down. I sit cross legged facing Brittany who then mimics my position.

"She knew something was up. She knew I was lying about something, but she didn't know what. And last night, after she saw Gabriella, she just-" I stop when I realize Brittany still doesn't know anything about Gabriella. "I'll get to that later," I add. Brittany nods. "She just knew something was up. And she asked me to talk, but I said I wanted to get some sleep. She kind of snapped, and I realized I wasn't being a good friend. I was planning on explaining it to her in the morning anyway, so why make her wait?"

I'm not talking to fast, I think because I'm worried my voice will crack or something. I think Brittany senses it because she reaches onto my lap and take my hands in hers. She runs over the back on my hand with her thumbs and it immediately soothes me.

"So we sat down. And I started to explain some stuff. She thought I was hiding a guy. But when I finally told her about you, she seemed okay at first. She just nodded and absorbed it all, but then she freaked. She was pissed I never told her. And that I've known since high school. And that Rachel knew. That really got her. That Rachel knew before she did. I get it- I get her being mad I didn't tell her, but she doesn't get it!" I start to get heated again.

"It's not fair at all," Brittany says. "She has _no _right to freak out at you when you're revealing something so big to her."

"I know," I nod. "And then, while she was yelling, I realized she was crying. And I saw how hurt she looked. Then she locked herself in her room." A single tear slips down my cheek. Honestly, I was pretty impressed with how long I held it back. Brittany reaches up and brushes it off my skin. But she keeps her hand pressed against my cheek. "At first I was just crushed. But then I started getting angry." Brittany nods. "And I started yelling. About how hard this was for me and how she didn't understand it. I expected her to come out of her room then, so we could talk it out. Or hug. Anything, really. But she didn't."

Brittany pulls my head back into her chest and I let myself collapse onto her. I start that silent type of crying. The kind that makes it seem like I'm not really crying, except for the wetness on my cheeks. But I can still feel it. The same heavy feeling in my chest.

"What sucks is that she says she doesn't even care that I'm gay. She said 'Do you think it would matter? Because it doesn't.' But she's still pissed."

"She's your best friend," Brittany reaffirms. "No matter what, she's gonna love you. I think she's just confused on how to handle it. But no matter what, you have to know," she says tipping my chin up so I'm looking at her. "You're not in the wrong. You have no reason to be sorry. This is about _you,_ not Quinn. And I'm sure Rachel's over there telling Quinn the same thing right now."

I smile as Brittany begins flattening her hand over my hair. I lean forward and give Brittany a soft kiss. The kind that still takes my breath away.

"Thank you," I mumble.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Quinn, slow down!" Rachel urges. The blonde takes a deep breath, calming what seems to be rage.

"I'm sorry," she breaths. "I just- I can't believe her!"

"Quinn-"

"I can't believe she wouldn't tell me! Do I seem like that bad of a friend? That I'd just drop her because of it?"

"Q it has nothing to do with that!" Rachel promises. "She wasn't comfortable with herself!"

"Comfortable enough to tell you," Quinn scoffs.

"Is this seriously what this is about?" Rachel asks, exhausted. She's been listening to Quinn rant about Santana's news for almost an hour now. She knows the news has spread to Santana by now, too, since Brittany ran over there the minute she heard Quinn say anything. Quinn just rolls her eyes.

"She didn't tell me! I figured it out! And I was my typical pushy self and _made_ her tell me. It was probably fucked up, but she needed it. And that's not the point- the point is you, as her _best friend_ should be understanding of her feelings right now! Her fucking Dad won't talk to her because she sang one song. Do you really think he's gonna like hearing about her _girlfriend_? So if you think her not being ready to tell people is bullshit, then you're crazy."

Quinn doesn't say anything, but she doesn't necessarily show any remorse. Rachel's glare on the girl intensifies.

"I just feel like everything is a lie," Quinn tries to say. "If she lied about that and to all the guys, what else could she lie about?"

"She's the same person she's always been!" Rachel screams. "Maybe just a little happier," she says softer. Quinn's expression begins to soften. "But you knew that," Rachel finally says. Quinn looks down at her lap and the mood in the room completely changes.

"Quinn," Rachel whispers, "what is this _really_ about?" For the first time since she got to the apartment, Quinn is calm. She isn't pacing or screaming or fuming. She's sitting still with a soft look on her face. Vulnerable, even. Then, all at once, she starts crying. Heavy crying. The kind of crying that makes your entire body palpitate and makes your chest tighten. The kind that makes it impossible to see clearly. The kind that makes you look and feel completely helpless.

"Q," Rachel breaths, still completely confused. She opens her arms and lets Quinn scooch into them. The girl trembles against her.

"How could I not realize?" She finally sobs. Rachel's forehead creases. "I-I'm supposed to be her best friend!" In between sniffles, she lets out a few small coughs as she clears her throat. "How could I not notice!" She says angrier.

"It's not something that's easy to notice," Rachel says softly as she lets her fingers run through Quinn's hair.

"You noticed! You weren't even friends with her! She hated you!"

"I have two gay dads," Rachel laughs. "I'm around gays all the time. Plus, I put myself people's business way too much. You know that," she says, getting Quinn to release a breathy laugh.

"But she wasn't happy," Quinn says softer. "She wasn't able to be herself, and I didn't even notice." Her voice cracks on every other word and it's clear how much she's hurting. However, it wasn't clear until now that she's not hurting because of Santana.

"I'm supposed to be her best friend," she says again. Rachel sighs, pulling the girl closer. Her sobs pick up again.

"You are her best friend," Rachel affirms.

"Not a good one!" She snaps. "I never noticed my best friend wasn't happy and then she tells me why she wasn't and I completely freak out on her! I acted like a selfish ass because I was mad at _myself_. And I hurt her. What kind of best friend is that?" She's yelling now, but not at Rachel.

"Shh," she hushes. "You're a great friend," she reminds her. "You messed up last night. That's all."

Quinn shakes her head into Rachel's shoulder.

"What am I supposed to do? Brittany probably hates me now, too."

"I don't know if Brittany could ever really _hate_ anyone," she jokes. Quinn smiles but it doesn't really help. "Apologize. Explain yourself. Just be honest with her. It's all you can do." Quinn nods and lifts her head off of Rachel's chest. She lifts the bottom on her T-shirt up to wipe her eyes. Rachel giggles at the smeared mascara on Quinn's flushed face.

"What?" Quinn asks.

"You're a hot mess."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I can't believe you ran over here," I smile.

"I hated picturing you hurting. When Quinn said you'd been crying, I just- I couldn't take it." I intertwine our fingers in my right hand and take our linked hands in my free hand.

"San?" she asks.

"Hm?"

"Is your Dad really not speaking to you?"

"Really," I sigh.

"Because you sang?" I nod in confirmation.

"He doesn't think performing is a valid career choice. He's a doctor, so really anything else is inadequate."

"That sucks," she says.

"Yeah," I agree, but I can't help but smile a little.

"Why are you smiling?" she asks, confused.

"It's just- people usually keep apologizing, or say it will be okay, or try to sugar coat it. And it's okay sometimes. I expect it. I mean, that's what I would say, too. But you're right. It does suck." Brittany smiles back at me.

"What about Gabriella?" She asks. "How does she fit into it?"

"Oh," I say, almost forgetting about her. "Gabriella is my Dad's sister's daughter." I pause as I watch Brittany do the math in her head. "We got along as kids. I mean, most little cousins do. We we're never that close, though. But her mom and I were. Anyway, when my parents got a divorce, everything changed. My Dad didn't want to admit to his family that he had an affair. They all loved my Mom so I think he thought there was a chance they would take my Mom's side and disown him. They're really traditional, so cheating on his wife is like the worst thing he could have done to them. That, or be gay," I joke. It's not really a joke, though. It's probably true. "Anyway, when they found out they were getting a divorce, they were shocked and obviously wanted to know why. My Mom used to talk to my Grandmom everyday. One day, the calls stopped coming in. It was about two weeks after she found out about the divorce. At first, my Mom thought she just needed space. But after she started ignoring my Mom's calls, she figured something was up. Apparently, my Dad told them my Mom was the one who had the affair."

"Did she tell them it wasn't true?" Brittany asks.

"No," I shake my head. "She figured it was his family. If she told them the truth, and they actually believed her, he could lose them. She still cared about him too take them away from him."

"That's incredible of her," Brittany adds.

"I know," I smile. "My Mom's awesome. But that's part of the problem. Because I knew the truth, and I was still kind of pissed at my Dad, I clearly took my Mom's side. My Dad's side of the family thought I was siding with my mother, the cheater, and I got the cold shoulder too."

"What?" Brittany's jaw drops.

"Yeah," I say. There must be pain in my voice because Brittany's grip on my hands tightens. "But at some point my Dad must have stood up for me. I guess because he missed me. Little by little, I started getting weekly phone calls and soon they started inviting me to family parties again. I know it sounds crazy, since they could just drop me that quickly, but I care about them a lot. They're my family."

"It's not crazy," she says softer.

"I love them. I can't really blame them, either. They were just being loyal to my Dad." Brittany nods. "Years have passed," I continue, "but I've always felt like I've been treading thin ice. I had to build up their trust again. Since then, things have been even rockier with my Dad. I mean, I always feel like I have to fight for his approval. And I don't get it, because what he did was really shitty."

"You're an amazing person," she says softly. "You shouldn't have to fight for _anyone's_ approval."

I give her a tiny smile as I look down at our hands. Her skin is so much lighter than mine, but it looks so perfect. It's doll-like.

"But Gabriella has something against me," I start again. "I've never figured it out, what it was. But ever since I got back 'in' with the family, she's been doing everything in her power to knock me out. My Dad's countered every one of her attempts though," I confess. "That's why it's so confusing. He works so hard to keep me in his family, but he'll drop me so quickly if I sing one fricken song."

"So Gabriella... she saw," Brittany whispers.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"I'm so sorry," Brittany breaths. "I- I didn't mean for her to-"

"No," I stop her. "You didn't do anything wrong," I tell her. "Plus, if it was me, I wouldn't have been able to resist you once I tasted your skin."

"Yeah?" She blushes with a smirk.

"Mhm," I smile, leaning closer to her. Within a few seconds, we went from serious to totally flirtatious. I giggle as I snatch her lips in mine. Her hand slides up my side to my neck and a warmth radiates through me.

"Thank you for coming over here," I say as I pull away. "I feel so much better."

"That's what girlfriends are for, right?" She grins. Hearing the word girlfriend makes my heart skip a beat. Brittany rests her forehead against mine and I look into her eyes.

"You know what sucks?" I say. "Quinn lives here." Brittany laughs a little.

"She'll realize she's wrong," Brittany says.

"I know that," I say, actually believing it. "But if she wasn't here, it would be a whole lot easier to do this," I flirt, slipping my hand onto Brittany's upper thigh. My hand slides up a little further and begins to fiddle with her waistband. She feigns a shocked expression as she brings her lips to my neck.

"And I could do this," she says in between kisses. I giggle immediately at her contact. My hand slides a little further down her waistband and hits the top of her underwear. I feel Brittany's stomach flinch and I look down at her. She stares up at me, eyes wide. I start to pull my hand out, worried it isn't okay.

"No," she stops me. "I- I want you to," she says with a smile. "I'm sorry, I just panicked for a second." Then she puts her hand on top of mine, guiding it further down. My hand slips through her folds and almost immediately I can feel how wet she is. Surprisingly, it sends more butterflies through my stomach.

Brittany keeps kissing my neck and as soon as I start making small circles against her, she sucks harder. She lets out a content hum against my neck. The combination of me touching her and her lips against my skin is making me all hot between my legs.

Suddenly, the sound of the door knob turning clicks and my hand slips out of Brittany's pants just as quickly as her lips leave my neck. Completely red faced, we turn towards the door. The door creaks open but stops dead after opening barely an inch. Brittany and I pause. We stare at the door for a minute but nobody walks through. I peak over at Brittany.

"Sorry," I whisper. She looks at me a little perplexed. "For, you know, _stopping_," I say, motioning down to her lap. She smiles at me, blushing hard.

"It's okay," she says with a pause. Once it's clear the door still isn't opening, she adds, "you can make it up to me later," turning my cheeks a deeper shade of red.

Finally, after an audible deep breath, the door pushes open and Quinn walks in with her eyes on the ground. My stomach convulses the second I see her. She looks up, clearly shocked to see me out here in the living room. I roll my eyes the slightest bit and turn back to Brittany, trying to ignore Quinn's presence. Brittany reaches out and gives my hand a little squeeze.

"H-hi," Quinn stammers without leaving her spot in front of the door. When I don't say anything, Brittany answers for me.

"Hey," she says with a tight lipped smile. Quinn takes another deep breath, but this time I can hear the shakiness in it.

"Can I- can I talk to you, San?" She asks. Both girls look at me expectantly.

"Maybe I should go?" Brittany suggests.

"No!" I say, grabbing her crossed legs as tightly as I can.

"No," Quinn says after. "It's fine. It's probably better if you hear this, too."

"Fine," I finally mutter. Quinn takes a seat on the couch across from us and Brittany and I turn our bodies to face her. For the first time, I get a good look at Quinn's face. Her eyes have the same appearance as mine from this morning. But they seem freshly watered. And her hair's all over the place. I'm assuming she didn't brush it when she woke up, she just went straight to see Rachel.

"Where to start," Quinn mumbles under her breath. She clearly hadn't meant for me to hear it, but I did.

"How about _sorry_," I bite.

"I'm so so sorry, San," she quickly says. "You too, Brittany."

I'm really glad she apologized to Brittany, even if she hadn't intended to involve her in this.

"I- I wasn't fair," She starts off. "Let me put it out there that I have zero problem with you being gay. I should have given you a hug right away and told you that. Because I don't. You're right, you coming out was a big deal. I shouldn't have made it any harder on you. And I'm so sorry for that." Quinn takes a deep breath followed by a long pause. I see tears start to well up in her eyes and I reach out for Brittany's hand, intertwining our fingers.

"The truth is," she says, "I wasn't mad you told Rachel first-"

"I didn't tell her," I remind her. Quinn nods.

"Right, sorry. I'm not mad at you for that-"

"You shouldn't be!" I almost shout, reminding her she isn't being a saint for not being mad.

"Let me finish?" she begs. Brittany tugs on my hand a little and I look up at her. She nods to Quinn and I nod back, letting Quinn go on.

"I'm not mad at you, or Rachel, or anyone else. I- I'm mad at myself," she gets out with a cracked voice. The tears start falling immediately, but I still don't understand.

"What kind of best friend am I?" She stammers. She's trying her best to stay calm and look at me, but I can see how hard it's getting for her. "I'm a total ass."

"Q," I finally breath. "It was one night," I remind her. I'm still mad, because she had no right to act that way, but I want her to stop crying long enough to tell my why she's mad.

"No!" She snaps. "Not just last night, San. I'm supposed to be your best friend and I never noticed you were hurting. Or weren't being yourself. Or that you were upset. I didn't notice _anything_. And here Rachel Berry, some random girl you torment in glee puts it together. And then you tell me, and I fucking act all selfish and immature and hurt you even more." She's shaking but she's making herself freak out.

"Q-" I try to stop her.

"No," she says. "There's no excuse. I was mad at myself and I'm so sorry I reacted like that. And I'm sorry I've been such a bad friend."

"Quinn!" I stop her as I rise to my feet. "You've been nothing but a good friend. There was no way you could have known I wasn't happy if I never told you anything. You've always been there for me, I just wasn't comfortable with myself yet."

"I'm so sorry," she says again, tears not stopping. "So _so _sorry. You're my best friend, and I don't wanna lose that."

I sigh as I take Quinn in my arms.

"You'll always be my best friend," I tell her. "Don't be mad at yourself for not figuring it out," I tell her. "Rachel's a fucking freak," I add to lighten the mood. We all giggle a little.

I sit back down next to Brittany and Quinn sits in her chair.

"Look," I say, "How you acted wasn't right. Yeah, it hurt. But I know it's kind of a bombshell. And maybe I should have told you sooner-"

"No," she stops me. "You had every right to tell me whenever you were wanted. I was just being inconsiderate."

I nod, trying to let the apologizing die down a little.

Honestly, I'm not that mad at Quinn anymore. As her best friend, seeing her hurting hurts me. Even if she was the one who hurt me only a few hours ago. Still, she seems to be putting herself through enough pain right now for the both of us.

"Don't you have class?" I say, suddenly worried.

"Started five minutes ago," she shrugs. A huge smile grows on my face.

"You're skipping class for me?"

"Some things are more important than class," she shrugs. It shouldn't be that major to me, but in all the years I've known her, Quinn's never skipped a class before. Not in high school, not in college.

"So now that everyone knows," Brittany whispers, "I guess I can do this," she says, planting a small kiss on my cheek.

"Aw," Quinn swoons. I roll my eyes, but I can't help but flash Brittany a smile. "Wait," Quinn adds, trying to keep her tone calm. "Does that mean Sam and Finn and Kurt know?"

"No," I say deflated. I forgot about them. I was thinking this process was over.

"Are you gonna tell them?" Quinn asks softly. I look over at Brittany, whose looking at me for my answer. I think about it for a few moments, unsure. But then I think about the girl whose hand is locked with mine. More than anything, I want to be able to hold her hand whenever and wherever without questions. I want to be able to cuddle her, hold her, kiss her, whenever I please.

I start nodding and Quinn begins to smile.

"Maybe I should just tell them tonight, get it over with," I shrug.

"Actually," Brittany says. "I was kind of hoping you could keep your schedule clear tonight." Her voice is really quiet. "I figured you've had a hard day, I just thought you could use something to cheer you up. But I can reschedule if you want, I'll understand."

"Are you asking me on a date?" I smile. She nods excitedly.

"Nothing special," she quickly adds, "just some alone time."

"I'd love that," I smile.

"Cool," she grins. She stands up quickly and says, "Well, you don't mind then if I go get ready?"

"No," I say, walking her to the door. "Thanks again for coming. It meant a lot." Were speaking at a low volume, I'm not exactly sure why though.

"Bye, Brit," Quinn calls. "Again, I'm really sorry."

"No worries," she smiles. "See ya! I'll pick you up at eight?" she asks me. I smile, agreeing. She looks over at Quinn before looking down to my lips. I shrug with a giggle and tug on Brittany's shirt, pulling her lips onto mine.

"Bye," she blushes.

"Bye," I smile, closing the door behind her.

I turn back to Quinn and she's smiling really softly at me.

"I can't believe I didn't see it sooner," she says.

"I'm not a flaming lesbian," I roll my eyes.

"No, I mean, she makes you so happy. And I knew that, but I didn't think about it." I smile, just because of how happy Brittany makes me.

"Hey S," she adds, "I'd like another chance," she says.

"Q, I'm already giving you one."

"No- I mean at that conversation. I just- there's still a lot I want to know. If you're up to it, I mean. And whenever you're up to it."

I nod because I do think she deserves an actual conversation about it. Even if she screwed up the first one, I know we'll have to talk about it at some point.

"I have a date to get ready for," I smile, "But maybe tomorrow," I say. "We'll set up a dinner with the guys to tell them, and we can talk before then?" Quinn nods rapidly.

"One more question," she says.

"What?" I roll my eyes.

"Can I help you get ready? For your date?" I try my best to fight the corner of my lips from turning upward, but I can't.

"Come on," I say with a breathy laugh.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hey guys! Thanks for being patient with me recently. Hope you're enjoying it!**

**Let me know what you think! Xx**

**Tumblr- Slaves4hemo**


	22. Wishes

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana wakes up, feeling shitty after the fight with Quinn, and hears a knock on the door. She reluctantly answers it after she realizes Quinn isn't going to answer it either_

_-She's shocked to see a worried Brittany at the door_

_-She learns Quinn went to Rachel as soon as she woke up and Brittany came to comfort Santana as soon as she realized something was wrong_

_-Meanwhile, Quinn confesses how guilty she feels to Rachel and explains how she's only mad at herself for not realizing her best friend wasn't happy. Rachel urges her to tell Santana_

_-Santana explains to Brittany her Dad's past and how he told his family that his wife was the one who had an affair. The family stopped talking to Santana for awhile because they thought she took her mom's side_

_-Gabriella is her cousin who has always had it out for Santana for an unexplained reason_

_-The girls turn flirty and begin to hook up when Quinn interrupts, coming home to apologize for last night_

_-They make up, and B asks S on a date. She leaves, leaving Q and S to get ready together_

_-They plan to tell the boys about them the next night_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"You don't wanna wear a dress?" Quinn asks me as she holds up one of my newer red dresses.

"She just texted me to dress casual," I shrug.

"Where do you think you're going?" Quinn grins as I pull dark jean shorts out of my closet.

"I don't know," I say. "She can be pretty creative, though," I say. "So can make something out of nothing." Quinn smiles big at me and I begin to slip on my shorts.

"Can I do your make up?" she asks.

"I've been doing my own make-up since middle school," I roll my eyes.

"Please," she begs. I sigh and nod, deciding letting her do it could be somewhat of a peace offering. "Yes!" She cheers.

"Maybe I'll just wear this," I decide as I pull out a plain white tank top. I take off my T and pull the tight tank over my head. Quinn raises her eyebrow at me with a small smirk.

"Trying to show some skin?" She says, letting her eyes flutter down to my chest.

"This is a _date_," I say dryly. Quinn laughs a little, then her face lights up.

"Hold on!" She squeals. "I have the perfect thing for you!" She gallops out of my room and within a few seconds she's sliding back into my room, holding up a gray cloth material. "Wear this!" She says, unfolding a light grey cardigan vest. I smile a little at how excited Quinn is. Also, the vest would go perfect with my outfit. I walk over and slip my arms into the loose fitting vest that falls just above where my shorts end.

"Best part is, it doesn't cover your tits," Quinn smiles.

"Q!" I squeal.

"What?" She laughs.

"I'm supposed to be the gay one," I roll my eyes.

"Come on," she groans, stifling a laugh, as she pulls me by my hand to the bathroom. "How are you gonna do your hair?" she asks. I shrug. "Let's curl it a little," she suggests. "Just a little waves."

"Fine by me," I say as I take a seat on the edge of the counter. Quinn pulls out the curling iron as she stares at me for a minute.

"I'm really sorry, again-"

"Quinn, I told you, stop apologizing," I snap. She's been apologizing every five minutes since Brittany left. I swear, when I was in the shower she was standing outside of my door saying "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"I know," she breaths. "I'm just- I can't believe I-"

"Quinn!" I moan.

"Sorry," she whispers, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Just curl my hair," I say. We fall silent for a little as she starts to wrap the bottom of my hair around the curling iron.

"So you really want to tell the boys?" She finally says, her voice purposely soft. I nod and Quinn pulls the iron away from my head.

"Don't move!" She urges.

"Sorry."

"So you're ready for people to know, then?" she asks.

"I don't know if I'll ever be fully ready," I admit. "I mean, until the worlds ready, I won't be. But, I feel like I've been hiding a lot of who I am for so long. Not just from me, but from everyone else. And now that I'm with Brittany, I feel like I'm finally being honest. And it feels so good." Quinn smiling so big and I'm sure I'm blushing, but I don't care. It feels good to finally tell Quinn how I've been feeling. "When you've hidden something for so long, all you want to do is be open," I explain. "And even if I'm not a hundred percent ready, all I really want is to be with her."

"You really like her," Quinn states. I nod, agreeing.

"This is how you feel about Puck," I breath. "I never understood it." She smiles as her face reddens. Then she hugs me. Normally, I would push her off of me and make some joke about her being all sappy and shit, but I can't help but hug her back.

"I'm sorry," she says, "I'm just so happy for you."

"Just do my makeup," I roll my eyes as I push her off of me, not fully able to fight the smile off my lips.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Santana!" Quinn screams from the living room. "She's here!" Butterflies fill my stomach at the thought of Brittany only being a room away from me. I saw her this morning, but these past few hours have felt like days. It's quite pathetic, really.

"Coming!" I shout back as I take one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair looks naturally wavy, the way it often does, and my makeups simple. But I have to admit, it looks a little better than what I would have done. I adjust my top so my cleavage is a little classier and I take a deep breath before walking out into the living room.

Brittany's standing in the middle of our living room in a fitted grey tank top that hangs a little lose on her. Her hair is pulled back in a braided ponytail, showing off her beautiful face. And the lack of hair on her shoulders really makes her body look hot. She's wearing white shorts and I'm relieved to see I picked a similar outfit for whatever the occasion is.

She smiles at me as she walks closer to me to give me a hug.

"You look cute," she smiles confidently. Seeing her like this always makes it hard for me to believe that she ever gets nervous.

"You too," I tell her.

"Ready?" she asks. I nod and turn to say goodbye to Quinn.

"Behave, you two," she jokes. I roll my eyes but I hear Brittany giggle, making me immediately soften up.

"See ya," I say. "Have fun tonight."

"You too," she says. Brittany waves bye as we walk out of the apartment.

"Correction, you look _hot_," Brittany says as soon as I close the door behind me. I blush with a giggle as I look towards the floor. I'm about to walk down the steps when she snatches my hand in hers, making me turn towards her. I look up at her and she pulls me closer.

"No, seriously," she smiles. "You do." She interlaces our fingers as she continues to pull me closer.

"So do you," I confess, getting a closer look at her smooth skin. Brittany leans forward and gently presses her lips against mine. My stomach pulses as my lips tingle. She pulls away and smiles.

"We have plenty of time for that later," she smirks.

"Good," I smile back, way too excited to continue that. "Where are we going?" I ask as we start walking down the stairs.

"You'll see," she shrugs.

Once we get outside, I'm surprised to see how dark it is. I forgot it was nighttime. I follow her down the block.

"You hungry?" she asks.

"A little," I admit. I realize I haven't eaten too much today. Brittany grabs my hand in hers and pulls me towards a truck. I can't help but smile as I look at our locked hands. I've rarely held hands in public with anyone I was dating, so this is extra nice.

"This is my favorite," she says, pointing towards the food truck in front of us. Rickshaw Dumpling Truck. "It's like ranked the best food truck in the city," she explains. "Is this okay?" She asks.

"Of course," I smile at her concerned face. "Can you order for me? I don't know what to order." She smiles and nods.

"Brittany!" The man in the cart says with a thick asian accent.

"How are you doing?" she asks with a smile as she reaches into the cart to give the guy a fist bump. My forehead creases together as I try to keep from laughing.

"Good how are you! The usual?" he asks.

Brittany nods. "Thai chicken dumplings with the peanut sauce," she confirms. "Make that two," she adds. "Oh, and two waters."

"Of course!" He says. Brittany turns to me with a smile, completely unaware of how funny this is to me.

"What?" she asks, when she sees my face.

"Come here a lot?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah," she smiles. "Well, not that much," she shrugs. "He's just friendly." I smile, but part of me thinks it's Brittany whose the friendly one. Another reason I like her so much. Who can just make friends with the food truck worker. And who can make _that _big of an impression on someone in just a few minutes, especially when they deal with hundreds of customers a day. He hands her a bag full of our food and Brittany pulls some money out of her purse.

"Hey," I grab her wrist stopping her. "Let me," I say.

"No," she stops me. "This is your night," she smiles. I try to get my money but she tightens her grip on my wrist. "San," she breaths, and I give up, realizing I won't win this one.

"Keep the change," she says as she hands him a twenty. "Have a good one!"

"You too!" He cheers, clearly happy about his tip.

"Come on," Brit nods as she carries the bag back the way we came from. We walk a block until I can see Columbus Circle again. It looks really pretty at night, something I never really paid attention to. Each level of steps shoots water into the center, something pretty usual, but at night it's all lit up. I'm not sure if it's a special occasion or something, but the lights are blue today. I'm pretty sure I've only seen them the normal yellow color. It looks so beautiful.

"That looks amazing," I tell her.

"I know," she smiles. "It's my favorite thing in New York at night, I think." As we approach a bench right in front of the fountain I realize this was Brittany's plan all along. We sit down and Brittany unwraps our meals as she hands me my bowl, my water, and a fork. I wait for her to get settled before I take a bite of mine. "Mmm," I hum as the dumpling hits my mouth. "This is so good!" I say.

"I know," she smiles proudly. "So how are you feeling?" she asks.

"Good," I smile. "A lot better, now, thanks to you."

"How were things with Quinn after I left?"

"A lot better," I confess. "I mean she kept apologizing so that was annoying, but at least I know she's sorry. And that she's okay with, you know, _this_."

"How do you think the boys will take the news?" she asks.

"I mean, two of them are gay, so that should help," I say. Brittany lets out a little giggle.

"True," she says. "What about Sam?" She asks softer.

"That's the one I'm worried about," I confess. "I don't really give too much of a fuck if Finn cares. But I know he won't."

"I figured that," she smiles. "So do you think Sam will have a problem with it?"

"I mean, not about me being gay. We were in glee club. We pretty much were trained to be accepting of that stuff. It's just, um, a little harder because first I dated him for awhile. And then he was interested in you. So it almost makes it feel like a double backstab."

"You can't blame yourself," she says.

"Yeah, but I mean I can. I shouldn't have dated him if I knew I was gay."

"Santana, you were going through a hard time. People experiment and try things. Other people hide things. You can't blame yourself. And I think he'll understand eventually."

"I hope," I sigh. "So did you end up telling your Dad?" I start to ask. "Wait!" I stop, almost dropping my fork. "Did you get to see them today?" I ask as my stomach drops. Brittany was supposed to have lunch and take them to the airport, but she was with me today, making sure I was okay.

"I didn't tell him yet," she says. "I saw them, don't worry."

"You didn't get to go to lunch, did you?" I ask softer. She shakes her head no.

"But I got to send them off at the airport. I just didn't think it was the right time to tell him that quickly. So I'll just wait until we can have a long talk," she says.

"Brit," I sigh, "you shouldn't have come over. I'd be here when they left, but I took away your last lunch with them for awhile."

"Santana," she sighs.

"No," I stop her. "That's not fair. I feel like a dick."

"Santana, it was my choice. And it wasn't a big deal. I just told them you needed me. They completely understood."

"I'm sorry," I breath.

"Santana," she says my name again, this time placing her hand on my leg. "You're really important to me. And I'd do anything to make you smile. That includes missing a lunch with my Dad and sister." My face flushes as butterflies burst inside of me. I try to think of something sweet to say back, but her words keep repeating themselves over and over again in my head.

"Are you done?" she asks, looking down at my almost empty bowl. I nod as Brittany takes my food from my lap. She tosses it in the trash can next to her and grabs my hand again.

"Come on," she says, pulling me to my feet. Before I know it, we're walking on top of the first level of steps on the fountain. All around the circle, cars are zipping. But other than that, the circle is relatively private. The only people I can see from up here is a couple directly across from us, sitting with on the edge, feet dipping into the fountain. On the first couple levels, the water isn't deep. It's not even an inch high. I follow Brittany's lead and slip my flip flops off, sitting beside her, letting my feet touch the thin layer of water.

"Is this even legal?" I ask with a laugh. Brittany shrugs with a smile.

"Doesn't stop everyone else."

Where we're sitting, there isn't any water being shot out. There's a big gap.

"This is cool," I smile.

"Here," Brittany says, handing me a small bag from her purse.

"What's this?" I say, but the clinking of coins in my hand answers my question. She reaches over and loosens the pouch, taking out a few coins. She hands me a couple and holds onto some for herself. I look up at Brittany as she closes her eyes and grips the coin.

"I wish," she starts in a soft voice. "I wish that Sam won't be mad at Santana," she says as she throws the coin into the fountain.

"Brit!" I squeal.

"What?" she says, her face suddenly worried.

"If you say your wish out loud then it doesn't come true!"

"That's bull," she shakes her head. "A bunch of paranoid, unlucky people made that up." I smile at her optimistic logic.

"You're turn," she says, pointing to my coins. I close my eyes, grip the coin, and wish the same thing, but add Brittany's name.

_I wish Sam won't be mad at me or Brittany_.

Then I throw the coin into the fountain.

"San," Brittany sighs, "you have to say it out loud!"

"Why?" I ask.

"Because that's how it works. I promise it's not going to jinx you." I nod at her, realizing how easily I'm trusting her words. "So what'd you wish?" she asks.

"Who taught you this?" I ask, curious.

"My mom," she admits. "I think her Dad used to do it, too. Whenever we went to the mall or to a park, we'd always make wishes just like everyone else. Only, we'd say them out loud. It's not like we screamed it," she laughs, "just loud enough for the other one to hear. Sometimes it was only loud enough for one of us to hear, but always out loud."

The fact that Brittany wants to share something this special to her with me, makes me melt.

"I wished the same thing," I confess. "Only I added your name, too." Brittany's smile grows as she takes another coin out of her palm.

"I wish for Santana to become a successful performer," she says, tossing the coin.

"Same with Brittany," I add, throwing one of my coins.

"I wish Santana's Dad would like her performing. And I wish he talked to her." She throws the coin in.

"I wish Gabriella wasn't such a bitch," I add, throwing the coin in. Brittany smiles a little, but I know she feels bad.

"Are you going to see her soon?" Brittany asks.

"I hope not," I say. "But if she calls me, I think I'm gonna have to see her." Brittany nods. "I wish Brittany got to have lunch with her family today," I say, tossing another coin in.

"You can't wish that," She says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Because that already happened. You can't change the past."

"Oh," I say.

"I mean, you can wish about things from the past in certain ways, but not like that."

"Like what?" I ask. Brittany picks up a coin and sighs.

"I wish my Mom was here to see this," she says, throwing the coin. Chills run down my spine. I scoot closer to Brit and put my arm around her waist.

"I guess that doesn't really work either, though," Brittany says defeated. "I mean, she's never gonna be here."

I pick up a coin.

"I wish Brittany's Mom could see this," I say softly, throwing the coin in. Brittany looks up at me with a soft smile. "She doesn't have to be here to see you," I add. Brittany quickly pecks me on my cheek.

"Thank you," she smiles softly. "I just want her to see how happy I am." Another chill hits me, this time on the nape of my neck.

"I'm sure she can," I say. Brittany rests her head on my shoulder.

"I wish that Santana has fun tonight," Brittany says, tossing another coin into the fountain. It hits one of the water spouts and changes directions before it hits the ground.

"You don't have to waste a wish on that," I tell her. "Of course I'll have fun with you."

Brittany smiles up at me. "See, the wishes work," she winks.

I giggle a little.

"Well then, I wish Brittany would kiss me," I flirt, throwing the coin into the water. Without thinking about it, Brittany tilts my head towards me with her hand and gives me a soft kiss. I don't realize the thrill of kissing in public is that big until my entire body shudders against hers.

"Told you they work," she smiles. A little girl, probably about six or seven years old, climbs over the edge of the fountain and sprints right in it, letting the water completely drench her.

"Taylor! Out of the fountain, now!" A woman who must be her mom climbs over the fountain, calling her daughter. The girl giggles for awhile, and after a few more scoldings from her mom, begrudgingly climbs out of the fountain.

Through her giggles, Brittany jumps up.

"Come on!" She says.

"What?" I say.

"Let's go! Come in with me!"

"In the fountain?" Brittany are you crazy?"

"Yeah," she simply says, nonchalant as ever.

I look around the fountain and realize the other couple already left. There's no one else anywhere in sight. I can barely see the cars from here. Brittany reaches into my hand and takes the remaining penny from me.

"I wish Santana would come in the fountain with me," she says, staring me straight in the eye, before tossing the coin over her shoulder and into the fountain. I roll my eyes at first, but I can't help jumping to my feet.

I don't know if I do it because I think not honoring this wish will cancel out all the other wishes we made, or if I feel the need to honor her wish because she honored mine and kissed me. Or maybe it's just because I just want to go in the fountain with her.

Brittany squeals a little as she grabs my hand. She starts walking down to the lower platform. I follow her down and she starts to walk sideways, straight into the shooting water. I stop walking and Brittany tugs me with her, pulling me right into the stream of water.

"Ah!" I scream as the freezing water hits my arm. I quickly jump out of the way.

"San," She giggles, pulling me back into it. Brittany twirls under the fountain, letting the water soak her entirely. She takes a step down, walking further into the fountain, to where the water is a little deeper and is shooting at you from every angle.

"Come here!" She laughs.

"You're insane," I giggle.

"Get down here!" She says. I finally take the step down, and the world disappears. The cars are completely out of sight, and so are the people on the sidewalks. The only thing I can see is buildings. I start to shiver as my clothes absorb the freezing water. Brittany kicks a bunch of water at me and I squeal.

"Brit!"

"Come dance!" She says.

"What?"

"Dance with me!" She says as she starts dancing like a silly kid in the water. "Oh! Look what I can do!" She says, gliding across the slick surface.

"You're so hot," I say with a smile. Watching her dance is one of the hottest things ever.

"You know what's hot?" she says seductively. "That shirt on you."

I look down at my white tank sticking to my skin. The wetness is making it see through in most areas, especially my stomach. My bra is the only thing keeping my top somewhat transparent.

"Shit," I breath, covering my chest with my arms. Brittany immediately pulls my arms away from my chest.

"I like it," she smirks, wrapping my arms over her neck. She pulls me closer to her and places her arms around my lower back.

"You cold?" She asks, as the water falls down my back.

"A little," I admit. She pulls me closer again so our stomachs and foreheads are touching. She rubs her hands up and down my sides, trying to warm my body up.

"Can we dance?" She asks, putting her hand out for me to take.

"There's no music," I say, slipping my hand into hers anyway. Brittany starts rocking us back and forth slowly, slipping her in and out of the water.

"_Backpack on my back, walking down a railroad track_," Brittany begins singing ever so softly. She's basically whispering but something about her voice calms me immediately. It's like it's a special warmth filling me. I raise my eyebrow a little at her at the strange lyrics, but whatever she's singing is fitting her voice perfectly. "_Oh, I've been wanting to see you_," she sings, making my face relax.

"_Eyes upon the rows of trees, an endless sea in front of me. _

_Oh, I've been longing to see you._"

Brittany's face is bright red as she sings the song so softly. I know we're in the city, but something about this moment is so private and quiet.

Brittany pauses awhile before she starts singing again. I don't know if that's how long the pause is in the song or if she's actually stopping, so I speak up, making sure she continues.

"Keep going," I whisper. She nods.

"_You've been on my mind, talk about a lonely time. _

_You don't know how much I need you._"

My body shudders again, this time from her words. Maybe she chose this song at random, but the way she's saying the words are chilling my spine.

"_Once I feel the downy snow, the only home I've ever known. _

_I'll hold you close when I see you,_" she says, pulling me closer than before. We both start smiling like foolish high school girls.

"_There's no way I could let you go. _

_There's no way I could let you go. _

_There's no way I could let you go,_" she sings softly, making me melt for the fifteenth time today.

"You're so cute," I say, nuzzling my face into her. I pull my hand out from hers and wrap it back around her neck. I lean in and slowly press my lips against hers. She's so gentle it makes my chest tighten. When I pull away, I smile at her drenched face. I forgot water was still soaking me, that's how warm she was making me feel.

"I want you to sing me to sleep," I tell her, totally in love with her pure voice.

"That's your job," she smiles. "I'll dance for you."

"Deal," I smile, thinking of her dancing for me and only me.

"I like your hair wet," she says. It's sticking to my face and I immediately get the urge to brush it away, but Brittany takes care of it for me.

"I like you wet," I quickly say, trying my best to hide my laughter. It slips out of me without much thought. Brittany's jaw drops with a small giggle. She quickly tugs at my tight-skinned shirt.

"Then you probably like me a lot right now," she flirts back, quickly raising her eyebrow. I'm too stunned to say anything, so Brittany tugs my hand as I follow her up the fountain steps. I run through the cold water until we're on the top step and clear of the shooting water. We both start shivering as the cold night breeze hits us.

"Let's get out of here," she says, grabbing my hand in hers. We pick up our stuff as we quickly shuffle down the street. I intertwine our fingers and Brittany looks over to me, grinning big. When we pass Brittany and mine's apartments, I turn to her.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," she giggles.

We only walk one more block before I figure it out.

"Wait," I stop.

"Don't worry," Brittany grins. "They're not home."

"What?" I say confused.

"Just, trust me," she says. And I do.

We enter the apartment and climb upstairs and Brittany pulls a key out of her purse.

"How do you have that?" I ask.

"I have my ways," she smiles. She opens the door and slams it behind her quickly.

"Now, let's get you out of those wet clothes," she smirks. We both giggle a little when I realize she's quoting the O.C. It's right after Marissa comes in after getting caught in a rainstorm. Then Marissa and Alex have a steamy make out session.

Her hands frantically grab the bottom of my wet tank as she rips it over my head, crashing her lips into me. She pushes me back into the door and her hands search over my stomach. I shudder at her touch but in a good way. Her lips find my neck and she begins aggressively kissing it. My body starts pulsing as my muscles clench. All at once, she lifts my lifts my legs with her hands and wraps them around her waist. She presses me against the wall as her lips kiss all over my neck and down my chest. When her mouth hits my collarbone, my legs clench around her. She smirks as she brings her lips up to my mouth. She kisses me hard. Harder than she ever has. My hands run through her hair and I let out a soft moan as she presses her core into my opened legs. Both of our breaths are choppy as she pulls away from my lips. Without putting me down, Brittany carries me, legs around her waist, towards the room in the back.

"You're so hot," I mutter.

It's not until we make it there that I remember it's a beach. On top of the sand is a giant blanket the size of a kingsize bed, clearly planned for this occasion. Brittany barely struggles as she steps into the room and lowers me down onto my back. I quickly reach up before she presses her body onto mine and pull her wet tank top off of her. She complies and quickly falls back down on me, planting her lips on mine. Her tongue pokes against my lips and I shake again. I quickly work my tongue into her mouth and she lets out a soft hum. When I feel whatever's going on in between my legs I instinctually unbutton Brittany's shorts, imagining she's feeling the same. She lifts her center off of mine so I can slide them down her legs.

"W-wait," I breath. "Are they- coming home?"

"I took care of it," she breaths back. "Rachel has Kurt and Blaine occupied till tomorrow morning." I smile up at her as I think about her planning this. I normally would be concerned with how she got them away for this long, but I don't give a fuck right now.

"You're incredible," I say, pulling her by the neck down towards me.

"You deserve it," she says after a long kiss. I pull her shorts all the way down her legs as she kisses my chest. Her arms reach behind my back and she unclips my bra. Behind her back, I do the same. We both pull them off of us. I'm freezing so I pull her body onto mine.

"You're so warm," she shudders into me. I kiss her again when I feel how fast and hard her heart is beating against mine. Her hands slip down my sides and she lifts off me enough to unbutton my shorts. She pulls them down and I kick enough to get them off.

"Hmm," Brittany hum as my hands land on her ass. The image of me leaving Brittany hanging yesterday pops into my mind and I quickly muster up all my strength to flip her onto her back.

"Umph," she moans, but I feel her smirk against my lips as soon as I kiss her. I let my hand slide down her center as my lips slowly part from hers. I take one good look at Brittany's flushed but beautiful face. She's breathing heavily but smiles up at me as she feels where my hand is going.

"Y-you're beautiful," I stammer softly, slowing the moment. Instantly, Brittany's lips are back on mine and we kiss for another minute or so before I bring myself to move down to her neck. The second I do, my hand slips into her underwear. Her stomach convulses the second my fingers touch her waist. When they slip through her folds she shudders.

"San," She breaths as I start to make circles. My lips work their way all over her neck and down to her chest. Brittany's hand finds my free hand and pulls it up to her chest, placing it over her breast. She lets out a soft moan as my hand works its way around her bare skin. Her breath picks up as my fingers start moving a little faster. I softly kiss her chest and begin sucking on her nipple, something that starts to send her over the edge. All of her muscles contract and she lets out a little moan. I continue kissing around her chest as I slip my finger further down into the wetness. I softly circle around before gently sliding my finger inside of her. Brittany shakes as her chest quickly rises and falls.

"San," She moans, digging her nails into the back of my neck. She moans again when I begin slipping my finger up and down. Her nails dig harder as I feel her close around my finger. She breaths loudly and quickly for a few seconds before it happens.

"F-_fuck_!"She screams as her body collapses under me.

I let my body fall down on top of her as I softly and slowly kiss up and down her neck. As her breathing slows, she lets her hands run through my hair. We lay there quietly for some time, me kissing her skin, her fingers tracing my back.

"Woah," she sighs as soon as her breath is almost back to normal. I sit up with a smile and, gentler than ever, kiss her lips.

"That's a thank you for today," I smirk.

"I didn't do anything _that_ great," she smiles.

"You were perfect," I tell her. "This morning. Then tonight. Everything. It was perfect."

Her hand cups my cheek as she slowly leans up to kiss me. The butterflies I've had all day intensify.

"That was perfect," she smiles. I lean my head down on her chest and Brittany begins to giggle. I'm about to ask what's so funny when, all at once, she slips her body out from underneath mine, landing me on my back. Her legs quickly flip to straddle me so she's on top of my bare waist.

"Your turn," she giggles.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Hi guys! A couple things

if you don't know what the columbus circle in NYC looks like, I'd google a picture of "columbus circle fountain" they have some cool pics up.

The song Brittany sings is called the backpack song. It's really pretty and I do think it would suit her voice perfectly. Check it out

add this to :

/ watch?v=CMaD5A-cIjY

Thanks for reading and reviewing again and I'm sorry you have to wait a week for updates! School and soccer make me busy!

much love.

Tumblr- slaves4hemo


	23. Team Gay

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Quinn helps Santana get ready for her date_

_-Brittany picks Santana up and they have an amazing date_

_-They go to Colombus Circle fountain and throw coins, making wishes out loud_

_-Santana wishes Brittany would kiss her, she does, then Brittany wishes Santana would go in the fountain with her. They dance around in the fountain and have a moment where Brittany sings a little_

_-They're wet and turned on and decide to leave, but Santana is confused when they don't head back to either of their apartments_

_-She takes them back to Kurt and Blaine's empty apartment for sexy time :)_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Brittany's arms twist a little under my body and I slowly come out of my deep sleep.

"Sorry," she whispers when my eyes flutter open. "I had to check what time it was."

"It's okay," I smile, remembering where I am and why I'm here. Brittany's hand tightens around my bare waist again and I cuddle into her warmth.

Last night was flawless. First, the perfect date. Then she somehow managed to get this place for us. I was finally able to pleasure her, something I hadn't realized I'd been dying to do. She quickly returned the favor, and we spent the rest of the night kissing on this quasi-beach. I've never felt like this in my life. For once, everything feels perfect. I know it's not, not even close. But I guess the difference is, I just don't care anymore. I don't care about the dumb stuff that would normally bother me, because the way Brittany makes me feel overshadows the rest of it.

I turn my body and slide up the blanket a little, so my face is across from Brittany's. Her eyes light up and we both start smiling. She leans closer and nuzzles her nose against mine. She gives me a soft kiss and I decide I want to wake up this way _every _morning. My body tingles in the best way possible.

"We actually have to go soon," she breaths. "I don't know if Rachel can keep the boys away much longer." I nod but I don't get up. Neither does she.

"Okay," I say. "How did you get her to help you anyway?"

"It was easy," she laughs, almost confused I'm surprised. "She wanted to help plan the _whole_ night, but I told her that was my job. She did offer to leave the place so we could have some, you know, alone time, but I told her that was too expected. I wanted something more special. So she quickly called Kurt and Blaine and set up some spa night or something? Some sleepover tradition Kurt and her love, and they were happy to let Blaine join them. Rachel thought it was perfect because she already had a key to their place from Kurt. I couldn't really argue, I mean this is awesome.

"So you knew you were gonna be able to seduce me the whole time?" I smirk.

"No," she says, truthfully. "But I hoped. And that's why I didn't tell you I had it planned out. I wasn't sure if you'd wanna, you know," she fades off, almost embarrassed to be talking about this kind of stuff. She didn't seem embarrassed last night...

"Of course I'd wanna," I tell her. She smiles and I catch her lips in mine. She lets out a soft hum and brings her hand up to my cheek, gently running her fingers over my skin. She tightens her lips around mine before she pulls away with a heavy breath.

"We'd better stop before we get carried away," she sighs.

"Speak for yourself," I joke.

"Oh," she says a little deflated.

"Brit, I'm joking," I quickly say, rubbing my hands up the sides of her perfectly toned abs. "Trust me, it's best we stop now."

Brittany giggles as she plants a short kiss on my mouth. Then she stands up and puts her hand out to help me up.

"Here," she says, handing me my shorts and tank top, which I quickly slide on. I finish just in time to watch her pull her shirt on, giving me one last look at her body. Brittany folds up the blanket and takes a look at the sandy room.

"I guess we don't have too much else to clean up," she shrugs.

"We didn't do that much damage," I say, looking around the apartment.

"Well we didn't leave the room," she laughs.

"Exactly."

Brittany's phone beeps and her face drops when she reads the message.

"Shit. They're coming. Let's go!" She grabs my hand and pulls me out the doorway after taking one last quick look around the place.

"Who? What?" I freak. But I know she means Kurt and Blaine. The thought of them seeing us here, together, makes me feel physically ill. It's hard to explain, though. It's not that they won't understand, or judge me. I mean, they're as gay as they come. It's the guilt of lying and the shame of hiding. Plus the fact that we just used their apartment to get it on without their knowledge makes it worse.

"Rachel just texted me saying they left a few minutes ago and she couldn't find her phone to text me! We gotta go."

We close the door behind us and Brittany starts running down the first flight of steps. I quickly trot behind her. We make it down the first two flights before we both freeze.

"I don't know," Kurt's distinct voice booms through the stairwell. He's right below us and we know it.

"Fuck," I breath. Brittany looks around before quickly pulling me underneath the staircase.

"Down," she whispers as we both squat against the wall. Kurt and Blaine are going to walk past us, but hopefully they won't look sideways. And if they do, we can only hope we're below their eye-line.

"Maybe she had class," Blaine adds.

"All night and morning?" Kurt says. They're getting closer and my heart's pounding. I swear it's echoing through the stairwell. Maybe that's just their footsteps.

"She was probably just out with friends," Kurt says again.

"I like her," Blaine adds.

"Me too." Kurt's voice is suddenly so close and their footsteps are within reach. Both Brittany and I hold our breath as we get ready for them to pass us. I see the black leather combat boots and know it's Kurt. Blaine's loafers are right behind him, walking a little slower. Right when I think Kurt's about to completely pass us, he stops and turns to face Blaine. Blaine stops too.

"You know what's weird?" Kurt asks slowly. Brittany and I look at each other, pure terror on both of our faces.

"Hm?"

"I- I miss Santana," he says like it's the biggest shocker in the world. If I wasn't in hiding, I swear I would walk over and slap that boy.

"Really?" Blaine laughs.

"Yeah," he says seriously. "I mean, you know I always appreciated her sense of humor. But she's been so fun to be around since we got back. I can't explain it," he says, "but I actually want to be around her."

Blaine's feet slowly glide towards Kurt as Brittany's hand tightens around mine. He lets out a light laugh.

"Then I guess we better hang with her soon," Blaine says. He must push Kurt to turn around, because soon enough his feet turn the other way and they continue walking towards the next flight of steps. I don't start breathing again, but the knot in my stomach loosens.

"You're right," Blaine says as his footsteps land directly above us. "She has been in a better mood then she ever was in high school."

"I know," Kurt adds. Their voices are starting to fade, as is the sound of my heart. "I love it."

Then the door closes, and we know they're inside their apartment. Both of us let out our breath at the same time, feeling more relief than ever.

"I'm sorry," Brittany sighs as she looks away from me.

"It's not your fault," I smile. "Even if we got caught," I tell her, "it would have been worth it."

Brittany's face relaxes as I pull her in for a kiss.

"Let's go," I smile as I help her out from underneath the stairwell.

As soon as we make it out of the building, giggles ensue.

"That was crazy," I laugh.

"I know," she smiles as we walk down the street.

"You're pretty good at hiding."

"I have a ten-year-old sister," she reminds me. "Hide-and-go-seek is pretty popular at home." We laugh again and any nerves built up from hiding are gone.

"I can't believe that jerk," I say, referring to Kurt.

"Why's that a bad thing?" Brit asks. "I mean, he wants to hang with you."

"I know I was a bitch before, but I wasn't _that_ bad. He's acting like I'm a fucking _saint_ all of a sudden." Brittany giggles as I roll my eyes.

"Is he right?" Brittany asks softly.

"About what?"

"That you're happier now."

A smile floods my face.

"Much," I say. Brittany's face heats up as I nudge my shoulder into hers.

"So, do you think you're gonna tell them soon?" She asks softer.

"We," I remind her. "I want you there, too."

"Of course," she smiles.

"So are _we_ going to tell them?"

"Actually, I was thinking about having everyone over for dinner soon. And telling them there. This way if there's any screaming or stuff we're in private."

"You actually think people are gonna yell?" she asks, clearly concerned.

"No," I laugh. "Well, I don't know. Kurt and Blaine, out of shock, maybe. Then happiness. I honestly think Sam will just be speechless."

"I hope a good speechless."

"Me too," I agree. "How about tonight?" I ask. "I get off of work at five. I could ask everyone to come over and we'll get takeout or something."

"I'm free," she shrugs with a smile.

"Okay, I'll ask everyone," I say as we arrive at my building.

"You wanna come up?" I ask, nodding towards my apartment.

"Yeah, but I have to go get ready for class," she frowns.

"I better get ready for work." She smiles at me and I pull her into a hug.

"Thank you _so_ much," I whisper. "I had the best time."

"Me too," she smiles. "Text me after work?" she asks.

"Of course." Brittany plants a small kiss on my cheek and we both begin to blush.

"See ya," she says, bashfully turning away.

"Bye."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I close the door behind me with a sigh. Seconds after the door closes, Quinn's door shoots open and she comes running out.

"How was it?!" She asks, sprinting towards me. My eyebrows crease together and I giggle.

"Good," I smile.

"Good? Just good? That's all I get?"

I push past Quinn with an eye roll as I throw my bag on the couch.

"I have to get ready for work," I tell her.

"I'll come with you."

"I have to shower."

"I want to hear about it! Can I sit in the bathroom while you shower?"

"Q!" I squeal, but it's honestly not that weird. How many times have we done something like that.

"Whatever," I shrug.

"You said we could have our conversation, too," she reminds me.

"I know," I sigh, heading towards the bathroom. I turn the water on and Quinn waits outside while I strip down to nothing and hop into the shower. I pull the curtain across the shower and I hear Quinn mumble, "can I come in?"

"Yeah," I call back.

"Close the door," I tell her. "There's a draft." The door shuts behind her as the water soaks my hair.

"So?" she sings.

"It was perfect," I say simply.

"Where did you go? I want details!"

Part of me wants to feel annoyed, but talking, even _thinking_ about Brittany, is one of the best feelings in the world, so I entertain Quinn.

"We went to the Columbus Circle," I tell her. "It's actually really pretty at night."

"Oh my god," Quinn swoons. "Was it lit up?"

"Yeah, it was like blue or something."

"What did you do?" she asks.

"We talked. Then we made wishes. She has this tradition-"

"Oh my god," she says again. "That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. With coins?"

"Mhm," I say flatly. But my face is so wide from my smile.

"Then what?"

"Um, then we went in the fountain and danced-"

"You went in the fountain?!" She shrieks. "_You!_ You went in the fountain."

"Yes," I roll my eyes, annoyed it's so hard to believe I'd go in the fountain.

"You danced?"

"Mhm," I say again.

"Your fucking second date is cuter than anything I've ever experienced," she says.

I pour some shampoo in my hair and start scrubbing into my scalp.

"You know, I used to think that all the time," I say, suddenly serious. "I mean, when I dated Sam, there were _so _many romantic moments. He did the sweetest things, serenaded me and everything. But as romantic as I knew it was, it never _felt _romantic. Now everything feels romantic. Everything," I say.

There's a short silence as I let the water fall onto my head, rinsing some of the shampoo out.

"I want to hug you so badly right now," Quinn says quietly.

"Ew, please don't," I laugh. She laughs too.

"I'm so happy for you," she says again.

"Thanks."

"So where'd you go after?"

"Well, actually, Rachel helped her get us Kurt and Blaine's place." I'm glad the curtain is separating us, because even bringing it up is heating my face up.

"Whaaaaaat?" Quinn squeals.

"Yeah, you know, so we could be alone. And also, the beach set-up-"

"Oh my gosh! She's so cute!"

"I know," I agree.

There's a long pause. Long enough for me to lather on conditioner, wash my body, and begin to rinse some of it out.

"So do you guys like, you know, _do_ stuff?" Quinn asks so softly.

"Are you effing me?"

"What?" Quinn asks.

"She's my _girlfriend,_" I remind her.

"I know, I just- I don't know, this is new to me." Her voice is quiet, nervous even.

"Well if you want to know how lady sex works, use the internet," I bite. I'm not mad, though. I get that she's curious. And part of me's happy she asked it. If I had gone on a date with a guy, no doubt Quinn would have asked how far we went or what we did. So I guess really, she's being a good friend.

"Sorry," she mumbles.

"It's okay," I say light enough for her to know I'm not mad.

"So," she says again. "Is Brittany the first girl you've liked?"

"_Really_ like," I say.

"What do you mean _really_ like?"

"I've never liked a girl like _this._ I mean, I've never liked anyone like this."

"So how did you know then? That you were gay?"

"I think I could just feel it," I try to explain. The water begins to get a little cold so I turn the nob further left to heat it up. "I never _felt_ it with a guy. And I thought it was the guys. But I think I always knew it wasn't the problem. _I _was the problem."

"You're not a problem," she tries to correct me.

"Q," I laugh, "I'm not questioning anymore, you don't have to give me a pep talk."

"Right," she says. "Sorry."

"I think at some point I just knew I found more and more girls attractive, and fewer and fewer guys. And I mean _attractive_. Not in the way, you know, _you_ find them attractive."

"I get it," she says.

"So, like, girl wise, any at McKinley?"

"Did you find any guys at McKinley attractive? What kind of question is that?" I joke. Honestly though, I'm just getting a little nervous at where the conversation is headed and I'm trying to cut it off.

I turn the water off and pull the towel off the rack, drying my body.

"Do you think we can invite everyone over tonight? So Brit and I can try to tell them about us?"

"Yes!" she squeals. "Tonight? You want to?"

"I think we should," I say, wrapping the towel around me and pulling the curtain away. "Could you invite everyone for me though? We can get take out or something after I'm done work."

"I'll take care of it all! You just go to work!"

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

_Just finished work_ I type out. _Did Quinn call you guys? She said she'd get everyone together._

I send the text to Brittany as I leave the restaurant.

"Bye-bye!" Henri calls out.

"Yeah, see ya," I mutter as the door swings behind me.

_I'm already here waiting for you :) _Brittany texts back. My legs start moving a little faster after I read her text. I swear I make it home in record time.

I push the door open with tons of force, ready to see Brittany. I'm shocked to see everyone crowded around our couches. Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Sam. Rachel and Brittany. Quinn.

I knew they were all gonna be here at some point, but thinking about seeing Brittany distracted me I guess.

"Oh, hey," I say when they all turn to face me.

"Santana!" Kurt calls out. He jumps to his feet and embraces me in a giant hug. I laugh, remembering his conversation about me this morning.

"Hey. Hey guys," I say to everyone. Quinn smiles and I give her a nod to thank her.

"Hey!" They all say. My eyes meet Brittany's and we both smile. Then Rachel waves at me, and I try my best to give her a grateful look for last night. Sam gets up to give me a hug, too.

"Hey," he says.

"Good to see you," I smile.

"You too," he says. "You want a drink? I brought a case."

"Yeah, sure," I say, realizing if I'm gonna go through with telling them the news, I'm gonna need some help. "Thanks."

I grab the beer and sit down next to Brittany and Rachel on the couch. Rachel hands me a plate and I realize Quinn already got takeout, too. Pizza and italian wings. I grab some wings and a slice and turn towards Brittany.

"How was class?" I ask.

"Good," she smiles. I missed that smile. "It was interpretive dance. Pretty fun! How was work?"

"Same old," I shrug.

"How's work going for you guys?" I say to Sam and Finn when I realize nobody else is talking to each other.

"Great," Finn smiles. He adjusts his body so he's leaning forward enough for me to see him behind Rachel.

"Yeah," Sam agrees. "Our boss loves us. The other two interns have been screwing up. The one guy came in thirty minutes late this morning because he overslept, and the other fucked up a delivery."

"Nice," I say.

"These wings are _so_ good!" Kurt says.

"I know," Finn agrees. "Where did you get them?" When I look at Finn, I notice Rachel's eating a salad. Quinn must have picked her up one. Vegans.

"Down the street," Quinn says. "I think it's called Anthony's Pizza? Puck and I went there and now I'm hooked."

"Aw, Puck," Kurt says.

"How is he?" Blaine asks.

"Good," Quinn says, but we all notice how her face softens. "His business is really picking up," she tries to smile.

"Is he gonna visit again soon?" Kurt asks.

"I hope," she says, her face lightening up a little. "We're trying to split the costs so within a few weeks we should have enough."

Sam rubs his hand against Quinn's back.

"At least you have us!" Kurt sings.

"Yeah," Quinn laughs with a slight eye roll.

"What are you guys doing this weekend?" Kurt asks. "I think we should go out together. All of us."

I shrug. "Sounds fun."

"I'm in," Brittany adds.

"Me too," Sam adds, smiling at Brittany. Suddenly, I want to tell everyone. Right now. I know Sam's not really flirting, but thinking about him coming onto Brittany in anyway makes me feel possessive. He has to know Brittany is mine. No, he _deserves_ to know.

"Look," I say in an exasperated tone. It's enough to make everyone turn to me, slightly concerned. "There's a reason I wanted everyone to come here tonight."

"Quinn invited us," Kurt corrects me.

"Shut it," I say. "I have to tell you guys something."

"Already?" Quinn whispers. I nod. I feel Brittany's hand land gently on my knee. I notice it's low enough on my leg to avoid any questioning looks. Rachel looks over to me and nods supportively.

Feeling the guys eyes on me, all the courage I just had seems to wither away. Still, I know I have to tell them. I want to.

"There's something that I- I've wanted to tell you all for awhile. And some things have happened, and it's just. It's time to tell you."

I can see the confusion on their faces. I take a deep breath and Brittany whispers in my ear.

"I'm right here." I nod and start again.

"I- I don't want you to be mad-" I trail off.

"You can do it," Rachel says softly.

"Wait," Kurt interrupts. "Do you guys already know?" He asks, looking around at the girls. They all look at me, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah," I say, and they all nod. "They're my girls!" I try to say.

"Since when am I not included in that group?" Kurt jokes. I know he isn't really mad, but it still makes me uneasy. After the way Quinn originally reacted, I don't want anyone else feeling like that.

"Do you want me to tell you or not?" I snap. Brittany's grip tightens on my knee and I immediately relax.

"Sorry," I mutter to no one in particular.

I sigh one last time. My heart is pounding and my stomach is in a knot. I decide the best way to go about it is come right out and say it. Then I can explain it after with less questions.

"I-I'm gay," I say, simply put. The second the words leave my mouth, the knot unties, but my heart pounds harder.

I look up and see the complete shock on everyone's faces. Kurt lets out a breathy noise as his mouth drops wide open into a shocked smile. Blaine's eyebrows are arched as he looks at me with a titled head. Finn's mouth is just hanging open, looking completely goofy. Then I see Sam. The one I _really_ cared about. His mouth is parted slightly and his eyes are wide. But not too wide. Almost like he's too paralyzed to _really_ move.

"What?!" Kurt finally says, breaking the silence.

"There's more," I say, closing my eyes.

"What? What more?" He adds.

"I'm gay," I say again. "I'm gay, and Brittany is my girlfriend." I open my eyes as Brittany's hand shoots towards mine as she interlocks our fingers. She smiles timidly at them all as their faces turn to even more shock. Kurt's mouth get's even wider, if that's possible. Blaine's eyes bug out. Finn's jaw stays dropped. And Sam looks like he saw a ghost. A real, live ghost.

Kurt lets out a noise that almost sounds like a laugh, but I know it's just surprise.

"Wait, what?" Kurt says again. I look up at him and he's smiling at me like a crazy person. He looks over to Rachel who nods, as if to confirm it.

"No," he repeats.

"Yes," I say.

"Congratulations!" Blaine says, forcing me to smile. It's such a Blaine response. Still, it's very welcomed.

"Thanks," I say.

"Wait, so you're gay?" Kurt says again, clearly trying to grasp this.

"Yes," I roll my eyes. I hold up my hand in Brittany's. "Girlfriend," I say again.

"Since when?" He says.

"Since when what?" I ask.

"How long have you been dating?"

"Two days?" I ask Brittany. She nods. "Two days," I say again. Kurt begins laughing, and then he starts clapping.

"Oh, my gosh. He quickly jumps to his feet and runs over to embrace me. Then Brittany.

"I knew I liked you more recently. It's because you're team gay! Oh my gosh," he laughs. "It all makes sense." I roll my eyes, but I can't help but laugh. I'm suddenly super glad Kurt's here. By the speechless look on Sam's face, I feel like this would have been super awkward without Kurt here.

"I'm so happy for you," he says more seriously. "We will _definitely _be talking about this one later, though."

I nod with a smile.

"What about you Brittany?" He asks softer. "Are you gay?"

Brittany shrugs but stays completely calm. As if these questions don't phase her at all.

"I don't think so," she says simply. "I mean, I guess I am," she smiles. "But I don't think it matters."

"Me neither," Blaine says with a smile.

I look over at Sam whose still staring, almost emotionless.

"Are you guys, um, okay with it?" I ask Sam and Finn. Mostly Sam, though.

"Of course!" Finn quickly comes in. "You know we love you no matter what. Do you think glee club taught us nothing?" He tries to joke. I laugh, but only because of the tension I'm feeling looking at Sam.

"Yeah," Sam finally says after all eyes fall on him. "Of course it's okay. I'm just a little, uh, shocked, that's all." He tries to smile, but it just looks like his facial muscles are twitching.

"Oh my God," Kurt repeats to himself over and over again. He keeps shaking his head. "You and Brittany. I just- it's perfect!"

I smile a little, and I see Brittany's face light up, probably at the approval.

"You okay?" Brittany leans in and whispers to me. I nod a little.

"Just Sam," I whisper. She looks up at him as he stares down at the floor. "Thank you for being here, though."

"Of course," she smiles. "You did great. How does it feel?"

"Better," I nod. And it does. For the most part. The hidings done. But now I still have to figure some other stuff out. Sam is one of those things.

"You okay?" I ask. Brittany smiles and nods, shrugging my question off as if I'm the only important thing right now.

Looking at everyone, I can tell they have a billion questions on their minds. But they all have different relationships with me. And I think they don't know who can hear what questions and who can't. And they probably think some of it should be private. So they're staying pretty quiet and generalizing everything.

"Thanks you guys," I manage to say. "For being understanding and supportive." They all nod and Kurt sits on the coffee table, grabbing my hands.

"We have to talk about this more," he smiles. "We can do lunch?"

Behind Kurt's head, I see Sam robotically stand from his chair and turn towards the kitchen. Either nobody else sees him, or they let him go. He walks into the kitchen staring down at the floor.

"Um, yeah," I tell Kurt. "Sounds good."

I lean over to Brittany. "I think I'm gonna go talk to Sam. That okay?"

"Of course!" she says. "I'll be right here." As I stand up, Kurt switches his attention to Brittany.

"Tell me _everything!_" he squeals.

I try to walk to the kitchen, but Quinn grabs my wrist in her hand.

"You okay?" she asks concerned.

"Yeah," I mutter, trying to see into the kitchen.

"Hey," she says, giving me a little tug. "He'll be alright," she shrugs. I nod a little and look down at her.

"I'm proud of you," she smiles.

"Thanks," I say, giving her the best smile I can manage. I should feel great right now. And I do. I don't have to hide anymore. Well, not from my friends, anyway. But thinking about any pain I caused Sam is making this so much harder than I ever imagined. And he hasn't even rejected me. I almost feel like it would have been easier for him to just walk out on me, completely furious. But he didn't. He just looked sad.

Quinn releases me from her hand and I finally make it into the kitchen. But he's not there. There's two other openings in the kitchen, but he couldn't have gone far.

"Sam?" I call. I hadn't realized how shaky my voice was till I was alone with it. "Sam?"

No answer.

I slide the door to our balcony open, but he's not there either.

My phone vibrates and I instinctually pull it out and answer at the careless thought that it could be Sam. I don't even bother checking the caller.

"Hello?" I stammer as I press the phone to my ear. The cool night air hits me harder than I expected. I'm about to step back inside when the voice freezes my bones.

"Santana," she says. I can hear the smile on her lips.

"_Gabriella_," I breath.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hi guys! Thanks again for all the support and messages. You guys are the best. Hope you're still liking it!**

**Thanks for being so nice and patient :) Let me know what you think! **

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	24. Crash Into Me

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Brittany and Santana wake up from their date and leave Kurt and Blaine's apartment_

_-When they leave the hear the boys and hide under the staircase where they overhear Kurt saying how much he likes Santana_

_-Quinn wants to hear about their date so she sits in the bathroom while Santana showers_

_-Quinn starts to ask about Santana's previous crushes and Santana changes the subject by asking Quinn to invite everyone over to tell them the news_

_-After work, the group is waiting for Santana at her apartment and she tells them all that she is gay and dating Brittany_

_-Everyone is super supportive but Sam is the most unresponsive_

_-Sam dissapears and Santana goes to follow him but he dissapeared into some room_

_-Just as she's about to find him, Gabriella calls_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

My heart stops cold as I do my best to keep the phone from slipping through my shaky fingers. Why the fuck is she calling? I have enough going on right now. Sam's clearly hurting and I have to find him.

"This isn't the right time," I say, making my voice as even as possible. I'm even surprised at how steady I sound.

"C'mon," she says, her voice piercing my ears. "Don't you have any time for your family anymore?" I want to snap back that she isn't my real family.

"I'm busy right now," I say, peaking my head around the corner back towards the living room. Kurt is still giggling like a school boy as he interrogates Brittany. But I don't see Sam.

Gabriella ignores me. "So when are we hanging out?" she asks me. Her tone is sharp, though. Not the way you should sound when you really ask someone to hang out with you.

"I'm pretty busy," I mumble.

"Too busy for me?" she asks. Duh. Who the fuck does she think she is?

"I have a lot to do," I say, annoyed with this conversation.

"What, like your _girlfriend?_" she bites. My heart stops and I feel sick to my stomach. For a minute, I actually think I might throw up. The way she says it hurts my ears. It's nothing like the way Brittany says it.

It's official. She knows. She saw what Brittany and I were doing and she was smart enough to see in my eyes that it wasn't just _something to do_. It's _real_.

But I freeze up. Freak out. I immediately think of my family. My Dad. I think of her telling him out of spite before I get the chance. That's it. That's the end of us.

"She's not my _girlfriend_," I quickly bite back. Something about saying the words out loud makes me uneasy. Like even the thought of it not being true could kill me. But I don't stop.

"I saw you two," Gabriella says.

"Oh like you've never kissed a girl," I say. I even roll my eyes. Gabriella doesn't defend herself, though, and I know I've got her. "Exactly. I can have some fun if I want. People get carried away all the time," I say.

"Yeah," Gabriella finally says after a long pause. Something about her tone tells me she doesn't completely believe me, but I know she doesn't really have enough proof to do anything about it.

A noise behind me startles me, and I turn to see Brittany, eyes soft as a puppy staring at me. _Shit. _I start shaking my head immediately, hoping she didn't hear what I was saying. _Fucking Gabriella_. Brittany doesn't look mad, or even confused. She just looks hurt, I think. I quickly pull the phone from my ear.

"It- it's not what you think," I stammer. "It's Gabriella." Brittany's face softens, and she nods a little, but part of her looks even sadder. Only this time I think it's for me, not her.

"Well, wanna grab lunch soon?" I hear Gabriella's faint voice on the phone. I'm about to decline the offer once more when she speaks up again. "Oh, hold on, San, your Dad's beeping in on the other line."

Her voice is harsh, like she knows it's going to strike a nerve. "Actually, I'll just call you later, this could take awhile."

I hear her hang up, and I suddenly wish more than anything that she was right here in front of me so I could punch her square in the face.

"I-I'm sorry," I plead. "I just-"

"No," she says softly with a sad smile. "It's okay." I know she means it, too. "I get it. You don't have to explain." Still, I feel like shit.

"You okay?" She asks. I nod. But I'm not. I want to cry. And not the silent type of cry. The kind that makes my chest shake and my cheeks salty. The kind that feels weirdly therapeutic.

She must be able to tell because she pulls me into a hug. I let my forehead press into her chest and I do my best to keep the tears back.

"You did great back there," she says again. Her voice is so calming. She could be reciting the alphabet right now and I swear it would make me feel better. It helps that her hands are rubbing up and down my back. "Did you talk to Sam?" She asks softly. I shake my head against her.

"I didn't find him," I mutter.

"Did you check any of the rooms?"

"Not yet," I admit. Brittany and I stand there hugging for a few moments longer before I pull away.

"I have to talk to him," I decide. Brittany nods and I lean up to kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you," I smile. She nods and directs her head towards the door behind me, almost like she already knows that's where he is.

I turn towards the spare room, a room I forgot existed until now. There's literally a small sofa and a table, covered in all the junk that didn't fit anywhere else in our apartment. Before pushing the door open, I take a deep breath, preparing for the worst. I'm pleasantly surprised when Sam looks up at me and his eyes are dry. His face is soft, too. He even offers me a soft smile. No teeth, though. And in his hand is a bottle of tequila. He has a coke on the table in front of him.

"Hey," I manage to get out.

"Hey," he responds. As I walk over to him, he scoots over a little on the couch to give me some room.

Neither of us say anything for a moment and Sam holds the tequila out towards me with a raised eyebrow. I quickly grab the bottle and take a swig. My throat burns and my eyes get cloudy as tears come to the surface. I immediately regret taking a sip as I start coughing. Sam giggles a little and hands me his coke. I take a sip. It soothes my throat a little, but not much. It almost burns more.

"You okay?" I finally ask. Sam shrugs and pours some tequila in his coke as he takes another sip. Maybe that's why the coke didn't help too much, there was probably some tequila in there, too. My face scrunches up a little as I feel the drink in my throat again.

The tears start to well up again, but this time it's not from the drink.

"I'm so sorry," I say weakly. "I- I never meant to hurt you."

"So you knew then?" he asks. "This whole time? You knew?" his voice isn't accusatory, though. It's not harsh, either. He's genuinely curious. Like he's trying to figure it all out.

"Not completely," I admit. He nods, but he's not looking at me. He's looking at his hands gripping the bottle.

"I really wasn't sure, not until I met Brittany," I say. I swear I almost see Sam smile a little. "I- I really cared about you," I say. "Still do," I add. "That's why I broke up with you," I start to explain. "You were the first guy I _really_ cared about. I felt too bad lying to you about how I was feeling. I didn't want to end up hurting you worse."

Sam nods in acknowledgement, but he stays quiet. I do too, for awhile.

"Are you mad?" I finally ask, unable to read him. I think he thinks for a little. Then he shakes his head no, and I swear my chest loosens immediately.

"No," he says. "No, not mad. It's just- it's a lot to process." I nod, understanding that. "You could have told me," he says, but then realizes what he's saying. "I mean, not that I don't get why you didn't. I just mean, I would have understood. I understand it though," he says. His response is somewhat refreshing.

"I'm sorry," I say again, not sure of what else to say.

"You were my first love, you know," he says, as if that's supposed to make me feel better. When he sees me tense up, he lets out a breathy laugh.

"Relax, San. I'm okay," he smiles. "I mean, yeah you just took the two hottest girls in New York off the market, but I'm happy for you." He elbows me playfully and I start to blush.

"Thank you," I smile. "I'm glad you finally know," I say, "now you can stop hitting on my girlfriend." Sam laughs again and looks at me bashfully.

"Really sorry about that." I lean in and hug Sam and give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," I say again. He smiles and nods and helps me to my feet.

"I knew you seemed happier," he says. "And if I can't have her, I'm glad you can," he winks.

After Sam and I return to the living room, things seem weirdly normal. Like they don't even remember I just told them I was gay. They're all carrying their plates to the kitchen and beginning to clean up. The only person who seems to be affected is Kurt, who keeps looking in my direction, scrunching his nose, and shaking his head at me with the cheesiest grin. The guys help us clean up and Kurt sets up a time tomorrow for Brittany and I to meet him for lunch. Sam makes sure we know he isn't mad, just trying to absorb it all. And then they leave.

"That went well, right?" Quinn confirms.

"Right," I laugh. "Thanks again," I say.

"Anytime," she says. Rachel flops down on the couch and I follow Brittany to the open couch. As soon as she sits down, I let myself cuddle into her as I sprawl across the couch. I rest my head down on Brittany's lap and she runs her hands through my hair.

"Aw," Rachel coos as Quinn sits beside her.

"How was your talk?" Brittany asks softly. She knows Sam seems pretty okay since she saw him and me on good terms, but she doesn't know any of the details.

"Better than I thought," I confess.

"Then why do you seem so down?" Quinn asks. I hadn't even realized she was listening. I turn my head on Brittany's lap and see Quinn and Rachel staring at me inquisitively.

"Gabriella called," I sigh.

"_What_?" they both squeal at the same time.

"Yeah," I say, looking back up at Brittany. She's looking down at me with the sad eyes again.

"What the hell does she want?" Quinn asks.

"I have no clue," I admit. "She wanted to hang out though. And I wasn't having it. But she- she kind of- she called Brittany my girlfriend."

"How does she know?" Rachel asks.

"I don't know! But I panicked! And I lied and said we were just messing around for fun. And I called her out for kissing girls before, but I know she can tell it's more than that. On top of hurting Brittany's feelings, I stepped back into the closet."

"Hey, stop," Brittany says, leaning down to kiss my forehead. A small butterfly flutters free in my stomach. "It's okay," she whispers in my ear.

"Why didn't you just tell her?" Rachel asks. Rachel doesn't really know too much about Gabriella.

"She's trying to use it as blackmail for something," I tell her. "She's going to tell my Dad. I'm just not sure what she wants yet."

"That's fucked up," Quinn adds.

"She hung up because my Dad was beeping in on the other end. He probably wasn't, but she just wanted me to know that he was actually talking to her. Unlike me," I mutter. Brittany locks her hand with mine and some of the pain I'm feeling eases away.

"What are you gonna do?" Quinn asks.

"I guess I'm gonna meet up with her."

The room falls silent as I announce I'm giving in. I can feel all their eyes on me, but no one is saying anything.

"No offense," Brittany says softly, and we all turn to face her. Well, I just look up. "But you don't deserve to have anyone in your life who doesn't love you for you. Or makes you feel like shit."

That's all she says. And then she's quiet again. And so is everyone else. I think they're waiting to see how I react. Brittany looks super nervous and I can see her swallowing over and over again.

The thing is, I know she's not just talking about Gabriella. She's referring to my Dad, too.

I've heard that a lot of times. People say that all the time. My mom even says it. But something about hearing Brittany say it in her soft voice hits me.

"You mean my Dad," I say out loud. I see Brittany's face heat up, like she said something wrong.

"No- I just- anyone. I mean anyone. I know it's hard because maybe that applies to your Dad, but-"

"It's okay," I smile, trying to calm her down.

"He is my Dad, though," I say.

"So is mine," Quinn says. "Doesn't mean I talk to him." I look up at Quinn and for the first time in awhile I hear the pain in her voice. I remember she doesn't talk to her Dad. When Quinn got pregnant, he kicked her out. And he wouldn't talk to her until she gave the baby up for adoption. Then he wanted everything to be okay again. But Quinn didn't. She said anyone who could get rid of her that quickly isn't worth it. I can't believe I forgot about that. I suddenly realize how strong Quinn is. That's one of the hardest I can ever imagine doing. And she did it. And truth is, she really has been happier since.

"You don't-" Brittany starts to ask.

"No," Quinn shakes her head. "Not anymore."

"I'm sorry," she says.

"It's okay," Quinn says with a smile. And not a fake smile. A real smile. "Some things are for the better, even if they don't seem like it at the time."

I can feel everyone's eyes on me, as if this is some planned out lesson for me. But it's not. And we all know it's not. It's a strange coincidence that somehow fits perfectly with my life.

Have you ever felt yourself changing? Like something inside of you is altering. You can't always put your finger on exactly what it is, but you know something's different.

"I'm tired," I announce as I sit up from Brittany's lap. I feel everyone staring at me, as if I'm a wild bear and they're waiting to see if I'm going to maul them or simply walk the other way.

"Can you stay over?" I ask Brittany, ignoring the other girls. Brittany quickly nods a few times and stands up behind me. I hear her whisper something to Rachel, who quickly says "it's fine," and Brittany follows me to my room.

The second I get in my room, I pull my shirt over my head, unlatch my bra, and pull a baggy t-shirt over my head. I pull of my pants and climb into my bed.

"You okay?" Brittany asks quietly as she climbs next to me.

"Mhm," I say. But I'm not really sure. I kind of feel like a robot. Like I'm not present in my body. It's kind of like I'm watching myself sit here.

"You can borrow some clothes," I tell her. She listens and puts on a t-shirt of mine that isn't as big on her. She climbs into bed beside me and opens her arm for me. I crawl towards her and rest my head on her chest. She lets her fingernails drag down my bag and it's so comforting. I forgot how much I love having my back scratched.

"What are you thinking about?" Brittany finally asks.

"My Dad," I admit.

"What about him?" she asks.

"That you're right. And Quinn's right. Quinn's living proof."

We sit there quietly again, as her nails trace up and down my back a little longer.

"I can't let a bitch like Gabriella dictate my life. And if my Dad can't love me for me, do I really want him to love me at all?"

Brittany doesn't say anything, she just kisses the top of my head. I can feel her smiling against me, too.

"I have to do something," I say, quickly sitting up. Brittany's startled, but she stays quiet.

I stand up and walk over to my desk, picking up my phone. I hit the favorites button and quickly hit the first contact: Mom.

The phone rings twice before she picks up. I think she might have been asleep, but I don't care.

"Mom?" I say.

"San, honey, are you okay?" She asks frantically. I definitely woke her up.

"Huh? Yeah, sorry. I'm fine. I just, I have a question."

"Right now?" She asks.

"Yes," I say. "Ahora, Mami."

"Okay," she sighs.

"Will you love me no matter what?"

"Honey-"

"Mami, answer me," I say sternly. "Will you love me no matter what?"

"Mi hija, of course. You know that. I'll always love you."

"Always," I repeat, but it's not really for her. It's for me.

"Always," she confirms.

"What about Daddy?" I ask. She doesn't say anything for a minute. I can tell she's confused.

"Of course he loves you."

"Mom, if he ever stopped loving me, would it be wrong for me to stop loving him, too?"

"Santana, what is this about?"

"Mom, please, just answer me. If Dad were to treat me like he did before, and have no trouble deserting me, would it be bad if I just stopped caring? If I let him go?" My mom pauses for a long time. I'm not sure if she's thinking, or deciding if she can be honest.

"You are entitled to feel however you feel. And you have to do what's best for you, always."

"But you'll always love me?" I ask again. I don't realize I'm crying until Brittany's standing right beside me, wiping my tears away. My Mom can't tell I'm crying because it's not in my voice. It's just in my eyes.

"Always," she promises.

"Thank you," I say.

"Santana," my Mom says, more serious this time. "Has he spoken to you?"

"Not yet," I admit.

"I'm so sorry," she says with a shaky voice, and it's clear she's crying. "You don't deserve that, ever. I just don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

"How he could treat you like that. And stop speaking to his daughter, under any circumstance. Yet he still pays for half of your schooling-"

"Wait," I stop. "He's still paying?"

"Yes," she says. "As long as you're taking academic classes, he is going to continue paying."

"Can you afford it?" I ask, afraid to hear the answer. "You know, without him?"

"I- I'm sure I could manage _something,_" she says after a long pause. "Some more loans or something. But he's certainly a help," she says. That means no. That means it would be way too hard for her without him. But she's too damn proud to admit that.

My heart drops. What if I my Dad doesn't accept me, and he stops paying? Then what?

"Honey, what is this _really_ about?" My Mom asks.

"I'm sorry," I breath. "I'm really tired and just stressed. I'll call you tomorrow. I want you to visit soon. Or I'll visit. I just- I have a lot to catch you up on."

"I can't wait."

"Thanks Mami, I love you."

"Love you too, baby. Forever," she says once more.

I hang up the phone and almost instantly collapse into Brittany's arms. She grips me tighter as we both feel my knees give out.

"San," she coos. "shh."

She helps me onto the edge of the bed and my crying becomes audible. She rubs my back, smooths my hair, and cuddles me close until my crying subsides a little.

"Talk to me," she whispers. I take a deep breath and hear the unevenness in my breath.

"I- you really were right. If my Dad doesn't love me enough to _really_ love me, then he isn't worth the pain. And I was really starting to come around to the idea of telling him about me. About us. This way, Gabriella couldn't use me in whatever way she's planning, and I could either have an accepting father or lose an asshole one."

"What happened?" she asks.

"My mom, I know she'll be okay with me. I always knew that. But- but my Dad is helping her pay for college. If he doesn't accept me, and I cut him out of my life, then she's screwed. _I'm _screwed. But my Mom really is. I can't do that to her."

Brittany pulls me closer, understanding my dilemma. I don't know how long I cry against her, but it's long enough for my eyes to feel too weak to stay open. They hurt. Burn, even.

"Maybe he'll be okay with it all," she says softly.

"I think that's why I'm crying," I confess. "Because I know he won't be."

Brittany lets me fall onto her as she drags me further onto the bed. She pulls my head back onto her and covers me with the comforter. I sniffle a few times until my nose is clear and I smell Brittany's sweet scent. It's so fresh. If a smell could be cold, that's what she'd be. Brisk and cold. But not an uncomfortable cold. The kind of cold that hits you right when you step out onto the street after you've been packed inside a hot theater with thousands of other people. The first breeze of air you feel, that kind of cold.

Her strong hand rubs up and down my arm, and I know it sounds silly, but it's like she's ironing out my sadness. It's like her touch is magic.

"You deserve love," Brittany says, and then I start crying again. It's the silent kind, though. I'm not sure if she knows I'm crying, but the tears soaking through her shirt will give me away soon enough.

Honestly, before Brittany, I didn't think I deserved love. I really didn't. And I didn't realize I thought that, but I did. I was a bitch. And I hurt people. Why would I deserve to be loved? But here I am, in Brittany's arms, and she's telling me I deserve love. And I believe her.

I lift my head up and look at the flawlessly beautiful girl.

"Aw, babe," she breaths, bringing her thumb up to my cheeks. She wipes away my tears once more. I don't know what gives me the chills, her thumb against my skin or her calling me 'babe'. Maybe it's just her. Everything about her.

I lean forward and softly take Brittany's lips in mine. I was fighting for breath before, but I'm literally breathless now. I shudder as she kisses me back and something hits me. Something besides the bundle of butterflies banging in my stomach.

I pull away in shock.

"What?" she asks, almost looking guilty.

"I- I've just, I've never felt this _good_ while feeling this bad," I say. Brittany's eyes twinkle. Sparkle, really. She smiles back at me, confirming exactly what I'm feeling.

I think it's been happening since I met her. It started out slowly at first, but right now, it's happening all at once. I'm falling. No, I knew I was falling. Well, maybe I was parachuting at first, but then it was just a free fall. Scary, but amazing. And filled with tons of adrenaline. Yeah, that's it. I fell. Crashed, really. I crashed hard.

Brittany leans in an kisses me once more and I know it.

I'm in love with her.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hi guys! I'm sorry this is short, I just really wanted to get something out for you guys! I'm in the middle of applying to colleges AND soccer season so I'm swamped, but I really enjoy writing this and hearing what you have to say.**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I'm almost at a thousand! It's unbelievable and you guys are amazing. **

**Thanks again for everything! Let me know what you think! Xoxo**

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	25. Fangirl

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana talks to Gabriella on the phone and she accuses Santana of having a girlfriend. Santana denies it immediately. Brittany overhears but quickly understands when she hears it's Gabriella_

_-She asks to grab lunch but gets off the line because Santana's father is calling her_

_-Santana finds Sam and learns he isn't mad, just needs some time to digest the news_

_-Kurt sets up a lunch for him and the girls_

_-Santana is hurting because her father isn't speaking to her, but Quinn reminds her that she doesn't talk to her father either and is much happier now_

_-Santana asks Brittany to stay over and Brittany helps Santana realize that she doesn't want people in her life who don't care about her_

_-Santana calls her mom for reassurance, and her mom reveals that her father is still helping her pay for Santana's tuition_

_-Brittany comforts a crying Santana and Santana realizes she's in love_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

Brittany's alarm goes off and I feel her arm reach out from under me to silence it. Keeping my head on her chest, I tighten my grip on stomach. Without saying anything, Brittany plants a kiss on the top of my head and I break out into a smile.

"Morning," she mutters.

"Good morning," I giggle at her croaky voice. I've been up for awhile, so my voice already smoothed out.

I've been up pretty much all night, actually. I got a few hours here and there, but my mind was going crazy. After I calmed down, it didn't take long for Brittany to doze off. I was fine with that, though, since my realization had me wanting some time to think.

_Love?_ Do I really feel that? It's been like, what, a month? But I know that's not why it's scary. Yeah, I haven't known her long. But what everyone used to tell me was right; when you know, you know. And I _know_.

The way I felt in her arms last night, I've _never_ felt that way. Ever. Not about anything or anyone. Nothing has given me that feeling, and I can't think of anything that would give me anything close to that. Except for her. It sounds crazy, and maybe that's why I couldn't sleep. Since when am I _that girl_. Am I crazy? Am I that teenage girl that swears she's gonna marry her boyfriend who ends up breaking up with her a week after her stupid declaration? God, I hope not. I can't be the only one feeling this, can I?

I decide I'm not crazy, but I can't tell if it's only for my sanity. Either way, sleeping was still difficult.

Between trying to grasp the concept of actually feeling something real for someone, and trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about my father, I couldn't shut my mind off. Brittany's steady heartbeat was the only thing that could calm me.

"How are you feeling?" Brittany asks.

"Better," I shrug, but I know my voice isn't convincing her. She keeps her lips pressed to my hair as her hand smooths up and down my arm.

"Your skin is so soft," Brittany whispers as her hand explores my arm some more. She is radiating heat and I want her to never stop touching me.

"I just wanna stay in bed all day," I say, snuggling deeper into her chest.

"We can," she says quickly.

"No," I smile. "You have class," I remind her, looking up at her messy blonde hair.

"I don't have to go," she whines.

"Brit," I laugh. "We can stay in bed another day. Plus, we're meeting Kurt for lunch, remember? So we'll only be apart for a little."

Brittany sighs, and as much as I want to stay in bed with her all day, I really don't wanna be the reason she misses a class. If she misses something big, I don't want her to feel any sort of resentment towards me.

"Okay," she mutters. I extend my neck far enough so I can take her lips in mine. It's a soft kiss, but it chills my spine. After I pull away, I lean in immediately, craving her taste again. I give her another soft kiss, her thinner bottom lip in between mine. As I pull away, Brittany lets out a soft hum. I smile up at her. As I'm about to lay my head back down on her chest, Brittany's arms wrap around my neck and she pulls my lips back against hers. She kisses me, still tender like before, but a little harder, too. Her hands slide down my sides, under the covers, until they land on my ass. She uses her hands to turn me so I'm completely on top of her stomach, and she lifts but up her body a little. I spread my legs so I'm straddling her waist and Brittany's hands return to my face. Her fingers run through my hair as her kisses get longer and harder. As my muscles start to clench a little, I press my center against her waist. I feel her smile against me as she readjusts our lips. I let my hand cup her neck and I suddenly want to taste that too. I pull my lips away from hers and drag them to her neck. As soon as I touch her skin, she throws her head back and allows me more room. But only for a second. Then her waist lifts up and I feel myself being rocked onto my back. Before I know it, Brittany is on top of me, giggling like a child. But she sure as hell doesn't look like a child. Even after just waking up, she looks hot. The kind that makes me want her immediately. I pull her down onto me as she adjusts her legs over me, similar to the way I had been on her. She kisses me again, and my stomach flips. She's rocking a lot, too. Way more than I was. Her body is moving up and down mine. My hands shoot down to her hips and I help them rock more. My fingers begin to tug at the waistband of her underwear when the sound of the door being shoved open makes us both jump.

"Oh my God," Quinn's voice booms. "I'm so sorry!" She says. Brittany and I look up at Quinn, who turned her back to us and is covering her eyes with her hands.

"I- I didn't know Brittany was still here, I- I'm sorry, I just wanted to check on you," she stammers. "I'll come back! Sorry!"

I don't know why, but I start giggling. Maybe I should be embarrassed or something, but in reality, Quinn seems way more embarrassed than either of us.

"It's okay," I laugh, trying to stop Quinn. But she's already gone.

"I'm sorry," Brittany breaths. We're both breathing pretty heavily.

"Don't be," I smile, giving her another kiss. I can tell she's taken aback a little, but she kisses me back.

"What time is it anyway?" I ask, looking over to Brittany's phone. "You should get going," I say, remembering her alarm just went off.

Brittany sighs, but I think she knows she's gonna lose the argument, so she stands up and finds her clothes from last night. She begins to change, and she doesn't bother turning around. When she pulls her shirt over her head and she doesn't have her bra on, my stomach twitches.

"Tease," I mutter with a giggle.

"What, like you sleep with a bra on?" I shrug, realizing she has a point. I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for Brittany to finish getting changed. Her body is so perfect. She clips her bra on and walks over to me. She straddles my legs again and sits on my lap, gently placing her arms around my neck.

"I'm not trying to be a tease," she says, pressing her forehead against mine. As hot as this is, I can't help but laugh.

"What?" she says.

"Then what do you think you're doing right now?" I joke, giving her a soft kiss.

"I'm not a tease if I'm giving you what you want," she smirks. My hands slide down her bare back.

"True," I say, "but not right now. You have to leave."

"I don't _have_ to," she smirks again. I feel like I'm catching onto her plan.

"Brit," I groan.

"Okay, okay," she laughs. "You're right. I have to go to class."

She hops off of me, pulls on her shirt, and I walk her to the door.

"I'll text you the address for lunch," I say as she pulls me into a hug. "Thanks again for last night," I say.

"Anytime," she smiles. "Sorry again about _Quinn,_" she says, whispering her name.

"Brit, it's fine," I laugh. I'm not sure why exactly it's fine, but I take it as a good sign. A sign that I'm way more ready to be open than I thought. Well, at least with my friends. It's a step.

"Bye," I smile, giving her a quick kiss.

"Bye-bye," she smiles, closing the door behind her.

I think about changing before I walk into Quinn's room, but I decide I'm being silly. I knock lightly before pushing the door open.

"That's what knocking sounds like," I joke. Quinn's face reddens again and she immediately begins apologizing.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know she was here!"

"Q, it's okay," I laugh, walking over to sit on her bed. She's leaning against her headboard and I sit cross legged across from her. "Sorry you had to see that," I shrug.

"No!" Quinn quickly interjects. "It's fine- I mean it's your room. You should be able to do whatever you want," she says.

"Or whoever," I joke, trying to ease the tension. She laughs and we both relax.

"How are you?" Quinn asks once we both calm down.

"Confused," I shrug. Quinn stays quiet as she tries to read my face. But my face stays frozen. People used to tell me I was hard to read, but Quinn's always been really good at it.

"What happened?" she asks.

"Was it hard losing your Dad?" I ask her, ignoring her question.

"Hardest thing I've ever done," she says, and I swear it feels like a knife is lodged in my chest. "But," she says, "it was also one of the easiest. If that makes any sense."

"No," I quickly say, because it doesn't. Quinn lets out a breathy laugh.

"It killed me to lose my Dad. Well, it killed me to lose who the person I _thought_ he was. It killed me to know that my own father would actually disown me for any reason. I wanted him in my life _so_ badly. I would have done anything for him to accept me. But then when I gave the baby up, and the 'problem' was gone, he was ready to love me again. I didn't realize it till then, but I'm so glad I did."

"Realize what?" I ask after Quinn stops talking.

"That I didn't want someone in my life that didn't love me unconditionally. I have so many people that _will_ love me unconditionally, I don't need someone who doesn't filling up space."

"Even family?" I ask, my voice starting to sound weaker.

"Blood is thick," she says, "but blood doesn't make you family."

Quinn's words give me chills, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to cry. But I've cried enough recently so I do my best to hold the tears back.

"Yeah, thanks," I say.

"So what happened?" Quinn asks again. I take a deep breath before I start to explain.

"Well after what you said last night, I really wanted to tell my Dad. You know, about me and Brittany. This way, Gabriella wouldn't have anything over me. And then, he'd either accept me or not. But I could get past it and be happy."

"Yes!" Quinn says, clearly proud of me.

"But then I called my Mom." I don't bother explaining that my Mom would be okay with me and Brittany, because Quinn has known my Mom forever. "And she- she kind of reminded me that my Dad is splitting tuition with her. And if I ruin my relationship with my Dad, there's no doubt in my mind that he'll stop paying. And that screws my Mom. She doesn't deserve that," I say with a strained voice.

"Neither do you," Quinn says.

"What am I supposed to do?" I beg Quinn for some sort of answer. For the first time in awhile, Quinn looks stumped.

"Why is life so complicated," I groan. Quinn tries to smile at me, but I can see her deep in thought.

"It's gonna work out," she says softly. "What about Gabriella?"

"She hasn't called me back yet," I tell her.

"If she does, stall for as long as you can. Give yourself a couple of days. I have a few ideas. Precautions, I guess."

"Like what?"

"Don't you have lunch with Kurt today?"

"Yeah," I roll my eyes a little. I'm not mad, though. I like Kurt. I just know he's gonna be fangirling the entire lunch.

"Go get ready for that. You can meet me after and I'll show you what I'm thinking." I look at her, a little curious and concerned.

"Go!" she smiles. "Have fun!"

"Thanks," laugh, giving Quinn a hug before I leave. "You're the best."

"Love you," she smiles.

"You too."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"There she is," Kurt opens his arms when he sees me. I try to act annoyed, but I can't fight the smile from my face.

"Hey Hummel," I laugh, hugging him.

"Where's Brittany?" he asks.

"She's meeting us here," I smile, thinking about her. "She had class."

"Good," he says as he grabs the door for me. "I have some questions for her," he smirks.

I roll my eyes as the hostess seats us in the back booth. The other half of the restaurant is overflowing with people, so we're the second group to be put in this room, making us pretty isolated.

"This place reminds me of Breadstix, that's why I picked it."

"I guess," I shrug. "Nothing compares though." Still, I appreciate Kurt trying to make me happy.

"I know," he laughs. "But their breadsticks are pretty good."

The waitress comes over with two waters and we tell her a third is going to be joining us and she leaves to grab another water.

"Where's Blaine?" I ask, suddenly realizing his other half isn't here.

"He's meeting with his college advisor for next year, trying to figure out a schedule."

"Is he excited?"

"I think so," Kurt smiles.

"Hello!" Brittany sings as she enters the room. My face lights up as she slides into the booth next to me.

"Hi Kurt," she smiles. Then she turns to me and, without thinking, plants a quick kiss on my lips. By the time she pulls away, I'm red in the face.

"I thought you were joking," Kurt says as he shakes his head. "I mean, when you first said it, I thought you were making some big joke."

"Nope," I shrug, pointing to me. "Gay."

Kurt and Brittany laugh a little.

"How? When? I just, have you been dating girls for awhile?"

I nudge my shoulder into Brittany's. "She's my first," I smile.

"Have you known?"

I explain the same thing I've been explaining to everyone once more. I tell him about Rachel figuring it out and he feigns pissed.

"How did that hell did she figure it out? I just thought you were a bitch,"

"I am," I laugh. Kurt laughs too but immediately begins questioning me again.

"So when you met Brittany, you knew for sure?"

Part of me is nervous to answer this question because I'm worried about revealing more than I should. I've been honest with Brittany and upfront about everything, but I don't wanna say something I haven't told her yet.

"I mean, I don't think I _knew_ exactly what I was feeling was what I was feeling, but it didn't take long to figure out."

Kurt's literally swooning over us, and as I finish my sentence, Brittany slips her hand into mine. The waitress brings the third water and some breadsticks.

"When did you know?"

"I was attracted to her right away," I say. "Have you seen her dance?"

Kurt laughs. "Even _I _was attracted to her." Brittany blushes, but it's true.

"Then when we watched the O.C.," I say to Brittany. The conversation has changed to me talking to her. "When we cuddled. And then when I saw you cry," I say, referring to the anniversary of her Mom's passing, "I wanted to protect you so badly. Then when we kissed," I shrug, "no matter how drunk you were, that sealed it for me."

I forget Kurt is there until he squeals.

"Oh my gosh."

"Shut up," I laugh, realizing how sappy I'm being. I'm gonna change the subject when Kurt asks Brittany. I kind of want to hear this.

"What about you? When did you know?"

"Pretty similar," she shrugs, like this is no big deal to talk about. "I was attracted to her from the beginning. She's fun to dance with," she smiles at me. "But when I was a wreck, she stayed with me that night. Nobody I know would have done that." The way she says it is so simple. Like that's all she needed. But it shows that she actually likes me because of me.

"Then when we were watching the O.C. after Rachel left to go see Finn, I couldn't stop myself from kissing you. That's all I wanted to do. And when I did, and you kissed me back, I knew. When you sang Hesitate, though, that just confirmed that I wasn't crazy," she laughs.

Brittany's blushing now, and I can't stop myself from giving her a quick kiss. She just looks so fricking cute.

"This is too much," Kurt cheers. Brittany laughs. "I just can't believe it. You. Brittany. _You!_"

"We get it, I'm gay."

"Not even that," he laughs. "You finally found it."

"Found what?"

"The person that makes you _you_." I arch my eyebrow at him, but I know exactly what he means. Kurt's Blaine. Quinn's Puck.

"Gay or not, you're happy. And you weren't like this before."

I smile, knowing how right he is. Brittany's hand squeezes mine under the table.

The waitress comes over and the three of us order a brick oven pizza, not sure what else we want.

"Have you told your parents?"

We both shake our heads.

"My Dad will be okay," Brittany explains, "Just waiting for the right time."

"Same with my Mom," I explain. Kurt nods in recognition. He knows my Dad is conservative, so he drops the topic.

"So are you just gonna be open in the meantime?"

Brittany looks to me for the answer.

"I- I guess," I shrug, looking at her. "I'm done with hiding," I say. "I mean PDA has never been my thing in really public places, straight or gay," I add. "But I'm gonna do what I wanna. And what Brit wants too, obviously," I smile. Brittany nods and returns my smile.

"We can double now! Gay nights!"

"Absolutely not," I interject when him and Brittany start clapping.

"Please," Brittany pouts. Then she leans in and whispers, "we can have sweet lady kisses."

"We can do that alone, too," I say. "And more," I add. Brittany giggles, but she keeps her pout.

"Fine, we can do something sometime."

"Yay!" They both cheer.

Our waitress brings our pizza and we start eating. After I finish my slice, I excuse myself to the bathroom. I had to pee when I got here but didn't wanna make Kurt wait alone.

I'm glad I came. Sometimes I need the comic relief Kurt brings. And he's someone good to talk to about whatever I'm going through right now, since he went through it himself. And I know he's excited, so I'm trying to humor him a little. Especially since I wasn't _always_ an angel to him in high school.

When I get back, I catch them in the middle of conversation.

"Yes, she's so good," Brittany smiles.

"Good at what?" I ask, sliding in. Brittany heats up again and Kurt begins to giggle. "What are you talking about?"

"Your lips," Kurt smirks.

"Brit!" I squeal, playfully hitting her arm.

"Not like- no," she shakes her head. "We're just talking about kissing!" Now my face is burning, and Kurt's jaw drops. I knew that's what she meant, but now Brittany just put more ideas into everyone's heads.

"What!" Kurt squeals.

"No!" I quickly defend. "It's not like that," I say.

"It's not?" Kurt says, suddenly a little more serious. "You don't...?"

"Kurt!" I scold.

"Sorry," he says quietly, realizing he crossed a line. I look over at Brittany, and I can't tell if she's one hundred percent sure what's going on. Part of me hopes she doesn't.

A silence takes over us and I feel the need to ease the tension.

"So you think I'm a good kisser, huh?" I joke.

"Duh," she smiles.

"You're not so bad yourself."

We finish our meal and Kurt gets the check, saying this is a celebration, and I'm definitely not gonna argue with that. We walk out together and Kurt gives us both a hug.

"Seriously, though, I'm really happy for both of you. And if you ever need to talk, please, I'm here."

"Thanks Kurt," I say. He leans in closer and whispers, "and if you ever need to talk about that _other_ thing, I'm here too."

I look up at him, trying to figure out what he means. He raises his eyebrows at me a few times and I suddenly realize he's talking about our lady sex.

"Kurt!" I whisper yell.

"Sorry! I'm just saying!" At this point, I can't help but laugh.

"Bye," we both say as he turns the other way.

"He's funny," Brittany laughs as we walk down the street.

"Yeah," I agree.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"Well, Quinn actually has some plan she's working on. She's trying to help me with this whole Dad/Gabriella mess."

"Oh, good! I was trying to think of something all day," she admits.

"Me too," I shrug. "Quinn's pretty smart though, so we'll see."

We walk towards the coffee shop near the main NYU buildings. Quinn said to meet there.

"What was Kurt talking about?" Brittany finally asks, like it's been weighing on her mind all day.

"Huh?" I ask.

"When I said we were only talking about kissing, he said something, and you got all mad at him."

"I wasn't really mad," I say.

"Well yeah, I know that, but what did he mean?"

I stare at her for awhile until I realize that whole thing really went over her head.

"He- he was talking about sex," I explain. Brittany's eyebrows crease.

"Wait, what did you think?" I ask.

"Well I knew it had to do with that, but when he told you we were talking about lips, I didn't want you to think we were talking about your, _you know._"

"Ohhhh," I say, understanding a little more. Then I giggle a little.

"Well when I said 'it's not like that', did you get that?" She shakes her head. "I thought, that you and Kurt meant, like me, _kissing_," I say, unsure of how to say this delicately. "Me kissing you, down _there_."

Brittany's eyes narrow. I quickly look around the street, suddenly paranoid of talking about this so publicly.

"Wait," I stop when I realize Brittany's confused expression. "Have you- has that never happened to you?"

Embarrassed, Brittany shakes her head no.

"Wait, really? Not even a guy?" I ask.

"Really," she breaths. But she seems confused. Almost like she didn't think that was a real thing.

We turn the corner and I see Quinn waiting for us outside of the coffee shop.

I turn to Brittany and her flustered expression.

"Hey, don't worry about it," I smile. "We'll take care of it," I wink. Her face turns an even darker shade of red, but she gives me the tiniest smile.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Sorry updates are taking longer! Fall is the busiest time of year for me! Sorry this one is a little shorter, too, but I wanted to get something out for all of those hurting from the Brittana breakup.**

**Brittana is endgame! Keep your heads up! :)**

**Anyway, thanks for being amazing! Let me know what you think.**

**Xoxo**

**Tumblr- Slaves4hemo**


	26. Best Friends

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana wakes up to the realization that she loves Brittany and they begin kissing_

_-Quinn walks in but is more embarrassed than the girls_

_-Brittany leaves for class and Santana has a heart to heart with Quinn about her father and Gabriella. Santana is really worried but Quinn says she has a plan_

_-Santana and Brittany meet Kurt for lunch where they talk about their relationship and Kurt fangirls over them_

_-After some miscommunication leads to a joke, Santana learns that nobody has ever gone down on Brittany's_

_-The girls meet up with Quinn_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Hey guys," Quinn grins as she waves her hand back and forth.

"Hey," I smile as we get closer to her. I wait for Brittany to say something but when I look over her face is still flushed. She just smiles.

I laugh a little at how bashful Brittany got at my comment. "_We'll take care of it,"_ I smirked. I can't believe nobody's ever gone down on her. I can't imagine being into her and _not_ thinking about it. Who wouldn't wanna satisfy her like that?

"How was lunch?" Quinn asks.

"Good," I answer. "Kurt's such a girl," I roll my eyes. Brittany giggles a little and I can't help but look at her.

"So what's this big plan of yours?" I ask. Quinn nods her head forward and we fall in line next to her, following her down the block.

"Well, I think the only thing you can control at this point, obviously, is the money part of this situation." Quinn says this as if it's the simplest fact ever. She looks straight ahead and keeps walking.

"That way," she finally continues, "a weight will be lifted off your shoulder. Worst case scenario your Dad doesn't accept you, he can't hurt you anymore than that. Or your mom. If we can get any sort of financial help, then maybe telling your Dad will be easier for you." Quinn finally looks up at me for some sort of opinion on her idea. I stare at her for a little, almost in disbelief.

"Q, yes, I understand that. You don't think I haven't thought of that?" I ask. I don't sound mean though. I don't even sound the slightest bit bitchy. It's almost desperate. "Money isn't easy to get."

"I know that," she smiles a little. "But after your big performance, I really think some sort of scholarship money isn't gonna be _that_ hard to get."

"NYU is super stingy with their money," I remind Quinn. It's a known fact. Quinn nods but she doesn't stop walking. I look over at Brittany and she smiles softly at me, looping her arm through mine. Her skin brushing against mine warms me immediately.

"Where are we going?"

"To the financial office," she says point blank. "Hey S," she begins to ask. "What was the name of the guy you met with after your performance?" I stare at Quinn for awhile, trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about. She sees my confused expression and continues, "you know, you met for dinner? The one who loved you and helped you with your schedule for the fall?"

As I realize what Quinn's referring to, I start to laugh. I can't tell if it's because I genuinely find the situation funny, or if I'm super dissapointed.

"What?" Quinn asks.

"Q, I-I never had a meeting," I say more seriously. "I had a date with Brittany," I confess. "My _first_ date." Quinn's mouth drops a little but she tries to stay calm. I can tell this probably had some part of her plan. "I'm- I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't know-"

"It's alright," she says, shaking off the mixup. We walk a little longer in silence as Quinn's brow furrows.

"Don't worry," Brittany whispers when she sees my clearly flustered.

"So did anyone say anything to you after?" Quinn stops to ask when we approach to the building.

"I mean, I got a bunch of compliments. The stage manager loved me. But I don't know if any of them were important," I shrug, trying to remember anything from that day besides Brittany's kiss.

Quinn nods and opens the door for us. She strides up to the front desk and the tan woman smiles at her.

"Appointment?" She asks politely.

"Shit," I mutter, already defeated.

"Mhm," Quinn nods nonchalantly. "Santana Lopez?"

The woman rummages through some papers before looking back up in recognition.

"Have a seat, they'll call you back in a few minutes."

"Thanks," Quinn says. As Quinn sits down, I look at her in disbelief. She really thought this one through.

"Sit down," she smiles.

"Thank you," I breath, not sure what else to say. I knew Quinn was going to help me this morning, but I didn't know she was going to go _this_ far out of her way.

"Okay," Q starts, "I know for a fact they have that performance on tape. I looked into it, and they record all their shows. So if anything, that's evidence for how good you are if a professor doesn't validate that for them. I figure with that argument, your grades from last year, and the fact that you haven't gotten in trouble at all, you should be able to get _something_. We can also look into financial aid if a parent isn't apart of your life and supporting you anymore. They may have something for that, just in case. I think with this, plus some loans, you should be able to cover your Dad's half. Maybe more if we're lucky."

At this point, I can't help it, I reach out and hug Quinn. She laughs, but returns the embrace.

"Don't get too excited," she says more realistically. "I don't know how much this will work," she shrugs, her voice almost cracking.

"No, just thank you," I tell her.

"You're awesome," Brittany smiles at Quinn. Quinn laughs a little, but Brittany says it again. "No, really," she adds. "I don't know anybody like you guys. You'd do anything for your friends."

"That's what friends do," Quinn shrugs with a smile. She doesn't mean to upset Brittany or anything, but I can see Brittany's smile falter a little. Quinn doesn't notice and diverts her attention to the bulletin board in the corner of the office. I look over at Brittany, whose smoothing her hands up and down her thighs. I reach across the arm rest separating us and grab her wrists to stop her.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Hm? Yeah," she smiles, but it isn't the kind that makes her face light up.

"What's wrong?" I whisper softer.

"Nothing," she tries to convince me. "I'm alright."

"Brit," I breath, begging her to say something.

"Santana Lopez?" A smooth, deep voice calls. I look up to an attractive man in a suit. He's young, probably not even thirty. And his deep brown eyes match his perfectly ramped brown hair.

I raise arm to introduce myself and he walks over to shake my hand. The three of us stand and I quickly introduce Quinn and Brittany to the man who we learn is named Tim. He begins to lead us back to his office and I turn to Brittany.

"You're not off the hook," I smile. She laughs and nods, but quickly reassures me it's nothing serious.

"So, Ms. Lopez," Tim says when we all sit across from him. Behind the desk, he looks older. Maybe just more professional. "What's the situation?"

"I- I need some options," I say. "Financially, anything that can be done." He nods and begins to pull some papers out of my pile.

"Quinn here," he says, looking up at her, I think to verify her name. "She told me about your performance. You didn't originally apply here with an audition, did you?"

"No," I shake my head. "I just applied to the school."

"Right," he nods. Then he goes through some more papers. "That's good then," he says.

"What is?" I ask.

"Well, you have never auditioned, so you weren't eligible for certain scholarships before. But now that you have the performing arts, you're eligible for different things. Are you going to enroll in more performing arts classes?" he asks.

I look at Brittany, then Quinn. Both are staring at me, waiting for me to make the choice. But if I make this choice now, am I automatically cutting my Dad out anyway? Choosing to major in something directly dealing with performing, that's exactly what he _doesn't_ want. Screw being gay, this is just as bad. Well, maybe not.

"Can I maybe minor in it? Or double major?" I ask. "I want to keep some of my old classes, too," I say.

"Of course," he smiles. "As long as you're doing _something _with it, we should be able to help you out. You know, if you get the recommendations."

"How do I do that?" I ask.

"Well do you have any professors to vouch for you?"

"Not for performing," I deflate.

"What about the video," Quinn chimes in. "Can the professors evaluate her performance? Like an audition? The stage manager said he liked it," she adds.

Tim lets out a breathy laugh. "That's what I was going to suggest," he smiles. "It's not that rare. And the stage manager? As in Gouche?"

"Um, small man? Round?"

"Gouche," he confirms with a smile. "That's awesome." He scrawls something down quickly in his notes. The three of us look at each other with a hopefulness.

He examines some more papers and looks up at me.

"Look, your grades are in place. You don't have a bad track record. You're a first time auditioner. You're definitely eligible, it just depends on what kind of reviews you get. I'm not saying you're gonna get a full scholarship, but it's possible you could get _something_."

"Thank you," I breath incredulously. "Thank you," I repeat.

"What about financial aid?" Brittany whispers to me.

"Oh right," I smile. "Thanks. What's the policy on financial aid, you know if a situation changes."

"I can give you the form to fill out and you can send that in and see what happens. If you have any questions about special circumstances give me a call," he says, sliding his card across the desk.

"Thanks."

"We'll give you a call sometime at the end of the week after there's a chance to review the performance. That will help us determine if there's a number we can give you." Tim stands up to shake my hand, followed by Quinn and Brit.

"Thanks again," I smile as we turn out the door.

"How do you feel?" Quinn asks as soon as we exit the building.

"Oh my gosh!" I scream, pulling Quinn into my arms. "You're the best you're the best you're the best," I squeal. She giggles, but quickly gets serious.

"Look, I don't want you to get your hopes up yet," she says softly, resting her hands on my shoulders. "But if this doesn't work, we'll figure something out! I promise."

"I know," I breath, nodding. "I just can't thank you enough for even _trying_ this."

Quinn smiles, tugs my hand, and begins walking forward. I reach behind me and grab Brittany, who I notice still seems a little hazy. She quickly smiles at me, though, and we make it back to our apartment pretty quickly.

"I'm gonna cook," Quinn announces when I close the door behind us.

"What?" I laugh.

"What do you want? Pasta? I'll cook Pasta."

"That's all you _can _cook," I joke.

"_Ha ha_" Quinn feigns. She can cook a good amount of stuff, actually, but she always wants to cook pasta when she's in a good mood. About halfway back from our walk, Quinn's mood _completely_ lifted, but I was too busy focusing on Brittany to really notice why.

"What are you so happy about?" I ask. "We don't know if I got any money or not yet."

"No, not that," she says, grabbing a pot from the bottom cabinet. "I mean, that's great too, though."

"What is it?" Brittany asks, suddenly excited. The two of us sit down at the table as Quinn begins pouring water in the pot. Quinn's smirk grows a little and her cheeks redden.

"I just got an email," she explains. Suddenly, my face lights up too, realizing what news Quinn just got. She looks up, and I'm grinning from ear to ear. She shoots me a confused look, and I can't keep it in any longer.

"You got the ticket," I smile.

"What?" She freezes. "H-how did-"

"You're not the only good friend," I smirk with a dramatic eye roll. Quinn's face drops. She picks up the towel from the oven wrack and throws it across the kitchen at me. I duck out of reflex but the towel doesn't even come close to hitting me.

"San!" She squeals, running over to throw her arms around me. I giggle as she squeezes me, but my heart melts when she pulls away and her eyes are watery.

"H-how? When?" She stammers. "Th-thank you so much."

I smile, trying to control myself. Sometimes I forget how good it feels to do something good.

"After our talk this morning," I tell her.

"W-why? How?" she asks again.

"I wanted to thank you," I explain. "Your talk. And then you even _trying_ to help me think of something. Before I went to lunch I texted him telling him to buy it and I sent the rest of the money through paypal."

"Oh my God," she melts, a tear actually falling from her cheek. "You can't," she tries to say, but I quickly shake my head to silence her. "I love you!" she wails, hugging me again.

"Love you too, Q," I giggle. When Quinn finally releases me, I see Brittany as confused as ever still sitting at the table. Quinn notices and turns to her.

"You're _amazing_ girlfriend just helped Puck and me save enough money to fly me out for this weekend!" Brittany's eyes light up and she turns to me.

"You did that?" She smiles at me. I nod with a small shrug. "Wow," she whispers to herself.

"I can't believe it!" Quinn says. "Here I was, getting ready to surprise you and break the news over pasta, and you're the one who made it happen!"

"Go pack," I laugh when she tries to hug me again. "I'll cook dinner." Quinn laughs but quickly complies, skipping off to her room.

I walk over to the boiling water and begin to pour the dry pasta into the pot. Brittany walks up from behind, resting her chin on my shoulder. Her arms wrap around my stomach and I melt into her body. I feel so perfect against her. Like a perfect puzzle piece fit.

"You're so sweet," she whispers. I smile, feeling Brittany's breath on me ear.

"It's the birthday of their little girl this weekend," I explain. "You know, the one they gave up for adoption." I feel Brittany shake her head a few times.

"I can't believe you're real," Brittany breaths after a few moments.

"What?" I say, almost giggling.

"You're so perfect." Her words are slow and soft. And it sounds like she's never been so sure of anything in her life. I slowly peel her hands off my waist and turn around to face her. She takes a step back, and I realize how sad her eyes look.

"I'm _not_ perfect," I promise her. She backs up a little until she bumps into the counter.

"Brit," I say, closing the distance between us, "what's wrong?"

She shakes her head and tries to turn back towards the table but I snatch her wrists in my hands.

"Brit," I whisper.

It takes awhile for her to look me in the eyes, but once she does, she starts to talk again.

"You're such a good friend," is all she says. I'm about to say something when she continues. "And Quinn- she's amazing." My eyebrows knitting together.

"What she did- I- I couldn't even _think _to do." My stomach twists into a knot when I think I realize what she's talking about.

"Brit-" I stop her, "Brit, no. I- I don't. I mean yeah maybe, I used to a little, but that was years ago. And _nothing _like this."

"What?" She says, her eyes narrowing.

"I don't like her," I plead.

"What?" Brittany says again, more confused than before. I suddenly feel like I said too much, but Brittany just smiles.

"So you _were_ crushing on your best friend?" She teases in a whisper. I playfully hit her shoulder. I was pretty sure we'd covered this before. And I really think she knew, because she drops the topic pretty quickly. "That's not what I was saying," she says.

"I'm sorry," I say. "What's the matter?"

"I-" she starts again. "What Quinn did for you. It was so sweet. I just- I didn't do _anything_. And then you, and the plane ticket. You guys are such great friends. What you do for each other. All of you. Rachel, too. I don't even know _how_ to be half as good as that," she says, her voice cracking on the last half of the sentence.

My stomach drops at the thought of Brittany feeling inadequate in anyway.

"Brit," I breath, because that's all I can think of saying. "Brit," I say again when I see her eyes starting to get cloudy. "You're an incredible friend." She shakes her head and my heart breaks again.

"I couldn't do _anything_ for you after you told me about your Dad."

"Brit, are you kidding me?" I ask, managing to keep my tone calm. "What you did _no one _could have done for me. Not Quinn, Rachel, or anyone." She looks up at me confused. "You made me feel happy. And safe. And you made me forget about all that stuff. Not just from kissing and stuff," I explain. "Just from you." Brittany's head drops down to her hands. "Quinn and Rachel could solve the problem entirely and it still wouldn't make me feel _half_ as good as the way you make me feel." For some reason, the words are harder to say than I'd expected. "You don't have to _do_ anything," I say. "When I'm with you, that other crap doesn't even matter."

Brittany looks shocked. Like I just told her my hand actually has seven fingers. Or that I actually have three hands. Both of which would come in handy.

"Why are you so surprised?" I ask softly, taking her hands in mine. She looks down at our hands bashfully. When she doesn't answer, I lean my head in towards hers. My forehead nuzzles against hers and I brush my nose against hers, but I don't kiss her. I wait for her to close the cap. Being so close to her makes it impossible for me to not smile. After about three seconds, the three longest seconds of my life by the way, she smiles breaks out into a smile as she connects our lips. She separates her lips a little to take my bottom lip in between hers. Her hands land on my hips as she pulls my center against hers. Our lips detach and I look up at her.

"You're an _amazing _friend," I tell her. "But more importantly you're an amazing _girlfriend_. And all that matters is that you make me happy. Which you do, everyday. Okay?" I ask. Brittany's eyes soften as she nods at me. I lean in and kiss her again, letting my hands slide down her sides.

"You make me so happy," she pulls away from our kiss halfway through to tell me. I kiss her again.

"I'm sorry," she says quickly. "I didn't mean to be sad. I was being stupid."

"You're not being stupid, whenever you feel a certain way you can tell me, always." She nods and suddenly her expression changes.

She leans down to kiss me, takes a step away from the counter, and pushes me backwards a little. Then she slowly turns us in between kisses so my back is against the counter. With hardly any effort, she lifts me by my waist and places me on top of the counter. She giggles as she places her body in between my legs as I wrap them around her with a smirk. I tighten my legs, pulling her closer, and I lean down to kiss her. And I kiss her. I mean really kiss her. Fiercely. The kind of kiss that immediately makes me fight for my breath. Her hands being to rub up and down my back, making my stomach twist every time she gets close to my chest. I start to feel all hot between my legs so I tighten my leg muscles even more.

"You're so hot," I mutter as I rip my mouth away from hers. She doesn't answer, she just presses her lips back to mine. She lightly bites on my lip, just enough to feel like a massage, and a soft moan escapes my lips. Her hands reach up to my face as they slowly run through my hair. She begins to slow down the kiss a little.

"Guys I'm gonna go tell Rachel!" Quinn calls. Wide-eyed again, we separate just as quickly as the first time. Something about this time being in the kitchen, a space we share, make me a little more uncomfortable. Brittany takes a step away, leaning herself against the counter across from me. Luckily, Quinn's voice was coming from the living room, giving us enough time to make it less awkward for everyone.

"I'll be back in time for dinner?" She says unsure, peeking her head through the doorway.

"Take your time," I say, trying to keep my breath down. "Tell Rach she can come too," I add.

"Ah! I'll go get her!" she says excitedly, running out of the apartment.

As soon as the door shuts, I let out a heavy sigh and we both begin to laugh.

"Maybe we should only do that in my room," I suggest. "Or when she's not home," I smile.

"Sorry," she blushes. "I got carried away."

"Never apologize for that," I laugh. "Please."

Brittany walks over to help me down from the counter.

"I guess we gotta cook now," I shrug. By now, the pasta is already cooked, so I turn the heat down. I go through the fridge for any type of sauce. I find plain tomato sauce and decide that's the simplest. Brittany grabs another pot for me to heat the sauce up in. The sauce was in the freezer, so I have to stir it to get the clumps out. I grab a wooden spoon and begin to stir it in the pot. Similar to how we started, Brittany walks up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist again. Only this time she starts peppering soft kisses on my neck. I can't keep still but Brittany doesn't stop. Soft and long. Her hands slide down my waist and begin to fall inward as I try my best to focus on stirring the sauce.

"Brit," I breath. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hm," she hums against my neck, multiplying the chills down my neck. She keeps kissing my skin.

"How come nobody ever, _you know,_" I say, knowing she'll know exactly what I'm referring to.

Her lips freeze against my neck and I feel her shrug against me.

"I don't know," she breaths, but I know that's not her real answer. So I wait a little more.

"I used to go down on Ryan a lot, I mean, like a normal amount, I guess," she says. "But he never really offered to do it for me. I thought guys thought it was gross or something, so I bring it up. I mean, he always made sure I was taken care of. Either by fingering or, we just did it," she says simply. Hearing about her and anyone besides me makes me feel sick. "I asked once, if he ever wanted to, you know, try it," she say. She almost sounds embarrassed. I turn to face her. "He kind of basically said 'ew'. I mean, he didn't seem into it, and I didn't want that to happen because I was already self-conscious of letting him do that, I don't know why." Her face is burning. "I never brought it up again," she shrugs.

"It's not gross," I tell her.

"You've done it?" She asks, confused.

"Oh, no," I smile. "But I promise you, it's a normal thing. And it feels incredible," I smirk, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"Yeah?" she asks.

"Mhm," I hum as I kiss her again.

"Then what are we waiting for?" She says seductively. My eyes widen as I look at her. She begins laughing.

"I'm joking," she smiles. "I don't think Quinn or Rach wants to see that. And I def don't want them seeing us."

"They'd probably switch teams," I joke. "I doubt Finn ever uses his fat tongue for any good." Brittany giggles as she kisses me again. I swear her kisses are more addictive than nicotine.

"When we do it, we're gonna be completely alone and you don't have to worry about anything," I promise her. Brittany's face softens and she gives me a genuine smile.

"Quinn leaves friday," I say, suddenly excited. "We'll have the whole place to ourselves! Sleepover," I beg. "It will be cute, and romantic, and super hot. And we'll get to cuddle all night."

Brittany looks at me, a little hesitant.

"We don't have to do that either," I add. "Whenever you're ready," I say. "But I still want a sleepover."

"Of course," Brittany smiles with another small kiss. "I can't wait."

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hey guys! Sorry if this chapter seems like a filler, I am trying to build stuff up I guess. Only a few more chapters left probably, too :(**

**I hope you guys are still liking it! Thanks for all the reviews and messages. You guys rock! xoxo**


	27. Infinity

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Quinn helps Santana get an appointment with financial aid/scholarship officials at NYU and they promise to review her performance to see if she can get any money_

_-Santana is so grateful for Quinn's help she sends money over to Puck to help him pay for the rest of Quinn's plane ticket, making it possible for Quinn to fly out for the birthday of their daughter _

_-Brittany is so impressed by their friendship, but it also makes her feel a little inadequate_

_-Santana reassures Brittany that only she can make her feel the way she does and, after a little kissing, they set up a sleepover for when Quinn goes to visit Puck_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

The few days leading up to Friday have been slow and uneventful. I had work, Brittany had class. Quinn was all hyperactive, trying to decide what to bring to LA and what she should wear and how she should greet Puck. She also cooked dinner for me-Brittany, too-every night, trying to thank me for saving up my work money to help buy her ticket.

Tonights the last night. Quinn leaves tomorrow morning. So, Rachel and Brittany invited me and Q over for a goodbye dinner. It's not like Quinn will be gone long, it's more like a celebratory send off.

"You ready?" I ask Quinn as I walk into her room. She looks up at me, kind of nervously. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head. "I just want to finish packing before we go." I nod, kneeling beside her. I begin to fold the clothes in a pile next to her suitcase.

"How many times have you packed and unpacked?" I laugh. Quinn finally smiles.

"Too many," she says with a breathy laugh.

"You know he's not gonna care what you wear." Quinn nods once, but I know she already knows this.

"Just a nervous habit," she confesses.

"Let's be honest," I start, "it's not like you're gonna be wearing clothes all that often." My attempt at lightening the mood doesn't work too much, but Quinn does give me a small smile.

"Shut up," she rolls her eyes.

"It's gonna be fine," I tell her. "You're gonna have a great time."

"I know," she sighs.

"Then what are you worried about?"

Quinn continues folding the pile of shirts while she searches for an answer.

"After it all," she finally admits. "What happens after the visit. We're back to where we started. And back to this long distance thing. It just sucks."

"Q," I breath, reaching out for her hand. "I know it does, but maybe this can help you guys decide you need to be together. All the time, you know? You can't worry about after when you're there, though. Go and have fun. Enjoy your time with him. You can figure the hard stuff out later. You'll just ruin your trip if you're constantly worried about the aftermath."

Quinn shakes her head again and closes her eyes for a moment.

"Thanks, S," she finally says. "You're right."

"Aren't I always?" I joke. She playfully shoves me with a giggle. I let out a loud, exaggerated groan as I pick up the rest of her shirts.

"Can we just go!" I beg, throwing the shirts into the suitcase.

"San!" she cries, but she continues laughing and finally stands up. "Okay, okay," she agrees. "Let's go."

"Thank you," I say, tugging her out her door.

"Slow down," she laughs. "Brittany's not going anywhere."

By the time we get to Rachel and Brittany's, the excitement of seeing Brit has me all jittery. When Rachel opens the door, I'm sorely disappointed. I push past her, immediately searching for Brit. I'm headed towards her room when I hear her humming softly in the kitchen. I smile at the sound of her voice and completely light up when I see her blonde hair resting against her shoulder blades.

"Hi," I smile. She turns towards me, her eyes sparkling, and I greet her with a kiss. After being apart from her all day, I crave a hug and throw myself into her arms. She wraps her arms around my back and I rest my head against her shoulder. I giggle a little when I realize she's rubbing my back with oven mitts on. I pull away to look at her with a smile.

"What are you cooking?"

"Lasagna!" She grins, flashing her purple oven mitts at me. She playfully takes my face into her gloved hands. "All cheese though," she shrugs. "Rachel said no meat."

"Dumb," I smile, leaning in to kiss Brittany again. It's impossible to be so close to her and not kiss her. She smiles into me as the oven beeps a few times. She pulls away and turns to check the oven. She opens it and heat rushes over both of us. She lifts up some tinfoil and, after a quick peek, pulls out the dish. She places it on the counter.

"I'm excited for tomorrow," she smirks, barely able to place her eyes on me. Our date. When, hopefully, I can please Brittany the way she deserves to be pleased.

"Me too," I agree. I've been trying to plan something sweet, but I can't really think of anything super original to do. Part of me thinks that's best, though. I don't want anything to overshadow our moment. Maybe simple is best.

"When should I come over?" she asks.

"As soon as you can. I got off work-"

"San," she sighs. "You shouldn't take off work for me."

"Why not?" I say, leaning up against the counter. "Work sucks."

"But it's work."

"Don't worry," I smile. "I picked up an extra shift today to make up for it. I'll still have money to treat you well."

"You don't need to spend any money on me," she says, walking closer to me. She presses her stomach against mine as she leans down to kiss me softly. Her taste is intoxicating and I can't help but try to elongate the kiss.

"Brittany," Rachel's irritated voice forces Brittany to pull her lips off of mine. Her body doesn't move, though. Rachel's standing a few feet away, arms crossed against her chest, glaring at us. "Dinner isn't going to get finished if you can't control yourself around Santana for five minutes. I'll have to take Santana with me-"

"Leave Brittany alone," I roll my eyes. "It was my fault, anyway," I say as Brittany takes a step away from me, a little embarrassed.

"Didn't look that way," she mumbles. "Whatever, just hurry up. I don't want to make Quinn any more anxious than she already is."

"Sorry about her," I mutter when Rachel finally leaves the kitchen. Brittany laughs a little.

"You don't have to keep apologizing for her. I live with her, remember?"

"Right," I laugh. "Sorry."

"But thanks for trying to take the wrap."

"Anytime, even though it was clearly your fault."

"Are you kidding?" she says, removing the tinfoil from the dish. "It's your fault you're so damn hot."

"It is _not_ myfault I'm irresistible," I joke.

"Come on," she rolls her eyes as she carries the dish over to the kitchen table. I help her spread out the plates already put out on the table and she calls the girls in.

"Hi Brit," Quinn smiles as she gives the girl a classic Quinn kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for making dinner," she adds.

"Anytime," Brittany smiles. I swear I could look at her smile forever. "Are you excited?" Brittany asks Quinn.

"Nervous as _fuck_," I laugh.

"Shut up," she shoots me a glare. "I'm not nervous, just a little anxious. But I'm excited."

"It's so pretty out there," Brittany says.

"I can't wait."

"Do you think you'll do touristy stuff?"

"Please," I laugh. "They'll be plenty busy with _other_ kinds of stuff." Quinn's face heats up a little but she doesn't disagree.

"Anyway," Quinn says, changing the subject, "what are you guys gonna do this weekend?"

"Finn wants to do something romantic," Rachel smiles big. I forgot they were even together, but I'm glad now. That will keep her off our backs.

"What about you two?" Quinn asks us. Brittany looks at me, her eyes saying more than I hope the girls will pick up on.

"We have some plans," I shrug.

"Ooo," Rachel coos. I roll my eyes at her but Brittany's giggle makes me lighten up.

"Hey, San," Rachel says more seriously. "Have you heard from the office?"

"Not yet," I shrug.

"Don't worry," Q says, "They still have office hours tomorrow. And if they don't get to your video this week, I wouldn't be too worried. They have a lot to do. It may take until next week."

"Yeah," I nod, trying to seem calm. But honestly, I haven't stopped thinking about it all week. Every time my phone rings I jump. I'm disappointed in almost every case, except when the caller is Brittany instead.

"What about Gabriella? Has she called?"

"Strangely, no," I say, my forehead creasing a little. "I don't know what her deal is."

"Me neither," Quinn agrees. I think Brittany can sense my apprehension, so she quickly changes the subject.

"Do you guys wanna come to my dance recital?" She blurts out.

"Of course!" Rachel says, clearly excited. "When is it?" She asks.

"At the end of the summer," Brittany says. Rach and Quinn laugh a little, I think at how random the question seems.

"A little early," Rachel smiles. "But of course we'd love to go."

"I know," she smiles, "I just want to verify how many tickets I'll have to get."

The rest of dinner is fine. Mostly, everyone's complimenting Brittany on her lasagna. Really, though, I've never had lasagna this good. Since she cooked, Rachel volunteers to clean up for us all. She must be in a great mood because of Finn, and I take the opportunity to avoid a clean up. Quinn offers to help Rachel, and they tell us to go pick out a movie. I take Brittany by the hand before she can argue.

"Oh, this is a good one," I smile, picking the first movie I see off the pile. I put it in the DVD player and walk Brittany back to the couch. She sits down first, and I immediately lay on my back next to her, placing my head in her lap. She smiles down at me as she runs her fingers through my hair.

"You didn't tell me you could cook," I smile.

"I'm not that good," she shrugs.

"Are you kidding? That was delicious." I begin dragging my nails up and down her free arm resting on my stomach. "And thanks for changing the subject in there."

"Anytime," she smiles softly.

"I love laying with you," I say without thinking. Using the word 'love' makes my face heat up a little, but I don't think she notices.

"I love it too," she smiles, leaning down to kiss the top of my forehead.

"What did you pick?" Rachel calls out as they enter the living room.

"(500) Days of Summer."

"Yes!" Quinn hisses. I knew she loved this movie. Rachel and Quinn sit on the couch across from us and I quickly push play.

"He's so cute," Quinn says when Joseph Gordon-Levitt pops up on the TV. We all quickly agree and fall silent as the movie starts. The entire time, Brittany's fingers smoothly run up and down my cheeks, through my hair, and over my leg. I continue to tickle her arm as I play with her free hand. Somehow, Brittany's forearm- the skin, color, and softness- is holding my attention better than one of my favorite movies.

I don't know how much time passes, but it's probably about halfway through the movie when my phone vibrates. Like always, my mind turns to the scholarship. But when my phone stops vibrating after the first time, I realize it's a text and not a call. Still, I slowly pull my phone out of my pocket.

_New Text Message_

_Gabriella_

My heart sinks faster than I could have imagined. My body gets that feeling you get when you're just about to fall asleep, and you feel like you're falling off a cliff, and you jolt awake. Only, it takes a little longer to finally feel the jolt.

It takes all of my strength to slide the bar to view her message, but I finally do it.

_Time to hang, San. When are you available?_

I roll my eyes immediately at the thought of having to sit through a lunch with her.

Brittany squeezes my arm a little and I look up at her.

_You okay?_ She mouths. Without saying anything, I hand the phone to her. Her eyes widen at the name.

"Remember what Quinn said?" she whispers. "Hold her off. Until you hear from the office."

I nod, remembering. I take the phone back and begin typing when Quinn notices.

"You guys alright?" She asks, turning to us.

"Gabriella," I say as I continue typing.

"What?" she snaps. "What she say?"

"It's time to hang, I guess," I mutter.

"You're holding off, right? Until you hear any news?"

"I'm gonna try," I tell her. "I don't know if I can make it to next Friday."

"Try Wednesday," Rachel says. I look up and Quinn's nodding.

"Yeah, try Wednesday," she affirms. "That will buy you some time."

I sigh as I type out the message.

_How about next Wednesday? I can meet before work. _

I send the message and the girls all stare at me, waiting for the response. Screw the movie.

Almost immediately, I get the response.

"_Wednesday? Is that the best you can do? It will have to work :)" _I read outloud.

"She put a fucking smiley face," I say, disgusted. "What the F is her deal?"

"Wow, I hate her," Quinn mutters, gritting her teeth.

"The office better call with some good news soon, because I'm ready to fuck that bitch up," I say. I expect the girls to laugh a little, but nobody does. The just agree. They're ready to fuck her up with me. Just like true friends.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

I finish making the bed for the third time and mumble "screw it" to myself. If all goes as planned, we'll be messing this bed up anyway. I'm super glad I took off work. It gave me all day to clean the apartment from top to bottom, set up my bedroom, get dinner started, and get myself done-up.

After I put on the tightest black dress I have- well the most easily removable tight dress- I blow out my hair, giving it natural waves. I apply light make up and head back to the kitchen.

Brittany texted me not long ago saying she'd be here around seven, and it's 6:55 now. I take the Salmon off the grill and finish with the rice. Before I know it, it's 7:05 and I'm anxiously awaiting Brittany.

All day I've been so busy preparing for tonight- cleaning, cooking, properly grooming myself- I hadn't really thought about actually _being_ with Brittany. My stomach fills with the best kind of nerves. I'm so excited to see her, kiss her, and hold her. And tell her what I've been dying to tell her all day.

It's 7:12 when she finally knocks on my door.

As I pull the door open, my "hi" gets caught in my throat. She looks so damn beautiful. Her hair is perfectly straightened and parted to the side. Her off-white dress makes her body look incredible, and her heels make her legs look better than I've ever seen.

"Woah," I breath.

"Woah yourself," she says in a similar voice. I snap out of my haze and close the gap between us. I have to use my tippy toes to kiss her, though, since her heels are making her a lot taller than me without my shoes.

"You look beautiful," I smile.

"So do you," she says. "Sorry I was late, I had to do something real quickly." I give her a small perplexed look but her cute smile makes me brush it off.

"I cooked dinner," I tell her. "It's not as good as yours, but it'll do."

"I'm sure it's great," she says, following me to the kitchen. "Woah," she smiles again when she sees the table set up. I dimmed the lights, like in those romantic movies, and put one big candle in the middle of the table. I pull out her chair for her she slides in.

"Thank you, m'lady," she jokes.

"My pleasure." She places her purse on the floor as she smiles down at her plate. I'm immediately elated she didn't bring any bag other than her purse with her. She doesn't feel the need to pack any clothes for tonight or tomorrow. She knows she can wear mine, if any at all.

"This looks incredible. Thank you, Santana," she smiles. "This is amazing."

We start to eat after I pour us each a small glass of wine.

"How was class?" I ask.

"Great," she smiles. "It's actually been a lot of fun recently. What did you do all day?"

"You know," I shrug, trying to play down how much work I actually put in to tonight. But her soft smile tells me she's already figured it out.

"Look," I sigh, putting my fork down. "I can't keep it in any longer."

"Hm?" she says, putting her fork down too. "What's wrong?"

"No, nothing," I smile. "I- I just, God I've been keeping this in all day."

"What?"

"I just wanted you to be the first to know. And I wanted to tell you in person."

"What is it?" she demands, a little louder. The news I've been bottling up slips out and it feels great leaving my tongue.

"The office called," I smile, my voice cracking a little. Her eyes widen and her face drops. "They- they've decided they're gonna give me some money!" As the words leave my mouth, water wells up in my eyes. Brittany's jaw drops and she's smiling just as big as me.

"What! San! That-that's incredible!"

"It's a little more than half the tuition, so that's more than what my Dad pays now!" I cry. Brittany jumps out of her chair and immediately rushes over to my seat to throw her arms around me.

"San!" she says. We're both laughing now. Out of happiness and disbelief. "San," she keeps saying. She falls to her knees so she's just a few inches smaller than me. Her arms lay on my shoulders as she looks me dead in the eyes.

"I knew you could do it," she whispers. Her eyes look almost as watery as mine. "I'm so proud of you!" She pulls lightly on my shoulders, pulling my head down towards hers. She takes my lips in hers and kisses me. "San," she says again between kisses. "I-I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," I smile. I can't decide what feels better, the freedom that comes with the money, or Brittany's lips against mine. I'm pretty positive it's the latter.

When we finally break, she sits there for a minute as we stare at each other, breathing and laughing.

"This is incredible," she says.

"I know," I smile. "I- I can't believe it."

"Did you tell your Mom yet? Or Quinn?"

"Not yet," I shake my head. "I wanted to tell you first. I'll tell them tomorrow. Not tonight. Tonight's for us." Brittany shakes her head in what looks like disbelief.

She stands up and begins rummaging through her purse.

"What's wrong?" I say.

"I'm so glad I was late now," she says to herself.

"What?" I say, confused.

"No, not like that. I- I was late because I was getting this," she says, pulling out a small, rectangular box. My stomach tingles.

"I really wanted to get you something-"

"Brit, no," I shake my head.

"Sh," she hushes me. "Listen. I really wanted to get you something, to show you how I feel. But I didn't know if it was like, too soon, or something." Her voice is a little shaky, and her face is pretty flushed, but she's smiling at me. "I'm not good at this kind of stuff," she laughs. "I picked this out, and it took me awhile because I wasn't sure if it was okay. That's why I was a little late. But I- after this entire set up, and tonight, and you just told me the best news before anybody, I'm so glad I picked it out."

Brittany hands me the black box as she slowly removes the lid. Butterflies explode in my stomach as my eyes fall on the small silver chain leading to a horizontal infinity sign, a tiny diamond resting in the middle.

"Brit," I breath, trying to catch my breath.

"If you think it's too much-"

"Brit," I look at her, taking my eyes off the necklace. "It's beautiful. It's perfect. I love it."

The relief on Brittany's face is the cutest thing ever, and my feelings for her intensify on the spot.

"Can you put it on me?" I ask. Brittany unchains the necklace and I sweep my hair away as she clips the necklace around my neck. "Thank you so much," I breath as I turn to face her. I take her lips in mine. "You're amazing," I breath.

"No," she shakes her head. "You are."

She keeps kissing me, but her kisses are soft. So soft they almost tickle. They're slow, too. A few minutes pass of this kissing, Brittany on her knees, me in my chair.

"Wait," I stop, pulling away. "You should eat before we- get carried away," I breath.

"I've eaten enough," she says, leaning in to kiss me again. "Unless you want to," she stops suddenly.

"No," I smile when I realize how hard my heart is pounding. I stand up and help Brittany to her feet, giving her another kiss.

"Come on," I smile, taking her hand in mine and leading her toward my bedroom.

"San," she breaths when she sees my room. It looks better than I remember. I shut the blinds, kept the lights low, and lit four candles, one in each corner of the room. I didn't want to be cheesy, but damn cheesy looks good.

I don't say anything. I just kiss her again and she quiets down. Without taking my lips from hers, I walk her backwards until her legs bump against my bed. I help her lower herself onto the bed and she inches herself up a little. My legs straddle her leg as I continue kissing her softly. We've never kissed this gently and slowly for this long, and I'm absolutely adoring it. It's giving me a chance to take everything in. Her taste, her skin, her body.

I nibble down her neck and she lets out a soft hum, making me kiss that spot a little longer. Her hands snap to my neck and she pulls my lips back to hers, kissing me more intensely than before. Her tongue glides over my lips and the chills I'm feeling multiply. Her hands stay on my neck as I slide mine down her sides. I feel her arch her back a little and I grin into her, knowing what that means. I slowly slide my hands down the the bottom of her dress and begin to roll it up her body. As it gets to her chest, she pulls our lips apart and lets me pull it over her head. I try my best to catch my breath, but looking at her body isn't helping me. I kiss her again before I let my lips slide down her body. First her chest, then her perfect abs. I spot the cutest beauty mark right above her underwear line on her right side and I decide it's my new favorite thing about her.

"You too," she breaths as my hands find their way to her chest.

"Huh?" I stop.

"You too," she says, tugging on my dress. Without her help, I sit up and rip the dress off of me. She smiles, pulling my lips back against hers. As I kiss her, I feel how warm I am between my legs and know by the way Brittany is rocking her hips into me she must be feeling something pretty similar. I let my mouth kiss down her body again and I land on her chest for awhile. My hands starts trailing up and down her thighs when I feel my chest loosen. My bra unclips and I lift my arms enough to let Brittany pull it off of me. I reach behind her back to unlatch hers because, hey, it's only fair, right?

Brittany's hands find my chest and I slowly let my hands slide down her stomach. They fiddle a little with her waistband before I slip my fingers under. She lets out a choppy breath as soon as I make contact with her folds. Her nails find my ass and she begins digging in, pulling my center down onto her leg.

"San," she breaths as I start to delve into her wetness. "Ca-can you?" she stammers.

I look up at her desperate face. The lightening is barely strong enough to show her glistening face. I can see the hint of apprehension on her face, but I know exactly what she's asking.

"Are- are you sure?" I ask. She smiles hesitantly, and after a deep breath, nods a few times. I jolt up to her face and kiss her lips, fast at first out of excitement, but I quickly slow it down. I want this to be special and beautiful.

My body slides down hers again, this time slower than before, and I take in every inch of her skin, kissing slowly. When I reach her beauty mark, I kiss the skin around it for awhile as I begin to slowly tinker with her underwear. She gives me the back arch again, and I begin to gradually pull her underwear down. Once she kicks it off from around her ankles, I open my eyes and take my lips off from her skin. I look up at her face, more beautiful than ever, and she gives me one last, reassuring nod.

I look down and my heart starts racing as my stomach tightens. I try not to look too long because I don't want Brittany to feel uncomfortable or insecure, but I can't help but check her bare body out for a moment. I shake my head, as if to wake myself up from a dream, and lean down to kiss her thighs. I kiss softly, gripping her legs with my hands. Brittany's fingers land on my head and I feel her leg muscles contracting. After a few slow kisses, Brittany slides her body down further so my lips are closer to her. I smile and press my lips to her center. Inch by inch, I kiss down her folds. With each touch, her body shudders. So does mine. My stomach is as light as ever, and I'm invigorated with every kiss. I kiss softer and softer the lower I get. I lick my lips and I kiss lower this time, right into her wetness.

Brittany lets out a choppy breath mixed with a moan. I smile, kissing again, remembering to take in her sweet taste. I begin to suck and Brittany's twitching all over. She grabs some of my hair in her hands, tightening it into her fists.

"Oh my God," she says shakily as I kiss a little harder. She sounds so uneven, but my God she sounds hot.

I begin to pick up the pace and kiss her a little faster than before. Then, I glide my tongue through her and over her clit, making her moan louder. I can hear her breathing getting harder and harder. I slowly slide my tongue inside of her.

"_Fuck_!" She moans loudly, followed by a few breaths. I let my tongue glide in and out a few times, Brittany gasping with every movement. After one last push inward, she tightens around me.

"San," she moans loudly, her tense body relaxing at once. I pull my tongue out and kiss her once more, gentler than before.

I let her catch her breath for a few minutes as I work on catching mine.

When I look up at her, I fall even harder. She looks so beautiful and she's smiling down at me like I've never seen. Her smile alone makes my stomach flip.

I slide up a little, planting a kiss on her collarbone before giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"That," she finally says, "was incredible." Her voice is still shaky, and I know if I were to speak, mine would be too.

I kiss her again, unable to keep my lips off of her.

"You're amazing," she breaths.

Laying down against my bed, she looks perfect. I hold myself up above her, and staring down at her, my tongue gets caught. I want _so_ badly to say something I know I shouldn't. I want to tell her how incredible she is, how she makes me feel, and how I've absolutely and completely fallen in love with her. After that beautiful, perfect moment, I've never felt more connected to anyone in my life.

My mouth suddenly feels dry. I swallow hard and open my mouth to jump off the ledge, to tell her how the magic yet terrifying words. But she does me one better.

"Infinity means forever, you know," she says quietly with the softest smile ever. My stomach capsizes with her words.

"I know," I breath, and she leans in to kiss my trembling lips.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hey guys! Sorry updates are once a week. I know I used to be able to update faster and I'm sorry! School sucks haha. But thank you again for reading and letting me know what you think!**

**Hope you like it!**

**Tumblr- slaves4hemo**


	28. Rounds

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-The girls go over to Brit and Rachel's place for a dinner before Quinn leaves_

_-Santana gets a text from Gabriella and Santana tells her she can meet up on Wednesday_

_-Friday comes and Brittany arrives for their date_

_-They start to eat and Santana reveals that the office called and offered her a scholarship for more than what her father was already paying_

_-Brittany then gives Santana a beautiful necklace with an infinity sign_

_-Halfway through dinner they get carried away and take it to the bedroom ;)_

_-Sexy time! _

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

When I wake up, my eyes focus in on the blonde locks across from me. I could have sworn I fell asleep on top of her chest. She smiles at me, her eyes lighting up. God, I love when that happens. Her eyes are so beautiful to begin with, but every time she smiles it's like she comes to life.

"Morning," she breaths, bringing her face even closer to mine. Her body comes closer too, and I realize the warmth on my bare back is from her hand, not my blanket.

"Good morning," I smile.

"Did I wake you?" She asks softly.

"No," I try to shake my head. "How long have you been up?"

Brittany shrugs. "Not too long."

"You could have woken me up."

"I like watching you sleep," she blushes. She tightens her arms around me and presses her forehead against mine. "I moved you so I could see you better," she confesses. "I hope that's okay."

I lean in and press my lips against hers. Air gets caught in my throat.

"How did you sleep?" I ask when I pull away.

"It's hard to sleep when you're next to the most beautiful girl in the world," she says. As she says it, it's clear she knows how cheesy she's being. It's the kind of thing that would normally make me gag, but coming from Brittany's lips, it makes me melt.

"Shut up," I say through my giggle. When I stop laughing, my squinted eyes open and I notice Brittany's gaze still fixated on me. She keeps smiling, almost childlike. I shoot her a perplexed look.

"You're dimple," she explains. "It's the cutest." She leans in and kisses my dimple, only making the indentation bigger.

"Last night was amazing," she smiles, kissing my lips this time. Her face reddens and I can feel mine heating up,too.

We haven't talked about what we did yet. We just did it. After I sent Brittany over the edge, we kissed softly for awhile, things picked up again, and it only took Brittany and her hand an embarrassingly short time to send _me_ over the edge. I felt like I was flying all night.

"It was perfect," I smile.

"I didn't know I could feel that way," she says sheepishly, her eyes averting my gaze.

"Yeah?" I smirk, using my hand to tilt her head upwards to me. I lean in and take her lips gently in mine. I hear her catch her breath against me.

"It was incredible," she repeats. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

"_My_ pleasure," Brittany scoffs and I can't stifle my giggle.

"I can't believe nobody's ever done that to you,"I say. "I've been dying to since I met you." She smiles but looks more nervous than before. I don't realize how true those words are until I say them.

"I'm glad you were the first one to do it," she whispers.

Brittany looks down to my neck and leans her head down, gently pecking the infinity sign neckless and chilling my bones.

"You make me so happy," I breath. She smiles again and lets out a long sigh.

"You're so damn sexy," she says, bringing her hands to my hips. My hands fall over her back and run down to her ass. I pull her closer to me.

"You're so fucking beautiful," I tell her. Her thigh slides in between my legs as she closes the gap between us harder than before.

"Round two?" she breaths before reattaching our lips.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"So what do you want to do today?" She asks me as we dry off. We got in the shower together after we had some fun. Thinking back, we both wished we saved that fun for the shower, but it was still amazing to have an excuse to rub her body all over. She promised me we could do it again, too.

"Whatever you want," I tell her. Brittany steps closer, unwraps my towel from around my body, and slides her body against mine. My stomach muscles tighten.

"No," she smiles. "You did last night for me." She softly kisses my neck.

"You know," I say slowly, trying my best to keep my voice as even as possible. "If we keep this up we'll be doing nothing but each other all day."

"And?" she smirks, sucking slowly down my jawline. I giggle and tighten my arms around her neck.

"I think I wanna tell my Mom," I blurt out. Brittany pulls away with a smile.

"About the scholarship?"

"Oh," I pause, remember that part of it. "Yeah, that. But I meant us. I want to tell her about us," I say. Brittany's eyes widen a little and her mouth curls up.

"Yeah?" she asks. I nod and Brittany's lips crash into mine.

"Maybe she can help me figure out how to tell my Dad and how to go about all of that," I say after the long kiss. "I think I wanna call Quinn first, too. I mean, she helped this all happen."

Brittany nods and gives me one last peck before wrapping me back up in my towel. She leads me back to my room and we slip into sweats. Brittany hands me my cell phone and we lie down on my bed. I lean up against the headboard and Brittany rests her head in my lap. I dial Quinn's number and let my fingers comb through Brittany's loosely tangled hair.

"Hello?" Quinn's voice comes through a little croaky.

"Hey," I smile. "Can you talk for a minute? I know you're with Puck, so I'll be quick."

"Yeah," she says, and then she whispers something to someone who I assume is Puck. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say thank you," I say slowly. "For setting up the whole meeting and everything." My voice sounds kind of somber and I think Quinn thinks I'm about to tell her it didn't work out.

"Oh," she says softly. "Yeah, of course. No problem."

"We did it!" I cheer. "They're giving me money!"

"What?!" She freaks. "San!"

"They're giving me more than what my Dad pays now, and all I have to do is keep my grades up and take a few more performing classes. It's incredible."

"Santana! Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you!"

"Thank you so much, Q," I say, my voice straining a little.

"You did this for yourself," she says. "I just helped you realize you could."

"Well now I can fuck Gabriella up," I smile. "So thank you. But I don't wanna take anymore time away from Puck, so I'll see you when you get back. I just wanted to let you know and thank you."

Quinn giggles a little. "Anything for you. Love you," she says.

'"Love you too, Q. Thanks again."

"She's awesome," Brittany says when I hang up.

"Yeah," I smile. "She's no you, though," I grin, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

"I'm not the one who helped you get that scholarship, though. That one's all on Quinn," she smiles. She doesn't sound jealous or mad, she just is simply giving Quinn credit.

"Brit, are you kidding? Think about it. Without you, I would have never performed. I wouldn't have done it, nor would I have had inspiration for the song _or_ the performance. Without the performance, there's no scholarship." I smile at her, waiting for her to realize how much she's helped. It hits her, and I see her trying her best to fight the smile.

"See?" I tell her. "You're incredible."

She licks her lips once before pressing her lips against mine.

"How are you going to tell your mom?" she asks me when we fall silent.

"I want to be able to see her," I tell her. "I mean, so I can see her reaction and she can see mine. I think maybe I'll ask her if she can Skype."

"Do you want me to go home?"

"What?" I ask confused. "No, of course not. Why would I want that?"

"I just meant if you wanted to tell her alone, I'd get that."

I think about it for a little. I know this is really personal, but Brittany's really important to me. If this was my Dad, I definitely wouldn't have Brittany here. I mean, he'd probably say some pretty offensive things. But my Mom? She probably won't say anything bad, but maybe it would make it less uncomfortable for my Mom if I told her alone, incase she had any questions or anything.

"Maybe you could wait in the living room or kitchen while I tell her, then maybe you can come in after? You don't have to, you can go home."

"No," she smiles. "I'll be here." She sits up and softly takes my cheek in her hand. Her lips against mine make mine tingle.

"You're the best," I smile. I quickly take my phone and type to my mom.

_Can you Skype anytime today?_

It only takes her a minute to answer.

_I have an hour now and a few hours after dinner._

I quickly send back _now_ and hop up to grab my computer.

"She said she can now," I tell Brittany. She quickly stands up and pulls me into a hug.

"I'll be out there if you need me," she smiles. "It's gonna be great," she says, leaning in to give me a short kiss. As she starts to pull away I lean further into her, elongating the kiss.

"Thanks babe," I sigh. Brittany blushes and gives me a kiss on my cheek before disappearing.

I take a deep breath as I open my computer and log onto Skype. I'm nervous, but it's the good kind of nerves. I see my Mom's icon and quickly hit the call button.

Within a few seconds, my Mom's brown curls are bouncing on the screen.

"Baby!" She cries. "So good to see your face."

"You too, Mama," I smile.

"¿Cómo estás?"

"Good," I smile. "I'm really good. How are you?"

"Busy," she smiles. "Lots of work."

"I have something I have to tell you," I say.

"What is it, mija?"

I think for a second, trying to figure out where to start.

"Well, you know Dad doesn't like me performing."

"You know what he thinks doesn't matter-"

"But it does. And you know that," I sigh. "Financially at least," I remind her. It almost looks like her face breaks but she tries to smile.

"Well it did," I hint. Her eyebrows crease together.

"Gabriella has been around," I tell her.

"Your cousin?" I nod.

"What?" she asks.

"Yeah, I ran into her at a concert. And she's been sort of, I guess you could say _blackmailing _me?" I squint.

"With what? San?" I can see her getting nervous.

"I'll get to that. But she's basically threatening to tell Dad a bunch of stuff because she knows he won't talk to me. I- I don't really know why-"

"Because she's nasty," my Mom says. "Always has had a nasty side, since she was a child."

"But whatever she was holding against me, I knew if she told Dad, that was the end of it. If he ever accepted me performing, this would change his mind about me for sure. And seal it."

"What's going on, San?" she asks.

"Quinn helped me get in touch with some people at NYU," I explain. "I wanted a plan incase Dad ever found out. I didn't want him to leave you high and dry again." The word again hits her a little harder than I meant, making me take a big gulp.

"Mama," I say. "They checked out my performance, and my grades, and they've decided to help." I'm smiling now, really big.

"No entiendo-" she starts, but I cut her off.

"They're going to give us money! Scholarship money! To help pay for school. It's a little more than what Dad pays now."

My mom freezes, first she stops moving, but then she legitimately freezes. The computer screen gets all fuzzy and some noise comes through on the other end, so I imagine her moving too fast for the camera to keep up with.

"San! Mija! Oh my gosh, Santana." Once she comes back into focus I notice she's crying and I can't help but giggle. She's such a softy.

"Baby," she cries. "I'm so, so proud of you." I let her swoon for a few more minutes until I can't hear her breathing anymore.

"I still have something else to tell you," I say. She looks at me and nods.

"I had to do this, because I have to tell you something, and I have to tell Dad something. Before Gabriella tells him, too. Well, now that I got this money it will be easier, I hope."

"What is it?" she says.

"Gabriella kind of _saw_ something. Or rather, some_one_," I say. "And if she told Dad, we'd be over-"

"What? Slow down-"

"Me and Dad," I explain. "He'd be done with me."

"Santana, what is it?" She says again.

"Mom," I sigh. "I'm gay." My eyes close instinctively as I say it, maybe because I'm trying to protect myself or something like that, but when I open them, my Mom's expression shocks me. She is barely reacting. Her smile is sweet, but nothing special. She almost looks like I told her I got an A on my last test. Like _oh, that's great honey. What do you want for dinner?_

"You- you're okay?"

"Of course," she says quickly. "You're my daughter!"

"Did you know?" I ask confused. How is she have such a normal reaction?

"It crossed my mind once or twice," she shrugs. "But either way, you're my baby. I'm not like your father," she reminds me. "If he decides that he can't love you for who you are, then he's not much of a father, is he?"

I shake my head and suddenly wish my Mom was right here so I could hug her.

"I love you," she says.

"Love you too," I smile. "And I have one more thing," I say, remembering Brittany out in the living room.

"Dios mío, San, what else?" she laughs.

"I have a girlfriend." This one gets her. Her jaw drops and she starts clapping.

"San!" She squeals. "Who? When? Where?"

"Her name is Brittany," I giggle. "Do you want to meet her?"

"Well of course I do."

"She's out there," I say, nodding towards my door.

"Go get her!" Giggling, I stand up to go get Brittany. When I walk out the door, I immediately see Brittany sitting on the couch tinkering with the frayed edges of a pillow. So cute. She didn't even turn the TV on or anything. She just sat here waiting.

"Hi!" She looks up immediately. "How was it?" She asks slowly.

"Awesome," I smile. "She wants to meet you." Brittany's eyes widen a little.

"Now?"

"If that's okay?"

She quickly nods. "Yeah, yeah of course," she jumps up. She quickly flattens out her hair and tries to adjust her sweats.

"You look perfect," I giggle.

"Sorry," she blushes. "Just a little nervous."

"Don't be," I tell her. "She'll love you." I take a step towards her and give her a reassuring kiss.

"I like this," she hums.

"Like what?"

"This whole kissing thing," she smiles, kissing me again. "We're kissing just because."

"They're the best kind," I smile into her lips. "Come on," I pull her hand behind me.

We make it onto my bed and I readjust the computer so the camera falls on the both of us. My Mom is staring excitedly at the screen.

"Mom, this is Brittany."

"Oh my," she smiles. "Hello Brittany!"

"Hi Mrs. Lopez, it's nice to meet you," Brittany says.

"Maribel. Call me Maribel. It's wonderful to meet you, as well. You're beautiful!"

"Thank you," Brittany blushes. "So are you!"

"Oh," she giggles, "you're too sweet."

"So how did you two meet?" She asks.

"She was in a show with Rachel,"

"Do you sing too?" My mom asks.

"I dance," Brittany tells her.

"Oh my! That's wonderful. Are you a student?"

Brittany nods. "At Julliard."

"Woah," my Mom's eyebrows arch. "That's impressive."

"Full scholarship," I add. Brittany hits my leg, clearly embarrassed by my bragging.

"Brittany! That's incredible! I would love to see you perform some time."

"Sure," Brittany smiles.

"Anyway," I say, trying to take some attention away from Brittany. "Her and Rachel ended up becoming roomies. We hit it off pretty fast."

"That's rare," my Mom laughs.

"Shut up," I roll my eyes.

"Sorry," she giggles. "It's just- Brittany you must be pretty special then."

"She is," I say softer. "But Mama," I say more seriously when I check the time, "¿Qué debo hacer?"

Brittany looks over to me and I see her eyes bug out a little.

"¿de qué?" she asks.

"What do I do about Dad? And Gabriella? Gabriella asked to meet up before I knew I got the money. So I told her I could meet Wednesday."

"Are you trying to tell your Dad?"

"Yeah, I want to tell him."

"Tell him first. Before Gabriella. You'll have his reaction and, assuming the worst," she says sadly, "You can tell Gabriella she doesn't have anything on you anymore. You'll either close the book or open up a whole new chapter."

"Yeah," I breath.

"Baby, I've got to go to work," my Mom says. "If you call your father, let me know. Be strong, okay? I love you."

"Alright, thanks Mom. Love you too."

"It was lovely to meet you, Brittany. I hope I can see you both very soon!"

"You too!"

"Bye!" We all say in unison as I close my computer.

"Thank you for doing that," I smile.

"Are you kidding? Thanks for letting me meet her! She's awesome."

"Yeah," I agree. Suddenly, Brittany's hands are falling on my hips. She leans into me and her lips brush against my ear.

"Hm?" I ask.

"You speaking spanish is _so_ hot," she whispers. Her voice tickles and chills me.

"Yeah?" I giggle, pulling my face away so I can see her. She leans back into me.

"Oh yeah. Even if I don't know what the hell you're saying."

"Eres _muy_ caliente," I tell her. She smirks, her hand slipping under my tank top.

"_Caliente_," she repeats in the cutest accent ever. "That I can understand," she whispers before her lips fall back onto mine and we prepare for round three.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"So what's the deal?" Rachel asks as we sit down for dinner.

"Well, I got the money," I say, anticlimactically. I've told a few people now and the buildup is starting to wear off.

"What! Santana!" She squeals, hopping up from her seat.

"Yeah," I smile. She throws her arms around me and I accept her hug for a second before telling her to sit back down.

"Yes, it's wonderful," I smile. "But more importantly, now I can tell my Dad."

"So you're going to?"

"Tonight," I breath. Brittany and Rachel's eyes snap towards me.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm calling tonight. Not sure if he'll answer, but I'm calling."

"You sure?" Rachel asks.

"Look, I'm expecting the worst. I just wanna get it over with at this point. And then I can get that bitch off my back, too."

"How are you gonna do that?"

"Well once my Dad knows she has nothing to hold against me," I explain. "I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna _get_ her back though."

Brittany's eyes start squinting and I think she's thinking about something really hard.

A few minutes pass like this, Rachel sipping her water, me staring at the table, Brittany squinting and massaging my knee with her hand.

"I- I think I _may _have an idea," she finally says, completely unsure of herself. "I'm not sure if it'll work or even do anything, but maybe you'll want to try it," she shrugs.

The way I look at her, it must do something to her. Because Brittany's whole face smiles. Not just her lips, or her eyes, but all of it.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hey guys- sorry this is short I just have to get something out there for you all! Next chapter MAY be the last, followed by an epilogue, but we'll se if I decide to fit another one in there!**

**Let me know what you think!**

**Also, I finally reached 1000 reviews! Thank you so SO much that's INCREDIBLE and I never even thought that was possible. **

**Xoxo**

**tumblr- slaves4hemo**


	29. Free

_So here's what you missed on Alone With You_

_-Santana and Brittany have many sexy times_

_-Santana calls Quinn to tell her about the scholarship_

_-She tells her Mom and then tells her about Brittany. They Skype and Brittany meets Maribel_

_-They meet Rachel for lunch and try to come up with a plan on how to go about telling Santana's father and Gabriella. Brittany says she has a plan to get Gabriella back_

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"I don't know, San," Rachel sighs as I open the door to my apartment. "Don't you think it's too much?"

"Too much?" I bite. "She's trying to ruin my relationship with half of my family."

"I know, I know," she breaths in an easier tone. I collapse onto the couch and Brittany sits down next to me.

"Don't you think it's just as bad though?" she asks me again. "To try to ruin _her _relationship with her mom."

"I'm not saying you _have _to send the tape," Brittany says, wrapping her arm around my back. I allow myself to scoot closer into her.

"Oh I'm sending that tape," I shake my head.

At lunch, Brittany suggested that I record my entire conversation with Gabriella. I know she's gonna be nasty. She's gonna admit to basically blackmailing me for whatever reason. Brittany remembered I told her my aunt, Gabriella's Mom, has always been really fond of me. We've gotten along the best out of my Dad's side of the family, and she's always supported me, even as a performer. She's part of the reason why I think Gabriella hates me so much. But I know whatever Gabriella is up to, her Mom wouldn't be proud of. Sometimes I wonder how her and my Dad share the same parents. Anyway, if I can get a recording of what Gabriella has been trying to do and send it to her Mom, I'd be getting Gabriella back _so good_.

"Are you nervous?" Rachel asks, finally breaking the silence.

"For what?"

"Calling your Dad." The reminder makes my stomach twist a little more than I expect. I shrug. Brittany senses my nerves and tightens her grip around my shoulder. We fall silent again and Brittany brings her lips to my temple, planting a long, soft kiss there. My mouth immediately curls up.

"Thanks," I whisper. "I'll be alright," I say louder. Rachel looks up at me with a concerned face. I sigh. "It's gonna suck," I admit, "but I'm ready. Well as ready as I'll ever be," I add.

"You don't _know_ he's not gonna accept you," Rachel tries to say in a softer voice. I shoot her a look and she quiets down, realizing she's wrong. For right now at least, it's pretty much a done deal.

"What time is Quinn getting back?" Brittany interjects. I squeeze her hand, thanking her for averting the subject away from my Dad.

"Late tonight," Rachel says.

"She's gonna be a mess," I roll my eyes. I only roll my eyes because I assume I'm not gonna be in the greatest mood after I make my phone call, so the two of us together probably won't be the best match. Brittany is obviously staying with me, and Rachel decided to stay and wait for Quinn too, so that should help keep the both of us sane.

"How about I cook something then," Rachel suggests as she stands from the couch. "What do you want?" She looks at me with a smile. "Anything you want."

"Thanks," I let out a breathy laugh, mostly at her cute attempt to make me feel better. "Quinn likes grilled cheese," I say. Rachel nods and thinks for a minute.

"Grilled cheese and tomato soup it is." I realize her tomato soup is gonna take a lot longer to cook, especially since she loves cooking from scratch, and I'm glad she's giving me and Brit some time alone.

As soon as she disappears into the kitchen, Brittany's hand lifts off of my shoulder and lands on my

cheek, guiding my face towards hers.

"You okay?" she whispers, bringing her mouth closer to mine. Her nose brushes up against mine and the knots in my stomach immediately come undone.

"Better now," I smile into her lips. Every time I kiss her, everything else is zoned out. But right now, in the silence of my living room, I honestly feel like we're the only two people on the planet. Or maybe just the only two that matter. Her lips are gentle and just what I needed.

"No matter what happens," she breaths, "you'll always have me." Those words alone are enough to make me melt, but she continues. "I know that may not be enough, I mean he is your Dad and all, but I'll always be here. And your mom," she begins to ramble. "She loves you so much." I start to blush from her earlier words and try to cut her off but she overpowers me. "I mean, I just- I know this is gonna suck. And be super hard. But I just wanted you to know that. That I'm here. Infinity, remember?" She smiles. Her voice is shaky and I can tell how nervous she is. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I give her a short kiss to calm her before I start to talk.

"Infinity," I repeat. "And you are enough. You'll always be enough. _More _than enough," I tell her. "My Dad doesn't even compare to you." Brittany's hands intertwine with mine and she fiddles with my fingers for awhile.

"Thank you," she says bashfully.

"Thank _you_," I giggle. I pull her softly into another kiss. Her lips fit in between mine perfectly. As we disconnect and reconnect our lips, I'm filled up with pure happiness. The kind of happiness that makes you forget about everything else. The kind that makes all the shitty stuff in life seem not so shitty.

So I stop her.

"I- I want to call now," I mutter, my breath a little choppy.

"Y-you sure?" she stammers back. I nod.

"I know you're going to be able to make me feel better after, and I want to get back to feeling better as soon as possible."

"Okay," she smiles a little. She gives me a long, supple kiss before I stand off the couch. "Want me to wait here?" She asks. I sigh and nod, deciding it's for the best.

"If that's okay?" I don't want her to hear anything too bad.

"Of course," she says. "Just shout if you need me."

"Thanks," I giggle.

When I get into my room, I pace back and forth a few times while gripping my phone tightly. I roll my eyes at how dramatic I feel and throw myself onto my bed. I get up my Dad's contact information and stare at it for a few minutes, trying to garner up the courage to hit call.

Shaking, I hit the button and put the phone up to my ear.

_Shit_.

What am I even going to say? I haven't even thought about it. I've been so damn preoccupied with his reaction I haven't even thought about how I'm gonna make him react.

The phone rings twice and my stomach is flipping like crazy. I can't tell if I'm gonna throw up or not.

After four rings, and what feels like four hours, it goes to voicemail. My stomach settles and I pull the phone away from my face, ending the call.

He hasn't answered me in weeks, why would I think tonight was any different? I can't tell if I'm gonna cry or not, but I decide to lay there a few more minutes before I head back out to see Brittany.

Only, about thirty seconds later, my phone vibrates again.

_Dad_

Yup, I'm going to throw up.

I start trembling so much I can hear it in my breathing. I try my best to unfreeze myself long enough to hit the answer button. If I don't now, then when will I ever?

"Hello?" I gulp. The other end is quiet for a moment, leaving only the sound of my thumping heart.

"Santana," his characteristically strong voice sounds a little weak. Or maybe just unsure.

"Hola Papa," I say, not sure what else to do.

He pauses again before saying, "It's good to hear your voice." I want to make some wise crack about how it's only because I'm not singing, but I refrain. I can't tell if he means it or not, but he sounds sincere. Well, for him anyway.

"You too," I agree. "How are you?" I ask, trying to put off the hard part of this call.

"Fine," he says. "Fine. Yourself?"

"Fine," I agree. We both fall silent again and I can tell he's not going to say anything anytime soon.

I realize I'm pacing again but this time I let myself.

"Look, I have some things to tell you," I say.

"Hm," he says shortly. I take a deep breath and decide to start off with the light stuff.

"I know you don't approve, but I'm going to be performing more-"

"Santana," he says with a sharper tone and thick accent. The tone I'm most familiar with. It's the first time he's used it this phone call.

"Listen, por favor." He quiets down. "I just, it's what makes me happy and if you don't support me then that's your loss, but I'm going to do what I love."

"If I don't support you it's _your_ loss," he says. "How do you think you're going to get an education without me. You know I said I wouldn't support you unless you got a _real_ education."

"That's what I'm telling you. I got a scholarship. Money. The school gave me money because they think I'm _good_ at performing, unlike you," I add.

"You know I think you're good," he starts, "but that doesn't make it a _realistic _career option!"

"NYU seems to think so," I say. "In fact, they think so enough that they're gonna pay _more_ than what you were putting up for me to go to school. So really, it looks like some random people that don't know me at all believe in me more than the man that raised me."

That gets him. I don't know how or why, but I hear him hit something on the other end, probably a table. For some reason, this fills me with more confidence.

"Don't you _dare_-"

"I have more to tell you," I say, cutting him off.

"Dios Mío, Santana!" He practically screams.

"This is more serious," I say, calming my voice down. Surprisingly, he falls silent. "Have you talked to Gabriella?" I ask.

"No?" he replies. I already knew the answer though, he wouldn't be talking to me if he had.

"She's been trying to blackmail me," I say, "because she knows something about me. Something I haven't told you."

"What now? Why is she blackmailing you for? For what?"

"I'm not sure," I admit. "But she saw me. And someone." My voice freezes, realizing how much things are going to change.

"What?" He says, encouraging me to continue.

I decide this is just like ripping a bandaid off. I could sit here and pull it off piece my piece, or I could rip it off all and once and get it over with. It's much less painful the second way.

"Dad," I say, unsure of when I'll get to call him that again. I quickly snap out of it and decide to come right out with it.

"I-I'm gay. And Gabriella saw me with my girlfriend-" He cuts me off before I can say anything else.

"You're _what?_" he snaps.

"I'm gay," I repeat slowly. "Gay," I say again. When he doesn't say anything I add, "I like girls."

"I know what it means, damn it!" He barks at me. "You're not," he says. "You're not gay. Sam!" he tries to remind me.

"I wasn't in love with Sam, Dad."

"Who is this girl that has you so confused?"

"I'm not confused!" I snap back. "I'm gay! I've known for awhile. That's why I broke up with Sam. Because I'm gay!" I'm basically yelling now, but it feels good. _Really_ good.

"You're. Not. Gay." he says again.

"Yes I am. I'm a lesbian, Dad. It's who I am."

"So what? You're gonna marry a girl? You can't even do that in most states. No one will respect you, you'll lose everyone who cares about you, and do you want a family?"

"I'll be happy," I say simply. "Happier than I was before. And I won't lose _anyone_ who cares about me. If someone a_ctually_ cares about me, they won't care who I like."

"Not true," he says sharply.

"Completely true."

"Your mother?" He asks. "You think she's going to support this choice?"

"It's not a fucking choice," I bite. "And as a matter of fact she does. Whole heartedly. She loves me, so she doesn't care."

"She's a fucking moron."

"No, you are," I say. Something in my breaks. A few tears start to fall down my cheeks, but I don't feel like I'm crying. It feels good. Like it should feel. To be open.

"Santana Lopez," he says harsher than before. "If you want to remain apart of this family, you are going to tell that _girl_ goodbye and stop with this whole gay thing. It's one thing if you want to throw away your life _career_ wise, but this is taking it to a whole 'nother level."

"No," I say, my voice barely faltering.

"What did you say?"

"No," I repeat. "I'm _not_ gonna tell Brittany goodbye-"

"Brittany," he mimics the name.

"I'm not gonna tell her goodbye because I've never been this happy. I'm not gonna tell her goodbye because I'm never going to find anyone who makes me feel this way." I'm rambling now, but I can't stop. "I'm not gonna tell her goodbye _ever_ because I love her!"

The words slip out of my mouth without thinking and all this weight escapes my body.

"You do _not_ love her," his voice cracks.

"Don't even act like you know _anything_ about love. You're a fucking cheater and I covered for your sorry ass."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Don't tell me who I do or don't love. And that it's wrong."

"It is wrong."

"It's wrong that I'm in love?" Again, saying love out loud sends a chill down my spine.

"With a girl, yes. Santana, what do you want me to say? That this is okay?"

"Yes," I say. I thought that was obvious.

"Well it's not. And no daughter of mine is going to be effing around with some girl."

"So what? I'm not your daughter?" He's about to say something when something comes over me. "And I'm not effing around," I say. "I'm in love with her. I love her. More than you've ever loved anything. You know what? I don't want a father that doesn't love me for who I am. I knew you wouldn't accept this and I've prepared myself. If you can't deal with this then fine. I guess I don't have a father." I'm breathing heavier than I realized, and I may even be sweating a little. My heart is pounding, but I can't stop. "If you can't accept me for me, don't bother calling me anymore." As I stop talking, a shaking breath escapes my lips. There's a long pause on the other end. Long enough to make me feel another tear slip out of the corner of my eye. My eyes shut tightly and I wait for something. I'm not sure what I want to hear, or what I expect to hear, but I wait anyway.

"Don't expect a call," he says quieter than before. Then it's silent. The lines dead. He's gone.

My knees buckle and I walk backwards until my legs bump against the edge of the bed. I let myself fall onto it as I try to decipher what I'm feeling. I was right. He's not okay with it. But why do I feel so..._okay?_ A big part of my just wants to keep crying. But I'm not _really _crying. My breath is okay and I don't feel so weak. I'm hurt. It hurts like hell. My eyes are watering and tears are falling, but I'm okay.

My Dad doesn't love me unconditionally like parents say they will. My Dad probably won't ever talk to me again, as long as I'm with a girl. So why am I so okay? Maybe it's because I knew this was coming. I've been preparing for it. But that's not why I'm okay, is it? I wipe my eyes a little and I realize the answer's in the other room.

I open the door and smile when I see Brittany's fist about to knock on the open space where the door was.

"Oh," she mutters.

"Hi," I smile. She looks me up and down for a moment, and I let her. Then I throw myself into her as she wraps my arms around my back.

"You okay?" she asks again.

"I'm okay," I smile against her chest. Her hands slide up and down my back for awhile.

"How'd it go?" she finally asks. We take a step into my room and I shut the door behind her. I shrug, not really sure how I thought it went. I walk over to the foot of my bed again and sit down. She quickly shuffles over and sits next to me, placing her hand on my knee.

"He's not okay with it," I shrug again.

"With-" She starts.

"Everything. Me performing. He's not okay with that."

"Even though you got the scholarship?" She asks.

"Even though I got the scholarship." She squeezes my knee a little.

"And he's definitely not okay with me being gay," I say.

"I'm sorry," she breaths, wrapping her free arm around my back.

"I just, I don't get it!" I start. "I mean, how can you throw away your daughter just because she's into girls? And then I told him, what does you know about love? He doesn't know anything! He cheated on my Mom and lied to my family about it! Who is he to tell me that I don't love you? He doesn't know how I feel! I tried to tell him! And he tells me I don't! How can he tell me I don't love you? He doesn't know anything! How can you not accept someone for loving someone! It's absurd! It's fucking absurd. What kind of father does that?" My voice lowers when I realize I'm basically shouting. I'm steaming. Now that I realize it, maybe I'm not upset because I'm so damn angry.

But when I look up at Brittany, she isn't fuming with me. Or even looking like she's concerned about my fuming. She's smiling, I think. Her eyes are at least. Her mouth is hanging open a little though. She's staring at me, wide eyed. But she's smiling. Definitely smiling. I feel my eyebrows starting to crease together as I stare at her. Why is she smiling? What did I do?

I backtrack for a moment and my heart stops cold.

_Shit. _

I just ruined it.

I basically just told Brittany I loved her in the most unromantic way ever.

"I-I" I start to stammer, but I don't even know how to cover this one. I look away from her as quickly as possible, unable to look into her eyes.

"San," she breaths as soon as I do. Her hand reaches towards mine. "Did you just-"

"I- I didn't mean to-" I start to say, but I don't want her to think I don't mean it. Because I do. I mean it more than I've ever meant anything. "I mean, I mean it, but I didn't mean to-"

"I love you," she says with the biggest smile, tightening her grip on my hand. My stomach flips and bursts all at once. My body tingles and every hair on my body stands up. I don't know why I can't get any words out, but Brittany quickly leans in and presses her lips against mine, only intensifying my emotions.

"I love you, too" I pull away to say. She giggles and kisses me again. The kiss is passionate at first, but then we slow it down. I think so we can keep our breathing under control. I alternate taking her top and bottom lip in between mine until she finally pulls away.

"I'm sorry," she breaths. "I didn't mean to cut you off, you know, from talking about your Dad."

"No," I stop her. "I'm glad you did. And you can cut me off from _anything_ if it's to say that," I smile.

"I love you," she repeats, bringing her forehead to mine. Her hand wraps around the back of my head and I place my hands on her waist.

"I love you," I say again. "So much." I feel Brittany shudder a little.

"You're the most amazing girl in the world," she smiles. "If your Dad doesn't love this, he's an idiot."

"Thanks," I smile, giving her a short kiss.

"You really told him you loved me?"

"More than anything in the world," I admit. This time she kisses me. After a few gentle kisses, she gets a little more aggressive and I'm slowly lowered down onto my back. When she pulls away, she looks down at me with the most beautiful, soft smile ever. How did I get so lucky? She lets out a deep sigh.

"You're so beautiful," she breaths. I smile, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"That's exactly what I was just thinking about you." She smiles and closes the gap between us again.

"I don't know how you do it," I sigh into her. "This should be one of the worst days ever, but now it's my favorite. It's just- I can't have a bad day when you're around."

"Then I'm never leaving," she smiles. God, I love her smile.

As I bring my lips to hers, we hear shrieks from the living room.

"Quinn!" I say. Brittany jumps up from on top of me and helps me to my feet. As soon as we enter the living room, Brittany's hand still in mine, Quinn rushes us with an aggressive hug. She wraps her arms around both of us and her head lands in between ours. Her contact makes me stutter backwards a few steps.

"Hi," I giggle. When she pulls away, grinning big, I can see Rachel eyeing me cautiously. I give her a small nod and smile.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," Quinn squeals as she hugs me again, this time individually.

"So you had fun?" I laugh.

"So much. Thank you, really."

"Of course."

"What about you guys? You have fun?" I look at Brittany who's giving me the tiniest smirk.

"Yeah," I smile. "We had fun." I give Brittany's hand a small squeeze and pull her over to the couch. Quinn and Rachel sit across from us and before I can open my mouth Rachel asks.

"Wait, San," she almost whispers. "Did he not answer?" She asks confused.

"No," I shake my head. "He answered." Her eyes widen. Quinn looks over to her just as confused.

"I called my Dad," I tell her. "I told him everything." Everyone's silent and Brittany wraps her arm around me, pulling me closer.

"And?" Quinn says softly.

"Just what I thought," I shrug. "But I'm okay," I quickly add, smiling over at Brittany. "His loss, right?" I say looking back to an astonished Quinn and Rachel. They both quickly nod and I cut the topic off before either of them can continue.

"I'm alright, okay? I wanna hear about your trip, Q." After eyeing me for a minute, she smiles, nods, and starts talking.

"He has a hot tub," she smiles.

"Oh!" I coo, raising my eyebrows at her. She blushes a little, but doesn't deny anything.

"You didn't go out much, did you?" I ask.

"S!" She squeals.

"Hey, it's okay," I joke, "I wouldn't go out much if I was separated from this one," I say, nudging Brittany. Now she's blushing, but it only make her look cuter, if that's possible.

"Not like you go out as it is," Rachel adds. I shrug her off and Quinn interrupts us both.

"He was super romantic and serious. I mean, obviously still a big goofball, but we had a lot of serious talks."

"And?" I ask.

"I mean, we hate this distance thing," she shrugs. "And," her voice gets really, really weak. "We're...we're in love," she breaths with a smile. Rachel immediately squeals and I can't help but look at Brittany at the mention of the word. She's smiling at me, too. I move my head into hers, our noses resting against each other. Not being able to take it anymore, I kiss her softly. The kiss is intimate, like we're the only ones in the room. My hand smooths over her cheek as my butterflies expand.

Rachel fake coughs, making Brit and I smile into each other. She slowly pulls her lips from mine, but our foreheads stay connected. We giggle a little as Quinn asks, "What did I miss?"

"Not sure," Rachel says slowly.

"Anyway," Quinn says, "I think he's trying to figure out how to come here. Permanently. Or at least more frequently. He's acting like he has some plan, but I think he's just gonna leave it all. Which scares me."

"Q! That's awesome!" I squeal. It's exactly what she needs. And wants.

"Yeah," she says hesitantly. "But what if he leaves everything for me and- it, I don't know, doesn't work out?"

"Quinn," Rachel breaths.

"Don't think like that," I say. "Love is worth all the risks," I tell her, happy again to say the word love.

"She's right," Brittany adds, making me turn to give her another kiss. When we pull away, Quinn and Rachel are eyeing us again, but neither of us care.

"Quinn's got a hickey!" I scream as Quinn tilts her head to the side at me, revealing the new angle. It's not that big of a deal, considering she was just with her boyfriend, but I know it'll make her heat up.

"Oh. My. God. Q!" Rachel breaths. Her hands land on Quinn's face as she tilts her entire head towards the door, revealing the entire left side of Quinn's solidly colored neck.

"What!" I squeal. Brittany giggles with me. "Damn girl," I say. Rachel yanks on Quinn's t-shirt a little, pulling it below her collarbone. The hickey continues down God knows how far.

"Good for you," I laugh. "Hopefully that can hold you over for a few days." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Did you see your little girl?" Rachel asks when our laughter settles, remembering it was her birthday.

"We got pictures. They took her to Disney," Quinn smiles. "I could have never done that." And I can tell Quinn's proud of her decision.

As Quinn continues to tell us about Beth, talk about Puck, and show us some pictures, I look around smiling. I'm so lucky. Yeah, I may have an asshole of a father, but I have some of the best friends in the world, an amazing Mom, and the most beautiful, perfect girlfriend ever. Who I love.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

"Are you sure you want to do this? You don't owe her anything," Rachel says. "Your Dad knows, you don't have to talk to her."

"No, I have to," I tell her. "Plus, Brittany will be with me. I'll be fine."

"We'll be right here, okay? Please don't do anything stupid, Santana," Rachel pleads.

"I know," I roll my eyes. Quinn and Rachel hug me and Brittany and we leave the apartment.

"What do they think I'm gonna do, kill the bitch?" Brittany laughs and shrugs as we make our way down the stairs.

"You sure you're ready for this?" she asks.

"Completely. I've got the recorder right here, too," I smile, pointing to her jean pocket right next to her phone. "Thanks for coming with me," I say genuinely.

"Of course," she smiles.

I decided as rude as Gabriella was going to be, having Brittany there would make me feel so much safer and way more confident.

I texted Gabriella and told I was free today and she immediately invited me over to her place. I didn't tell her I was bringing Brittany, though.

The walk's only about ten minutes, and we pass the time quickly. I'm a little nervous, but it's the good kind. I'm finally gonna be done with this bitch.

"This is it," I say, nodding towards her building.

"You ready?" Brittany asks. I nod with a sigh and she pulls me in for a hug. "Remember, start off lightly. Let her say what she wants. Don't tell her you've already talked to your Dad right away."

"Right," I say, agreeing.

"Come here," Brittany smiles. And in the middle of the street, she gives a sweet kiss. It feels incredible to not worry about who is gonna see or care. It's so freeing.

We walk up the stairs and knock on the second door on the left.

She opens the door almost instantly and it takes everything in me not to slap her.

"Santana!" She smiles the fakest smile ever. "Oh," she eyes Brittany. Then she smirks at us. Rage fills me so quickly.

"What do you want?" I bite.

"Come in, please," she says calmly.

"Who's this?" she asks.

"Brittany," is all I say.

"Hi Brittany, you were at the concert, right?" She grins. "I'm Gaby."

"Yeah," Brittany nods. "Hi." I don't think Brittany has a mean bone in her body. It's so beautiful.

"Look, I don't have all day, Gabriella. Can you just tell me why you've been threatening me?"

"Threatening? What do you mean?" She says in an aggravating tone.

"Come on, cut it out. What do you want from me?"

"Nothing, I don't want anything," she says.

"Cut the shit," I say again.

She shakes her head. "Have you talked to my Mom recently?" She asks sharply.

"No?" I say. "I haven't even been talking to my Dad."

"Right," she says. "Good."

"Good?" I bark.

"Stay away from my Mom."

"Why?"

"Because she's _my_ Mom."

"And? She's _my_ aunt."

"Yeah, well you think she's gonna be all proud of her little Santana when she finds out she's a big _dyke?_" The words hit me harder than I expected. I feel Brittany's hand find it's way to the small of my back right away.

"This is what this is about? Your Mom?" Gabriella rolls her eyes. "So what? You're planning on telling your Mom I'm gay so she'll never wanna speak to me again and you can have her all to yourself?"

"She fucking _worships_ you. To her you're a fireball. And a blessed talent. Funny and beautiful."

"What you think she doesn't think those things about you?" I say, almost feeling sorry for her.

"So you are gay?" She asks. Any ounce of empathy I had for her goes right out the window.

"Woo you solved the mystery! Yeah I'm gay. And Brittany's my girlfriend. So what now? You gonna run and tell everyone?"

"If your Dad doesn't talk to you, you think my Mom's gonna?" she smirks.

"You would do that? Try to ruin my life?"

"You've ruined mine!"

"How!"

She falls silent.

"You think your Mom's gonna be proud of you when she hears you're trying to _blackmail_ me out of this family?"

"You think she's gonna believe you after she finds out who you _really _are and what you've been hiding?"

"Okay, listen here," I snap. "I'm gay, yeah. But guess what? My Mom accepts me. And my Dad doesn't. I already told him, so what are you gonna do about it?" Her face goes blank. "He doesn't love me enough okay? You win, alright? But guess what? I'm fucking happy and you're not. So maybe I'm the real winner."

Looking at Gabriella, it's clear that this is _not_ how she thought this little meeting was going to go. I'm not even exactly sure what she was trying to accomplish, but it definitely isn't this.

"Let's go," I grab Brittany's wrist. But then I stop. "Hold on," I whisper to Brittany. I give her a soft kiss on my lips and look back up at Gabriella who's glaring at me.

"Take this," I say, and pull out the tape recorder from my pocket. "I recorded this whole conversation. I could send this to your Mom easily. I'm sure she'd _love_ to hear first hand what you're trying to do. Think she'd believe me then?" I smirk. "But guess what," I say, tossing the recorder to her. She flinches as she tries to catch it. "You're not worth it."

I grab Brittany's hand before Gabriella has a chance to react.

We're silent down the first flight, but when we get to the second set Brittany tugs my hand and I turn to face her. She smiles, pressing me up against the wall. Without saying anything, her lips and body crash into mine.

"I'm so proud of you," she says, bringing her lips back to mine. I can't stop smiling against her. And I can't stop kissing her. I'm so happy. I feel so empowered. I wrap my arms around her neck. Laughing, Brittany lifts me up and I wrap my legs around her waist. We're giggling as she kisses me. Her hands run up and down my sides as I tinker with her hair. Up against that wall, I feel more liberated than ever.

Brittany slowly parts her lips from mine, and without removing her body from mine, asks, "Why'd you do it?" I start to think about it when Brittany continues in a whisper. "I mean, you _had_ her. Why'd you give her the recording?"

"Because I have you," I smile. "She'll never have anything _close _to what I have with you."

"So you won," Brittany smiles.

"I won," I repeat, taking her lips in mine. "And you're the prize," I smirk against her.

"What's my prize?" she flirts.

"How bout we go back to your place and I'll show you?" I tease back, pressing my lips to her neck. Immediately, Brittany drops me from up against the wall and I stumble onto my feet.

"What are we waiting for then?" She asks, her face dead serious.

"I love you," I smile, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her towards my lips. Her hands land on my sides and she pulls my hips into hers.

"I love you too, baby," she smiles against my mouth, making my stomach pulse. She pulls away and begins to slowly kiss down my stomach. "You know," she smirks up at me, "I think it's _your_ turn." She gives me a small wink and that's all it takes. I give a her short kiss, grab her hand, and pull her down the stairs.

"Let's get the fuck out of here," I say. Brittany giggles as we rush back to her apartment.

A year ago, I could have never imagined this for myself. Not only am I completely and absolutely in love, but I'm one hundred percent open and accepting. I'm happier than I've ever been. And I'm free. Free to be who I am and love who I love and live how I want. I'm finally free.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**The End**

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Stay tuned, an epilogue will be out soon. **

**Thank you guys so so much for everything. I hope you enjoyed the story. Thanks for supporting me and writing so many sweet messages. **

**I love you all!**

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	30. Epilogue

"I think that's the last of it," Quinn examines the room as she places the last box on the floor.

"Thank you guys," I smile to Rachel and Quinn.

"Of course," Quinn says. "You have everything?" she looks to Rachel.

"Let me take one last look," she says.

"You're only across the street," I laugh. "If you forget something we can just bring it over."

"Let her go," Quinn breaths. "She's just reminiscing." Brittany stifles a small giggle as she wraps her arms around my waist from behind. Her chin falls onto my shoulder and I turn my face enough to kiss her cheek.

"Okay," Rachel comes back.

"Rach, we got all your stuff out yesterday," I tell her. She nods reluctantly and steps next to Quinn.

"Are you guys sure about this?" I ask for about the fiftieth time this week.

"Well you're already moved in," Rachel starts to say. Quinn shoots her her dagger like glare and looks back towards us.

"Of _course_ we're sure. Happy one year," she smiles, wrapping her arms around me.

"Thanks again, Q," I say. "This is so sweet."

"You guys need your own space," she says. "I think we've _both_ had enough of hearing you two."

"Sorry," I laugh. Rachel throws her arms around Brittany and squeezes visibly too tight.

"I'm gonna miss you!" Rachel cries.

"Oh, please," Quinn rolls her eyes. "Nothing is changing. You're still gonna see her all the time." I'd normally jump on Rachel about how dramatic she's being, but after offering to let me switch housing situations with her so Brittany and I could live together, I don't really feel like it'd be the best thing to say right now.

"First I lose Brittany to Santana, next it will be you to Puck!" she cries.

"Stop being so dramatic," Quinn cries. "He _just _moved here. I'm not ready to move in with him yet, it may ruin things. He's fine with Sam and Finn. Plus, even if we wanted to, we don't have that kind of money yet."

"True," Rachel says.

"Plus, you could easily move in with Finn in that case. Or Brody. Whichever one you're dating at the moment," Quinn rolls her eyes, referring to Rachel's constant flip-flopping between the two guys.

"Shut up," Rachel sighs.

"Come on," Quinn pulls Rachel away. "Let's let them get settled. We'll see them tomorrow."

Brittany and I say our goodbyes as Rachel closes the door behind her, leaving my girlfriend and me alone for the first time in _our_ place.

I let out a heavy sigh, turning to the still shockingly beautiful blonde.

"Welcome home," she smiles with a cheesy grin, pulling me closer to her by my hips.

"Thanks, babe," I giggle, pressing my lips to hers. She pulls my bottom lip into her mouth and my stomach flips. My breath hitches.

"It's amazing," I say when I pull away. "It's been over a year since our first kiss and you still make me feel _this _incredible every time you kiss me."

"What about when I do..._this?_" she asks, dragging her hands down my back and falling to her knees. She drags the bottom of my shirt up just, giving just enough room for her to place her lips. My body shudders and she takes that as a sign to keep going. As she kisses my stomach, she unbuttons my jeans and begins tugging them down my legs.

"Geez," I laugh, "wasting no time."

"We gotta christen the apartment," she says, bringing her lips back to my stomach.

"It's not like we haven't done it all here already," I say in between a few choppy breaths. I lift my leg up as Brittany helps me step out of my jeans.

"But now it's _our_ apartment," she smirks. Her tongue glides up my stomach as she rises to her feet, simultaneously pulling my shirt over my head. As soon as she's on her feet, she tries to kiss my lips, but I turn my head offering my neck. As she sucks on my skin I work on pulling her shirt off. She quickly complies and pulls the shirt off herself. That's another thing I learned about Brittany over this past year, she loves being naked. And I love _her_ being naked, so it works.

"To the master bedroom!" She says, lifting me off the ground. I wrap my legs around her waist so I'm straddling her and she starts to carry me towards her room.

"Hey!" I say in between the kisses I'm planting on her neck. "Who. Said. Your. Room. Was. The. Master?"

"Me," she laughs. I pull my lips off her neck and she immediately retracts her statement. "We can switch! I don't care! As long as I'm with you, baby," she tries to say in a smoother voice. I either don't care that much or I'm just so turned on that I let her have her way. I tighten place my hands on her cheeks and kiss her. She lets out a hum and I continue to deepen the kiss. She resists at first, I think because she's still trying to find our way to the bed, but eventually she gives in and I feel her tongue glide against mine. She keeps walking though and we bump against a wall.

"Sorry," she mutters against me, but I just pull her lips closer to mine. She keeps walking as I alternate taking her bottom and top lip in between mine. We have a few more run-ins with walls, but after a minute or so I feel myself being thrown onto the bed. Brittany jumps on top, her legs straddling my hips.

"God you're hot," she moans, attacking my chest with her lips. She quickly unlatches my bra and before I know it I'm struggling to get her pants off. Her lips trail down my stomach as her fingers slide my underwear down my legs. She wastes no time as her fingers immediately begin slipping through my wetness. I let out a moan the second she touches me and she starts kissing my thighs. I let my nails lightly run down her bare back because my body's twisting in all sorts of ways and this is they only thing I can manage.

"Fuck," I breath as her tongue slips through my folds. Brittany's tongue is like magic and it warms my insides. She flicks it around and my muscles are contracting all over. Her hands begin to grip my ass and I lose all control. My hearts pounding everywhere. I don't know how many seconds longer it takes for me to finish, but it only takes Brittany three more tongue swirl to send me over the edge.

"Brit!" I moan. My leg muscles tighten and all at once my body relaxes.

Brittany's red face comes up from in between my legs with a giggle. It's almost embarrassing how easily she can finish me off, but I guess that just is an attribute to how much I love her.

"Geez, you're getting way to good at that," I say when I finally catch my breath. Brittany crawls up my body and nuzzles her head into my neck. She begins to plant soft, light kisses along my neck.

"I love you," she smiles.

"I love you, too," I say, lifting her lips towards mine. Brittany slides her body up the bed and I take the opportunity to pepper her neck with some kisses.

"I can't believe this," she says as I begin to taste her skin. "We're living together."

"It's not like we weren't basically doing that this past year," I say, referring to our almost daily sleepovers.

"Yeah, but now there's _no_ interruptions."

"True," I smile against her neck. "Now you can walk around naked _all_ day."

"Yessss," she breaths. "And I can jump you _anytime_." We lay there for a few minutes as I pepper her body with kisses.

"We'll have to set up the other room for my Dad and Troy tomorrow," she finally says.

"Right," I say, almost have forgotten they were coming. "What time are they getting in?"

"Not until late," she says. "I'm excited."

"Me too," I smile.

"He can finally see us be _girlfriends!_" she squeals. I giggle a little, scooting up on the bed a little. She wraps her arm around me as she pulls me closer to her.

"You're Dad's so awesome," I say.

"I know," she smiles. When Brittany finally told her Dad we were dating, he was weirdly ecstatic. Apparently, he hadn't really _loved _any of the guys Brittany had brought home or mentioned and was really starting to doubt her choice in partners. I guess he was satisfied with me since he thought I was a good friend. Brittany went home twice to visit, both times I couldn't make the trip because of school. Her Dad could never make it here with work, but he sent Troy alone once. We Skype together at least once a week, though, so it's not like we haven't been in contact.

"Troy's super excited to see you," she smiles, kissing my forehead. "I think she likes you more than me."

"Probably," I shrug. "I mean, look at me," I roll my eyes. Brittany playfully hits me.

"What do you think she's gay, too?" she laughs.

"Who knows?" I shrug. "Maybe I can turn her too," I joke.

"Shut up," Brittany playfully laughs.

I nuzzle my head into her again and we fall silent as my mind begins to wonder.

"You okay?" She finally asks.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"You thinking about the email?" She asks.

"Kind of," I admit. Thinking about Brittany's Dad makes me think of mine.

It's been a little under a year since I told him. And since then, I haven't heard from him at all. My Mom says he's asked about me every time they've spoken, but that's not all too often. I've been talking to my Aunt, Gabriella's mom, though. After that whole ordeal with Gabriella, it only took about a week to hear from my Aunt. She had heard from my Dad that I was, in fact, gay. Instead of disowning me, though, she acted super supportive and happy for me, reminding me how much she loves me. It did take her a week to call, though, so I assume she needed a week to digest the information. Still, she came around and never disowned me, a big reason why I've always loved her. About a week after _that, _I got another call from my aunt. She apologized over and over again for _whatever_ Gabriella had done. She was ashamed to hear what Gabriella had to say to her. So ashamed she never told me exactly what Gabriella said. Needless to say, she stopped talking to Gabriella for quite some time. I received endless apologies from that girl, enough that I eventually answered her call and told her I was over it. I told my aunt she was just being immature and that she should talk to her because I knew exactly what it felt like to have a parent cut you off.

"Have you decided if you're gonna answer?" Brittany asks. Answer what? Oh, right. The email.

Four days ago, I got a call from a weird number. I was busy at dinner with the girls so I ignored it. When I listened to the voicemail, his shaky voice pierced my heart. _Hey Santana, it's me. _Like I was supposed to know who "me" was after a year of not hearing it. I mean, I did, but still. _Call me sometime when you get this._ That's all he said. Like the past year hadn't transpired.

I didn't call back and he called again. Two more times. Two days ago, I got an email. I've read it over fifty times by now.

_Hola Santana, _

_I don't even know how to start this email. I realize my phone call was inappropriate. I want to apologize for this past year. Not just this year, but most of your grown up life. I haven't supported you the way a father should. I thought cutting you out of my life would teach you a lesson. Make you not want to perform. Make you straight. But I was wrong. And I've regretted my decision. I think about you constantly. From what your Mother tells me, you're doing great. And I'm very happy. I don't know how to make you trust or love me again, but I want to try. While I still don't think singing is the best career path, your Mother tells me you've had many auditions and even interest from a talent agent? I still am not completely comfortable with you being gay, but that doesn't change who you are and I shouldn't have let it._

_If you ever are up to it, I'd love to hear from you. No judgements, just a father. We could try again._

_I hope one day you will allow me back into your life. I would love to be there for the day you and Brittany walk down the aisle, I hear from your mother that is what you really want. _

_I hope to hear from you, mija. _

_-Papa_

He didn't even sign it love.

I've been so conflicted. Half of the letter made me want to believe him. He was honest. He admitted he wasn't comfortable with me being gay, but he was trying to accept it. And the bit about the wedding, it gave me chills. But the entire email sounds like some business deal. That's how he's always been, though, so I don't know if I should take that into consideration.

"My Mom said he has been asking about me. Calling just to check up," I shrug. "I don't know." Brittany rubs her hand down my arm.

"I'm just not ready to get hurt again," I admit. Being with Brittany has made me so much better at talking about my feelings. She smiles as she realizes this too.

"If anything, I think this is at least a step in the right direction."

"Yeah," I smile. "Me, too."

I look up at her and give her a small kiss.

"Thanks," I smile.

"Anytime."

"This has been the best year of my life," I blurt out.

"Me too," she says without missing a beat.

"You're the most incredible, beautiful, girl in the world and I'm so thankful for you," I say. "Everyday."

She leans in and kisses me again, softer than before.

"I love you so much," she says slowly. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Me too," I smile as a shiver hits me. As I stare at Brittany, I can't believe how lucky I am. She's literally the most beautiful, talented, human to exist. I'm convinced I could meet every single person on this earth and never find someone I _like_ half has much as I love Brittany.

"I love you," I breath against her lips.

"I love you, too," she smiles, pressing her lips against mine. "For infinity," she says. I melt into her for about the billionth time. It's something I know I'm gonna be doing forever.

As she pulls away, a devilish smirk grows on my lips.

"Hm?" She says.

"I think it's _my_ turn to help christen this place," I smile, immediately sliding down her body the way I have so many times before and the way I no doubt will time and time again.

**XxxxxxxxxxxX**

**Hi guys! Thank you so so much for all the support you've given me and this story! I hope this helped wrap a few things up. I'm never great at ending stories but they all have to end sometime!**

**You guys are awesome and thank you for reading!**

**For those asking, I'm thinking about doing a holiday Brittana fanfic starting in like 3 weeks or so. Add me to author alert if you wanna read it or check out my tumblr, I'm sure I'll post it there.**

**Thanks! Love you guys!**

**Xoxo**

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